don't let her know

Me and my fiancé are TTC and I have honestly never been more happy or more positive feeling in my life. The thought of having a child growing inside of me makes me want to be a better person and take care of myself so much better. I never thought I would actually find someone who I wanted to 100% have a child with. But being a stepmom and watching my fiancé be an amazing dad and fight for what's right for his children made me realize this is who I want my child to have as a father. I know whenever I get pregnant my child is going to have all the love in the world. Since we've been trying, I told my parents right away and they're very happy and excited. They love my step children and are super excited for me to have a child. I'm so happy I have so much support from them. My biggest problem I've had through all this is that I'm on an antidepressant / anti anxiety medication and I was scared that it would affect my pregnancy or increase my chance of miscarriage. With luck, I was able to get a new doctor in the city where I live last month and had my first appointment with her yesterday. She is AMAZING. I told her everything I had been doing since we've been trying to conceive (quitting alcohol, taking folic acid, getting the flu shot, eating healthy, exercising, researching, etc) and she told me I've been doing everything and more that I need to do. She ordered blood work for me and told me once I'm pregnant she will order prenatal blood work for me. When I asked about my medication (escitalopram) she told me generally she wouldn't want me on the medication unless I REALLY needed it. Unfortunately, I absolutely need it. She called an obstetrician at our local hospital and told me she would call me back once he called her back and she asked him about my medication and if it was safe. She also wrote me a new prescription for a year for my escitalopram which is something my old family doctor was so against since he believes you can get over mental health issues through meditation and not medication. My new doctor personally called me back within an hour of leaving my appointment and told me it was fine for me to be on my medication because it's such a low dosage. I have never had a doctor actually personally call me back. I am so happy my future child is going to have this woman as their doctor! Also, since I've been telling my close friends about ttc and not drinking anymore I have been invited out places a lot less by certain people. I have lost contact with a couple people but I am not really bothered by it because it makes me realize who my real friends are. I am just very fortunate that I have who I do for a support system and am done feeling negative about my life or wasting money on things that don't matter. The only thing that matter to me now is my family and my close friends & the fact that I feel more alive than I ever have before. For the first time I feel like I actually know what I want in life and am having a positive outlook.