i hope donkey kong walks into my house and smashes a barrel over my head killing me instantly 

i like to pretend i don’t give a fuck but honestly i don’t think i’ve ever not given a fuck in my whole life

if i’m still alive by 25 i will be seriously impressed with myself

honestly i dont even play an active role in my life shit just happens and im like oh is this what we’re doing now ok

back scratches are the key to my affection

i deadass lost interest in everything. im just cruising on autopilot rn

Not to vent but: fuck

if i was a skeleton i would just say “that really rattles my bones” in response to literally everything

draco malfoy is my ride or die, dont you dare disrespect him in front of me

I am 2000% sure that I’ve spent at least 200x more time reading fanfiction than I have reading the actual books

me??? upset???? yes constantly

i want serena williams to hit me full force in the face with a tennis racquet and kill me

i plan to spend the rest of my life Doing It For Her (carrie fisher)

mornings are gross and i want no part in them

One day I’m gonna say “fight me!” and someone’s just gonna fuckin deck me