GleeUnion Gossip

Because she thinks she’s entitled to everything and gets upset when people make an innocent joke, or are being more successful in life than she is. Newsflash sweetheart: not everyone is going to come to your beck and call. Sometimes, you have to put in the effort otherwise you’ll get nowhere in life. 

I feel bad for her family, too. Honestly, it seems like all she does is whine and make everything about her and when it’s not about her--- whines more until the subject is turned into something about her. Honestly, it’s exhausting. I can only imagine the amount of jealousy coursing through her bones over the fact that he’s more famous than she could ever dream. 

Should we get into the fact that he’s pretty much in the between the drama between her and her sister? Like damn, I hate to be that kid. Having to chose your girlfriend’s side or your friends side, when clearly the friend is in the right? Yikes, I do not envy him. (I envy her though, hey Shawn ;) )

Needless to say, I haven’t seen much of the two sickeningly sweet lovebirds in a week. Could there be trouble in paradise? Did Shawn finally realize how annoyingly condescending she can be? One can only hope. 

[ psa that some of these secrets are heavier and triggers are tagged in the tag section. ]

to start us off? whoo, a doozy! ms. glory ain’t seen this level of fuckery in a hot minute. as most know by this point- ms. adele karofsky ( @not-that-adele ) & mr. chandler zizes ( @chandlerzizes ) are expecting a baby! it came as a shock to most everyone including their families, who were confused at the long-time friends sudden hookup. however, this wasn’t JUST a hook up!  you heard it first here, folks. this baby was planned. the two made a pact in high school and miss ‘del decided to cash in. but, what she didn’t know is that despite his hesitation this is a dream come true for chandler. our sources confirm that he’s been in love with adele for years and even gave up a scholarship to notre dame to follow her to new york and admit his feelings. obviously.. he didn’t do that. no, mr. zizes chickened out and ended up staying here in lima with only regret and the brand of lima loser. so, adele... what do you say? gonna give your baby daddy an actual chance or are you just gonna keep him dangling like you have all these years?

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our next expose is on the lovely shawn puckerman ( @puckshawn​ )! moving to new york is on the horizon, but as everyone knows this isn’t isn’t his first time away from lima. around the age of seven it was told to most of his family and friends that he went off to a boarding school in england when in fact, he ended up becoming quite the celebrity over in those parts! he’s been in an english daytime drama, and even the west end production of hamilton! the star quality you’ve all seen in mr. puckerman is indeed, already confirmed. i wonder how willy feels about him being more famous than she could ever hope to be?

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TRIGGERS AHEAD ! 

( s*icide mention )

this part isn’t for the faint of heart... we here at your friendly neighborhood gossip blog actually worry for these two kiddos. sources have revealed that mikey chang ( @mikeyxchang ) & regina puckerman ( @ginapuck ) aren’t the innocent little relationship most people think they are. while they’ve briefly touched on the fact they met online, it goes so much deeper than most would know. the chatroom they met on was more dark web than your average chat and it was one exclusively for... suicidal teens. while the two seem happier now than they most likely were when they met online, the previously anonymous lovebirds’ start was a dark one. while we aren’t sure how mama puckerman and daddy chang will take this news, we find it necessary to divulge. here’s to the puckerchangs.. you two are gonna need all the luck you can get. 

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( near death experience mention )

the next segment is about someone we’ve talked about before- mr. callum clarington-smythe ( @callumcs ). while in the past we’ve questioned his loyalty and intentions to zoey, this has nothing to do with ms. zizes. multiple sources have confirmed that the swim team may be in jeopardy if he continues to compete. callum apparently has a deathly fear of swimming and does it as a way to try to rid himself of that fear. after an accident as a child that almost took his life he struggles everytime his head goes under that water. at this point, isn’t he more of a liability on the team? it’s only a matter of time before his luck runs out and that panic attack starts in the pool.

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( drunk hookup mention )

our next few reveals have to do with- you guessed it- kids. surprise, surprise.

as you all know, wanda evans ( @wandanotmaximoff  ) has given birth to a bouncin’ baby boy named sammy. as happy as we all are for her, the circumstances around the conception of lil’ sammy are... well, one for the books. we’ve been informed that while wanda has dodged the question of the identity of her son’s father, it’s none other than her best friend mr. asher mcintosh ( @ashermcintosh​ ). the two hooked up drunkenly nine plus months ago and the result was little sammy evans- or should i say little sammy mcintosh? when ms. evans went to inform her best friend of this mistake our favorite shit father biff mcintosh strong-armed her into staying silent and without our help she’d surely take this to the grave... however, that’s not how things work around her! but don’t worry wanda! this is a dream come true for asher... go ask him yourself.

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( miscarriage talk HEAVILY )

while the two besties are full of drama, we’ve got some sadder news to reveal. loss is something we’ve touched on before on this page but little did we know at the time that another one of our own has had the tragedy happen as well- times two. yvonne bukowkski ( @yvonnebukowski​ ) has lost two pregnancies thus far and we wish only the best and all the baby dust for the future if she decided to try again. but, considering sean flanagan is unaware of these goings-on due to his touring? it felt like some light needed to be shed on the matters. it’s a well-known fact ( at least to us ) that sean’s commitment issues have had him putting off engagement for a while now. as cute as they are, is their relationship going to last with the lies and omission on both sides?

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our very last secret is a bombshell that’s more for you older gleeks out there.. we’ve gotten the shocking news that a child walks among us ( which, doesn’t sound all too surprising ) but believe us when we say your jaws will hit the floor. the child in question is the daughter of the dearly departed finn hudson. the tall, clumsy blonde’s name is ms. noah hudson ( @noahxxhudson​ ) and the most alarming part of her history is the fact that both finn and the also departed noah puckerman knew about her. while she never got to meet finn, ms. hudson was fairly close with her godfather before his passing. while we can’t speak as to why puck never shared this information with anyone, we can only pass it around now that noah hudson walks among the other children of our glee alumni. let’s just hope she didn’t get her father’s dance skills!

Like I said before, we all saw it coming. They broke up once before for some stupid ass shit and they broke up again for some stupid ass shit. Dillion is a jackass are we all surprised? Not at all. He’s your typical ‘I only care about myself, boobs and video games’ teenage boy who gets upset and blows up at the first sign of someone disagreeing and calling him out on his shit. 

I’m glad Gretchen and Dillion broke up. Maybe now she’ll be happier and he can go live a hole. 

And that’s gossip, how? We’ve known this ever since he stepped into the place, gray face. It was only a matter time before he showed his douchebaggery to everyone. 

hello everyone! it has come to that time of the night where we announce your winners of the 2040 william mckinley high school prom royal court! 

drumroll please...

oh wow - yeah. everything’s starting to click now, huh? she just wants someone to show her the ropes, but is jude even down for that? i wouldn’t be surprised if he just up and fucking left after all that came out, i knew i sure as hell wouldn’t want to waste all that energy on someone.

ouuu, yes, tell me, please!

hmm, probably. that seems to be the running theme now, huh? callum with zoey, banks with emma, who else?

i mean - they’re both of age, and it’s not really that bad when you think about it. julien’s only what - nineteen? thats literally a year between them. that’s nothing.

eh - i haven’t seen much of him, to be honest. seems like your regular well rounded gay. what more could you ask for?

i’m sorry - do you really think these people are out here getting animals just for the hell of it? like they’re going to adopt them and then drop them when their lives start getting good? i have yet to see someone mistreat their animals at all, so if you want to sit here and tell me they’re wrong for getting something to brighten up their lives in one way or another, i’m going to need you to walk right out that fucking door. i don’t fuck with this shit, i’ll sit here and spill tea on anyone you want, but when it comes to animals, and people with animals they love, i don’t fucking take it. try again next time, hun.

aren’t you supposed to tell me the tea? isn’t that what this whole blog shit is for?

who’s? emma’s? i mean - does she even know her own last name with all this switching around n’ shit? i don’t think i blame him, if he is just trying to get some pussy. seems like that’s all the guys want around here.