ira lupus

Arthur’s expression went blank in unison with his thoughts as an, in his mind, impossible miracle occurred. Gareth, his knight he had failed, his understudy he couldn’t save, the girl he allowed to die at the hands of the man once his best friend… She had stepped forward, prclaimed him her family– and had embraced him.

His body became as stone, and a chill of some unknown terror swept through his veins like ice as the warmth clinging to his front frightened him like nothing ever had before.

This wasn’t right. He wasn’t allowed to be this. He wasn’t meant to be human. His reason for being was to serve a purpose to the world.

H-He wasn’t– …He couldn’t–?

A long-forgotten sensation then began to emerge from somewhere he couldn’t place. It was a feeling that bewildered him, defied all he knew. It was a feeling he had never known since… Since the night in the greenhouse. Where the purity of innocence broke away the chains on his heart, whispering to him words kinder than he had ever known. Those words now came to him once more.

It’s okay. You can have this. You can let go. You can be human.

What would come next was decidedly not the act of any Heroic Spirit nor legend.

This was not Arthur Pendragon the King. This was not Arthur Pendragon the Knight. With quivering arms, Arthur Pendragon the Man embraced his niece.

His arms coiled around her in a snug vice, not compressing but also not relenting. His head came down over her shoulder, holding the smaller girl close in a way he hadn’t anyone else for a long, long time.

His shoulders began to shake. From somewhere over her shoulder, Gareth would feel tiny warm droplets making contact with her skin.

“Thank you.”

It was nothing like the passive acceptance of before. The pure, earnest gratitude came in a voice richer and deeper in emotion than any the King had ever spoken to her.

“Y-your majesty!” This was not what she thought could happen and it’s quite difficult to process. At first, distress is quick to invade her thoughts. Had she done something wrong by approaching him with such familiarity? She was ready and willing to accept any type of lecture but to see him so vulnerable...

An awkward pat on the back, a silly attempt to reassure the king that became more natural as she continued to do so. It was born from hesitance at having the ruler of their land so close but she couldn’t simply stop. Embracing him with equal fervour, Gareth took in full his feelings. 

She cared about the king (no matter what form they took) and if she could at least provide some comfort, then perhaps she can continue trying. Gareth remained the most naive and young among their companions, unable to become the full-fledged knight others expected. Failing in stopping Lancelot only made her even more eager in proving herself as a Servant, she had to be reliable and strong enough to prevent more tragedies.

So like when she tried to comfort her siblings, the Lancer took a more warmer turn. No matter if older and experienced than her, the pureness of her love surely can come through.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. Everything will be okay.”

Arthur found himself stricken silent. It was much like Gareth to do this kind of thing, but Arthur had to wonder…had she done this– due to the occasion, or–?

No, no, surely not. When it came to her family grouping, it was almost exclusively her siblings and Mordred, and why shouldn’t it be? What had he done in life that could garner inclusion in such a thing?

“…Thank you, Gareth.” Arthur accepted the cookies, though for some reason, his smiling face came across– hollow. “I’m glad for this– recognition, as a leader.”

“Forgive my rudeness, your majesty but you are sorely mistaken about the intent of my gift!” She was so ashamed for attempting to correct the king, if her cheeks weren’t naturally rosy anyone would point how they were brighter than usual. Remaining calm had to be primordial, otherwise her efforts would go to waste!

Leaving her actual father had been easier than congratulating her own king, how silly...

“I was informed of today’s holiday, Father’s day and-- I thought that I could offer something. Please think of this gift as a symbol of our affection, from me and my dearest brothers!” Yes, including Agravain. The siblings were so different but their loyalty was strong and representing the entire group was a given with half of them missing. 

“Your majesty is also my uncle and a father, certainly calling you my own parent would be insolent but acknowledging your title surely is fine, right?” Hesitant, the Lancer outstretched her arms-- she was shaking as she closed the gap, shaking alone from embarrassment. This was quite the insolent demeanour and surely, would award her some type of scolding later. Gareth remained an innocent girl, one who wanted to denote her love properly and if the other knights aren’t present then it should be possible. 

Just for a bit, she can hold her family close. 

     “my parentage was a complicated ordeal. my father did not raise me, but i am forever grateful towards sir ector whom did.”

     “in a way merlin raised me as well, but do not tell him i’m thankful for that. i don’t wish for him to expect me to call him ‘father’ or something equally strange.”

“If you allow me to be so bold, your majesty... I have prepared a small token of my gratitude for you. This is not only to show appreciation to our king but to a wonderful uncle and a guiding light to all us.”

“Please try to be more careful. I’d hate to think harm might come to you in future.” The Saber offers a smile and an outstretched hand to help her onto her feet, he’d be lying if he thought this didn’t present an opportunity for friendship. But this is the normal reaction every time he crosses paths with a new Servant. They’re all super cool in their own unique way, how could he possibly ignore that.

As much as he tries to refrain from saying anything on the subject, it’s physically impossible, so ends up blurting it out. Full throttle excitement. “You’re a Servant, aren’t you?” A thoughtful hum. “Are you by any chance… Gareth?” It’s apparent he’s not even trying to hide it anymore, she’s probably very confused. And definitely not prepared.

“I’ll try.” A sheepish smile is offered in gratitude, his outstretched hand taken in. Now that she was back on her feet, she quickly dusted off her clothes. What an introduction. Gareth wasn’t clumsy per se but she had shown that her clumsiness could also be notorious when caught off guard.

Speaking of, her face denoted confusion in how he not only noticed her essence as a Servant but also her true name -- was it safe to be known? He didn’t seem entirely bad and helped her. It was fine to trust him, right?

“Gareth, you’re not understanding…” He sighed. “Well, I suppose your first manifestation wasn’t within a Grail War.”

He takes a few paces away from her, extending his arm.

“Maybe you’ll understand– if I show you this way.”

A furious wind began to whip up in the area, centered around the knight-king’s risen arm. Amidst the sudden, sweeping, furious gales, a bounty of magicules began to come together in the space in front of his open hand, the pale blue lights amassing collectively into a particular shape.

Yes, undoubtedly, this was the coming of the Holy Sword of the Planet, the fabled Excalibur–

–when suddenly, the activity all completely ceased, the magicules dispersing again. Arthur seemed to shudder heavily…then, overcome, he collapsed. The king dropped to a single knee, eye winced shut, breath coming in heavy heaves. He seemed absolutely exhausted.

“This… Hah…hah… is the reality of what we may face in a usual Grail War.” He raised a palm to stop the assured attempt to help him up that would come. “In Chaldea, we are supplied the endless mana of Avalon, but normally, we are subsided only by the mana our Masters can provide…”

Coughing a few times and taking a few more gulps of air, Arthur sighed, rising back to his feet again.

“…And in this case, it would seem we have been lessened to the barest of minimums.” He shakes his head. “Had I tried a moment longer to force the Holy Sword into being, I’d have passed out– and I still would not have succeeded.”

“Your lance, your ring; they are not lost to you – they’ve simply been sealed to an echelon of your being that, in these conditions, you cannot reach.”

Gareth had to reach him and help him out but it could be insulting and ignorant to attempt touching him so casually. Instead, she watched closely. Trying to swallow her worry. Her hands stayed at her sides, only forming a fist. Ashamed of her own hesitance. 

She stayed quiet, as if the realisation finally dawned upon her. His physical performance and example sufficed to keep her clear on how everything was functioning. Though at the risk of Arthur fainting, which she felt extremely guilty about. 

Her summoning was not normal and unlike many of the other knights, had minimal experience in every aspect of her life. It was very painful to understand how little ability and knowledge she had, even after her own death. 

“I’m sorry, your majesty. I burdened you with my naivety.” 

She endangered the king, all because she was acting selfish. 

“Even though they’re in me, I’m sure Lady Lyonesse would still be mad... after all, it’s the precious item she gave me and donning it is the proof of my courage. She might actually think I lost it, hehe.” She truly was fond of her lance and ring, it was quite the sentimental view that upset her at the beginning. Sheepishly scratching her cheek, she comes down with an excellent idea. 

“I will protect you, your majesty. So all the mana spent in your demonstration, I will help you in regaining it. Let me hunt you a huge wild boar to have a feast!” 

     ❝   — Huh ?   ❞

          THAT   was so like Gareth… Even now, chomping at the bit to do whatever there was to be done. Blonde brows remain sky-high, the hand not on Clarent’s hilt feeling rather limp at her side. Mordred knew of Gareth’s fate, of course, as did most of the Round; Lancelot’s memory still leaves a sour taste. But did the young Lancer ever discover her fate — or Camelot’s ?  No — the Grail likely imparted as much. So then, why… ? 

          Gareth’s presence and her words seem to sink in at around the same time, the Saber quick to shake her head like a child warding off sleep. She finally manages to pick up her jaw, so to speak… And a broad grin quickly finds its way to her face.   ❝   ‘Brawling location,’ huh ?  That location happen to have a name ? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure I know exactly what you’re talkin’ about.   ❞

Awaiting for an answer in eager, the young knight kept a serene smile. The other not only appeared confused by the proposition but also by the nonchalant approach, carefree as ever. As if the downfall of Camelot never occurred, as if their very demise was but a bitter memory that can be placated in the depths of their souls. 

Gareth knew better than anyone else not to judge her companions, often placing the blame on herself. She failed to stop Lancelot, so it wasn’t his fault but her own as his attendant. If she had survived, she could’ve just felt bad for not being able to stop Mordred. As her comrade, as her family -- she also could not comprehend how burdensome it was to be the king’s child, the expectations and also the desire of being acknowledged. 

Above all, she only wished to be close to her.  

At the question, she immediately took it as a positive response to heard forward into this quest!

“Denny’s. I’ve heard so much about it, if we let it grow then it can turn into a roman coliseum for illegal fights! We can’t let that happen!” 

There it is, that bubbly optimism, that infectious energy, who else could this be but the darling of the Round Table? To be able to share in Gareth’s company again was an unexpected boon, enough to almost forget the strenuous circumstances he found himself in.

Of course, Arthur still understood the divide between who exactly he was to her, but… Ah, to hell with it! He would treat her as his adorable niece all he liked; if the King of Knights had issue with it, she was more than welcome to fight him over it!

“Sir Gareth.”

A gentle hand rested itself upon the crown of her head.

“To begin with, calm yourself. Such panic suits you more ill than any put-upon circumstances. Besides,” A gentle smile graced his features, “your lance is not ‘lost’ to you, even if it may seem that way.”

Giving her hair a playful ruffle, he took his hand away, instead allowing it to rest reassuringly on her shoulder.

“You stand here a Heroic Spirit; have you forgotten?” An affirmative nod. “Look within yourself, feel out your Spirit Origin, seek out that familiarity. I think you’ll find ‘lost’ is not the word you’re looking for.”

A Noble Phantasm was part-and-parcel to their existence, after all – it could hardly be removed. The manifesting it in their current restraints, however, was what was presently impossible.

“My apologies, your majesty. I was overlooking such important details.” She worried with good reason, having her hands tied and no capacity to stand among her fellow knights deeply was deeply saddening. Even so, her king was wise as ever. No matter the form in which they manifested, their calming presence and vast wisdom remained. Truly, he was the uncle she respected and loved with all her heart. 

Welcoming the reassuring head upon her hair, she could no longer allow defeat within her features. Instead, a shy yet happy smile adorned her lips. Such treatment was fitting for a child but she did not mind when it came from her family, though it can be considered embarrassing in a way.

Were these the perks of inexperience?

The lance Sir Merlin gave her was important but at the mention of what was important, she understood better that she had forgotten what truly mattered -- the ring of transformation. Gareth looked up to Arthur, her eyes slightly watering at the mere notion of having such important item taken away. 

“Sir Mordred.”

“I heard about a brawling location, quite famous in the area. I’m severely worried about how it can affect the peacefulness of this island. Would it be not in our best interests to stop such activities?”

Naive and full of wonder, Gareth needed a way to approach her cousin and was it not best to do so while performing their duty as knights? Despite their existence as Servants, she kept herself quite firm in doing what was familiar. Maintaining peace, protecting the innocent and defeating those against justice. 

Her admiration rarely helped when approaching them, often unsure how to close the gap that was so painfully apparent. Both were brave, yet the Lancer was more tame and meek in comparison to the fire burning within Mordred. For that reason, she had to step in and start turning into the motions now that there was a chance. 

Bestowed with knowledge from the grail did not mean the ability of using devices foreign to your time. For that very reason, Gareth had spent her time staring at this so-called ‘smartphone’ that was readily given upon arrival. It made noises and vibrated, which startled the knight rather quick whenever it made its magic. 

Definitively as scary as Sir Merlin. 

But others used their own with such ease, she had to clear her doubts before giving up and wounding up an incompetent fool.

She was pointing at the phone, a severe expression on her face.

“Lancer reporting to duuuuty!” 

From afar, a hand waved to catch Ritsuka’s attention. Having a good eye to discern her Master from others was beneficial, though she had very unique characteristics that helped. In the middle of a beach at night, specially. 

The knight in question was still investigating the island and finding her was a delightful coincidence. If she had been brought here, then it was natural for the Master to be present. Otherwise, her existence would make little sense. 

Delighted to see one of the symbolic faces from Chaldea here. If Mashu was here, it meant that her Master cannot be far too behind.

“Lady Mashu, you look so dazzling today. Without the armour, I really can tell the difference between you and Sir Galahad.” That is not something to be proud of but Gareth was brimming by the fact alone. Getting used to someone donning the power of her mentor’s son wasn’t as easy, even if she liked Mashu as much as everyone from the Round Table. She could only wish she joined them more often as fellow knights, which she was very ready to make an effort in pulling her into the knighthood zone! 

“Your majesty! You’re here!”

Emotion overflowed within Gareth, her words and face denoting the relief she felt at meeting her King. Getting used to the other incarnations remained a complicated task and while she loved most of them dearly and would gladly fight for their lives, the familiar factions of the Arturia she knew were comforting.

The younger knight was fiddling with her hands and before realising, she was lifting the pastry to show it - as if presenting an offering of sorts. An offering in the form of a packaged muffin, on its most basic form: vanilla and chocolate chips. 

“I brought you something...” 

Gareth wasn’t lost but her expression gave often that impression. Her curiosity and urgency of figuring it out most locations of her new world had drove her a bit far from the residential area. She had been walking aimlessly, admiring with great wonder the flora that decorated this place. However, being this overly distracted was no good. Even more for a knight of such caliber. 

That almost lead her to an unpleasant experience, as a wrong step sufficed to nearly fall and she barely noticed the cliff where the path lead --  shutting down her eyes and ready to brace the fall, a forceful pull brought her back before crashing down to god knows where. 

She fell on her back, sweat drops running cold down her forehead. The Lancer didn’t notice who had it been but her manners went above, even if she was cowering inside. 

Fighting upon arrival was not a good look for a knight. Yet, she assumed it the best choice for when a couple of men were harassing a damsel of the area. Gareth was very capable of handling a couple of people in her lonesome with great agility and speed, but even then accidents occur.

Once finished, the wooden lance in her hand had become really chipped and the handle had broken in two. She wouldn’t force anything against a wall ever again, getting used to a magical weapon does this to you! Oh, this was nothing but cheating at the end! Where was her pride!? She can’t protect a country if this is how she managed her own weapons.

Now of all times, she had to be found by the king while trying to piece together the pole. It couldn’t go worse than this. It might not be her king but it was still the king.

Regardless of circumstances, all were her uncle and ruler. 

“Your majesty.” Knelt down and features unwilling to face him directly, Gareth kept quiet before breaking her formation and allowing her shame flow freely in her words and demeanour. She stood up in little time, arms waving desperately and face contorted in utter embarrassment.