I finally figured out how Tumblr works

basketball players fight over the basketball because they are hypnotized before each game to believe it is their egg

What?

Woah. Is this real?

women shoild only eat female animals and men should only eat male animals .

what about non binary people

fuck i don’t know

oysters

Glad I’m genderfluid

We can eat anything we want!

you have to eat oysters

how are those caterpillars now

sad news, my son Crispin Shopify III saw a picture of me when i was breastfeeding him as a baby. the psychiatrists all agreed that exposure to this act which is potentially incestuous and sexual was equivalent to infinite permanent sexual trauma, and so we've decided to euthanize him and just start again from the beginning. hopefully i wont fuck it up again this time. god bless.

this is how Freud thought

dudes online used to spend 72 hours on photoshop uninterrupted editing people’s faces to look scary and we called the finished product some shit like jeff the killer and put him in spirit halloween and on wikipedia These days you open tumblr and top of dash is a 42 note edit of jerma’s face so fucked up looking that it could’ve been used to texture a corpse in a y2k valve game and you get a little nauseous and otherwise just keep scrolling. and this is known as “a tuesday