so who’s the older twin?
george: we’re twins it doesn’t matter.
fred: me.

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@gryffidnorgranger
so who’s the older twin?
george: we’re twins it doesn’t matter.
fred: me.

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Sirius: Fugitive or not, it’s nice to be wanted.
Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.
Harry Potter, probably
James: I wish I had a super tight-knit group of friends I could fight crime with!
Sirius: I wish I had a super tight-knit group of friends I could commit crime with!
Lily: I wish I had a super tight-knit group of friends.
Snape: I wish I had friends.
Remus: I wish I could knit.
Sirius: Hey Remus can you get me a drink?
Remus: Sure, what do you want?
Sirius: Something as dark as my merciless soul.
Remus: *carries in atlas’s of milk*
Sirius: I feel insulted.
Remus: You should.

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Sirius: *does something so stupid, just so stupid, absolute stupid*
Remus: ah. regrettably, that is the love of my life.
Ron: EEEK ITS FATHER DAY! THIS YEARS GONNA BE GREAT!! HOW ARE YOU GUYS GONNA SHOW YOUR DADS YOU’RE THANKFUL FOR THEM?
Harry, who’s father is dead:
Hermione, who’s father is charmed to forget he ever had a child:
Neville, who’s father is kept away in a hospital and is hardly even a father figure:
Dumbledore: Ah, I see you’ve received my note?
Harry: Of course I got it. You taped it to my head while I was sleeping.
Sirius: Aaand we’re back on at Secrets with Sirius!! Today’s topic: Lily hit James with a book; lover’s spat???? potential breakup?????
please, tell me I’m wrong

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Hermione: You said you were taking me somehwere private.
Ron *from inside his blanket fort*: Not even Harry is allowed in here.
Remus: *trips over the curb*
Sirius: *fucking annihilates the entire city*
Hermione: International women’s day everybody!! You know what that means!! Harry, Ron, sit still look pretty!!
Lucius: What are you gonna do, cry about it?
Draco: Oh I fucking will.
Ron: I’m such an idiot.
Ron:
Hermione:
Ron:
Hermione:
Ron:
Hermione: If you’re waiting for me to disagree with you this is going to be a very long night.

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McGonagall: Do any of you have healthy stress outlets?
Ginny: screaming
Ron: moping
Harry: drinking
Hermione: plotting revenge
Draco: murder
McGonagall:
McGonagall: Okay so we have screaming.
James: hello
Lily: hell no