Grumply-Grump

Head & Shoulders should sell a body wash named Knees & Toes.

If Jimmy Wales shuts down Wikipedia tomorrow we’ll all be sorry we didn’t send him a measly $3

While my parents drove, as a kid I would always imagine someone running along side the car jumping over obstacles.

I prefer my cookies medium-rare

Bathtubs are opposite boats.

Home alone is the children’s version of die hard.

A religion is really just a cult that “made it”

If your buttcrack was horizontal it would clap whenever you go down the stairs.

Your future self is desperately wishing you would do something right now.

It took me way too long to realize that the numbers on my toaster are minutes, not “degrees of toastedness”

Apple should have named their device chargers ‘Apple Juice’