Aleister's Mommy ❤️

Tristian and I are doing okay. We fight a lot and it's mostly because I get irritated having to continually repeat myself and it feels like he makes no attempt to change or move forward. He just stays stuck. But, we're working on it. My brother and his gf visited this week. We missed them and I was really sad yesterday when they left. Ali loves them so much.

I really don't feel like things will be okay at the moment. I know they will be. I'm resilient as fuck and I do what needs to be done, especially for my son. But my partner and I fight a lot and I'm just sick of it. I love him so much and he loves me. But I feel like he doesn't listen to me, he can never own up to where he's fucking up and he says he'll do better but doesn't change the behavior. I don't know what to do anymore other than leave.

Just pumped, ate a honey crisp apple and drank some water. I am at peace today which is refreshing.

I swear I'm amazed by how much my body can handle. I birthed a whole ass human via C-section after being in labor for 33 hours, recovered while barely getting sleep and taking care of him, went back to work full time while still not getting much sleep, breastfeeding and pumping as well as having my first period in November which was insanely heavy and I can still smile at him every morning and feel pure love in my heart for him. It hasn't been easy, but it's worth it for me.

Motherhood is just being exhausted everyday until you die.

My first week of work is November 8th. I'm so nervous about it. My boss emailed me two days ago and I know that I'm now basically walking into a shitshow.