Spun Out

i can’t hang out tomorrow i’m too busy doing nothing alone sorry

people say folks with adhd struggle with "delayed rewards" aka long term goals and as such we tend to focus more on short term rewards. what they don't talk about is that at when we Do accomplish long term goals we don't actually feel anything proportionate to the amount of work we did to achieve it. In my head I suffered for a while and then money spontaneously appeared in my bank account.

"Don't you feel satisfied that your windows are so clean now?" It sucked and it sucked and now I don't care. I just remember the sucking.

Reblogging this again cuz I just finished an art piece that I spent months designing and then another four weeks actually making and it was one of best and most involved I've ever done and it will be given as an award to someone and on display in a few places. I should be really proud and delighted with the result but I'm just tired. People keep congratulating and complementing me but I feel like I don't deserve it cuz of how much I just wanted it done with. I have to make another two over the next two years which is amazing but I'm dreading them now in a sort of 'I have to hang out my laundry, empty the dishwasher and clean the whole house' vibe

The social attitude regarding age is consistently getting weirder. You’re not ‘pushing 30’ you’re just in your late 20s. 30 is not old and neither is 40 while I’m at it. Growing older is an enormous privilege and displaying that age is a gorgeous component of life. Spending your days trying to reverse that grace breeds an eternally wasted life.