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AnasAbdin
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One Nice Bug Per Day
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YOU ARE THE REASON
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@grindcoretirement
Mystic Tarot As if I hadn't tortured her enough at work, my co-worker Mary Rohrer was brave enough to endure a lengthy tarot card reading at Mystic Tarot in Wicker Park a few weeks back. To hear how miserable it is to work with me and whether or not a tarot card will allow Mary to have another child in 2016...recline, retire, and press play.
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Oak Park Psychic Studio Mr. Joe Carsello of Lasers and Fast and Shit joined me for a $30 six minute palm reading at Oak Park Psychic Studio at 6739 W North Ave in Oak Park a few weeks ago. To hear how rattling chains, a Big Gulp, praying in church, and a secret cleansing packet fit into the experience…recline, retire, and press play.
Readings By Maria Josh Snader joined me for the second psychic experience of 2015 at Readings by Maria at 2831 N Harlem Ave in Chicago's Montclare neighborhood. Maria was nice enough to let me sit in on the reading as long as I kept my ass on the bubble wrap that encased her couch. To hear about how she may or may not have changed Josh’s life...recline, retire, and press play.
Sara's Botanic Justin Wexler joined me for the first psychic experience of 2015 at Sara's Botanic at 6429 W Irving Park Rd in Chicago's Dunning neighborhood. Upon entering Sara quickly separated Justin and I into different rooms. Before revisiting Justin Sara was kind enough to spend 15 minutes with me talking about alley cats, measles, and high heels. To hear about her discussion with Justin...recline, retire, and press play.
All Six Betty and Nick's For the grand finale It's Betty and Nick's Six locations 666 Albany Park, Skokie, Berwyn, Old Irving, Cragin, Jefferson Haircuts, waxing, bleaching, fades Coloring, line ups, highlights, shaves CUT #1 - Albany with Ludwig Overall glad he explored Yet quietly strangled by a clipper cord Art and Science will retain his business CUT #2 - Bradley in Cragin Quite a long wait for a no cream shave Yet faster than Pete's barber man cave Pete's Barber Shop will retain his business CUT #3 - Berwyn with Paul With kids in tow he found his fade This Hair Cuttery patron now swayed Betty and Nick's Berwyn will retain its business! CUT #4 - Derek in Old Irving Halloween decorated...spider, ghost, witch A haircut done right at a flick of the switch Betty and Nick's Old Irving will retain its business! (when Derek is in town) CUT #5 - Jefferson Park with Scaccia His girlfriend, a hair stylist, awaited in horror After the cut she became a restorer Scaccia's girlfriend will...restore his business CUT #6 - Becky and John in Skokie A bustling beehive of snips and tips John content and Becky came to grips Betty and Nick's Skokie might see some more business from this wonderful couple And so... 25 years of low price cutz Some thought they were nutzz But B and N sure got gutzzz Still in biz kicking buttzzzz!!!! - Betty and Nick's (3400 W Montrose, Chicago, IL 60618)
- Betty and Nick's (4256 W Addison St, Chicago, IL 60641) - Betty and Nick's (6015 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60618) - Betty and Nick's (4110 W Oakton St, Skokie, IL 60076) - Betty and Nick's (5325 W. Fullerton Ave, Chicago, IL 60639) - Betty and Nick's (6617 W. Cermak Rd, Berwyn, IL 60502)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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The Man Behind the Kit The man behind the kit Has a right to style too And that's how Mustafa Settled on a new hairdo The location was on Montrose Named Elegant Beauty Salon Well dressed beauticians Waiting to go on Walls painted aqua Neon signs galore Buckets of hair products Gumballs on the floor With no wait to mention Our drummer sat for grooming Snip, snap, snip His style soon was blooming With several hairs removed Their dryer brought the heat Wayne’s World suck kut Could not even compete Last came the gel Slapped upon his head A little for the beard Once again for the head The man behind the kit Has a right to style too And that's how Mustafa Received a new hairdo - Elegant Beauty Salon (3812 W Montrose Ave, Chicago, IL 60618)
Andre and his $5 Shave Lawrence Avenue in Albany Park The haircut titan, the $5 shark Plenty to choose from Plenty to grace Today's quest...razor to face The guest of honor Mr. Andre Sporting sunglasses and a smile today We arrived at nine but no lights were on Was someone asleep in this salon? Thirty minutes later came a drowzy beautician Speaking few words showing little volition Yesterdays hair still sat on the floor The shave began as the television roared Andre held still for the razor was straight Admiring the work no need to translate I headed to the washroom with Andre in sight Voiding on instinct there was no light The pink streaks of cream had finally faded Alcohol applied yet gently cascaded Around each dip...chin, jaw, and lip Andre renewed with his facial strip The TV now glowed with formula one racing Showing no interest we quickened our pacing Now outside after paying and tipping Andre praised instead of ripping Our late, unkept, bumbling beautician I guess he found his facial magician - Mary's Beauty Salon (3804 W Lawrence Ave, Chicago, IL 60625)
John Benetti (DIY 1995 - 2014) Not since 95' had this man graced a salon Opting to use clippers or let it grow long This bastion of DIY Believer of self-discovery Was dragged into Auroras for a $5 recovery More than broom clean this shop shamed the bean Every reflection clear through each window and mirror Even more stunning - the staff machine running Through each cut, collection, and swift disinfection Benetti sat for his cut - pensive at first Would a $5 cut be better or worse? No talking, just cutting, the objective all clear Upon completion a new man appeared Seated amongst flowers he just looked so pretty His $5 dollar haircut was the best in the city? "I plan to come back" said Benetti with joy But how could this be, DIY's altar boy? As a retired grindcore failure I pleaded for him to rethink This was only a sabbatical not kool-aid to drink But Benetti took the bait, ate from the $5 plate And has gone back again since our last haircut date - Auroras Family Hair Salon (5759 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60634)
Brian's Five Dollar Haircut
Five dollar haircut the year of frugality Bringing friends outside salon normality Blistering cold, late February's toll Brought Brian Santostefano into haircut mode A man of the camera, cheery smiles, and chuckles Fan of the band with 1000 rubbing knuckles Albany Park, Lawrence Ave of note A five dollar haircut storefront bloat Starting out right with our initial duty Quizhpe’s Salon of five dollar beauty Colorful outside a streamer to boot Cash only inside focused and mute Pointing to a poster placed upon the wall Brian picked a haircut while sitting in a stall Limited English manning the shears Brian’s meager Spanish cost him some hairs The result was shorter than initially requested Though Brian seemed satisfied for the money invested A five dollar convert we may not have acquired Though Brian’s good sportsmanship shall be admired
- Quizhpe's Beauty Salon (3539 W Lawrence Ave, Chicago, IL 60625) - Want more pictures of this adventure? Click here!!!
Baby Built on Pie
We went for your first yummy When still in mommy's tummy Ravenswood's mainstay First Slice Cafe Chalkboard menu, Lillstreet venue Good vibe incubation on a Sunday afternoon Cherry slice Bargain price All I know is this You...my son...are a baby built on pie A little while later A Chicago pie freighter Fight for seat drama At the great Hoosier Mama Delicate, smooth, with whipping to sooth A banana cream salute on a Sunday afternoon Ordered twice Found a vice And what I learned was this You...my son...are a baby built on pie Several months down the road You received a zip code Your first pie, diner done Sam & George's, number one Mangled and tangled, you ate your cherry triangle A royal mess made on a Sunday afternoon Reached for more Of crumbs on floor And now you know it's true You...my son...are the baby built on pie
- First Slice Cafe (4401 N Ravenswood Ave, Chicago, IL 60640) - Hoosier Mama Pie Company (1618 W Chicago Ave, Chicago, IL 60622) - Sam & George's Restaurant (3000 N Lincoln Ave, Chicago, IL 60657)
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Completing the Bakers Square
Likely never before has one walked through the door Of not one Bakers Square but a whopping four All in the same day, all in the same way Order…taste…tip...pay When showing four Squares your love Your route must make a square from above And when tackling four you must be joined by more To share the struggle in this massive chore So that's where Rich, a softhearted stitch Came into the picture to help taste each dish Rogers Park the first corner to our square Brought pumpkin pie for a nominal fare “Edible plumbing caulk!” Rich belched upon leaving I left more quietly fearing a beating Onwards to Wilmette a playground of wealth We sat for more sugar to threaten our health We both went traditional and somewhat nutritional Opting for apple with ice cream additional Rich was content leaving no crumbs to trace A minimal pie done well at this place Shooting off west our stomachs felt queasy We arrived in Niles and parking was easy A blueberry crumble arrived warm and quickly We admired the colors but still felt sickly Fork into mouth and fruit into throat “This is the one”, Rich had to gloat In protest I stammered “I think you are…mistaken” But Rich stood firm not to be shaken Back in the car south towards Bryn Mawr We continued our journey of pie below par The Square was cozy in quaint Norwood Park It perked us up, provided a spark We went bananas and whipped through the cream Of a great pie which we downed as a team With all four sides of our square complete Rich popped an ollie just off the street We went home to our toilets and grumbled for days Four Squares in three hours can bring on malaise
- Bakers Square (7131 North Western Avenue, Chicago, IL 60645) - Bakers Square (200 Skokie Boulevard, Wilmette, IL 60091) - Bakers Square (8584 West Dempster Street, Niles, IL 60714) - Bakers Square (5220 North Harlem Avenue, Chicago, IL 60656)
Plagued By South Side Pie
Albany Park pick up with carMax Pontiac Vibe For two gentle bringers pie was top of mind Pulaski to 90 to 75th st No North side love we were tired of that shit In Chicago media's crime dystopia we came for our first slice The place - Brown Sugar Bakery - these ladies shook our world view Treated like family Hugged and loved Special "lasered" sweet potato pie delivered a shiver Munching away at Lupe Fiasco's favorite slice We rewound on what made this experience so nice Onwards to Beverly, into to Jimmy Jamm A sweet potato bakery espoused by Mancow Plain, honey cream, pecan, sugar free White tableclothes, no coffee, healthy green tea All that twas required was the traditional slice As all other creations met our long contemplations Next to Maria's Package lie our final stop Bridgeport's Pleasant House cuddled us in to their final 3 seats One slice available, one slice it was Banana, toffee, homemade whip, delicate, subtle, possibly too hip Maybe marred by our first stops charm And so it became this... Pleasant was pleasant Plain Jimmy Jamm's jammed But for the ultimate South side Chi pie Take a ride for a Brown Sugar high
Plague Bringer "Wounded Paw" by Plague Bringer
- Brown Sugar Bakery (328 E 75th St, Chicago, IL 60619) - Jimmy Jamm Sweet Potato Pies (1844 W 95th St, Chicago, IL 60643) - Pleasant House Bakery (964 W 31st St, Chicago, IL 60608)
Sweets With Sweet Talk
Pie with bands sounded like fun Sweet Talk agreed and thus we begun Arriving in Avondale I unlocked my door 3 gentlemen entered and then we were four Our first location a south side fixation Soul Vegetarian deserves standing ovation Pretentious nor stuffy, the experience was choice The sweet potato pie brought forth rejoice Heading back North to end our day We grabbed a booth at Pick Me Up Cafe Apple, blueberry, and chocolate mousse All were fine but nothing let loose Driving back home, we chatted about shows Tales from yesteryear, the cons and pros Sweet Talk is tight, they’re upstanding dudes Check out their music as this script concludes
Sweet Talk "With Friends Like You, Who Needs Friends" by Sweet Talk
- Soul Vegetarian (205 E 75th Street, Chicago, IL) - Pick Me Up Cafe (3408 N Clark St, Chicago, IL)
Theo K Pie Day 2012 a great doughnut ride In 2013 we move to pie My first compatriot an ethical chap Theo K...drum aristocrat Bang Bang first a Logan creation Their Super Bowl slice stirs pie provocation Multi layer goodness, decadent delights A true pie innovator, climbing to new heights From Logan to Wicker, Lovely came next Spacious and buzzing we were ready to test We searched for pie, down low up high But none was found, so we waved goodbye Sweet Mandy B's are final shop stop A bright colored carnival of solid pie plop Bulky and rich, peanut butter chiffon Filling and smooth, butter scotch pecan A wonderful outing, great conversation Theo is a jewel, a good vibration A solid start, to CHI pie adventure Come back soon, for our next venture
- Bang Bang Pie Shop (2051 N California Ave, Chicago, IL) - Lovely (1130 N Milwaukee Ave, Chicago, IL) - Sweet Mandy B's (1208 W Webster Ave, Chicago, IL)
Zdora the Doughnut Explorer J.zdora – friend, bandmate…a much needed thorn A Cobra Lounge cooking opinion storm Lacking sleep, for doughnut keep Zdora rose for my final sweep Doughnut Vault first – the line the worst Charming yet exhausting Pitiful chocolate frosting Buttermilk old fashioned the way to go Do-Rite next – Zdora waited and texted Devoid of spunk, heart, and zeal Doughnuts sized for a filling meal Boston crème, vanilla bean, nothing here to see Glazed and Infused – seemed oddly enthused Peppy help, made for Yelp, the product indeed audacious Red velvet, crème brulee, flavors quite inviting Another shop worth a stop for solid doughnut biting Bridgeport Bakery – the shop that ended my hunt The doughnuts rich, the price just right The service blunt, though still a delight Parking aplenty, no line to fight Ladies and gents, the bakery is tight! A fitting end to a dough filled year Sometimes the best lacks the illusion of care For Zdora knows best, what you see is what you get A Chicago treasure, made from Bridgeport sweat
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Eorl Southside Doughnut Whirl My friend Eorl, a seeker of truth Long hair, full beard, a doughnut sleuth Southside bound for fried IOU Destination Dat Donut long overdue We enter, we buy, we sit, we plan Every bite, every wipe, each moment we can One fritter, one glazed, both of us praised Delightful yet cheap, Dat is a treat Onwards we drove to continue our plight In search of fresh fried dough delight Impallaria Bakery was tested next With few goods left we stood perplexed Frosted chocolate our only choice Surprisingly rich, we both rejoiced With an owner so happy, pleasant, and kind Bridgeport's Impallaria is quite the find Finishing off our doughnut reserves We grabbed our racquets and practiced our serves Game...set...match
Nick Sick Northern Illinois Doughnut Trip Empty bellies with doughnut dreams We started early with Boston creams Doughboy Donuts supplied something edible The experience though was quite forgettable All Day Donuts a second blunder Even its book exchange a total bummer Vanilla frost, a poor choice indeed Dry, poisonous, just not our speed The third stop another bust Dandy Donuts denied doughnut lust Closed for holiday the signage read “Off to Harvard” Nick shrugged then led Harvard Donut, an ivy league shop Few will beat their doughnut crop Butternut glazed, apple n’ spice Havard’s nuts worth twice list price An hour later, our next thrill Honey Fluff in Carpentersville Beauty abound, we sat back Open our mouths…donut attack!!! Now feeling sick I turned to Nick He as well looked bloated and thick Country Donuts, our next destination Quite banal, no aberration With one last stop we grabbed our pops A palette cleanse between the food of cops Dimple donuts decided to close early Our trip ended, fattened and surly