My role at the function is to lean on the table and look like a dying dog to bring the mood down of everyone else present

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

Ok but why are the suckers and losers trying to kill me today

[the most low energy you have ever seen me] we’re about to go crazy mode

“no one is asking for open borders” i am actually

Good morning 25+ nation old bitches winning

i am going to consider cranking it

you have to read to your kids you have to read with your kids you have to read in front of your kids you have to take your kids to the library you have to talk about books with your kids you have to let your kids read books that are a little difficult or scary you have to teach your kids to love reading

Btw if people keep telling you to stretch but never told you how to actually do it right you're supposed to go slower than you think & just hold it until you feel the muscle relax. Like how anal works

Also the muscle that goes up to your temples and gives you headaches is the same as the one that clenches your jaw & it goes down the sides of your neck so stretching your neck helps with headaches and jaw tension. You can also massage it with a vibrator

Stretching as far as possible immediately is not the goal you just bend until it feels tight. It's not supposed to Hurt You Worse. It won't hurt if you're doing it right. Much like another activity

Many are saying "we're on the celibacy website these people don't know how anal works either" I know. That's my secret second lesson