THE GREATER MONSTER

@grimmbred​ ( ~? )

                                             ❛ have all th’ attitude y’ want   ——   you ain’t scarin’ me. ❜ 

            ❛   aw ,

              ❛  tell me, is it wrong to ask ?  curiosity doesn’t kill the cat.  ❜

         his eyes revealing neither sweet nor bitter, are two cold ornaments blended of gold and iron - one would say shows maliciousness in himself, but he would remain silent of it. his lips parting only spat out haunted words that would lead others to thinking he was   MAD   or better yet,   devilish.   but was he ever aware of this ? not even a single bit of an idea.   he was reckless. possibly even dumb when it came to things like this: thinking he was fit ? it was all a mind game. he was CURIOUS.  Salem obviously chose the other for a reason, whatever it may be- he TRUSTED her decision;  right of wrong.  stupid or smart.  against of for.  he RESPECTED her and there was not one moment he denied anything she decided, even if his lips wants to say otherwise. a brow raised, yellow eyes glancing beside him as he sees Nyx with a grin- only intriguing him more. — why ?  she seemed like a  SHOW OFF  ; or maybe it was her  NATURAL HABITAT  , whichever it was, it only caused him to grin slightly. 

          ❛   doesn’t it ?   ❜

                                cotton - coloured curls brush gentle against cheeks as she coyly tilts her crown in an act of childlike naiveté ,    as cheshire simper slips from delicate features in tandem to the inherent curious gleams within diamond pair ,   feigning the pondering of a possible truth behind twisted idiom     ❛   i could have sworn that goes differently   ❜

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN AUTUMN TRANSITIONS TO WINTER ?

                it becomes a memory  :   FLASHBACK TO THE BEGINNING ,   WHERE ONCE UPON A TIME ,   YOU WERE MEANT TO DIE .    death reigns in winter ,   in beauty   &   in deceit  ;   all white with snow   &   black with rot ,   a frost - bitten touch that once reached into your bird - boned chest to steal your soul ,   but you snapped   &   howled   &   ran   —   NOT TODAY   /   NOT TODAY !    you ,   a half - dying   /   half - dead thing found it easier to be all abomination than surrender to a higher power   //   refused to give it dominion against a dead thing because you never knew how to submit .    monster - made ,   feral feared  ;    tell me ,   do you remember being human ?

        only in the blur of your nightmares .    you dream of golden boys   &   silver girls ,   of the sun   &   a less broken moon ,   of jaws without bloody fangs   //   you dream of unconditional love ,   the unknown fantasy ,    &   how your heart aches for something you crushed into dust   //   you dream of houses built where man should not exist ,   &   how it all ends in fire   &   screams   &   desperation .    the ground opens up beneath you   &   you fall    &   fall    &   fall    &   the end never comes   —   THIS IS YOUR LIFE NOW

                it’s easier without a heart ,   without the weight   /   without the sentiment .    there’s less woe ,   less regret ,   less morals   —   the trigger becomes unstuck   &   the knife lighter to hold  ;   it’s less difficult to compose an orchestra of naught but their screams without the remorse .    see ,   life is a fascinating thing to something not quite alive   &   death is a fascinating thing to something not quite dead  ;   this is how to exist as something stuck somewhere between   —   YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO BE ANYTHING ELSE

        he teaches you how to be something different .   he doesn’t know it ,  you never realised it ,   but the change came when summer faded   &   the first leaf fell ,   when you met for the first time  :   you ,   a hazard under a new name ,   murderous agenda hidden behind sweet smile  ;   DEATH IS NOT AN OVERTLY DARK THING   (  NATURAL ,   INEVITABLE  )   BUT STILL YOU DO NOT BELONG HERE   —   the wind knows   /   the earth rebels ,   you brought winter with you too soon   //   &   him ,   a man too gentle   /   too kind for his own good .    by the end of the first meeting   (  formalities ,   a huntress on holiday becoming familiar with the village  ) ,   you think him naive   //   by the end of the first week ,   you reckon the world will one day tear him to pieces   //   by the end of the month ,   you’d tear apart anyone who’d try   //   by the end of the season ,   you see the sun in his smile  ;   it reaches out   &   touches warmth back into your heart ,   &   this time ,   you do not snap or  h o w l  or run   /   this time ,   you let yourself remember how it feels to be alive ,   instead of a cold ,   hollow ,   wretched thing

                it’s not an easy process ,   you understand .   your body rejects being real .    there’s too many years of decay to undo  :   ash that got stuck in your bloodstream when you burnt down bridges like a goddamn pyromanic   /   hellfire in your throat from when you swallowed the devil   /   demons in your lungs from when they stopped fitting into your stomach .    there’s an ache in your chest because your heart has been dormant too long ,   the beating hurts more than its worth   &   you consider tearing the bothersome thing out more times than you care to count .    you don’t .    you stay .    YOU SURVIVE .    it’s better because he’s there ,   but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt

         you are still healing   (  still stuck somewhere between ,   but this is different .    it’s not so dark anymore ,   it’s not so dreary   )   when the wind is more forthcoming   &   the earth stops trying to swallow you whole   (  they whisper maybes in your ear  :   you could belong here ,   you could stay  ) ,   when one day   /   one evening ,   as the moon climbs a star speckled sky ,   he surprises you with a dinner for two   —   he always surprises you .    you don’t think he ever realises how easy it is for him .    you think maybe it’s because he works from the heart ,   always from the heart ,   in ways that sets off something warm in your chest .    it’s supposed to be warm ,   you’re sure ,  but you’ve been cold too long ,   so that’s why it feels like  FIRE  instead  ;   always burning ,   all consuming   —   you don’t know what to call it ,  so you don’t

                he presents you a meal ,   heartfelt   &   whole ,   &   for the first time in years ,   you do not think of death   &   danger   &   an underlying threat .    you do not think of poison slipped into your drink or a potential ambush in waiting .     instead ,   you smile .    genuine   (  you’ve been doing more of that lately  ) .    soft at the edges    ❛   a bit of an understatement   ❜    gentle tease turns to something softer now ,   a half - whisper .    you look at him   &   still struggle to understand how he is not too good to be true   —   sometimes you’re scared of waking up   /   of finding out this was never real   /   of cursing a god you do not believe in ,   only for him to tell you ,   YOU DESERVE IT   —   the worst thing is ,   you would agree

        you swallow down the fear   —   it’s a side effect of caring ,   of living with a heart   —   &   the anxiety ,   &   you try not to think about how you’re even more scared of fucking this up   /   of him one day looking at you like everyone else does   —   with hatred ,   with scorn .    you  b r e a t h e   &   count   (  1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10  )   &   settle into a softer smile   —   right now ,   he’s here   /   right now is all that matters

                 ❛   ——   thank you   ❜