Gregnas-The-Grouch

Elizbeth belongs to @shadowchroma

"Did my little session of constructive criticism offend you? Good. If I were to try and please everyone, I would simply end up pleasing nobody at all. Friendships that are easy to make are easy to break... I may not have many. But the few friends I have, I cherish greatly."

"I agree. Genesect has no right being a Mythical. Especially if it's mass produced! Forgive me if I'm not mistaken, but this... specimen is one of Team Plasma's creations, no? As if humanity's fetish for resurrecting long extinct pokemon wasn't bad enough. They wanted to turn it into military hardware as well? Why? Is this thing really such a prominent hunter if they needed to upgrade it? And somehow, somehow, this was a flex on Team Rocket? I think I'd take the psychic powerhouse fetus any day of the week. Plus, bugs, disgusting as they are, do not need someone's help with adapting. Adapting is what they're good at. We already have an insect with a built in railcannon. Does Vikavolt ring a bell?"

"Manaphy is one of those Mythicals where you take one good look at it's cute, adorable face. Those sweet, innocent eyes and ask yourself, "Would I really hurt such a precious thing?" Yes. Yes I would. Aside from the decent pair of flippers on it, which I won't give it credit for because a Water type swimming well is like praising a Ghost pokemon for being dead! I don't like its power either. The ability to bond with anyone? No thank you. I don't care much for being gaslit into a friendship with a creature built like a pinched bean bag."

"As for Darkrai. I'll never understand the why people think this thing is so edgy. I mean look at it! The stick legs, the flowing white hair, the baby blue eyes! Is it because it causes nightmares? Maybe the problem here isn't that it causes nightmares. Maybe it's the fact that you're scared of those nightmares. Time to pull up your pants and be Darkrai's nightmare for once. What's it gonna do then, hide? Then again, maybe you shouldn't. If nobody was scared of that nerd, Cresselia would be out of a job."

"The crazy black crystal with the oversized hands? You know, it's one thing when Legendaries or Mythicals are known for the service they perform. At least I can tolerate that. The nosey HR people blessed by divinity. Obnoxious, but at least I can see why they get so annoying to begin with. Then we have the latter half. You. Yes, you! I thought Yemir was gluttonous. Get a little grumpy because you didn't take your Vitamin D supplements that day. Would be tolerable if your true form wasn't so narcissitic. Think you're tough because you have higher stats than God? Just wait until he stops using his pinky finger and uses his whole hand to squash you like the bug you are."

"I've dealt with Tapus before. The Fini in particularly rubs me the wrong way. Has that Resting Bitch face while also simultaneously judging me silently. No. You do not get to judge me. I'm the one who judges! Dense fog? Controls water? Invites terrible calamities on those it considers trespassers? Just a bootleg Kyogre trying to beauty-max. You're fooling no one!"

Bao: "Well the Landorus paying us a visit certainly did."

"Here we go, one of my favorites. Daddy's first child that got rebellious before being put into the time out corner. Yeah, suddenly the tales of the devil himself being caged because he threw a tantrum doesn't seem that menacing, does it? And you'd think it would have a better power than having domain over antimatter. Gravity would menace Palkia and Dialga a bit more, just saying. Somehow the one in my universe is even worse. Right hand man of Arceus, but still holds the label of Renegade Pokemon? Not much of a devil when you're God's pencil pusher."

"Now I might be a bit biased when it comes to judging Legendaries. Actually, no, that's a lie. I detest their very existence. But I did have to give Suicune credit where credit is due. It was a genuinely majestic looking creature, carrying such grace, such dignity... Which makes it all the funnier when it's somehow related to this Neanderthal. I suppose I'd look that miserable too if I was supposed to represent the purification of water, but ended up looking like the bubble from the backside of a bathing Tyrantrum in the community waterhole."

"Ah, yes, Shaymin. I've never much cared for those little Impidimps. Sure, they act all shy and innocent. Until they turn into their Sky Form. Suddenly they have the disposition of a greaser gang without any of the power or reputation to back it up. For all the good that'll do if you blow some snow on top of it. And even then, it's famous for... bringing a field of flowers from ruined lands. Not even crops or trees? Only Mythical thing about it is fronting on the monthly issue of Leavanny's Gardening!"

"Ultra Beasts aren't even... Fine, whatever. Those mutants are constantly making me question my perception on reality every day and I'm undead! There are many things that don't go together and a bug with muscles bigger than its head is one of them. I don't know what god was in charge of creating them or if Wheel was really just drunk one day and thought it would be funny. Probably got embarrassed afterwards and made Ultra Space so it could hide Buzzwole away like the menace it is. Plus I can't tell if the one's I met wanted to fight me or date me. I feel dirty just thinking about it."

Baozhai: "Yeah, you would like that, wouldn't you? Probably the most attention anyone has given you in the last five years."

So go ahead and send me a Legendary or Mythic and I'll have Baozhai do her best in making them feel more than a little self conscious about their species.

I have been studying anatomy quite a bit. So it's nice to see my efforts slowly paying off with time. I just hope I can nail that perfect mix of strength and feminine features better with time without veering too far in one direction or another. She does take pride as much in being a woman as she does a warrior.

But yeah, it has been forever since I last posted here. And since I wanted to make something fun out of my anatomy practice, I figured why not have a little joke?

You can also blame @dragons-and-art Even though she had absolutely nothing to do with it.