STARRY EYED DREAMER

HE FEELS LIKE HE WORKS ALL DAY. between being a freelance artist and all the responsibilities of being green lantern, there’s never a time for a break. days like this just make him feel alone lately --it’s valentine’s day and he has no one to share it with because his work keeps him on the run all day. this was exactly what ruined his relationship with jen --and every day it makes more sense why she left him.

and things with jen now were weird. not even because of how their relationship ended, but because of the fact that he proposed to her when she got back. and maybe right now he’s realizing what a dumb move that was but the impulsivity of it meant something. after losing her, none of the past mattered anymore --just the future. and now that’s what they have, the opportunity for a future like the one they were robbed of. 

undefinable as their relationship is, he finds himself dragged out of his brooding mood the minute he walks in the house and goes to his room. a goofy smile grows on his face when he sees her there, sheets strewn around her body. tossing his bag on the floor, he gets closer to his bed, putting his knee on the mattress so he can be closer to her. but his motions are cautious, like he’s testing the waters with her. 

MAYBE IT WASN’T LOVE. but it was something she hadn’t quite had. it was something new, something exciting. she never really understood the novelty of a movie date until some artist who made her watch anime with him offered it to her. maybe if she let him in it could be love, but that was a long battle after her romantic history.

❛ you’ll get over it. ❜   she grins.    ❛ anticipation is half the fun. so that’s why i’m going to keep talking about your valentine’s gift without telling you what it is. because i’m evil. ❜   she steals a few soft kisses,   ❛ does this mean we get to go out out? to a club? i get to show you off? ❜

THE MORE SHE TALKS, the more he realizes she’s been approaching him cautiously. maybe the guys in the past just hurt her in a way that made her wary of dating ever again. and it’s that moment that he realizes he wants to be someone safe to her, someone different than alex or remy who had hurt her so much before. 

MAYBE HE COULD BE THE FIRST boyfriend her brother didn’t make fun of her for. remy left her which was a laugh riot for pietro, and alex was… alex. she knew that there was a chance that the two could get along. which was a form of approval she wasn’t really sure she was looking for until she started dating… some guy.

she almost feels bad for what she’s about to do- but she knows her valentine’s day gift will pretty much put her in the clear for any wrongdoings she could possibly do in the near future.   ❛ if we do that now, it’ll make your gift less fun. ❜   she steals another kiss anyways.   ❛ … besides i really haven’t seen this one. ❜

IF HE COULD FREEZE HIMSELF IN THIS MOMENT forever he would. joking around with her, getting to open up to her even slightly...it’s peace. and maybe all the other guys in her life were too afraid to give it to her, but normalcy was a good fit on her.

MAYBE HE WAS WHAT SHE NEEDED. just a nice normal guy. he didn’t have to worry about paparazzi, he was an artist. they didn’t have an insight in his life, he didn’t have to worry about that. meanwhile every marriage lorna had was scrutinized. they were the reason terry gave her for not wanting to be public, which she thought was more of an excuse to not be seen with the emotional trainwreck that was lorna dane.

❛ i was usually just on set at his movies with a nanny! i had to watch dramas and period pieces being filmed, i didn’t get fun stuff like dirty dancing! ❜   she puts a hand to her head in a dramatic fashion. oh woe is her, she didn’t get to watch movies about… sexy dancing.   ❛ wow them? i’m more concerned about the hypothetical wowing each other after that. ❜

IT’S NICE TO SEE HER LIKE THIS, less refined and not worries about what the cameras think. he figures she doesn’t get this type of night too often, and that makes him want to give it to her even more. this simplicity, this normalcy...he could get used to this.

HE DIDN’T MAKE HER FEEL LIKE TERRY DID. maybe that was a good thing, considering how their “relationship” had ended both times. he was a safe option. kyle wasn’t going to cheat on her or leave her to elope with someone else. she liked knowing that, and she liked him. but maybe her view on love was just skewed now.

❛ no! and don’t make fun of me for it! i didn’t watch a lot of movies as a kid. ❜   a small smile grows on her face at the thought of kyle on a dance floor.   ❛ if we did that, i don’t think we’d be on the dance floor much longer after that. ❜

IN A WAY, SHE REMINDED HIM OF ALEX. the no nonsense attitude, the soft heart beneath the hard shell. and it was worth putting in the work to break through those defenses little by little --cause the girl underneath those layers of hurt is one heck of a knockout to be around. 

SHE COULD MAKE THIS WORK. she had to. she couldn’t go back to remy, the husband she actually liked, he left her. she really didn’t want to go back to alex. and terry… made her thoughts clear about being together officially. kyle was a good change of pace, and if she fucked up a relationship with a nice guy who worshipped the ground she walked on- maybe she deserves to be alone.

❛ that sounds nice. i’ve actually… never seen it before. ❜   she pulls the blanket around them and rests her head on his shoulder.   ❛ dirty dancing. i’ve seen secret life of pets unfortunately. ❜

OFTENTIMES IT FEELS LIKE SHE’S HOLDING BACK. either because she just doesn’t trust him yet or because someone else made her put walls up a long time ago. and the protective part of him wants to convince her to take those walls down and show her he’s different than whoever broke her heart before. 

MAYBE IT COULD WORK. plenty of celebrities dated non-famous people right? not having people know everything about her partner could be… nice for once. if they got serious enough to go public there’d still be a private part of their relationship. but how long before the papers got to him? lorna wasn’t worth that- even terry made that clear.

❛ that’s… very thoughtful, kyle. ❜   she steals a quick kiss and cuddles up next to him. maybe this could work. she could be normal with someone again, and he was a nice guy.   ❛ very romantic. consider me wooed. ❜

THIS FEELS SPECIAL and what’s more it feels real. he has to wonder if she ever dated guys who just had pizza in their apartment with her instead of parties at their big mansions. and instead of making him feel insecure, it makes him realize how grounded she is. he’s had a lot of heartbreak, and if her marital record was any proof, so has she. maybe the simplicity and normalcy was what she needed too. 

SHE APPRECIATED HOW DIFFERENT THEY WERE. she had grown up in the spotlight after her dad took her in, almost immediately following in his footsteps and being one of the most lovable kids on a sitcom. then going onto teen dramas and flicks before she finally started getting good roles. roles meant to be more than just the pretty girl. kyle brought a sense of… normalcy with him, which was something she hadn’t had since the last time her and terry were together. 

❛ think i only rated fourth in people actually. ❜   she teases. then he asks about her dating history. she should lie right? terry never wanted it to be official anyways. why ruin what could be a good thing over something that terry never wanted to be.    ❛ you’re special… and i’m glad you’re trying it with me. so what’s the plan for tonight? ❜

IT FEELS SURREAL ALMOST. to grow up and see from the peripheral someone who grew up beside you --but while she was starring in teen dramas and dating costars, his classmates were watching those shows and wishing they were dating her costars. and now he’s here, like he’s been picked up from his world and transported into hers. 

WHY WAS SHE DOING THIS? it was almost like she could feel something would go wrong between them. he was supposed to be working with her, that had never gone well in terms of relationships. alex… terry…remy… terry.

but maybe kyle would be different. he was new to this whole thing. so maybe there was a shot.

❛ well, that’s very nice of you… but i’m kinda hoping to be more than the hottest star on the planet with you. ❜ she gives his hand a kiss. ❛ i’m just a girl spending valentine’s day with a guy she thinks is very cute. ❜

IT FEELS LIKE THEY’RE FROM DIFFERENT WORLDS sometimes. she’s this larger than life, stunning woman and he’s just an artist from new york. and sometimes it seems like she has a past that torments her, like she’s put up a wall and hasn’t let anyone really inside since. and maybe he can relate...losing alex was just about the hardest thing he’s ever been through. but the idea of trying again seems nice.

WHEN HE FIRST GOT THE JOB to help design the poster for her next movie, he wasn’t expecting she’d actually like him let alone agree to go out with him. last month he had no money to his name and a shitty freelance job --now he’s got a great gig and dating a movie star. 

god he feels like he won the lottery. 

SHE NEVER UNDERSTOOD BULLYING, until she met kyle rayner. if they were in highschool she would’ve loved to shove him in a locker for naruto running– but she got stuck dressing up as goku and vegeta with him for halloween instead.      ❛ do i want to watch death note…? ❜     she pushes him in front of her so he led the way. it was his stupid idea to bring her along with on this paranormal adventure, he was getting killed by the demon first! … unless it came up behind them.         ❛ i am going to shake you so hard that your teeth fall out when we get out of here, kyle. ❜

she swats away at a cobweb as they walk into it.       ❛ can we please get this over with? this place is giving me the fuckin’ creeps. ❜      

SHE ALWAYS GETS THAT TONE WITH HIM, the kind of annoyed veneer that an older sister might show her annoying sibling. and sure, dealing with whatever this was wasn’t ideal, but it was preferable to dealing with the mess he’d made of his life lately --and besides, he didn’t want to be alone. ❛ BUT you do know we’re getting out of here. see? we’re not gonna die ❜

CAROL WAS AN ONLY CHILD, so why was it exactly that along the way she had adopted such a moron ( a well meaning kid, but still a moron) as her younger brother? she had to find a way to blame hal for that. at the rate that this night was going, she was going to need to drop kyle off at a church on her way home.

❛ y’know i thought you meant you wanted to watch death note or some other nerd shit when you asked to hang out– not bring me along to get murdered by demons with you! i have a cat to feed at home, kyle! think of frankie’s pudgy little face! ❜

ON SECOND THOUGHT, a night in front of the tv didn’t sound like a bad idea. but then again, he’s got a job to do and carol was an easy option for this particular task --he’s only now realizing he could have been clearer about that though.

“I never stopped loving you…but it’s not that easy to just jump back into what we had. We both made mistakes.” Jennie would rather not mention what those were but they both knew. “Do you understand what I’m trying to say, Kyle?”