greenmonsterscollarbones

I was thinking of ideas for side hustles when I realized I have the perfect idea IF there's a demand for it.

Basically my idea is that for $5 I'll talk to you as your favorite fictional character for a week. Not roleplay though, just straight up you are yourself and I'm playing a role, talking as if your character would, no breaking character. At the end of the week if you want to stop talking the character will come up with an excuse to not be able to to talk anymore they won't just ghost you. You could vent to this character, talk about the characters around them, ask them for help with homework, etc. There's no age restrictions I'd just prefer it not be super nsfw. I/the character would answer regularly.

This idea was originally intended for the turtles but I can do other characters too.

They all kinda smell like sewer so let's get that out of the way.

Raph smells like sweat and too too much cologne. No dedorant. Once he meets humans he gets insecure about his smell and over does the cologne. Probably showers semi-regularly though. Probably a cider scent.

He also doesn't wash his ass so you can smell that if you're close enough.

Mikey smells like grease and weed. Def smokes later in life to help with his adhd as soon as he discovers it and doesn't know how to cover the smell.

He also occasionally smells like piss. He does weird shit and doesn't like washing his clothes.

Will steal anyone's cologne or perfume as a "joke" so will smell different everyday.

Unlike Raph will wash his ass if he remembers

Leo smells the best. Showers twice a day. Dedorant, cologne both aqua reef scents. Lights incense and candles daily and kinda smells like them.

He also kinda smells like the tea he drinks sometimes.

Does his laundry often so doesn't smell like dirty clothes.

Donnie doesn't smell . . . bad. He uses cologne and dedorant regularly but will sometimes put off showers and brushing his teeth.

This results in overcompensating with cologne.

Uses more feminine or gender neutral scents cause he honestly doesn't care.

I'm sorry but his asshole is squeaky clean when he remembers to shower.

You'd constantly be worried about them peaking in on you.

Showers, masterbation, and shitting you're always worried they're watching you.

Mikey knows no boundaries and if you have a bathroom window he's going through it.

Donnie can go through any of your digital stuff at any time. He can see everything.

They can smell everything. They know when you're horny, when you're on your period, when you skip a shower, when you forget to brush your teeth. They smell all of that.

People will just assume you have zero friends.

They know humans are weak, but sometimes they forget how weak. They will make fun of you for sucking at physical activity, Raph especially.

They pick up on skills easily, so when you have a wide array of things you don't know how to do they be super surprised and try to teach you. They'll soon realize humans suck at everything.

Getting into the lair is WORK.

They're pretty sheltered and into their work so they quite literally live under a rock.

Most days there would be nothing to do with them. Especially Leo and Raph.

If you were in their dimension or friends with them you couldn't fangirl over them, that'd just be weird. You'd need a new interest.

You need to impress the rat sensei.

You need to.

If you slept over you'd kinda be sharing a room with all of them. There's no privacy with them.

They'd totally watch you while you're walking on the street and you wouldn't know when, so you'd just constantly be acting like someone was watching hoping not to drop something or fall or have a wedgie that needs to be picked.

Can't really have any romantic partners over, I mean you can, but there's always the worry that they'll peak or come in through your balcony not knowing.

Splinter doesn't want them out all the time so unless you're going down there all the time you don't see them very much.

TRY NOT TO ACCIDENTALLY TALK ABOUT YOUR TURTLE BESTIES.

Id be so anxious about trying not to talk about them that I'd accidentally say something about them tbh.

I feel like things would accidentally turn into a competition with April. The guys will like her more no matter what, and whether or not you want to help with missions she's gonna be better than you.

I feel like I would accidentally hurt their feelings all the time because it'd probably be easy.

Talking about monsters or freaks is something you can't do. Don't get in an argument and accidentally call them that, they won't be your friends anymore.

They aren't actually sure of some of the chemicals that affect their 'skin' :/ so sometimes you'll accidentally give them something or refer something to them that'll be bad for their skin. You'll feel bad and they'll feel bad for telling you it was uncomfortable.

Leo

"Can't you take things seriously for two seconds y/n?" Leo yelled at you as you both entered the lair together.

"I'm sorry I can't be a prude 24/7 like you can." You respond heated. You had just gotten a little too playful while on patrol. It was all in good fun and usually he would joke around back at least a little. You didn't get what the big deal was this time.

"Don't even result to low insults. I shouldn't even have brought you, but wrong of me to think you could handle something as easy as patrol! That foot soldier could've gone home with your head!" Okay, maybe there was a reason he was a little more heated then usual. But it's not like you got hurt.

"It doesn't matter now. I'm fine. Just drop it." You turn around to find him inches away.

"You might not have been. If I wasn't watching you would've been dead. You need to get your head out of the clouds and pay attention to your surroundings!" He's towering above you now, looking you in the eyes as he rants. You try to back away but he just matches your movements.

"Oh my god, I'm not one of your brothers! I don't need a lecture! I wouldn't have even been in a situation where foot soldiers would be after me unless you were there, so why do I need to defend myself!" You continue backing up until your back hits the table.

"Are you saying we shouldn't be friends? Because maybe you're right! I am just a mutant freak right? Just a bore, a prude, a monster? What do you gain from being friends with me?" He spat. He retreated a little, hearing the hurt in his voice. You definitely stuck a cord.

"No, no Leo. I didn't mean it like that. I-" You sigh placing your hand on his jaw, "You're my favorite person on the planet, my best friend. I couldn't imagine a world without you dumbass. Don't be a cunt and take my words out of context because I didn't mean that."

From the look on his face you assumed he'd retort with an insult or another pity party but instead he grabbed your face in both hands. He looked you in the eyes before smashing his lips into yours. You were caught off guard at first but quickly grabbed his face and kissed him back.

He lifted you onto to table as he kept his lips interlocked with yours. Slowly you started laying yourself vertically. He noticed things were started to get heated and seperated himself from you.

"Do you . . uhhh. Would you like to take this into my room?"

Raph

[sorry this is me projecting a lil bit]

It wasn't supposed to turn into an argument. It wasn't supposed to turn into the "trauma olympics". You guys were just trying to relate to each other and talk about your problems like usual.

"Yer so selfish for sayin that ya know? You get to be up there, see people, do things, not having to worry about people seeing you and turning away screaming. Ya know what it feels like for people to see you and be terrified." Raph yelled at you from his bench. You started walking towards him as you defended yourself.

"I'm not saying that isn't hard. I could never fully understand how you feel. I'm just saying you have no idea what it's like up there. People are shitty. You have no idea what it's like not being a cis white straight man up there. I'd rather get to be in hiding with a wonderful family like you!" You got closer to him, like the closer you got the more he would comprehend your thought process.

"Ya I know people are shitty. I get to see it from the outside perspective! I've seen it all! I don't get to save everyone but Im expected to! That's so much weight on your shoulders, crime is happening everywhere and sometimes I can't even do the one thing I'm good for!" At this point he's just ranting angrily and you were going to do the same. Now your standing above him, just looking down at him barely.

"When you see it from the outside you don't feel the full affects. You can't throw a pity party about bad things happening to people because you think it's your 'duty' to save them. What if they have a family? What if they don't. This world is so shitty to be in when you have no one." You're on the verge of tears now, but it looks like he has been for awhile, "I have no one in New York. I miss my family. I miss having a troop of friends to help defend me from bullies or creeps."

He reaches up to you and pulls you into his lap.

"Hey bitch what about me." His voice sounds angry but his eyes look sorrowful. He brushes the hair out of your face, "You have me. I'll beat the shit outta anyone who tries to mess with you."

You don't even bother answering, instead you force you lips into his. He was being kinda romantic but he didn't expect this. Being too scared to seem shy about it, Raph grabs you and lays you on the bench, hovering himself over you. You push him back a little and look at him.

"So are we gonna do it on this bench or should we go to your bed." You giggled.

Donnie

"So sometimes all I am is your smart friend and sometimes I'm not smart enough? Is that it?" Donnie asked you as you turned away from him in the chair designated for you in his lab.

"No that's not why I didn't ask you to look at it. There was shit on that computer I didn't want you seeing." You responded.

"What like porn? Y/n we talk about porn all the time I don't care. And I already know all your personal information, we're best friends and you don't trust me enough?" You can't see him but it sounds like he's about to cry.

"It's just a dumb computer. So I got a dumb computer guy to fix it. It's not a big deal."

"Why are you avoiding my questions? What are you hiding? You're acting weird." He turned you in your chair. You had your knees in your chest and your face in your knees hiding yourself from him.

"I didn't want to bother you. I want to be the one person who doesn't have you constantly fix their problems." You said from under your arms.

"Y/n, you're the one person who's problems I'll always have time for." He uncrossed your arms and picked your face up out of it's hiding place, "Why are you so concerned about me finding your problems inconvenient?"

"Im- I'm not I guess. I just didn't want to bother you." You tried to avoid his gaze but he was looking you in the eyes and held your face towards his, "I know I could've gone to you, you just deserved a break from me. From everything to be honest."

"I never, ever want a break from you." Donnie tightens his grip on you as he speaks and his voice is shaking.

"Wha-?" Before you have time to respond he has his lips on yours. You kiss him back before he pulls away.

"I'm sorry I should've asked. Was that okay?" Donnie questioned as he moved his hands down to your shoulders. You look at him confused and a little angry that he pulled away. After moment of no one saying anything you pulled him in for another kiss. His lips moved at the same pace as yours as he kept moving his hands lower and lower until they were at your hips.

"Dude are you and y/n still mad at each other?" Mikey says busting into the lab, "Ohhhh obviously not. Okay I'll leave you two be, use protection!"

Mikey

Usually Mikey doesn't get mad, but this time he seemed really upset. He's looking at you with so much rage you're almost scared he might set on fire. What was extremely unsettling is that it was your dazzling, joyful best friend looking at you like this. But he deserved the little rant you gave him. Most of it wasn't directed towards him, it was about his brothers. They had all sent you past your breaking point.

"So you hate all of us." He said angrily, "Donnie is a know-it-all? Leo thinks he's the boss of you when he's not? I'm too clingy? And you just straight up hate Raph? No explanation you just hate him?"

"No, no. That's not what I meant I'm just in a bad mood, I've had a bad day." You try to calm him down.

"No that's what you said. You said and I quote, 'And don't get me started on Raph I fucking hate him.'" Mikey is starting to move away from where you're sitting on his bed, "If you hate us don't come here. Don't sit here and insult us!" He was starting to sound more sad than angry now.

"Look what I said about Donnie, Leo, and you were just grievances. I- it just all built up and I needed to let it out but I didn't mean them."

"I could understand that. But what about Raph? Why do you hate him?"

"Hate was a strong word to use. I don't hate him I just hate the way he acts. I hate the way he treats you sometimes." Since he's seemed to calm down you start shuffling towards him and put your hand on his shoulder.

"What's wrong with the way he treats me?" Mikey looked down at you.

"Well I just don't like the way he yells at you or insults you. And sometimes he'll hit you for no reason. I know you can take it and all but I still worry. I want you to be happy and I don't know, I worry about you."

"Thanks for thinking about me." Mikey hunched over so you were face level, "I worry about you too ya know."

"You do?"

"Of course Angelcakes." He hadn't called you that nickname since you first met, as soon as you became friends he started treating you like a bro. He bent over to you and gave you a quick peck. After he pulled away no one said anything so you pulled him back in and kisses him, like really kissed him this time. He kissed you back and before you knew it he had you flipped over on your back. He's hovering over you and you're making out now. He starts kissing your neck before pulling away.

"Raph's gonna get a kick outta this."