Guy Gardner is Disabled

green lantern office au. guy and hal are the reason hr and legal are the departments with the biggest budgets yet it still barely feels like enough

alan is the ceo of course which means this company is gonna go bankrupt in 5 months

This is unfair to Alan. Alan is also the reason the HR and Legal departments have the biggest budget but not enough money.

Regardless of what his actual job is, John makes sure their office building is the ugliest in the entire city.

guy gardner is the type to call his cock dickbuprofen AND to say tampons aren't needed when his dick is right there

We need to make every relevant character made by Liefeld some flavor of LGBT... we've already got like half of them come on guys

[ID: Text that reads: "In almost 50 years, DC has only had 10 Black ongoing series in its mainline continuity, with only 1 surpassing 50 issues, and not a single [title led by a] Black woman. They constantly blame sales, but they're playing a game with the deck stacked against us. This needs to stop," said James Portis III, also known as JPenumbra. /End ID.]

dc fans will give white characters extra melanin to justify not actually supporting non white characters

there’s something really comical about Guy Gardner’s dynamic with the Arrowfam in post crisis. He gets introduced to Ollie and Dinah, then later that night the power battery explodes in his face. He’s on the JLI with Dinah (and receives even more brain damage). He watches Ollie kill Hal. He hosts Ollie’s wake. Roy and Kyle hang out at warriors and sit at the bar so they can include Guy in their conversation. When Roy wants to have a sit down conversation with Guardian to discuss the entire clone thing? He does it at Warriors.

comics suck right now because no one wants to commit to a long term status quo in ongoings like omg who caresssss about the newest world ending event of the week or twenty issue mindblowing arc i don’t even know where the characters are living rn. i don’t know what they do in their day to day lives. i don’t know what civilians they hang out with

no because i think hal loooooooves a good bush, just not on himself. he looooves to bury his nose in carol's pubes while eating her out (and carol 100% washes her admittedly well kept bush with conditioner to keep it extra smooth). he looooooves to be deep in the jungle of guy's bush while guy's cock high fives the back of his throat. but when it comes to himself, he's hairless. completely hairless. the only times he "lets himself go" are when he's actively undergoing a mental health crisis. which means that parallax hal had an INSANE bush. just. insane.

I bring a very "cape comics, as a whole, tend to treat criminality and immorality as synonymous, even or especially when the protagonist hero is breaking the law, which speaks to wider social ideas about what it means to be a criminal (that quickly break down and become meaningless if you think about them for more than half a second)" vibe to the function that comicsblr seems unable to grasp because I used Batman as an often-relevant example.

a moment of mourning for all the female comic characters who; get nerfed with every reset, their origins changed at random whims, sexist outfit/personality changes, are constantly left out of fanart for their team (!!), are boiled down to simple girlfriends for male superheroes, and then after everything...are thrown aside because they aren't "marketable" enough

[ID: a digital illustration of jessica cruz from dc comics launching a blast of green light into the air. she’s standing in the center. nearly all of her features and the area around her is hidden by shadows, excluding the symbol on her chest, the light surrounding her, and the piercing glow of her eyes. End ID]

i PERSONALLY believe that Guy loves to be slapped around and dommed. like, proper degraded and talked down at. he could probably cum untouched if you spat on him. send post.