It was a fact no matter how deep into the ground she beat herself. Just as the Grailâs destruction had been orchestrated without her consent, without her approval, so too had the entirety of the War, as early as her summoning. Had she known what kind of man Emiya Kiritsugu was, things might have played out far differently. But other than the King of Heroes, none of the Servants called to that battlefield could truly prepare themselves for the hell they had been brought to the edge of before they were waist-deep â not even Rider.
Theirs wasnât forgiveness she anticipating earning so easily, if ever. And yet, their kindness had extended a hand out and took hold of hers. And in return, her fingers squeezed ever so gently. They had a mere glance at her pages and understood her so well, she would hope to be able to possess such a heart one day. âThank you, to both of you.
What you say is true â we were thrust into unfortunate circumstances, and nothing can be done to alter what was already determined in the past. But if thereâs anything I can do to help, you have my word that Iâll fight for it. Having those around you whom you care for so dearly, those who stand their ground to help you; thatâs a testament to the person you are. Not as King Arthurâs vessel â but Grayâ.
She followed the request with a nod; it was a promise that would take time to perfect practicing â a habit of centuries that needed breaking. But like the girl, there were people here who needed her to try and pull herself together. âFor the time being, Iâll maintain my distance from your mentor, until a day when he may feel comfortable seeing me. If that day never comes, that is fine â Iâd not wish to trouble him by opening old wounds. I ask you pass on my condolences for what that War took away from him. But also to commend him â we met only a few times, but he was always there by Riderâs side on the front-line. He survived a savage War and continued to walk a path he decided for himself. If heâs like us, he doesnât give himself enough credit for keeping the strength to pick himself up and carry onâ.
A second hand laid itself upon their union. âJust like you. Youâve a tremendous spirit to travel your own journey when so many saw you as someone else. I look forward to seeing where it takes you here, and know you have my support in every step you takeâ.
To that, I nodded. Nobody hated my mentor more than he hated himself, as if he took that as a personal creed and stuck to it. Iâve seen him grow, both in this city and in Chaldea... Heâs a lot stronger than he lets on, even before his union with Zhuge Liang.
I took a deep breath, and with one more squeeze I exhaled, letting her hand go. I already felt myself becoming tired, like I had run several marathons in a row without stopping. Overwhelmed, even.
âUm... thank you, for being so kind. To us, I... mean.â
It was a little refreshing, seeing her not as That King, but as another person.
âIf I could just live my life as an assistant, I would like that. Here, I can, it seems. I donât think the holy grail wars come here. So I donât want any honor, or glory... if I have to fight, itâs to keep the people I care about safe. But... ah... if called upon, um...â
[ What sheâs trying to say is that if youâre ever in a pinch, tap us in! ]
How much help I would be to someone with such power, I had no idea. Maybe she didnât even need help fighting--I donât think I could ever be on her level. Maybe I could help if sheâs too busy fighting other battles by taking care of her shopping lists, or making sure a companion came home safely. Or getting someone out of danger, if need be...
âIf... if you need it, per se.â
[ Or if you needâta go out and clear your head for a bit and walk around! ]
âI-I could do that.â