dont-delete-me.ko

dialogue prompts from chain-gang all-stars by nana kwame adjei-brenyah.

make them love a version of you.

if you can gather enough people into one voice, you can do anything.

ask for permission and you're giving them power.

everybody's looking for the same thing in a lot of different ways.

how do you feel right now? what's it like?

stoic as ever.

how'd you get into so much trouble?

you beautiful, heartless bitch.

talkative as always.

it's hard to forget the things that hurt you. you don't often forget the shape of your cage.

a good shave is a kind of love.

we all get good at crying quiet.

there's always more wicked, if you dig deep enough.

you'd be destroyed looking in the mirror, if you weren't already dead on the inside.

i hate what i am, but i love what i can do.

being near you makes me feel safe.

suck my dick, america.

if i go there tonight, i don't know if i'll come back.

christ still loves you, i'm sure.

the horror you make is yours forever.

who told you to go and do that?

you're too good ever to have any kind of worry.

why didn't you tell me when it happened?

i'm asking you to trust me.

i worry because someone has to.

i'm going away. i don't think i'm coming back.

i need some things to be for me and only me.

you're scared of what's new. you're scared of hidden intentions. you're scared of surprises.

it's not like you to be sloppy.

few things bring people closer together than killing as a pair.

i've been silent, but i've never been blind.

i didn't even vote for you.

i've died so many times now, i must be unkillable.

i went to hell and became an artist.

there is always, always a bottom you can't imagine.

it would be funny, if there weren't so much blood everywhere.

you're my emergency contact on everything.

i won't let them touch a hair on your head.

i don't care about you. i love you.

organization is life.

i didn't want to die, but i didn't want to be there.

if you remember your name, i think you'll be okay.

whoever holds the rod is always right.

don't be sorry. make ____ sorry.

everything seems slower than before.

don't hold back your hurt for me.

pain can disappear people.

what are you punishing yourself for?

use your personality. they'll love you.

do you think i'm a person that can be in the world? like, actually?

in a sick world, healthy is strange.

what were you dreaming about?

i don't guess. i know.

sometimes being a leader means carrying things alone.

if you don't have a code, you have nothing.

i didn't make the rules. they made me.

if not now, when?

don't tell me to relax.

be careful who you give your name to. you don't know how they're gonna use it.

what is said about you has power.

how's it feel to be home?

i've been angry for such a long time.

the thing we fear is already here. it's wrong not to try to do better.

literally everyone knows you're a lactose-free pescatarian.

breathe through it. you'll be okay.

i'm a talker. i always have been.

i did it because i could.

i wanted you to see who i was.

what i want for you is to see what you've done and forgive yourself.

forgive yourself. then you can start working on everybody else.

i tell you, and i can't un-tell you. you understand?

what do i have to be for you to trust me?

i thought being back would make me feel something, and it does, but not like i thought.

i feel like this place isn't my home.

if my mother were here, i would tell her to go to hell.

you've been very kind to me.

try to look at yourself and say 'i love you'. then see what happens.

you understand how i feel about you, right?

i don't know what this life is for, but i know it isn't nothing.

i'm happy i got to be part of your story.

it hurts, but it's still mine.

sometimes what hurts you is also what you need.

the bad news is, i forgive you. the good news is, i forgive you.

dialogue prompts from twin peaks: the return (2017).

i told them if anything happened to me, it was you who did it.

how can you ever love me after what i did?

do you find me attractive?

what do we care about what the government thinks about who we marry? are we going to invite them to the wedding?

i can't stop thinking about last night.

it's true. it's all over the news.

i could throw a car farther than i'd trust that rat fuck.

now i know how brando felt.

you fuck us once, shame on us. you fuck us twice, shame on you.

these days, the glow is dying. what will be in the darkness that remains?

watch and listen to the dream of time and space. it all comes out now, flowing like a river. that which is and is not.

i know there's been trouble in there. we've all heard it.

you're staying with me tonight, okay?

i didn't know it was a gun.

you found something, didn't you?

there's fire where you are going.

can i smoke in here?

but smoking's bad for you.

do you know how good a cigarette would taste with this coffee?

smoke 'em if you got 'em.

i'm in your corner, champ. knock 'em dead.

i wanted to see you again. i've thought of you every day.

i have my life back again.

were you here when they first came?

your room seems different.

i'm trying to tell you that you have to watch out. things can happen. something happened to me.

is somebody in the house?

it's a goddamn bad story, isn't it?

if you need any help --- if you need anything --- i want you to call, okay? i mean it. help of any kind.

sometimes i really worry about you.

we don't have time for torture. i'm hungry.

what's on your mind tonight? you know i'm gonna tell you what's on mine.

the ninth level of hell will welcome you.

what kind of shit are you?

if you went missing, would you want people finishing their fucking homework before they looked for you?

you are nothing but a spineless, no-balls loser.

what fucking crystal ball are you looking into?

when you didn't come home last night, i thought the worst.

looks like we got ourselves a new contestant here.

what do i get if i win?

hope there's no murders this weekend.

you know you're not supposed to come here.

i need to know a good poison i could use. undetectable.

it makes me sick just to look at you.

i haven't slept in weeks. i've vomited blood. i can't live like this. i only want to die or change.

sit your butt down. it's no good eating alone.

love doesn't always turn a profit.

i love your show so much. you have done so much for me.

do you like it? do you really like it?

i feel like i'm somewhere else. have you ever had that feeling?

it's like i'm somewhere else and somebody else.

i always feel like myself. it may not always be the best feeling.

i'm not sure who i am, but i'm not me.

who am i supposed to trust but myself? and i don't even know who i am.

i want to stay, and i want to go. i want to do both.

we are like the dreamer who dreams and then lives inside the dream. but who is the dreamer?

who do you think that is there?

what happened to us back there?

it's my birthday. you gotta tell me the story.

it wasn't meant to be polite.

do you really want to fuck with this?

call 911. we got a dead one at the bar.

nice sweater. where'd you lift that?

i've been a selfish bitch to you all these years, and you've been a saint.

true love is giving the other what makes them happy.

i'll have a cup of coffee. and a cyanide tablet.

i thought you told me you didn't have any family.

oh. it's you.

i don't have your number.

you got a death wish?

it's like all our dreams are coming true.

the old team together again. nothing can stop us.

you know about death. that it's just a change, not an end.

there's some fear in letting go.

remember what i told you. i can't say more over the phone.

you're such a whiner. it's like being with a sick dog.

i just never really saw you before, the way i'm seeing you now. it's like i'm meeting a different person. who are you?

you hear that bird this morning?

i came as soon as i heard.

i will not soon forget your kindness and decency.

move over. i'll drive.

you've made my heart so full.

you'll see me soon. i'll walk through that door and i'll be home for good.

you've gone soft in your old age.

if i disappear like the others, do everything you can to find me.

i know you understand, but i'm still sorry.

the past dictates the future.

[name]. the one and only.

do you remember everything?

i hope i see all of you again. every one of you.

see you at the curtain call.

is it you? is it really you?

once we cross, it could all be different.

please don't try to find me.

i don't recognize you anymore.

usually, somebody like you comes around, i tell 'em to fuck off.

i gotta get out of dodge. it's a long story.

i tried to keep a clean house. keep everything organized.

in those days, i was too young to know any better.

sorry to bother you so late at night.

dialogue prompts from poor deer: a novel by claire oshetsky.

enough of your pretty lies. it's time to tell the truth.

here, the boundary between the practical and the supernatural is razor-thin.

stop stalling. it's time to confess what you did.

don't go far.

time for you to go home, then.

i'll be very sad if you go to a better place without me.

what an old stick in the mud you are.

you're the same liar you've always been.

what are you staring at? go.

didn't you ever come to bed?

a nap will do you good.

you are full of surprises.

time moves sideways, through the most important moments of our lives.

it's been so long since i met any new people.

i don't know how to behave, or where to put my eyes.

i admire your panache.

you haven't been out of this room all day, have you?

run away. run straight home.

you ought not to be alone. please stay.

come here, funny bunny.

do you miss ____?

that was a wicked thing to say.

you are never to repeat that awful lie again.

i just want to shut my eyes and sleep forever.

i hadn't expected to meet you.

why are you so kind to me?

whenever i'm happy, something bad is sure to follow.

i don't understand you one bit.

my little changeling child.

you don't have a shred of compassion.

did your mother tell you that?

[name] isn't an angel. [name] is in the ground.

i will never think what those other people think about you.

please, dear. please look at me. i love you.

you know as well as i do what true memories feel like.

buck up. the worst is over.

do you understand what you did? do you even know what you've done?

you can't lie to me. you can't hide from the truth.

you'll be seeing me.

everything is always better in the morning. i promise.

everything is the same as it ever was.

cat got your tongue?

what you need is a good hug.

you're home now. you're safe.

the days kept happening. the world kept turning.

would you like to tell your story to me? i'd love to hear it.

you can be a remarkable little liar sometimes.

you're old enough to know heaven is just a pretty story, aren't you?

go home to your mother. your mother will know what to do.

some things are forever, and other things are never again.

you can't help me. i know that now.

this is my secret hideout. i made it.

what happened to you?

do you think you're being charming?

it looks like it's going to be just you and me, for the time being.

i think we should go on a little vacation somewhere special. just us two. what do you think?

i'm not asking your permission. i'll be back when i'm back.

any old fool can drive a car.

given enough faith, you can do the impossible. and don't you forget it.

you will change the world for the better, i know it.

can you tell me, please, how to get to [place]?

you once said i'd be the death of you, and you were right.

i've always imagined purgatory was the kind of place you could stumble into by accident.

will you ever let me try to make it up to you?

i've traveled this route before, in my dreams.

it couldn't have been ___ you saw. you must have seen somebody else.

i'm running out of time to find my happy ending.

did the light wake you?

you are the strangest girl i have ever met.

there is very little goodness or love in this story.

you never need to worry about ____, ever again.

your story isn't over yet.

are you my angel, or my devil?

you're still young. when you're my age, you'll understand.

you never can tell what a child will grow up to be.

i admire you for accepting life as it comes.

you're never coming back, are you?

i'm here. i'm not going anywhere. here is my hand.

is that you, out so early?

we're approaching the end of our necessary small talk.

i've come to ask for your forgiveness.

you're welcome to stay as long as you like.

somehow, that feels worse. he knows elliot doesn't mean for it to.

he's been spinning since he woke up and started wandering the house restlessly. had been feeling off since yesterday, or more like two days before that even, a see-sawing tilt into a hazy headspace. no one had really noticed. he'd tried to ignore it. he couldn't today. it made itself unignorable.

kerry leans forward and puts his mug down on the small table in front of the couch. despite himself, his left hand finds itself at his right wrist, worrying at the smoothly rounded edge of a thick gold cuff.

it's feeling more like it was a mistake to come here. that he should've chosen to keep driving or let the rayfield do it for him instead. elliot's allowing this, but the static at the edges of it all feels like a physical thing snaking whole body beneath his skin.

shit. that's what elliot doesn't say, because it's starting to fit something together in his mind—some sort of last refuge. which is maybe even halfway understandable, except for the part where that's not how he lives. he's the kind of person that tucks himself away into corners, as far away from people as possible. being seen like this would be almost unbearable. he'd go to—well, krista. and just about no one else.

he pauses for a minute. "i'm not trying to ask shitty questions or whatever, but do you have—i don't know, a therapist or something?" there's a decent chance this might piss kerry off enough that he just leaves, but it's about the only thing he can think of.

his gaze flickers towards the tiny kitchenette. sam's there, leaning against the counter, staring at them. head tilted. where's caine? he asks, which is really more rhetorical, because that's a good fucking question. where is the guy who elliot only ever half-sees on the fringes of things, who is consistently present but always out of the way? maybe it's about shame, which is what almost everything is about. pretty much everything anyone ever does is for two reasons: to gain control or to avoid feeling shame.

this isn't about control. if it was this would be a different conversation. so it has to be about shame.