Dead Inside (18+)

Your eyes darted about the front room of your flat eyeing the sweet little decorations your boyfriend had put up. Holographic bunting lined the walls meeting balloons in the corners. Candles sparkled, their flames sending rainbow lights reflecting of the bunting while the scent of fresh roses sweetened the air from the dinner table you sat at, waiting. You crossed your arms and closed your eyes trying to focus on the sounds coming from the kitchen but the gentle playlist your boyfriend had put on for you made it difficult to discern whatever he was doing. 

You played with the spoon in front of you, all that was left after Caelan's cooking tonight. Having delivered to you your favourite meal, home cooked, just the way he knew you secretly liked it. You were too proud to admit you always preferred his cooking because he would never let you in your kitchen again if you did. And sometimes you wanted access to the room that stored the knives.

The music dimmed slightly, getting quieter as Caelan controlled the speaker remotely from his phone. Your eyes snapped to the arch leading from your front room to the kitchen, Caelan's tall body blocking it as he carried two afternoon's worth of hard work. All for you.

"Happy birthday to you," he began to sing slowly walking towards you, eyes watching you, waiting for your reaction. "Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Y/N," he carried a beautiful baby blue cake, candles flickering at you as he did so and placed it down on the table on your place mat. A flustered smile etched its way across your face; you glanced up towards your boyfriend the corners of his own mouth pulling upwards into a smile.

"Happy birthday to you." He finished his gentle singing "Make a wish." He said. You peered at the cake, it was decorated with little blue berries and blackberries, piped with an intricate frosting pattern. What’s more is that the candles were arranged in a heart, you closed your eyes shut ready to make your wish. Pausing to imagine all the possibilities, you then blew across the blue surface of the cake, each candle extinguished. Caelan beamed wrapping an arm around you and pulled you into a long and hard kiss, grinning against your face the whole time.

"It looks delicious." You said in between Caelan's maiming of your lips. "Thank you."

"Anything for my baby." He said whispering as he pulled away, hand stroking through your hair. "It’s a three-layer vanilla sponge with black current and blackberry compote inside, all made from scratch. I even drove out to a farm to pick the black currents by hand."

"Wow," you said impressed, he sounded so proud which you couldn’t help find adorable. "That must have taken so long."

"It’s all worth it in the end for you. Besides, I don't half-ass things, you know that. Now you good with a spoon or you want a fork?" He asked, you nodded, a fork may be better for cake. 

Caelan returned to the kitchen to grab your fork, some plates and a knife to cut the cake with, raising the volume of his playlist once again as your favourite song came on. He returned shortly after, placing a ceramic plate down in front of you, fork balanced on top. He cut you a slice, dark black compote oozing from the edges of the cake as he did so. Plating it up he passed it to you before settling down in the chair opposite and plating his own slice of cake, all the while you waited for him to begin eating. 

"Is something wrong?" He asked noticing. 

You shook your head, "Waiting for you."

"Oh? That’s sweet, but I spent so long on this cake so don't keep it waiting." He teased you as he reached across the table towards your plate, carving a piece off from your cake with his fork and lifting it towards your mouth. "Go on baby, open your mouth for me." You rolled your eyes playing along and accepting the chunk of sweet-smelling cake into your mouth. "Good girl/boy." 

It tasted divine. Not too sweet, not too moist. Perfect. Your thoughts were visible on your face allowing Caelan full satisfaction as he dug another chunk of cake from your slice bringing it to your mouth. Abandoning his own he rested his chin on his other arm determined to fully enjoy serving you the cake he made entirely for you, resting his entire focus on your lips as you the licked the sweet and sticky compote from them. 

Alistair watched you from the bed with delight, as you stripped out of your bloody armour. You locked eyes with him begrudgingly have gotten used to him watching you like this. Always the same invasive stare, watching you all too often. It sent a shiver down your spine.

                   Today he was proud, having crashed one of your contracts. “You did well.” He said with a smile. “I was impressed. The way you slaughtered that man, it was as if the Dark God was guiding you by the hand.” You didn’t say anything, instead wiping flakes of dried blood from your forehead. Alistair’s smile dropped ever so slightly, he hated it when you ignored him. You continued to wipe the remnants of tonight’s assassination target from your face, sighing in frustration.

                    “I’m going to go bathe; I want to clean up from this.” You said at last gesturing frustratedly to the blood drying in your hair.

                    “Why the rush? Red is your colour you know. I enjoy seeing you covered in it.”

                    You scowled at him. “You’re disgusting.” You whispered the insult even though you knew it wouldn’t offend him, but still, you didn’t want to give him something to punish you over. Stepping over to a dresser you yanked open the drawer taking a towel and a fresh set of clothes to change into. However, before you could leave you felt for a small hard lump under your linen shirt. Relief washed over you, it was still there. Gently you fished a silver chain around from your neck checking to see if it was damaged, its circular pendent glinting at Alistair.

                    “What’s that?” He asked curious. It looked expensive and not something he had seen you wear before. “Did you take that from tonight’s victim?”

                    You shook your head. “No. This is mine; it’s just a good luck charm. I put it on for tonight’s contract.”

                    “Well let’s see.” He said reaching over the bed towards you however you stepped back, retracting the necklace into your hand protectively. “No!” You yelled, instantly regretting it as Alistair’s expression darkened, reading ‘what do you have to hide?’

                    “Sorry. It’s just fragile.” You said trying to avoid suspicion.

                    “If its fragile, why did you wear it out?”

                    “Like I said, it’s a good luck charm.” You tucked it back under your shirt. “I’m leaving now.”

                    It was Alistair’s turn to say nothing; he merely nodded his head. His dark fringe fell across his eyes obscuring them from you as you gave him one last look before leaving the room. He sat and chewed his lip, thinking. That was pretty damning of you, to do that. It was almost embarrassing just how panicked you were over a necklace. What was so dangerous about him holding it? What’s more you were a fool if you thought he would buy your excuse. If anything, you had just created for him a game he was determined to win.

Days past and Alistair never brought up the necklace, biding his time. It stayed on his mind though, and evidently yours as he glimpsed it around your neck in the evenings before bed. You would fall asleep with your hand protectively over it, as if you were afraid Alistair would pin you down and rip it from your neck. Of course, he had thought about doing so, but he ultimately decided that a stealthier approach would be wiser in the long run. He didn’t need to give you a reason to put your guard up or else making you his would only get a lot harder. Unfortunately for you he was a master of patience and could and would wait as long as he needed to before making his move. Low and behold a few weeks later, while reading a book on his bed, he glimpsed from his peripheral vision you locking something away in the bedside cabinet he had let you use as yours. Pocketing the key to the lock you announced you would be spending some time with your friend Vivienne. You exited closing the door behind you, keen to leave in case he tried to stop you or at least guilt trip you for leaving him alone. But this time Alistair did not mind you spending less time with him for your irritating friend when he knew you had left with nothing around your neck. He waited a few moments, continuing to read his book before closing it, satisfied that you were not coming back. Crawling over the bed to the small cabinet next to your pillow he smirked. You had taken the only key with you of course, but it was not like he couldn’t break a lock if he wanted to.

Within a short amount of time Alistair successfully picked the lock, pulling open the drawer to meet the mysterious pendent necklace up close. He delicately picked it up turning the silver stone in his fingers, feeling the roughness of a carving upon its surface. An engraving.

                    ‘Y/N. Have my protection, I will always love you.’

                    His fists tightened around the chain as he slammed the drawer impulsively. It was just a necklace is the first thing he told himself. But if that was true then why had you kept it from him all this time? Why had he had an instinct that it held a secret you wanted to prevent from him finding out? A looming green shadow was already beginning to wash over him like a sudden tidal wave, suddenly he was angry. Furious. No wonder you had wanted to keep it from him, outside relationships were forbidden and you knew that. He cursed your disobedience, the sting of betrayal cutting deep. Another? There was another who held you in their thoughts? Alistair stormed from his room, taking the necklace with him. He’d have no choice but to take drastic measures, after all he did not just desire to keep you to himself, he demanded it.

You returned later that evening to an empty room with a lone book left on the bed. You raised your brow as you closed the door, normally at this time of night Alistair would be waiting for you to join him in bed. In fact, you had rushed to get there in time. Worried that if you were late, it would mean another restless night with him, his arms squeezing around your waist possessively enough to steal some of the air form your lungs. You stripped from your clothes and put on a simple cotton night shirt, not forgetting to take the key to you beside cabinet out of your pocket. As you climbed into bed you felt something tickle your nose, realising you were about to sneeze you grabbed the key you had just put down. There was a handkerchief in the cabinet you had placed inside earlier, but as you inserted the key, sneeze approaching, you found when you went to turn it that it was already unlocked. Your heart stilled as your stomach dropped. At least your body was in such shock that the sneeze went away.

                    Shakily pulling over the cabinet drawer you looked inside. Your handkerchief, some stray gold coins and a small bottle of lavender serum were stored inside. Untouched. But that was all. You panicked jumping up, fingers scraping against the wooden drawer determined that you were wrong, a trick of the light. But the sinking feeling you felt only grew worse as you fully began to realise just how screwed you were, let alone horrified that it had been taken from you.

                    Your pendent necklace. The only thing you had that was wholly yours anymore, gone. And no doubt he took it from you.

                    You should have been angry really, enraged. How dare he? And yet the sinking feeling was pulling you down, the room spiralling around you as grief, worry and dread began to encircle you like vultures waiting for the inevitable fall out. Your only choice was to find it, before something bad happened. You quickly re-dressed yourself, albeit haphazardly, shirt not buttoned up all the way, trousers undone. You rushed from Alistair’s room, bolting down the long stone hallway searching for the eleven assassin, checking the dungeons, practice room, common room, kitchen and library. But he was nowhere to be found. You eventually headed outside to the stables, rounding the corner to where his beloved horse, Depraved, was stabled. But already Alistair had stormed off, with the only tangible remnant of your past in hand to do as he pleased with. You headed back inside searching out the one person who may know where he went, finding Alistair’s only true friend in the Sanctuary, Theodore practicing punches in the practice room.

                    “You know where Alistair went?” Theodore looked at you confused, assuming that if anyone would know Alistair’s location at all times, it would be you, since the two of you were virtually inseparable. Where one was the other was not far. Not exactly your choice.

                    “Not at all. I did see him storm off towards the stables an hour ago though. Why has something happened?” He asked grabbing a rag, wiping sweat from his face.

                    Through tight lips you sighed, “Never mind. Sorry I bothered you.”

                    “Wait Y/N! If he’s gone out, then it won’t be for long. Don’t forget tomorrow is our weekly communion to Idol and Alistair would never willingly miss that.”

                    You nodded knowing he was right. Less than twenty-four hours it was then until he came back to bring you hell. But you would have pushed aside your worry by then, ready to meet him head on and take back what was rightfully yours.

You slept alone that night for the first time a while, mind racing with all the possibilities of what you would say tomorrow when you confronted Alistair on his theft. The next morning you awoke and tended to your duties, patrolling the fort, head still sorting through all the words you had in store. When it finally got to eight O’clock the usual haunting bells that rang this time every week, began their toll through the sanctuary’s hallways. Calling all believers to the Dark God’s shrine, you resolved to hold yourself together until you could speak with him.

                    Arriving at the Sanctum, your fellow believers were already there: assassins, works men, oracles and the few Sentinels who weren’t currently on their own patrols all sat seated on stone pews while the Oracle Soren, leader of the weekly communion stood in front of Idol’s altar awaiting everyone to settle. You had taken a spot at the back corner, an entire pew to yourself. Your eyes scanning for familiar black hair and pointed pale ears. You checked the front row, Alistair’s usual seat where he could be closest to the imposing and towering sculpture that captured his God’s likeness. But your eyes met his favourite seat to see it vacant. As you searched you locked eyes with Theodore who had turned around, seemingly also having noted the lack of his best friend’s presence. He gave you a concerned frown before turning back around. The same feeling of worry welled up inside of you, fracturing your determination to stand your ground. Alistair was never absent. Thoroughly checking the room to see if you had missed him, you confirmed he not present at all, something that Soren seemed to also acknowledge as he stalled the commencement of his opening prayer to Idol. However eventually he pressed on, beginning to read through the fanatical scripture of the cult’s beliefs, reminding believers of who they were devout to. Just as he finished his opening prayer, awaiting for everyone to finish the blessing with their words of affirmation the door to the sanctum creaked open and everyone turned their heads to see the dark-haired elf walk in.

                    “Direct my blade where you will, Lord Idol I pray to thee.” Soren continued loudly as people quickly reasserted their attention to him, repeating the same words. You mumbled them, most of your attention on Alistair who sat down on the opposite side of the pew you were on. Noticing his mouth move ever so gently too. You noted that his signature topaz earing no longer hung from his right ear but as you stared his eyes flicked from beneath his black fringe to yours, piercing the confidence you had built up in anticipation. But unusually he did not hold his gaze for long, instead focusing on the statue in front, closing his eyes and mumbling a prayer that you could not hear.

                    The communion finished with the usual closing prayer from Soren who then released everyone to continue with their day, however as you stood up to leave Alistair remained sat waiting, blocking your path. You exhaled, wondering why he always got to choose the time and place of your arguments. However as everyone filed out and you waited awkwardly, Soren approached the two of you.

                    “I knew I would not have to embarrass you further and ask you to stay behind in front of everyone. I’m sure you have your explanation, but rules are rules and I nor Idol will tolerate tardiness on this occasion.” He was speaking directly to Alistair who looked ahead, focused on the statue. He nodded without a word. Sorren looked to you.

                    “Y/N along you go now, surely you have duties to attend to?” You nodded, mumbling an apology before squeezing past Alistair who was still sat in his seat. You hurried out the Sanctum as Sorren closed the doors behind you.

You paced the bedroom floor trying to claw back some of the confidence you had manifested earlier but only dread was left. Alistair no doubt was receiving punishment for his walking in late and that would do no favours for his mood. Now he was more than likely to take out all his irritation on you which could be detrimental to the safety of your prized pendent necklace. You checked an enchanted miniature sundial framed on the wall by the door. An impossible shadow shifted over the twelve. Midnight. And then you heard his footsteps slowly stagger towards the door. Alistair walked through towards you, his upper armour in hand, now bare chested, brow slick with sweat. You locked eyes again briefly before he threw his armour on a chair and ran his fingers through his hair, shutting and locking the door behind him. As he turned to do so you saw the fresh bloody wounds made by a repeated flogging, his penance for his lateness earlier. Instinctively you felt concerned for him, hearing him hiss as he stretched his back when moving, but you pushed those feelings away. You were mad at him, he deserved this. That’s what you told yourself.  As if he could hear your thoughts, he gave a half-hearted smirk as he turned back towards you.

                    “Yeah, I wouldn’t feel sorry for me either.”  You crossed your arms, turning away. He moved to the bed and sank into it, hissing again. “Either way I’ve delt with Soren’s punishments before, and he’s not the worst person to receive one from around here. Shame he uses an enchanted whip that hinders my regenerative abilities though. These lashes aren’t healing anytime soon.”

                    “Sort them out yourself.” You said through gritted teeth. “And give me back what you stole.”

                    “Jumping straight to the point?” You whipped your head to look at him, he sat on the bed covers leaning backwards on his arms, blood dripping down already staining the sheets. Despite his obvious pain he was still looking at you with the same predatory look that warned you not to try anything.

                    “Where is it?”

                    His fringe fell over his eyes obscuring them so you could only see a widening smirk, “I don’t know. Probably around some tavern wench’s neck by now.”

                    “What?” You yelled causing him to wince. “You had no right!”

                    “That’s not true, you know the rules. No outside relationships.”

                    You marched over to him without even being able to hold yourself back, the confidence you had been seeking reappearing now when you needed it most and smacked him across the face. The smirk fell from Alistair’s lips, his fringe shifting away from his eyes. He looked surprised, and he sat up straight, bringing a hand to his now red cheek.

                    “You call me your ‘love’ yet you know nothing about me, do you?”

                    “Ow.” He said raising his brow at you, taken aback by the fury on your face.

                    “That pendent you have taken from me was given to me by my late fiancé. It was one of the only possessions I arrived with at this sanctuary and you have stolen it from me and given it away. It was irreplaceable and I will never forgive you.”

                    You could see reflected across Alistair’s face was genuine shock, and if you weren’t blinded by fury you would even admit to recognizing speck of guilt. But that didn’t last long.

                    “I suppose I should say sorry, but if you hadn’t tried to hide from me that you wore another’s jewellery then perhaps, I wouldn’t have taken it under a false assumption.”

                    You moved to slap him again but this time he caught your hand, stopping you.  You wrenched free your hand, “I’ll go to our Lady for this, mark my words you had either better get it back or else.”

                    “Or else what?” He said. “You’ll request me to be flogged again? I can take it, whatever my mother throws at me. But no punishment will ever be enough for you, Y/N, that’s why I sold that damn pendent, to give you a bit of closure regardless of if your lover was dead or alive.” You balled your fists, what was he even talking about? He continued, “Whether you like it or not, whatever life you had before, whatever kind of person you were, its all gone. And now the last tie to that is too. It’s what you need if you wish to survive here. Remembering the oldprevents you from ever appreciating the new.” He said this ever so slightly puffing his chest out confidently, tilting his head up to try and capture sight of any affection you may have for him. Was he implying that he was a better replacement for your dead fiancé. You wanted to laugh but were caught off guard as he stood up and pushed past you to the chair that had his discarded armour on it. He reached into one of his pockets and pulled out a black velvet box.

                    “I hope you like it; I suffered thirty lashes for it since the jeweller made me wait so long.” Your hands released at your sides as he walked over to you ready to open the box and present its inside contents. “But I think it will be worth it in the end.” Alistair drew the lid open revealing a beautiful and intricate necklace adorned with a familiar topaz now in the shape of a heart. It had its own engraving reading, ‘My love’. Next to it sat a silver earing loop with a tiny fragment of the same topaz. You could not stop your mouth from parting ever so slightly, your mind telling you that it changed nothing, your eyes too startled by its impressive craftsmanship which you could not help but admire.

                    “Are you trying to buy my silence.” You said finally, ignoring the way the topaz shimmered.

                    “No.” Alistair shook his head. “I just thought you could use a better good luck charm, one that is not fragile or that ties you to someone you will never get to be with again. I cannot imagine the thought of them ever left you with anything but pain.”

                    “It’s not your choice to decide that for me.” You whispered. “Besides don’t pretend you took my necklace for any other reason than jealousy and a selfish need to possess me.” You smacked the box out of his hand and the necklace fell to the floor, the earing bouncing under the bed.

                    “That’s not fair.” He said sighing, bending down to pick up the jewellery.

                    “Isn’t it? Of course you’d think that! You wouldn’t understand what its like to have something so precious to you that the thought of it being gone practically kills you on the inside!” You regained your voice, yelling in his face. Surprisingly however Alistair remailed calm when usually he would be returning your anger tenfold.

                    Simply, he responded with “yes, I do.” And he held the necklace in his hand, gently tracing the topaz heart with his finger, eyes mournful. Suddenly you realised where his missing earing had gone. Or rather what had become of it. He moved to a nearby mirror and inserted the silver and topaz hoop into his ear. “One for me,” he said turning to you, hand outstretched, “one for you.” When you did not take it, he sighed, “You say I would not understand.” He held up the necklace letting it swing, “To understand what it’s like to have something so important to me that it wrecks my insides to imagine anyone else taking them-“

                    “What was your topaz earing that important to you as my pendant was me?” You rolled your eyes.

                    “It’s you!” He seethed, “You are what’s precious to me. I spend every day wanting nothing more than to hold you close to myheart. When you’re sent on a contract, I find myself wanting nothing more than to lock you away in my room to prevent anyone from harming you. Sorry I don’t attribute those feelings to an object when instead what kills me on the inside is the thought of you, a breathing person, being gone!”

                    You found yourself startled at his rather raw and honest outburst. Feeling raging fire inside you start to seem more driven by passion than hatred towards the eleven man opposite you. The kind of passion only two souls who were inextricably intertwined with one another had. You wondered if someone else had taken the pendent would you have already gone to the Lady by now to resolve it for you? Or had you waited for Alistair to return first with the intention of engaging in a heated argument, the likes of which no one else could give you?

                    “Ever since you arrived here my life has been a whirlwind of stress, fury, heartache, confusion and obsession. And yet I wouldn’t change that for anything else. You have become my good luck charm Y/N.” He said tailing off, embarrassment flushing his cheeks, unaccustomed to such vulnerable words.

                    You were so close to scoffing at him and yet something held you back. “If you could only get it back for me…”

                    “I sold it to a travelling merchant for two-hundred gold and then gave the money to a street orphan” He said, pulling something from his trouser pocket. “I even have the straw doll as proof. Kid gave it to me as a thank you. So unfortunately, it will already be in the hands of another and the money it made spent on a warm meal for a child who needs it.” And he passed to you the small doll, the kind children who lived on the streets made in order to sell and earn money for the food scraps that they lived off of.

                    “I don’t want to know how much it was worth” You whispered clutching the doll to your heart.

                    Alistair ducked his head, playing with the topaz heart in his hand, “I really thought you would like this. I mean when I found the pendent and read the inscription I will admit I was… unhappy. I kept thinking of how I would find the person who gave it to you but when I was walking the streets of the nearby town, arriving at a jewellers I realised how foolish I would be to not just admit how I really felt.”

                    “And what was this epiphany of feeling?”

                    He took your hand, gentle, slow and careful in his movements, pulling you towards him. “I don’t intend to replace anyone Y/N. Both because I am simply more than that but also because you must come to let go of your previous life all by yourself. I can’t force you to fully commit your soul to Idol. Coerce, pressure and push you to? Perhaps, but ultimately the choice to let go of your memories of a time where your hands were once clean comes down to you. I will not judge you for taking your time though, not when at the end of the day you still sleep by my side and look to me always first. That’s why you waited to argue with me instead of just going straight to The Lady in this matter. You’re taking your time to realise who you belong to, but you’re getting there. I’m just helping you along.”

                    You had no idea if he meant belonging to Idol or him and yet deep down a connection stirred. You still stood by your earlier words, that he had no right to sell your pendent and yet you knew he was correct. Slowly as time passed you were accepting the change of your character. Accepting that you once had a life completely different to how it is now. You had waited to confront him directly because that was how your life had to be led, Alistair had linked the two of you together with an invisible chain and you found yourself unable to ignore or avoid him. He got to you too much, enough that you had to protest the softer feelings you sometimes felt towards him whenever he wasn’t acting as the Reaper: fearful and a sadistic assassin. You might even soon accept that you liked him as him, Alistair. The elf who told you that he wouldn’t ever take back you coming into his life.

                    Ready to admit defeat he grabbed the forgotten black box and went to re-package the necklace when you stopped his hand turned around, sighing. “I’ll wear it, and I want you to remember that it was my choice to do so and not because I reciprocate your twisted feelings but because I truly believe you think I’m special to you, and that might just rub off as some sort of luck for me.” Alistair smiled, not a winning smirk but a real smile. He pushed the collar of your shirt out of the way and draped the necklace around your neck, fastening the clutch. Reservedly he placed a kiss on your cheek and let your collar settle back into place, hand reaching around to trace the heart that now sat on top of your ribs. You moved from his grasp, turning to the mirror and peered at the yellow jewel now fastened around your neck. You hoped whenever he saw it on you, he remembered that you had a past before him, and even if he had taken the last remnant of your previous life, you still once belonged to another that he desperately wished to replace. Even if he denied it.

                    But Alistair watched your reflection in the mirror as you studied the heart, satisfaction creeping up within him. It did not matter if you would hate him for some time over that little pendent, he’d earn your devotion eventually and you’d never cast your memory back to an old flame again. Besides, all that time that even resulted in a flogging, was worth it in the end. The time it took to enchant the necklace that was now locked around your neck was well spent. Soon you’d forget it was even there, as per the spell, and he’d always have a sure-fire way of tracking your whereabouts.

It was agreed to be three days until you were set loose upon the world. It was meant to be ten. But compromises had to be made with The Lady who wanted to avoid further delay in seeing your rank progress.

Two days had passed now, leaving just one.

 A strange feeling stirred within you as you studied the albino elf’s face as he stood scanning through the document that held the name of your unfortunate victim. You had spent almost every minute of the past two days together as he gave you a rapid crash course on your final trial to becoming a full-fledged assassin of the Dark God, Idol. In that short amount of time you had become slightly attached to the elf, who on the surface lead you with the same rigour as your previous mentor. Yet, only where the former had been easily provoked, the albino was calm.

There was something about Tar. That’s all you let yourself think for now, casting your mind to more pressing matters.

You had not seen Alistair since the night he had professed his feelings, of course you still debated the validity of such a confession. He had cleared out the following morning, busy with his own renewed freedom, no longer confined to the sanctuary or to you. You were sure there was a collective exhale from the whole sanctuary as the Reaper was released from the gates, taking his vice with him. You wondered if his quickness to return to killing would change things in a way, that maybe his long time spent under house arrest had made him stir-crazy and his obsession with you was all just delusion and boredom.

“Y/N, are you okay?” Your new mentor, Tar, asked snapping you from your daydream. “Have you memorised the details? You know you cannot take the writ with you on your trial.”

“Yes Crusader.” His name caught at the tip of your tongue, but you knew you could not utter it under circumstances such as this, it was too informal. He was currently your superior, not necessarily a friend. 

“Recite it to me.”

“A retired lecturer in the South City, seventy-two, human, five-foot three, silver hair, missing his left eye. Lives alone but occasionally houses a courtesan overnight. I should be wary of the eight dogs he keeps. I am requested to execute him within the hours of two AM and four AM and to not raise suspicion with the city watch. A skeleton key to his house is provided and I should stick strictly to dispatching the target and not create any other casualties. I will have ten days from tomorrow to execute him.”

“There is also the cellar entrance,” Tar encouraged, “Through the sewers, it is your safest point of entry. You can bypass his guard dogs through there.”

“I’m sorry.” You said bowing your head, “I must have forgot that.”

“It was not given information.” Tar smiled, “I had to cross-reference some older maps of the city’s sewer systems. But I still wanted you to know. He may be located in a busy part of the city but he’s old and weak, and his dogs are all he has left. I know you’ve completed assisted kills of a similar nature before so this should be nothing you cannot handle, if anything it will be an easy kill. Your biggest obstacle will be moving around unnoticed.”

Yes, there was something about Tar and the way he looked out for you. His smile was a wash of light that you felt revitalised from. His touch was cautious as he led you through the weapons that he had hand picked out for you, sending an electric buzz across your skin. Perhaps you were wrong, but you could swear had never once given another as much attention nor tenderness as you since he had been back. Even if it had only been a few days. Polite with everyone yet extra caring towards you. He pulled you close and took your hand, inspecting the bandage around your wrist, his fingers tracing where the scar from your arrow wound would be. Your breath stilled as you looked away afraid of the heat rising in your cheeks, embarrassed by how quickly you were taken by the slightest bit of tender affection.

“It’s healing well.” He said with a smile lowering your hand carefully.

“How can you tell?”

“You’ve stopped wincing in pain anytime I take your hand.”

“Oh.” You took a step back. “I guess I do feel much more recovered since a few days ago.” Don’t trust him, another’s voice rang out in your head. He wants to see you fail.

Tar tilted his head, his hand still touching yours with the ghost of a tightening grip, “I’m glad the pain is gone, hopefully all the bruises will fade soon too.”

“Right.” You said avoiding his gaze and shifting uncomfortable, your hand retracting from his. He was looking at your neck where the faint marks made from another’s mouth peeked out from under the collar of your armour.

“I’m sorry, have I made you uncomfortable?”

He always surprised you in ways like this. Perhaps that’s why you were starting to latch onto him, no one else had ever asked you if you were uncomfortable since you had arrived here almost four seasons ago. Tar was a senior member of this cult and yet only he seemed unafraid to acknowledge the brutality of it sometimes. Only with me is what you hoped. You shook your heard, offering a warm expression.

“That’s good. Those marks are from him, aren’t they? I’m not surprised that he doesn’t know how to be gentle, how to foster or protect. I’m sorry you had to endure him for so long.” You shook your head again and sighed, “I’d rather not be pitied.”

A small smirk pulled at his lips, “I don’t pity you; I admire you for surviving. Idol must be at your back considering how much willpower it would have taken to not strike back at him. Not that I would have blamed you.”

You tutted, “I don’t think speaking like this is appropriate.”

“I won’t tell on you.” He kept his playful smirk, making you nervous. He had created moments like these the past couple of days revealing a slight rebellious spirit in moments when he had you all on your own. When around anyone else he was the same orderly, aloof Crusader that you had met down in the caverns. And yet you were beginning to see it as all a mask that he was letting slip around you. It felt manipulative. And it made you wary; the same way Alistair made you feel on edge. And somehow, at the same time, you felt privileged that he was letting you get to know him so closely already. There was hope that it meant something. And for that little bond forming you ignored these problematic implications.

“I’m starting to sense that the two of you bring out the worst in each other.” You said, teasing him. Tar gave little away in response, however you could sense he was all for you becoming comfortable with him.  “So, what’s the history between the two of you? Alistair never spoke of you to me the whole time you were gone, and I doubt even now he’d tell me the truth of your quarrel.”

“I’m surprised that you have to ask, for a long time everyone’s favourite gossip was to whisper about the two of us.” Tar laughed. “But I suppose it’s hardly unusual he’d avoid talking about me. I can’t say I enjoy thinking about him either. But I’ll explain away the mystery for you, that way it will be the full truth, not the tail ends of twisted gossip.” He unsheathed the sword always attached to his side, the one with a sapphire hilt. And directed your gaze towards an inscription carved at the base of the blade.

For light, for glory, for the Empire.

“The Empire?” You asked.

Tar nodded, “The Western cities of elves. I was born and raised as a royal knight there. Before I realised I belonged to Idol I was a high commander of the Emperors army. I was the enemy.” He sheathed his sword, the only remnant of his previous life.

“The Lady let you… Keep that?” You asked gesturing to his weapon.

He nodded. “Idol asked me to slay the crown prince with it. He has let me keep it ever since, I think as a reminder of who I have given my soul to.”

You shuddered. The Dark God truly was cold. “And how does that make you and Alistair hate one another?”

“I told you. I was the enemy. Before I found myself here, I had slain a fair few other assassins, I promised myself to the God’s of Light and carried my blade in their name. I made it my mission to spread their message beyond the empire. Until I realised just how wrong I was I would have no doubt slaughtered anyone who proclaimed a false God, let alone one of murder. And of course, who was at the top of my hit list if not the Reaper himself.” He tutted, “He’s always been a thorn in my side long before we even met face to face.” Tar cast his head back, his expression irritated.

“So, what changed your life philosophy?” You asked, unable to understand how someone could have betrayed every single moral they had ever known.

“I had an epiphany about our world. I was led to believe anyone who was not on the path of my God’s was a deprived soul. And so, I had been killing them and sending them to their maker. Something I enjoyed. Immensely.” Tar’s gaze drifted away to somewhere else. He spoke in a way that was not unlike how Alistair would speak of his childhood and devotion to Idol. Just as subtly fanatical.

“And then I realised I was good at killing, and I wanted to it more. Yet the God’s of Light spoke against bloodshed while directing my blade towards the next victim they deemed forsaken. I realised then that nothing they said made sense. The spoke of peace and yet armed me with an instrument of violence. They proclaimed faith and yet punished good people with poverty and disease. They promised freedom but told me to hunt down anyone who strayed from their path. It was all just falsehood. And when I realised that, I just so happened to cross paths with a hand of Idol, one of his assassins. When I looked into their eyes, I saw little difference between them and I. Apparently at this time Idol spoke directly of me to Our Lady, as if he had looked through the eyes of his assassin and seen my world break. And then I of course appealed my soul to him. Unlike the others, he does not pretend to be false. He calls for me to kill because that is what he likes. And he accepts me as I am, someone who wants to kill because it is what I like. I don’t need any other ‘holy’ justification for it anymore. It’s taken quite a weight off my shoulders.” He sighed as if the topic of the conversation was as mundane as deciding an evening meal.

“It must have been awkward, arriving here with your past. And I bet Alistair was not keen on forgiving you for it?”

Tar nodded. “I had to prove myself to everyone else, but they soon accepted me and forgave me. But he never has. Of course, I do also think we’re just too different to get on as some people are. We mostly used to just exchange icy glances and small jabs at the other if we crossed paths but then I was appointed the rank of Crusader, something he had always coveted. Our relationship started to grow more heated. He resented me as his superior and acted out, creating mess after mess for the sanctuary that he would never bother to clean up. So, I started to resent him.”

He wants to see you fail. Because if you fail, I fail and he gets rid of me.

“Be honest.” You said, “Do you want to catch him out even now? Will you use me to do it?” Tar gave you a dark look, and it made you now completely certain his mask was off, you could believe whatever he was about to say.

“I think this Sanctuary could do without him. He’s self-serving and a liability to us all.”

“But isn’t he the most loyal to Idol? He’s only ever been utterly faithful to the Sanctuary with me. You even praised me for my training, that was all him!”

“Don’t defend him.” Tar snapped. “I’ve known him far longer than you. Alistair has always been a brat who throws violent tantrums when he can’t get his way. He only does what serves him best, I’m certain you’ve been nothing more than a vanity project for him. Give it time and you will see who he truly is.” He said causing you to step back, offended and socked. He noticed you stiffen and regretted his words. You were right, his rival really did bring the worst out of him. “For what it’s worth, I swear that I do not wish to see you fail, if anything I want you to succeed. But most of all,” He said taking a step closer to you, “I want you to grow beyond him. I think you can do it, that’s why Idol chose you like he did me. The two of us, we’re special.”

Whispering you crossed your arms, “I want to stay here. At the sanctuary. I don’t want to fail.” Tar nodded, meeting your eyes. He put his rival’s name out of his head and turned to the table behind him sporting several different weapons he had tested you on.

“We need to finalise your gear, I don’t want you getting to the target’s location unprepared. And after both my evaluation as well as your demonstration back down in the caverns, I have decided you are most proficient with a dagger and yet I think you’d be better off with two instead of one.” He handed you a pair of silver daggers with plain hilts, not unlike the ones used for training. “They’re a bit boring to look at but once you pass your trial your first pay will be more than enough to treat yourself to a new set of your own choice.” You took the pair, sheathing one while inspecting the blade of the other. “Or perhaps I can promise you a pair as a reward, something to look forward to on your triumphant return?”

“Favouritism is not approved of by Idol.” You said, “But I thank you for your offer, Crusader. I’ll take good care of these two.” One of you needed to remain careful, and to be honest you were unconvinced this may not be a part of some elaborate testing of your obedience.

“I wonder what you could do to me.” He whispered.

“Huh?”

His eyes adverted, “With the daggers.” He deflected, “I’ve been thinking how back down in the caverns, you could have done much more damage if you had been armed with double. I suppose I will see the answer soon enough.” He pushed you by the shoulders away from the training room and up the stairs, “Its late, go get some sleep, I will wake you myself tomorrow ready for your departure.” He handed you the writ with the details of your first independent contract and let you go as you nodded, bidding goodnight.

Don’t be foolish. Alistair’s voice whispered from inside your head.

Tar was never going to be just a friend, that was for certain.  

You headed back to yours and Alistair’s room to find it empty of life once again. You kept thinking about returning to your original bed, in the room you had shared with your friend Talon. And yet it seemed tedious to do so. All of your things were here now; it just seemed like a hassle that would create unnecessary conflict with the elven man who’s bed you shared. Better to just stay put for now. That’s what you told yourself at least. You crawled into bed early, being pardoned of any evening duties in order to give you time to rest. Although you knew you should not get used to such an entitlement, for once you were a regular at killing it would be expected that you waste no time in completing your orders. You blew out the bedside candle that flickered and closed your eyes, pulling the covers tight around you trying to create extra warmth. Had this room always been so cold? A draft blew across the empty bed space next to you, the second night it had been left alone. You supposed you had best get used to this now that Alistar was released from his rehabilitation of mentoring you, it was likely you would rarely cross paths now if he was always out fulfilling his role as Idol’s legendary master assassin. You sighed; there was an alien feeling of regret when thinking of him. No, not regret. You were missing him. Two days apart and you were missing him. You squeezed your eyes shut listening to silence, trying to forget his name for just a moment. Falling asleep you tried so hard to think of tomorrow and yet at every turn the black-haired elf, with his amethyst eyes crept into the corners of your dreams.

Tar roused you early the following morning, before sunrise. You were given time to wash, dress and eat a morning meal before heading out to the courtyard to depart from the sanctuary, all on your own. You had to pretend this would be the first time you had ever done so.

You wondered what Tar would have done if it had been him who caught you that night you had tried to escape. Would he have bent the rules for you like Alistair had? Would his punishment have been as harsh? You followed the albino elf, scanning the intricate embroidery of his doublet, the first time you had seen him out of armour. His sleeves pulled up at the arms to reveal faded scars raised against faint blue veins pronounced from defined muscle. You had to look away; you had been staring for a little too long.

Emerging into the courtyard you were joined by a small crowd of your fellow believers, friends actually. Fellow assassin Vivienne was there with a beaming smile, stood next to Theodore and Talon who encouraged you with their looks of promise that you would return the same way they did. The orc Sentinels Drua and Laeroth stood at the portcullis, awaiting to raise it for you. Wulfred, his wife and child stood with your leather armour refreshed, the twisted skull symbol staring at your proudly from the breastplate. They would help you to pack it away once you were ready to walk through the gate, it being safer to travel in civilian clothes. Finally, the Oracle Elesis opened the main door behind you, making way for The Lady to join your small party. And then that was it, everyone who wished to bid you goodbye, and good luck was present. You chose to ignore the way your heart dropped. The lady kissed your forehead and spoke a prayer for you as everyone gathered in a circle around you. Theodore patted you on the back reminding you to remember where the vitals were, Laeroth told you to think of Idol if you were in trouble while Vivienne pulled you into a hug.

“Remember there is always poison as a backup plan.” She giggled handing you a small vial with dark green liquid.

You smiled. “Thank you Vivienne.”

“You can even coat your weapon in it for extra potency.” She said, “Even if you don’t end up using it, just consider it a good luck charm from me.” And she squeezed you into another hug.

The sun was beginning to rise, and you needed to leave. You handed the contract writ back to Tar, and headed alone towards the stables, needing a moment alone before you said your final goodbye as a mere trainee of Idol. You headed into the small barn that housed the shared equine, looking for one of the two stable hands. You finally found the elder of the two, Lily, an older woman with long dark locs and golden eyes. She gave you a reassuring smile.

“At the back, there’s a Stallion ready just for you.”

“Thank you Lily.” You said, noticing an unusual nod when she had said ‘just for you’. The majority of the horses here were shared since they were bred with a special kind of dark magic to suit the needs of the assassins who rode them. There was a high price to pay to acquire ownership of your own personal horse, and it would take many, many, contracts to save up enough. Only three members of the sanctuary had been able to cover the cost, and it was their horses that were kept at the back where you had been directed towards. Tar’s, Elesis and his.

Alistair had his back to you, grooming a saddled brown stallion with a long sleek black mane. He was humming a gentle tune you recognized him having sung once before, while sharpening his blade when he thought you were asleep. Your pulse thundered in your ears, hairs standing up across your skin at seeing him. You grabbed the stable door and pulled it open letting it give a low creak causing him to break his focus and gently twist his head towards you.

He surprised you by smiling. “I hope you like him.”

“This is for me?” You whispered dumbfounded. “How did you- when did you?”

“I’m sorry I’ve not been around these past few days, but I wanted to be assured you would be travelling safe. I love all the horses we keep of course, but I would feel safer knowing you had your own, loyal entirely to you when travelling.”

“And here I was thinking you had abandoned me.” You said.               

Alistair looked away, his smile dropping, “I’m sorry.” he said catching you off guard, “I knew I wouldn’t be able to stomach watching you with him.” Venom dripped from him as he imagined his rival close with you. He needed to distract himself before he got angry. He changed the subject back to the large stallion who huffed towards you, sensing your inevitable bond. “Besides, I’ve wanted to get you your own horse for a while now, and our man who breeds and enchants our equine is a day’s travel away. Come on, let’s get you ready to go, he’s been waiting to meet you all night.”

Alistair helped you mount the horse allowing you to pet his mane, instantly he seemed to settle into your weight atop him and you noticed how easily he pulled in the direction you directed him to. As the three of you moved out past the stable door you passed Alistair’s own childhood horse, his mare Depraved. He had let you ride her before, in one of the first moments of gentleness he had ever exhibited in front of you towards another creature. You had learnt then and there that Alistair loved horses, more than he would ever let on. You remembered how once he had mentioned wanting to be a stable boy when growing up, and you realised how much calmer he always was when here was amongst the hay. The fact that he had gone out and bought you your own was suddenly revealing itself as the biggest gesture you had ever received from him if anyone. It did not even feel as if he was trying to buy your love, you knew he would never use a horse as a prop or bargaining tool. That’s not who he was. This was his way of being heartfelt.

“Don’t worry, when you return, I can teach you all the ways to care for him, or I can just tend him for you when I am out here with Depraved.”

“He needs a name.” You said keeping the horse slow as Alistair gently pet him from the side, clearly pleased with how naturally you had paired with him.

“That’s up to you.” He said.

You hummed for a moment, looking across the top of the of the elven man’s head, still taken by this move of generosity. “I think I shall name him Sower and think of you as I ride.”

“If you like.” He said with a chuckle. You arrived back in the courtyard and quickly curiosity towards the unfamiliar horse as well as Alistair’s sudden appearance created chatter amongst your farewell party.

“Which horse is that?” Drua asked eyeing the brown stallion up and down.

“I’m not sure.” The Lady said. Theodore turned his head to her before giving a bemused look at Alistair who had an uncontrolled smirk on his face, proud of himself. Realisation hit his best friend first.

“You didn’t!” He said shocked, everyone turned their heads confused until slowly realisation crept in. Even Tar looked ever so slightly shocked. “Alistair bought them a horse? How did you even afford that?”

“Yeah! You haven’t worked in a year.” Viviene yelled, jealous staring up in awe at the animal.

“Well unlike some people I don’t waste my money on tavern whores or excessive amounts of jewellery.” He said, landing the two in shame. Vivienne scowled at him while Theodore looked away embarrassed at being caught in his best friend’s firing line. The Lady broke the excitement up however as she clapped her hands together and with a single look signalled for the Sentinels to raise the portcullis and lower the draw bridge.

“I’ll be heading out on my own contract shortly, but I swear I will try and be here for you when you get back, okay?” Alistair whispered towards you, his hand reaching out for yours as it gripped the reigns, aware everyone was watching. You nodded in kindness.  Wulfred packed your armour in a bag attached to your saddle before Tar stepped forwards putting a hand to your waist to check you had the two daggers he had prescribed you. When he was satisfied, he passed the skeleton key you would need and bid you go forth. Pulling up the hood of your cloak you trotted out of the sanctuary, alone with the Dark God at your back. Everyone watched you go but it was the eyes of two eleven men that lingering on you longest.

“A horse. Really?” Tar whispered as most of the others dispersed. He gave a pointed look at his rival who stood next to him. Alistair had his arms crossed, pleased with how everything had played out.

“They looked magnificent, didn’t they? I had to find one as beautiful as them.” He said turning his head towards the albino. Tar rolled his eyes and headed back inside for his duties. All that remained outside was The Lady, stood enjoying the hints of the morning sun that was rising over the horizon. He thought about how you were lucky, the weather was going to be good for travel.

He turned to head towards the stables again when his mother called out. “Will you part soon? I know you have picked up a contract not that far away.” She raised her brow at him.

“I am heading out now. I wish to be here for when they return, something I cannot do if I take my time. Besides being stuck here with Tar will be torture.”

“Don’t forget respect for your superiors.” His mother chastised, “But I am glad you’re getting out, its time you moved forward once more as a hand of Idol.” She walked over to him and pulled him into a hug making him blush. He struggled to get out of her grip making her laugh. “Oh, my dear, you will always be my little boy first and foremost.”

“I’m a grown man.” He said checking to see if anyone was left to see. He would have died of embarrassment if you ever saw him being babied like that. His mother stroked his cheek.

“A grown man with a heart full of love. I’m proud to see you no longer walk alone. Keep them in your thoughts, hm?”

“I’ll try.” Alistair looked down, uncomfortable. The Lady notice and gently put her hand on his shoulder, sensing worry within him.

“They will survive. You know they’re strong, you forged them so. Tar hasn’t stolen them away that easily.” He shook his head, “I’m not worried about that.” His mother gave a curious expression, crossing her arms.

“I just worry that they won’t come back. Or if they do, they’ll be… hurt.”

“Y/N is a wonderful prodigy; they will have no trouble executing an old man in their bed. Have faith in them. They need only make sure they kill quickly, something you have taught them to do well.”

He sighed, nodding, “right.” The Lady rubbed him on the back and whispered,

“You know while external involvement in a trial is forbidden, it is acceptable for a mentor to keep observation of the prospective assassin so long as they don’t interfere with the contract. Tar won’t be departing the sanctuary for a while; I’ve given him a long list of tasks to catch up on. You however are free to take your time with your own contract. It’s not far from the South City I believe. Just be quick and unseen.” His mother left him with those words before re-entering the Sanctuary.

Six days had passed since you had left. It took only a day to navigate your way towards the South City and with the gold allocated to you, you purchased yourself a temporary one-week room in an inn near the city gate and quickly located the residence of your target. You spent the first three of days stalking the residence, trying to track the daily routine of its inhabitant inside. Your mark never left his house however, not even to walk his dogs. With little information on his habits, you spent the next three days planning your infiltration with as much faith as you could, when the return of the promised courtesan had made things difficult. You watched a beautiful woman, with blonde hair get out of a carriage one day and shyly slip inside your targets house. Seemingly afraid to be witnessed doing so. After that the candles behind the windows flickered all night, and it seemed that the two were doing anything but sleeping. It would be difficult to fulfil the terms of the contract if the target was never alone between the hours of two and four in the morning.

You remembered the writ Tar had given to you. No other casualties but the target were allowed.

You toyed with the vial of poison Vienne had given you, rolling back and forth across your palm, as you crouched in the sewer tunnel under his house. You had located the cellar entrance Tar mentioned and checking the key once found it easy to unlock the hidden entrance. Perhaps you could sneak in and use lavender serum to put the woman to sleep to give you time to execute your target. That way no rules would be broken. But no. That could backfire in numerous ways. Besides you had no more money to spend on a sleeping drought. You wondered if the poison would work on his dogs, and if that would break the rules of the contract but it seemed too great a risk to scout through the house looking for a way to feed it to them. You also felt guilty at the thought of harming the innocent creatures.

You had been given only ten days to complete this contract, and you were over halfway through, without even having put together a solid plan of how you would carry out your assassination. You were ashamed to admit you were much more unprepared for this than you thought. If only your mentor was here. He’d know what to do.

Which one? You thought. What would either Alistair or Tar do?

Silence amongst the rats. You were getting used to silence now with no one to make your choices for you. You stood up and ventured back out the sewers, back towards the inn you were lodging at. Tonight had to be it, you were getting sick of waiting and it seemed as though the circumstances of your contract had laid themselves out. A small pack of dogs and a harmless woman were your only barriers, and there were worse things to get in your way, best not give them time to do so. You made your way back to your squalid and cheap room, unlocking the chest at the bottom of your bed to reveal your daggers, you sheathed them to your belt. You could conjure your armour on when you arrived at your target’s house, this would keep you safe as you moved through the city still dressed in your civilian disguise. As nightfall came the streets thinned out as the city watch carried out their late patrols. Just before two AM, you inconspicuously took one of the various different sewer entrances, always using a different opening each time, checking to ensure you were not observed doing so. Once safely amongst the running waters of the city underneath you used the spell taught to you to conjure your armour onto your body. Having replaced the plain clothes you had been wearing, so that they now sat at the bottom of that locked chest all the way back in your lodging. Carefully you made your way back to your marks cellar entrance. Unlocking it you pushed open the grate and climbed the ladder finding yourself within a dark and dusty basement. The house was silent. You took a moment to get your bearings before investigating the room. It was mostly empty. You had expected food stores or old furniture at the very least, but it was a barren room save for a few broken crates covered in thick layers of dust. Strange. You carried yourself up the stairs to the only exit and listened out. No movement. Using your key, you unlocked the door, and slowly you were able to pull it open without any noise. Silence followed, as did the dark. Also, strange. You had observed there always to be light coming from the windows and yet the room was almost pitch black. At least your eyesight had improved immensely from Idol’s blessing, and it was hardly a hindrance to you. Creeping through the house you found yourself easily arrive at the top of the stairs of the upper level, still not sensing any movement or another’s presence. Had your target departed his house while you had journeyed through the sewers? That was not the worst-case scenario as you could easily find a place to hide and await his return. And yet something told you to doubt it. What’s more you were beginning to notice the lack of a dog’s presence, no bowls of food, nor fur not the stench often associated with the four-legged creatures. It was almost as if you had somehow gotten the wrong house. Nothing was as it seemed.

Still, you cautiously pressed on towards the furthest room at the end of the corridor, no doubt the master bedroom from your deductions of the house’s layout. The door had been left unlocked and so you quietly pushed it open, creeping across the floor to see your target sleeping peacefully in bed. He was old, with a deep and equally old wound across one of his eyes and silver hair. Yes, this was your victim.

Where was the woman? You peered around but there was no trace of her. No dogs either. Something felt wrong. This all felt too easy. You unsheathed just one of your twin daggers and silently moved to stand over your victim. Taking Vivienne’s poison, you coated your blade with it as an extra precaution. Then pointing it towards the old man’s neck you gave one lightning-fast slash watching blood spill out. The man’s eyes opened, he gasped and then crumbled. You took a step back. He was dead. You checked and made certain. You wiped your blade on a nearby handkerchief and tossed it on the floor before sheathing your dagger. Turning away you prepared for the possibility of his courtesan appearing, so you kept yourself as alert as you could while you began your escape. Yet as you reached the bedroom door a low creek echoed amongst the dark. Something had moved. You slowly turned your head to check that you had not knocked anything when you were seized by fear at what you found. The supposed to be dead old man, your victim, sat upright, staring at you with a blank stare. His skin was turning grey against the fresh blood that still poured from his neck wound. He screamed. Not a human scream. An animal’s scream. And then his body split into eight.

The dogs jumped out at you, only they were not simple guard dogs but rather gigantic, fanged wolves with glowing eyes. Nothing you would see out in the wild. They lurched at you as you swung open the bedroom door and bolted out as they gave chase. But it was not just them you had to dodge; the upstairs corridor and its contents lurched at you. Plates from a nearby table launched at your head, candelabras that now blazed with fire, were flung almost catching your sleeves. You dived dodging a table that flew across the air while all behind you monstrous howling pursued you relentlessly. All the while the corridor stretched, seemingly growing longer. The door to the stairs becoming almost unreachable. You curled your fists and screamed as you sensed one of the wolves jump at you. Hitting it in the neck with your fist, you stunned it enough to cause the room to shake and return to a normal size, allowing you to reach the exit.

You arrived at the stairs just as another of the dogs jumped at your back, biting down hard onto your arm and causing you to fall down the marble steps. You hissed as your body twisted. Expecting to fall and hear your body crack at the bottom, you were surprised to feel the sensation of falling stop. And then cold metal wrapped around you, chains holding you in place. It seemed your silver binds were replacements for the beasts that had pursued you, or perhaps they had re-fused together into your captor’s true body who now held you in her grasp.

“Poor excuse for an assassin.” A woman’s voice tutted.

“You? You’re-” You hissed feeling the chains tighten around your torso, squeezing with inhumane strength. Your target had all been a lie. This had been a set up. The supposed courtesan stood above you, young, beautiful and powerful. Magical energy radiated from her as she met your eye. A sorceress. And a powerful one. She noticed your reaction.

“What? Surprised? You murderous scum! Your Sanctuary was so easily tricked in accepting this ‘contract’. But don’t worry, it’s not all fallen on you to suffer alone, no, I’ll use your dead and empty body as a vessel to intercept your twisted cult and destroy it from within. You’ll be our little puppet.”

You closed your eyes preparing to meet your end, failure hurting more than her sorcery which had begun to squeeze all life out from you. You could feel your body beginning to pop under the pressure of her spell. Your eyes felt like they were about to bulge out from your skull. Until they did not. And a large blast of energy threw the woman above you down the stairs, causing her enchanted chains to vanish letting you drop down after her. However, you did not return to falling as another’s arms caught you pulling you safely away from the injured sorceress at the bottom of the stairs. She twitched and moaned before her body cracked as she attempted to heal herself.

“I knew it. I knew I was right. Here, your daggers won’t make much of a dent through her enchanted defences. Use mine, this is still your trial, and I can’t kill her for you.” His voice was firm and assertive in your ear, and it propelled you forward to take his blade, and finish your trial. His dagger in your right hand, your own in your left you descended the staircase as the sorceress looked up, grinning, eyes alight with the same glow as her dogs had shown. But with him at your back watching from above, you had no fear as you sliced her properly in two this time, decapitating her in record speed. Your dagger used to pin her dominant hand to the ground, preventing her from casting a spell. And Alistair’s dagger to deliver the final blow, splitting her in half. You stood frozen for a few seconds watching her blonde hair turn red as it mixed in the blood that flooded across the floor.

“Well done.” Alistair’s arms wrapped around you. It suddenly became so clear how he had earnt such a formidable reputation. How long had he been watching you? Not to mention how had he made his way here un-detected by both you and the sorceress? You wanted to yell at him for breaking all the rules, interference was forbidden, he had surely just signed both of your death warrants. And yet, relief washed over you.

Alistair had saved you.

You turned to meet him, letting yourself be comfortable in his embrace, and instinctively wrapped your own arms around his head, pulling him into a deep kiss. This was the only way you could communicate right now. You knew you had taken him by surprise, probably because he must have assumed your first true kiss would have been on his terms. But he gladly let you lead him into it, soaking in your breath. And then it became easy for him to let you pull him down, falling on top of him at the base of the stairs, lips still locked. He was utterly captured by you. Even if you were both caught for this, he would die happy knowing you had finally given into him. Even if it was just once. Idol’s wrath would be worth it all for this moment of reciprocation.

The warm blood of the sorceress soaked into his hair while smearing across your body as he pulled you tighter and tighter, not letting either of you come up for air long as you stayed fused together, deep within your first kiss.  

Finally, you had to pull away, feeling lightheaded. He took your chin in his hand sitting up and laughed shaking his head. “We’re in it together now.” He said hugging you. You felt dizzy as you rested your head on his shoulder.

“We’re so fucked.”

“Only if you tell on me.” He said.

“Idol will have seen.” You panicked. “I’ve still failed.”

“Did I kill her?” Alistair asked tensing slightly, trying to reassure you. “You fulfilled the contract even under false information. The target was slain by you, and no other conditions were broken.”

“I don’t understand what happened? Who was she?” You said looking up at him before meeting the vacant gaze of the corpse at your feet.

“A set up. We’ve been targeted and were following a fake contract in an attempt to trap one of us. This will need to be reported so Y/N you’re going to have to lie for the both of us and make it seem like you fought her off on your own.”

You nodded, swallowing. “She said something about an ‘us’, what did she mean?”

But Alistair needed not speak the answer when he knew he could show you instead. He crouched down, searching the woman’s body, pulling up her dress, scanning her skin. Eventually he found what he was looking for.

“These fuckers.” He hissed taking his dagger and carving into the woman’s flesh. You adverted your gaze gagging. He handed you a strip of bloody flesh imprinted with a blue mark in the shape of a bird’s wings. “Give this to my mother when you get back, say you fought her off and she mentioned something about ‘Flowers of Helen’. That’s what she meant by an ‘us’.

“Who are they?” You whispered. Shakily taking the woman’s skin from his hand.

“One of our many enemies. I hate to say it, but I doubt this will be the last run in you will have with them. They love to screw up our plans.” You nodded, pocketing the skin as Alistair stretched his muscles.

“What did you mean earlier when you said you ‘knew it’, and how did you even find me?”

“I’ve been observing you for the past few days, I never planned on interfering, but then I started to suspect something was wrong. I’ve read the contract before myself, and I still had no idea who this supposed man was. He’s retired and rich enough to live here? But his past was too unclear and aside from a ‘courtesan’ who comes and goes he never leaves his house. To be honest you must have noticed it was odd as well.”

“And you’re disappointed in me for not being cautious enough?” You asked, bowing your head grabbing onto the wall next to you feeling fatigue seep in.

“I know you could have done better. But that doesn’t mean I’m not proud of you either way. And besides, look,” Alistair whispered pulling you away from the wall. He pulled off one of your gloves to reveal a deep purple bruise lightening with immense speed. Your body was healing instantly again. “You’ve still succeeded. Idol has accepted you.” Alistair pulled you in for another kiss, this time you were slightly resistant. “It doesn’t matter what happened here tonight. You’ve passed your trial and now you belong fully to me. It’s all going to be okay now; we can be together. I love you.” He wiped a speck of blood away from your eye and pressed his forehead against yours. You pulled away from him abruptly. You may have kissed him moments ago, but you were not in love with him. You cast your mind to several days ago, the way he had coldly left you alone in a cavern to suffer or the many times he punished you with pain for some arbitrary offence. You still were not convinced what he felt was love. And the way he was speaking currently proved that. This was obsession.

Alistair shook his head disappointedly. “Please Y/N. Just accept it. Let yourself be tied to me, you know it’s inevitable. Idol has blessed us here tonight; he is okay with this, and I refuse to let you deny me for anyone or anything else. I promise that I will protect you from now on. I will worship you.”

“We should go Alistair.” You said stepping over the lifeless sorceress. “We cannot be seen and we should probably hurry from here before anything else bad happens.” The elf sighed, running his hand through his blood-soaked hair.

“Fine.” He said at last, pushing ahead of you to lead the way.

You were given strict instructions by Alistair of how to proceed once you had safely arrived back at your lodgings. He ordered you to wait a further three days, giving him time to complete his own contract and return before you. That way you would not arouse suspicion arriving within short time of each other. You spent the next few days locked in your room (paid for by Alistair) to rest and go over all the events that had transpired. Truthfully you appreciated the time to be alone and work through all your emotions in response to what had happened. You still couldn’t believe you had kissed him.

“Oh well.” You whispered to yourself on the last night of your stay having ran through that moment for the fiftieth time that day lone. You should sleep and try to enjoy the last night of having a bed to yourself.

The morning of the third day you left the key to your lodgings on the innkeeper’s bar and headed out, cloaked with your belongings. You picked up Sower from the city stables and mounted him beginning the day’s journey back up the mountains that lay on the horizon in the distance. The whole time you could feel your body had grown stronger, your control over your horse even greater. You could feel vibrations across the earth and hear the sounds of forest creatures that should have been too far away to make out. Everything about you had improved. Your senses heightened, your vigour increased and willpower boosted. Idol was leading you by the hand now, back home.

The portcullis and draw bridge opened for you all on its own, sensing the true blessing you now carried. You slipped seamlessly through the enchanted defences of the fort, vanishing through its barrier. Sower already knew where to go, heading straight to the stables. You climbed off his back and pulled him towards his own area of the barn, passing by Depraved as you did so. You were relieved to see the jet-black mare who puffed at you as you released your own horse from his saddle.

“Y/N!” A young man’s voice called. Porter the other stable hand and grandson of Lily bounded up to you. “You’re back! It’s so good to see you.” You smiled kindly at the young man, dusting yourself off as Sower began to enjoy some feed left out for him. “I can take care of your horse if you want to head in, everyone has been waiting for your return!” You nodded, thanking the young man.

The sanctuary doors felt lighter than before as you pushed through them. No one was around, but then you had arrived in the early evening, close to when dinner would be being served by Elesis. You trudged past the common room and sanctum, heading deep within the Sanctuary towards the offices. The Lady would need to see you first to confirm your success. When you knocked on the door of the oracles, Soren, one of the oldest men within your family opened. Upon meeting you he beamed with pride.

“Right this way, Y/N.” He directed you towards the back of the chamber to a room usually out of bounds. Knocking twice The Lady’s voice beckoned you in. Soren opened the door for you allowing you to proceed.

Upon seeing you enter she immediately could tell you were born again. She beamed with pride, rushing to hug you.

“A true believer. Death now is forever on your side.” Her hug was warm and caring; she stroked your hair with more affection than even your own parents had. You hated to admit it, but you were beginning to accept the love that was being given to you. Oh, how far you had come from when you had first awoken up in this cult.

You took the sorceress’ skin out from your pocket; it had started to wrinkle and decay and offered it to The Lady. You gave the speech Alistair had made you memorise as you debriefed her on what happened. She took the skin sample from you and nodded, telling you not to worry for now and that she would never let you find yourself in that position again.

Regardless of the truth behind your contract Idol still had now claimed you as his own, forever. That had to be acknowledged through celebrations.

The Lady lead you to the ceremonial chambers where you had first taken your blessing from Lord Idol, bell chimes following the two of you, calling all the other believers who resided within the Sanctuary. They all joined you, but not everyone you knew – some had embarked from the fort on their own duties while you had been away, notably Vivienne and Theodore were absent, but most were here to witness your return.

Alistair concealed his triumph, only giving you a pleased nod when he saw you standing next to his mother.

Tar gave no clear expression. But you could sense relief at seeing you safe and sound. You wondered what he would have to say about the false contract.

The gigantic grotesquerie of the Dark God, Idol loomed above you. But this time, under the shadow of his claws, you felt safe. Not at all scared. Your palm was split by your own dagger, once again. A repetition of before. Everyone bore witness as it healed itself within a matter of seconds.

You had been pulled to the common room for celebration; the commotion made you forget you were amongst skilled killers and not just at a local tavern with close friends. Questions were thrown towards you about your contract, how had you killed? Did they put up a fight? What was it like when you felt Idol’s true blessing cast upon you? Everyone chattered, passing around mugs of mead and wine. It all seemed normal. It was nice, to be their true equals.

You yawned as the enchanted sundial on the wall struck ten, stretching your limbs, feeling guilty having to excuse yourself. No one minded, the social gathering would continue long into the night as many of your fellow believers enjoyed the opportunity to let loose, appreciating you having given them the reason to do so. You trudged back through the long corridors within the sanctuary, navigating your way towards your room. Upon entering you were met with another’s presence, but not the one you expected. Tar sat on your side of the bed, reading through a slip of paper. The contract.

“Our Lady has informed me of what you encountered. I can only say I’m sorry you were put in that position, and yet,” he said standing up to face you, “I’m impressed you managed to defeat a sorceress all by yourself.” He gently took your hand and inspected it, keeping you close. Where there once had been a wound from an arrowhead, now there was nothing but perfectly healed skin. He smiled, satisfied at seeing it for himself. Taking your hand, he pressed it to his cheek. “I was right, you are special.”

“You should go.” You whispered ashamed that his praise for you was not as well deserved as he clearly believed it to be. “Tar please if Alistair sees you here-“

“You should say my name more often.” He pushed you against the door, pressing his body into yours while gently meeting your lips with his. The ghost of a kiss, not forceful or hard like Alistair’s. But barely there at all.

“This isn’t right. Not really. You hardly know me.” You whispered against his skin. “Or are you doing this to get at Alistair. Please don’t make me a prop in your rivalry.”

“I’m sure that’s what he’s made you think. I don’t blame you; I can’t say that after spending a year of my fucking life cleaning up his massacre that I’m not jealous he’s ended up happier than ever with someone so special. Perhaps I do want to steal you away.” He said stepping back, smirking. The cool steadiness of his voice covered for the manipulative look on his face. “Maybe I’ll kill him and keep you for myself.” He said calmly. It was terrifying. You backed into the door. “Afterall he’s given me the reason and power to. Gone and been as stupid as usual and dragged you into it with him. But don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me. I won’t let him ruin you.”

“What are you talking about?”

Tar took you by the shoulders, holding you in place. “For as someone as experienced as the Reaper it would only take a day or two to execute a contract barely thirty miles away and yet he sure did take his sweet time. I honestly assumed he was avoiding me. But then when you arrived back home you go and present The Lady with a cleanly cut strip of skin.  Upon which is a symbol you likely had never seen before since its forbidden here, and reciting an almost memorised story about the ‘Flowers of Helen’. Do you even know what that means?               

You shook your head. Unable to lie.

“I thought so.” He pulled you into a stiff embrace, stroking your back and sighed. “But I’m not mad. Idol has clearly given you his blessing regardless of if you carried out the execution of your target all by yourself or not. I just thought you ought to know that I’m no fool.”

“So, you’re not going to say anything?” You whispered your mouth having gone dry. Tar shook his head.

“Even if it meant finally plucking that thorn out from my side, it would be so wasteful to lose you. So, I’ll protect you Y/N. Free of charge.” Tar kissed you on your forehead, leaning into it enough for you to notice how much he was holding himself back from more. You wondered how long you would survive stuck between the two assassins from now on. Both equally unstable. Tar rubbed his thumb across your lips gently tugging at them before turning around and gesturing back towards your bed. You were about to blush at the insinuation when you noticed what he was looking at. A white lace box sat on the bed, labelled for you.

“Its no horse. But I hope you like them. And it’s not favouritism if it’s a well-deserved reward.” He passed you the box lifting the lid for you revealing a pair of beautiful silver daggers with skeletal hilts. Nestled underneath them was a small pouch creating a heavy bit of weight in your hands. That was no doubt a hefty amount of coin all for you. “Your payout.” He smiled. “I added some extra for the hassle you went through, promise me you wont spend it on anyone else though. Just yourself.” You mumbled a thank you, unable to meet his eye.

Tar could tell you were tired and so he gave you one final kiss on your head before saying his goodbye for the night. Leaving you alone you turned the daggers over and over in your hands feeling utterly screwed.

Alistair had stopped by the common room to look for you, but you had already left the gathering. He cursed himself for not keeping his eye on you, but he was not at all the sociable type and being stuck in a room of drunks was far too irritating for him handle. So instead, he spent the evening throwing punches at a training dummy. When he was finally done, and unable to locate you he headed back to your shared room hoping to find you there. But as he headed through the corridor, he crossed paths with the person he wanted to see least, knocking shoulders with him.

“Watch it.” Tar hissed as he continued on his way.

Alistair went to give a retort when he sudden dread gripped him. Where had Tar come from? His living quarters were nowhere near this part of the sanctuary.

“Shit.” Alistair bolted for his room. Barrelling in he saw you curled up on the bed; a strange box pushed to your side. Watching your chest rise and fall, it was clear you were sound asleep. He pushed the box away, glaring at the handwriting on the note. He wondered if you had let Tar in or if he had forced his way inside. Either way he would have to keep you close by from now on at all times. Alistair licked his lips as he pulled you close, his chest pressing into your back. Your eyes fluttered slightly, your sleep disturbed.

“Where have you been?” You asked while half asleep.

“Training. I didn’t want to ruin the atmosphere of your party. I hope you enjoyed it.” He pressed his lips to your forehead, hands rubbing your torso.

“What are you doing?” You asked waking up even more.

“Sorry, I’ll let you sleep.” He kept his arms locked around you as you slowly sat up, attempting to twist out from his grasp.

“Alistair let go of me.”

His eyes narrowed and he pulled you in even closer, tightening his grip, “No. You’re mine now.”

You wrenched free pushing him aside having had enough. “What is it with you and Tar? Am I just some play toy to squabble over? Both of you need to stop assuming you know my own affections.”

“You wound me.” Alistair had his hands raised protesting his defence, “When has he ever been in the running?” He asked both confused and outraged. Just what had happened between the two of you while he was busy, had Tar made a move on you? He looked over to the white lace box staring at the twin set of daggers feeling despair poison him. Suddenly he knew the extent of the threat he was up against. “I don’t get it. You kissed me.” He whispered. “You pushed down on top of me.” Your lips quivered as he held your stare. “I saved you. Not him. What will it take for you to see me? I’m your end Y/N. It’s us and Idol. Forget him.”

“Can’t you just let me be alone?”

“No way.” He shook his head, “You owe me for saving your life.”

“I owe you?” You asked indignant. “If you think-“

Alistair pushed you down on the bed, a hand over your mouth, he picked up one of the daggers and brandished it against your neck. “Have you forgotten just who you belong to my love? Or would you rather everyone knows that you cheated at your trial.” Your cry was muffled against his palm, but he delighted in it seeing fear creep across your face. He loved reminding you who was in control. You had ought to remember by now that Alistair was a wildcard, ruthless and savage. “What’s that?” He mocked pressing the dagger into your neck. “Oh right, if I expose you, I expose myself? Oh darling, I couldn’t care less. Afterall if I can’t have you, then no one can and I’ll gladly join you in death if you ever try to betray me. Understand?” He watched tears pool from your eyes, how long had it been since he had got to enjoy watching you cry. You nervously nodded your head sensing that there would be no way out from Alistair’s grasp alive if you did not just accept his ‘love’.

For now, at least.

Your body was stiff against his. His heart thundered. He retracted the dagger and set it neatly back in its box, where it would stay from now on.

“Y/N?” He asked gently pulling his hand away from your mouth, feeling it slick with the wetness of your tears, “Promise me you will never, ever, call him by his name again in front of me.”

“Who?” You stuttered.

Alistair gave you a glare. “You know who.”

He held you for the rest of the night as you sobbed into the bed covers, shaking ever so slightly. What was supposed to be his first night of bliss and true love with you had turned into another night of his mental torture. And yet you probably had no idea just how broken his own heart was. Just when he thought he had you all to himself, he discovered in fact that the despicable man he always had to compete with had leached his way into your mind and stolen a piece of it for himself. Competing with Tar for your affections? It was bad enough his rival had taken his position in the sanctuary previously but now he was after you. The thought sickened him. He would have to do everything in his power to destroy his rival. His grip around you tightened painfully. It was a familiar pain, not unlike the grip of the sorceress’ chains.

You were cold. Water dripped from stalactites that hung above you, their shadows jutting out like claws across the cavern walls, shifting within the ball of light Alistair had conjured to follow the two of you. You had been walking for a long time, your doeskin boots rubbing painfully against your feet as you shivered in your linens. Save for your dagger you were completely un-protected, as for some reason Alistair had asked you to free yourself of your armour for today’s training session. This was all he had said since you had woken up. Conversation had been light lately for he was still furious over your little escape attempt the week prior. You gathered at least that since he had let you sleep unchained from the bed the previous night that your various punishments were beginning to end.

You glanced over fading red indent marks from his nails, made from his needy touch as he dragged you down the long corridors towards the dungeons. He had spent the past week educating you on what it was like to be on the other side from him, giving a practical demonstration on a prisoner of what it looked like to become an enemy. The next day he had dragged you back down to the same filthy cell, a new prisoner tied up within. Alistair instructed you to enact the exact same techniques he had performed the day before, swearing that if you were unable to satisfy him with your performance that you’d have to find your own victim the next day to retry on. To make matters worse, once you were covered in blood and sweat, struggling to keep bile from escaping your mouth in disgust at the maimed corpse, created by your own hands, Alistair had disappeared. Having left you locked in the cell with the body for the rest of the day, not returning until the next morning.

And now you squeezed your eyes shut trying not to let the sounds of the victim’s screams come back again, tired from the lack of sleep where they haunted your dreams. Alistair had said that they were enemies of Idol, who would do the same to you if the roles were reversed and yet the guilt of the cruelty you had inflicted upon them was like a heavy chain that made it hard to walk. The following days you were stuck having to clean out all the blood and rot that festered in that cell, until fresh hay coated a dry floor free from rat droppings while the iron bars sparkled in the torch light.

You stumbled in the dim light of the cavern passage, accidentally pushing against Alistair’s back who was still escorting you everywhere by the arm. He turned around with a glare as you mumbled an apology. You still had no idea where he was taking you this time, having surprised you as he dragged you past the dungeons today. Instead, he led you towards the entrance of the caves that connected the main fort of the Sanctuary you lived within, to the mountain tunnels all around you. You felt his grip tighten around your wrist as he turned his head back towards the darkness ahead, unable to ignore the way his eyes lingered on your lips. It was always the same haunting expression of obsession, whenever he looked at you, the words my love balanced on the tip of his tongue ready to imprint upon you again and again.

And yet somehow since he had fallen for you, he only grew more and more sadistic.

“I know these tunnels like the back of my hand.” He said at last, breaking the silence that had followed since morning. “I will easily be able to hunt you down should you get any silly ideas while my back is turned.”

“Where are we going?” You asked wanting to take advantage of his attention.

“Down.”

Alistair soon led you away from the main path, through narrow cervices and into dusty and small cave chambers that seemed almost untouched by life, somehow still keeping his grip locked on you. Several of the tight gaps you had had to squeeze through seemed almost impossible, and you no doubt would have never even considered that they led anywhere. Eventually though he stopped at the entrance of a large and drafty chamber, the sound of dripping water echoing across the dark. Alistair let go of your arm, revealing the now permanent purple bruises from where he had gripped you so hard. Blood rushed back through to the tips of your fingers, you had not even realised just how numb your arm had gone. By now he had made you accustomed to his touch.

“Just along here.” He mumbled walking ahead of you, towards the sound of rushing water. You hurried after him not wanting to be alone in the dark, almost tripping over something hard. “Watch it.” Alistair said without even turning to look at you. “There are bones all around here.”

“What is this place, are we even near the sanctuary anymore?”

“We’re not far, close enough to not have technically left. In the mountain tunnels made by the old war lord who used to reside over this region. He used to release prisoners down here giving them a chance to escape before him and his men would hunt them down in the dark. All for sport.” His voice chilled you and you tried to focus on the sound of increasing rushing water. You turned a corner in the passageway to be greeted with a hint of natural light, moonlight shining down through cracks in the earths surface above, casting a faint glow onto a large waterfall splashing down into a large crystal-clear pool. Your breath audibly caught, it was beautiful. Alistair turned to look at you, holding back a smirk and wishing he had been able to bring you down here, one of his most sacred and secret places, for nicer reasons.

“Sit.” He said watching you shiver in a draft, water from above splashing down onto your forehead. He figured it must be raining heavily outside. You stumbled across uneven rock and perched on a boulder. “Stay.” He said before turning his back to you and heading back out the passage.

“Wait! Where are you going?” You shouted towards him standing up. He turned around and glowered at you, your lips trembling in the cold air.

“I told you to stay.”

You sank back down onto the boulder realising exactly what he meant. He was testing your obedience. Wait here for me like a good girl/boy, follow my every word. You knew if you dared move before he came back, you’d suffer greatly. You shivered having watched him disappear into the darkness taking his enchanted ball of light with him and leaving you in the faint moonlight. Every time you took a breath, cold air puffed from your mouth, when had the temperature dropped so intensely? You rubbed your bruised knuckles and wrists, worn out from his possessive touch. Dragging your fingers across your neck where the remnants of his marks upon your flesh were slowly fading, taking their time. Perhaps Idol’s blessing was on his side considering your ability to heal instantly from Alistair’s roughness was getting weaker and weaker. The two-day old love bites proof of that. You dropped your head embarrassed remembering how many people had seen you earlier as you were dragged down towards the dungeons, Alistair visibly proud of his marking of your skin, wanting everyone to see. Already there were rumours about the two of you.

Time passed as you leant back on the rock, staring up towards the cavern ceiling, using the sound of rushing water to distract yourself. But your back was beginning to ache, and you had no idea how long Alistair was planning to leave you down here. He would usually leave you over night if he had you locked in a dungeon, but even by now having let your mind wander you lost your of your sense of time. Wind echoed through the tunnel every now then with a low moan, somewhere else rocks tumbled and cracked as if they were being moved. You would sit up and check your surroundings, your eyes adjusting to the dark (you looked forward to when you’d be granted the power from Lord Idol to see fully in the dark) and check to see if you were still alone. You always were. Eventually though your bones cracked and you pushed yourself of the boulder, desperate to move. So long as you stayed in this chamber Alistair couldn’t fault you for needing to stretch, right? You walked over to the pool catching the waterfall’s spray and splashed some of the clear water on your face, it smelt like a fresh mountain spring. Pooling some in your hands you took a sip. Refreshment.

You stood up, stretched and noticed something interesting behind the waterfall. Your legs carrying you towards an opening in the cavern walls you found yourself on the edge of a tall ledge. Below you was a deep drop to a room made of stone bricks, an altar table laying in the centre. Where you were stood now, near the water, was almost like a balcony that oversaw the whole underground room. You looked behind you, still alone, and crept closer to the edge. You could easily climb both up and down it now, thanks to Alistair’s rigours training and yet you were wearing light clothes that could easily snag and tear, which would give you away. But you were so bored, already beginning to let yourself forget the fear of punishment for disobedience.

You skilfully and carefully climbed down the rock wall, landing at the bottom with a thud. The exercise had given you a brief burst of warmth as your muscles had a chance to work. You turned around to investigate the room, first seeing two more tunnels that lead away from the chamber. Then you noticed large skeletal structures and several carved grotesques emerging from the walls all pointing at the altar table. The floor was smooth save for the occasional stone slabs embedded in its surface, carved with words you could not read, worn from time. You approached the altar table hearing the waterfall get quieter behind you as you drifted further away from it. You ran your hands across its surface noticing some unusual grooves. Letters carved into the surface, this time ones you could read.

‘A and T were here.’ You were surprised at the juvenile defacement of the altar, knowing some kids probably thought they were funny a long while ago. But then again, when would children have ever be down here?

Something caught your attention, stealing you away from your thoughts and sending you into panic. Voices. Carrying across the wind from a tunnel not far from where you were and heading towards your direction. You stumbled and ran back to the ledge you had climbed down. Quickly pulling yourself up and crawling onto the rock above, seeking to find shadows to hide within until you could ascertain who else could possibly be down here. Waiting at the ledge, keeping low, hand on your dagger you waited as the voices carried louder, clearer.

“Through here. I’m certain of it.”

“I hope so.”

“Fuck I’m going ahead, give me some privacy.”

You ducked your head as one of the voices emerged through the tunnel opening, hearing him grunt. You slightly peeked over the edge to see a tall man stood in the corner, his back to you and holding something in his hand. You grimaced realising what he was doing, unable to watch him button his trousers back up.

“Fuck I needed that. Thought I was going to burst.”

“Delighted to know.” Another voice replied, stoic as it emerged from the tunnel now that privacy was no longer needed. The two men turned to the altar, still not noticing you as you clung to shadow. You were able to see them more properly now. The man who had taken a moment to relieve himself was human, with dark skin and curly hair. He wore a simple unidentifiable shirt and trousers, equipped with a quiver and bow on his back. Even in the dim light you could see his muscles. You swallowed; he looked strong.

But it was the other man who looked not just strong, but deadly. He was elven, tall and pale, skin as white as milk with long white hair that moved in a subtle draft of wind that had followed them through the tunnels. Unlike the other man he wore full plate silver armour and had his hand resting on a long great sword, the hilt of which was encrusted with sapphires. Something about that sword set alarm bells going off in your head.

The two men leaned over the altar, the brown-haired one laughing at something and pointing to the carved letters you had also noticed. For now, you would observe them, there was no telling where they would go but you assumed they would carry on down the other tunnel and away from you. A part of you was worried you should try and head back and warn the Sentinels there were people within the tunnels, potentially enemies but if you left Alistair’s punishment would be brutal regardless of the reasons why. You supposed you would have to tell him when he came and retrieved you, without giving away how much you saw. Even though you had not left the main chamber he had ordered to stay within, you knew he did not play fair.

“Ugh.” You whispered. You hated how your thoughts always cast back to him.

You disobeyed me. You jumped pushing a rock off the ledge, hearing it tumble and crash down to the ground below. Checking over your shoulder you looked for the black-haired assassin to see no one was there. Your heart pounded, his voice had sounded so real, carried by the wind. So, now even your imagination was out to get you.

You didn’t even notice the arrow fly past your head into the wall behind you.

“Shit!” You hissed clambering away from the edge having been discovered, glimpsing the elf in armour already scaling the wall up to you with impressive speed. You had no time to look back for too long though as you bolted across the rocks. But the water leaking and splashing out across the ground had made them now slippery and your leg skidded causing your weight to buckle and sending you down onto your face. Stretching out your arm you attempted to hoist yourself up when an arrow pierced into your hand causing you to scream as you heard through the dark another arrow draw. The strangers had both caught up to you, if only you had not slipped! Now you were at their mercy.

 But as you heard their steps get closer you found a flicker of rebellion light a fire within you. You would not go down easy, feeling your way to the dagger at your side, slowly unsheathing it. The man with the bow stood at the back, arrow drawn at you while the elven knight had his sword pointed towards your throat investigating who else could possibly be wandering these tunnels. You met his eyes, red as blood. Up close now you could see them more clearly. The knight was an albino and had a scar across his lip, the other man had young eyes, pinned and locked onto you as he aimed his bow, waiting for sudden movements.

The brown-haired man spoke up, “A prisoner?” He asked his friend.

“Maybe. They didn’t want us to discover them at least. I thought I could sense somethings presence even with the waterfall interfering with the vibrations, but I never would have imagined it was a person.” They were talking as if you couldn’t understand them even though you held your own in eye contact with the albino elf.

“Who are you?” You asked, trying not to be afraid, still hiding your hand that gripped your dagger. “Why are you here?”

“We could ask you the same thing.” The brown-haired man stated. Your hand still flooded blood from his successful shot, arrow jutting out from it. “Are you on the run? Did you escape from somewhere?”

               You were not keen on the way he was looking at you, there was something familiar about the tone of his voice too. It was similar to Alistair’s except less predatory. You kept yourself still as you looked up at them both, still on the ground. The albino elf stood eerily still. Studying you. You could take him by surprise, remembering a time where Alistair had made you study opponents who fought with swords similar to his. They always had one weakness you could exploit. You had the upper hand too, your civilian clothing meant your movements would be easy and quick. If you always stayed one step ahead you could avoid getting hit.

               “Careful.” The albino whispered as if reading your thoughts. “I won’t go easy on something as delicate looking as you.”

               Your opportunity to strike had to be now. You flashed your dagger with inhumane speed, just like Alistair had taught you and were quick enough to take the man by surprise at your agile movement. Using a burst of strength to jump up and disarm him by jabbing at his wrist before then throwing your dagger at the brown-haired man, equally taken aback by your attack. The elf dropped his sword as you kicked his legs in his armours weak point, while the man with the bow took the blade to his shoulder. In his panic he loosened his arrow into the ground, giving you an opportunity to advance on him as you ripped the arrow in your hand out. You snatched the dropped great sword as the elven man stumbled to get up, not noticing a strange smile flashing across his face. The sapphire hand was rough, and the blade was heavy, but you manged to swing it towards the other man who had ripped your dagger from his shoulder. He stumbled back dodging and so you used all you might to swing again-

               The blade caught as something pulled it back. The albino elf had his hand wrapped around the blade wrenching it from your grasp. You noticed an intense cut across his palm gushing blood before quickly sealing itself. How did he do that? He didn’t stop though, instead sending a heavy kick with his foot to your chest. You swear you felt your ribs crumble. The other man used your stunned and pained reaction to grab hold both of your arms pulling them behind your back, twisting them until you heard a crunch, feeling blinding pain. The elf pointed his sword to your neck.

               But you weren’t giving up yet. You swung your head back into the man’s nose causing him to yell.

               “Fuck!” He hissed letting you go. You stumbled forward uncontrollably, falling to your knees. You had to make your next move, but you could feel the bruises beginning to form, both your arms and ribs broken, hand with a hole in it and your neck now pressing into the tip of a blade, gently getting deeper and deeper. You closed your eyes.

               You had failed. But at least now you would free in death. You hoped Alistair found your body and was wrecked with the guilt of putting you in this position.

The pressure stopped and you heard a laugh from the man in front of you.

               “I hardly recognized you. You’ve been trained well, and to think when I left, I was worried about what would happen to you.”

               You opened your eyes to see the albino elf lower his sword and to your surprise he bent down and hoisted you up.

               “What are you-“

               “It’s a pleasure to formally meet you when you’re awake Y/N.” The elf said.

               “Fuck, I think they broke my nose.” The other man screamed still bent over. “Tar help me it’s not healing itself.” You looked behind you nervously and then back at the elf in front of you. His expression had calmed as he pulled you over to the edge of the nearby pool and sat you down.

               “Wait here, I need to see to the damage you’ve done to him.” But he sounded amused. He left you on the ground, astounded, to attend to the man doubled over in pain. He took him by the head, pulling the man’s face level with his and inspected the outpour of blood gushing from his nose. Mumbling something he cracked the nose back into place as the other man hissed.

               “See we’re all alright.” The elven man said. “Y/N how is your hand?”

               “How do you know my name?” You croaked as the two men walked over to you.

               “Hey, we will be the ones asking the questions,” the brown-haired man said. “Now where did you learn to fight like that? And how did you get down here?” 

               “Theodore.” The albino elf snapped, “Back off a bit, they don’t seem to possess the full blessing yet, look their wounds aren’t healing.” He shot you a smile, it was surprisingly warm and kind, which felt odd considering the two of you had just been at each other’s throats. “I think there has been a misunderstanding here, so first lets introduce us. I am the Crusader, Tar.” He knelt down taking your injured hand in his and placed a kiss upon it, blood smearing across the scar adorning his lips. “I’m sorry I was not there to greet you when you awoke in the Sanctuary. I can only hope you have settled in since then.”

The Crusader. You swallowed a lump. You knew who the Crusader was. He was your direct superior as an assassin, and yet no one spoke of him to you about what he was actually like. Alistair outright refused, after all it was common knowledge the two were rivals and you quickly caught on that he loathed the man who commanded him. So, you had begun to picture him as a fearful entity, violent and strong enough to get away with clashing against Alistair. And yet, the elf who stood in front of you carried a sense of calm and elegance. As you searched over his face, looking for a warning sign, that this was all a trick, you only found him to appear genuine.

               And beautiful.

               You had to look away. It was not wise to think about things like that.

               “This is Theodore, an assassin like you.” He introduced the blood covered man behind you who gave an awkward wave.

               “Y/N? Oh, I think I remember now,” Theodore smiled, “yeah, you were brought to the Sanctuary just before we left. When did you wake up?”

               “Almost a full four seasons ago.” You said voice dry, body beginning to ache from where it was slowly trying to repair itself.

               “Wow.” Theodore said, “We’ve been gone that long?”

You watched Tar nod. “Come Theodore, you take one of their arms I will take the other, we’ll need to get them some medical attention when we get back so the sooner the better or else they’ll be in for some nasty scaring.”

Theodore and Tar helped you walk through the caverns, leading you a different way to the route Alistair had dragged you through. Theodore led the way, seemingly an expert on the directions down here.

               “So, what are you even doing down here by yourself?” Tar asked as you all stumbled through the dark.

               “It’s hard to explain. You mumbled, unsure of what to say. “In short my mentor asked me to wait down here.”

               “Alone?” He asked, his voice carrying an accusation. “And away from the Sanctuary? Why?”

               “I think he was testing my ability to be patient.” You said. You couldn’t admit that in fact this was more than likely a punishment for disobedience disguised as a test.

               “I see.” Tar mused, “You’re almost a full four seasons into joining our family and you’re still training?”

               “Never mind that!” Theodore interjected, looking at you as he helped you walk, “There are very few people who know the full extend to these tunnels. And I know for a fact that me my best friend have never shared the secret of that cavern with the waterfall.”

               “You shared it with me.” Tar stated mundanely. But you both ignored him. You looked at Theodore curiously, the cogs in your head beginning to turn. You remembered what Alistair said earlier about how well he knew these passages too.

               “So, who exactly could have brought you here if not for-“

               “You’re Alistair’s friend?” You said surprised. Mainly because you did not think he had any friends.

               “Ali is your mentor?” He asked surprised. Tar slowed slightly, almost stopping, slightly pulling behind you before he continued, keeping up. His expression mirrored your surprise but for different reasons.

Theodore continued, “so, Ali is your mentor? As in Alistair-the-Reaper? Well, that explains why you managed to take both of us on at the same time! That’s some premium training.” The three of you clambered up a slope ducking under more stalactites. “Seriously we will have to tell him about the fight you put up, he should be proud of the hits you endured, you fight well.”

               “That’s not necessary” You panicked knowing Alistair would be less than proud at you breaking his one instruction.

               “I suppose Our Lady didn’t want him to get bored while under house arrest.” Tar sighed, “Still I must compliment you on your skills as well, knowing Alistair he must not have made it easy for you. I can only apologise for any suffering he might have caused.” 

               “What’s he said about me, huh? Did he tell you how strong and cool I am?” Theodore grinned.

               Tar clicked his tongue, “Yet I’m surprised he’s broken the rules letting you stay down here alone. I’ll have to speak to him about it but be assured you will not be in trouble.”

Your head spun struggling to keep up as the two men talked at you, Tars words did not sound promising considering Alistair would be furious with you for being dumb enough to move from the spot he ordered you to stay in. And get caught by the Crusader doing so no less. You groaned; the injuries you had sustained were struggling to fix themselves.

“Not long now.” Theodore said giving you a pat on the back.

“So how come you and Alistair are the only ones who know all the routes down here?”

Theodore shimmied around rock jutting from the ground, smiling, “We grew up together here, these caverns were our own play area as kids. Know ‘em like the-“

“Back of your hand?” You finished for him.

“You said that to me earlier Theordore, and yet we got lost several times.” Tar quipped. Theodore looked away embarrassed and the conversation stalled.

“I’ve told you why I’m down here but you’ve yet to tell me why you are.”

Theodore responded, “We were journeying back from our contract when a really bad storm hit. Didn’t really want to hike up the mountains when it was flooding so I suggested we use a hidden entrance to the caverns that would allow us to get back without getting soaked.” That made sense for an explanation. You were aware the Crusader and one other assassin had been sent on an important quest. A quest that tied to Alistair in some way too.

“Sorry about your hand by the way.” You looked surprised, he sounded so sheepish and guilty, different from earlier.

You shook your head, “No I should be the one apologising. I’m sorry about your nose.”

“Ah well its healed now, so no harm done. I just feel bad because I assumed you were a prisoner who’d escaped.”

He pated you on the back helping you to stumble up a damp rocks, while Tar shouldered some of your weight, helping you stay upright, his eyes scanning over bruises and marks across your wrists, arms and neck. Alistair’s doing.

Tar had a lot to say to the assassin when he got back, words which he would have you hear as well.

Theodore led you through winding passages and helped you squeeze through tight crevasses until you climbed your way up to familiarly lit tunnels where you were used to patrolling. Tar muttered something about the lack of security posted as you passed through the dungeons and up into the upper floors of the Sanctuary.

               You were headed towards the common room as you passed some of your fellow believers earning gasps at the sighting of the Crusader returned.

               Wulfred the blacksmith, Drua the orc sentinel and Talon your assassin peer all followed you eager to speak to the returned believers. Tar and Theodore helped you lay down across a sofa chair near the fireplace before Theodore ran to get bandages and Tar sent Talon to get The Lady. Both of their wounds had healed by now, but yours, not so much. You knew you would get little sleep tonight, assuming Alistair let you sleep after your insubordination. You cursed your rebellious impulsivity.

He sat in a velvet purple chair avoiding eye contact. The Lady paced back and forth opposite him sighing every now and then. When she finally sat down in front of him, he could tell that this would not be an easy conversation. 

               “Where are they now?” She asked.

               He hesitated, if he revealed that he’d left them alone in the caverns beneath the Sanctuary it would only make him look irresponsible. He gritted his teeth. “Resting.” He had left you down there, intending for it only to be a few hours before he fetched you, hopefully still in place. But as soon as he arrived back at the Sanctuary his mother had called for him to her chambers. A rare occurrence that usually meant serious business.

               “I see. Shall I start with the positives?” She asked curtly. He hated when his mother used that tone. It made him feel like he was a child again, caught doing something naughty. “They’re well trained in our arts. They have had three successful assisted contract kills while under your supervision and they have not broken a single rule.” He tried not to advert his gaze when she said that last part, just in case she figured out how that wasn’t quite true. “I have to say Alistair you’ve done well as a mentor, I’m quite proud of you. And them.” She smiled leading over her desk towards him. “They have also been quite a positive influence on you have they not?” Wrong again. He thought, feeling his possessive and obsessed thoughts of you twist inside of him.

               “I’m so glad to see you have found someone who causes you to be more tender. I’ve seen it in the way you look at them.”

               “What are the negatives?” He cut in, he would not be having that conversation with his mother.

               She leaned back into her chair looking up, accepting that he wanted to move straight to the point. “You’ve held their hand a little too much. Time is drawing to a close and you have yet to set them upon their final test to earning Idol’s blessing. And since they’re towards the end of their training I can only suspect there has been some doubts about them that have held you back.”

               His eyes narrowed. “That is untrue.” He said, “I’m only delaying the trial as I expect perfection, and they aren’t quite ready yet.”

               The Lady shook her head, unsatisfied and raised her voice beginning to get frustrated. “Alistair you’ve delayed the trial five times now. Each time unable to give a time frame of when they would be ready. Meanwhile Idol thirsts for blood and sacrifice. If Y/N cannot fulfil this debt soon then their body will perish. Idol will take back his blessing, you know it’s only currently provisional!”

               “I know!” Alistair snapped. “I know that the longer I hold them back the weaker they get. I know that time is running out.” His chest thundered. The topic he had forbidden himself to think about had caught up with him. He had meddled with your trial to become a full assassin of Idol several times. But only because he was nervous, fearful that if you left on your own with a target to execute that you would take advantage of the freedom and leave him again. He still remembered your words from that night, how you had risked your life to break from him. The sting of that memory ate him up inside as paranoia of you betraying him struck once again.

               The Lady sighed, reaching out a hand to hold his comfortingly, but he moved away. “That’s what this is about isn’t it? I wish you would just admit it to me. There is no shame in what you feel nor shame in wanting to protect them, I know what that is like well enough.” She said as his mother not as the priestess. “But we all belong to Idol first and foremost, and so you must not let your feelings interfere with the order of his will.” Alistair once again adverted his gaze scowling at her determination to unpick his private emotions.

“Oh, come now, don’t be embarrassed. Love is one of the most beautiful and powerful feelings. Your love for them will give them strength; the same way you are strong because of the love Idol holds for you. With that surely only success is in store for them.”

               “They don’t quite see me that way yet though, which makes it hard-“

               “Forgive my intrusion My Lady.” Sorren, one of the oldest members of the Sanctuary barged into the Priestess’ study, interrupting their conversation. “It’s urgent.” Alistair’s mother looked up displeased at the interruption but gestured him to continue, trusting him that it was important. “I’ve received word that the Crusader is back.”

A small crowd had gathered within the common room as The Lady and Alistair arrived to see Tar and Theodore assisting you with your injuries, now completely fatigued after being given a chance to sit down. Almost everyone was present from fellow assassins to the Sentinels and tradesmen as well as the other Oracles who had been fetched by Talon.

               Alistair bristled at seeing the Crusader again, what’s more he was both confused and infuriated that he had his hand touching yours, wrapping a bandage around it. He cursed himself for leaving you alone. Clearly you had more than likely defied him and gotten yourself injured. The disappointment stung him more than he liked to admit. He’d have to deal with you later.

               All around people were buzzing with questions in excitement, having missed their dear fellow believers the past year. Voices were loud meshing into one as Wulfred and Drua handed out mugs of drink to Tar and Theodore.

               “Quiet everyone!” The Lady commanded loudly. A gentle hush washed over the group. “Crusader, Theodore. It is good to see you safe and sound once again.” She said eyeing their obvious recent injuries with suspicion before making eye contact with you. Alistair knew you were both screwed. “May everyone give me and our fellow believers some time to give their report, and then tomorrow night once they have had a chance to rest, we will have a celebration of their most awaited return. Elesis, will you see to the details?”

               The oracle nodded as people began to file out of the common room shepherded out by the Sentinels. The Lady grabbed Alistair by the wrist, keeping him next to her while gesturing to Tar with her eyes to keep you where you were, not that you were even moving an inch with your broken bones. Once the door-gap in the brick wall behind them closed in on itself The Lady embraced both Tar and Theodore in a celebratory hug.

               “Why did you not send word you were returning?” She asked

               “I felt it was unsafe.” Tar said.

The Lady nodded approving his response. “I see. I’m sure I can expect a full report soon following on from your previous letter but for now there are more pressing matters. Care to explain the condition of the three of you?” The Lady asked as Alistair tried to catch your gaze however your eyes were half closed, staring into space, you had taken quite a beating by the looks of it. He noticed the freshly healed slash across Theodore’s shoulder and the blood flecked across Tar’s hands.

               Noticing Alistair’s stare Theodore beamed at his old friend. “Ali! It’s so good to see you!”

Alistair scowled. “I told you not to call me that.”

“Alistair care to explain why Y/N was left unattended in the tunnels in the mountains below?” Tar asked, arms crossed as he stood over you, still laid on the sofa chair. You had already confessed to him the truth of why you had been alone down there, but it seems he wanted Alistair’s side to compare.

Alistair stiffened as his mother looked between him and you. “The caverns? Why on earth would they be down there? Alistair you informed me that they were resting. Did you lie?” Her curt tone from earlier was returning, he sensed he was about to be chewed out.

               “Yes.” He seethed unable to ignore the satisfaction that flashed across Tar’s expression. He always enjoyed catching Alistair out. “I had assigned them a test of obedience; I wanted to see if they could wait in an unfamiliar environment if instructed to.” 

               “That’s funny. Y/N told me you were training their patience while you make it sound as if they were being punished.” He had been back a grand total of five minutes and the white-haired bastard was already determined to ruin his day. Alistair looked at you laid pathetic and bloody. His mother was right, Idol’s blessing on you was fading, your regenerative abilities were losing potency. You both were running out of time, and it actually frightened him something he never thought he could admit and yet in this exact moment it was all he knew.

He sucked up his pride. “I don’t think the reason matters does it, when really I assume the point you’re making, is that I broke the rules?”

“Yes, by taking them past the Sanctuary’s boundaries you have breached both the rules of their allowances as a trainee assassin, not to mention your house arrest.”

“Y/N should have never been down there to begin with.” The Lady shook her head. “But that’s not their fault. Alistair, Tar is correct, you should be going no further than the dungeons unless I give you my explicit permission while still under contempt for your transgressions last year.”

               “If I may, My Lady,” Tar interrupted, “Y/N actually impressed me quite well with their skills.” He said giving you a nod of approvement. “They even managed to disarm me.”  The Lady raised an eye, impressed by Tar’s words of praise as he bent down to be level to you so he could include you in the conversation. “I have been informed Alistair, that you have been mentoring them?”

               “Yes.” Alistair said. They’re mine, keep away.

               “And how would you describe their progress to be?” He asked, brows raised, eyes narrowing. Alistair could feel himself getting heated. He knew what was coming; Tar loved to meddle.

               “Adequate.” He downplayed, avoiding looking at you, not wanting to give Tar the satisfaction of appearing overconfident.

               “And would you say they’re close to progressing their rank?”

               Alistair stumbled with his words, knowing his mother was watching intently to see his reaction considering he had just spend the last twenty minutes defending his choices as your mentor to her. “Soon.” He said, hissing through his teeth.

               “It’s almost been a full year, hasn’t it?” Tar said looking to The Lady. “They will need to obtain Idol’s approval soon or else they die, and you,” he looked towards Alistair, “will have failed the duty given to you and will suffer an equal fate.”

               “What are you getting at Crusader?” The Lady asked curious.

               Tar placed an arm behind your head, discreetly and gently tracing one of Alistair’s love bites with his fingers. “I’d like to take immediate control over Y/N’s mentoring, so they are ready for their final trial within the next ten days. Alistair will relinquish his position as their mentor but be released from house arrest to return to his full duties.” You could feel the air in the room go cold despite being so close to the roaring fire. You had been slipping in and out of consciousness and yet your body jolted awake sensing the danger growing between the two eleven men. You twitched slightly as Tar drew his hand to check your hand wound, brow furrowed at its slow healing and tutted. Alistair was almost shaking in rage so much that his mother quietly placed her hand to his back to steady him, and yet he felt her sigh in agreement with his rival. He would not even stand to hear the words come from her mouth before he turned on his heels and stormed out.

               “I’ll go after him.” Theodore whispered as The Lady crouched down to check your condition for herself.

He practically almost kicked the door of his bedroom down, throwing his dagger on the bed yelling in frustration. That damn bastard. Tar always had to ruin everything for him, never sparing a chance to make trouble. He kicked a dresser that kept both yours and his civilian clothes so hard that it formed a hole. But he could not help it, images of Tar touching you flashing across his mind. Just who did he think he was if he thought he could replace Alistair as the one by your side. No- worse, he was using you to get to him, and that was unforgivable in Alistair’s eyes.

               “Everything okay?” Theodore’s voice caught him off guard, he spun wildly his expression subtly alarming the man.

               “Don’t even bother trying to say anything. You can’t help.”

               Theodore entered past the door, closing it behind him while scratching his neck, not at all put off by Alistair’s temperament. He watched his elven friend collapse on his bed, hands straining as he gripped the bed frame, furious. Calmy Theodore took a seat next to him, taking a deep breath and enjoying being back in familiar surroundings.

               The first thing he noticed was the unfamiliar hints of another scattered here and there. Someone else’s handkerchief, a bottle of body scent and not the kind Alistair wore, the doeskin boots by the foot of the bed not at all his size.

               “I’m starting to understand why you’re so pissed off.” He said at last. “I’m guessing you are more than their mentor.” When Alistair didn’t reply, Theodore just led back on his friend’s bed preparing the long process of drawing the elf out until he would admit to what he was keeping himself from saying. This was not the first time they had had a conversation like this. “Hey, how come you never mentioned me to them? They had no idea who I was! Do you not talk about me? Does anyone ever talk about me?” He teased.

               “That loudmouth wench does sometimes.” Alistair mumbled.

               Theodore sat up, “Viv? Oh god, I can’t wait to see her again!” He felt Alistair bristle and knew better than to carry on in the direction of discussing his least favourite believers. Theordore made a tactical decision to sit in silence with his friend for several minutes, letting the elf steady his breathing as he stared blankly at the wall, unmoving. It paid off though, as Alistair finally had a question to ask.

               “How did you survive a year with him Theo?” He asked, hands balling into fists at the mention of his rival.

               “I didn’t have much of a choice.” Theodore sighed, stretching out his legs and cracking his now healed shoulder. “You had your punishment, and I had mine.” Alistair turned his head shocked and confused to what the man meant. “What? I thought you knew. Tar selected me to assist him as penance for not stopping you. I knew all about your plan…” He was referencing the crime in which had Alistair on house arrest and sent Tar off on a long journey to tie up all the loose ends that had come from the chaos Alistair had caused. A plan that had threatened the safety of the Sanctuary and that Theodore had been wise to and not prevented.

               “Must have been rough. Sorry you wound up stuck with him because of me.”

               Theodore slapped his friend on the back, the only person able to do so and get away with it. He laughed his signature deep, warm chuckle. The noise that drew everyone towards him, even Alistair who was the complete opposite with his cold presence. The two of them were different in every way. Theodore got along with everyone while Alistair only got along with him. They were nothing alike and yet from an early age had gravitated towards each other, becoming the closest of friends. Loyal to the end - opposites did attract after all.  

               “Not trying to make you angry, but it wasn’t that bad. I hardly saw him most of the time just followed his orders. I actually feel I understand him better now.” He saw Alistair give him a warning look. “I told you I wasn’t trying to make you angry but,” he said holding his hands up, “I think I can help you prevent yourself from getting trapped by him. You’re just going to have to control yourself.”

               “How can I?” He yelled jumping up from the bed, “He’s pushed in between me and them, just when I had them-“

               “So, I’m still not entirely sure of your relationship with them, but you have to take a step back. If you blow up, you’re just going to let Tar win. Can’t you fight for them by putting them first and trust they will find their way back?”

               “Give me a concrete example of what you mean please.” His voice dragged with irritation as his eyes hardened.

               Theodore stood up to Alistair’s level, despite being shorter than him, “Stop targeting Tar and instead focus on supporting Y/N to succeed. You don’t need to be their mentor to care for them. Seek them out, talk to them as if everything is normal, don’t be angry about what’s happened. Check in on them while their wounds heal, insist on taking care of them after all if the two of you are together-“

               “We’re not.” Alistair said embarrassed, an unusual emotion for him to show, “Not really.”

               Theodore could not refrain from the dumbfounded expression, pressing his hand to his eyes as if to ‘why are you like this?’

               “You’re kidding?” He asked. “Have I gotten this all wrong, I saw the marks on their skin you’ve at least been busy with them and not been careful at hiding it. Are you just using them?”

               “Not at all!” He looked offended, “I do care for them, fuck- it’s complicated. I want them to want me back and so far, this is all I can do. I’ll admit I’ve perhaps gone a little far recently, but I can’t help worrying about losing them and then I act out.” He cast his eyes down; he had lost them now. Stolen from him by one of the most irritating people he knew. Next to him his best friend stifled a laugh unsuccessfully before losing control.

               “You are hopeless!” He teased, “Have you even kissed them? Do they even know how you feel or are you just fruitlessly and intensely longing for them as you maim their neck? You know that’s going to give the wrong idea of how you feel about them if you don’t at least say anything.” He yelled as Alistair pushed him over, falling onto the bed but it did not stop his friend’s laughing.

               “I know.” He grumbled. “There are already rumours. That I’m keeping them as a pet or toy, or that they seduced me or think they can ‘fix’ me.” He stopped as Theordore starting rolling on the bed with laughter. “It’s not funny Theo! You’re so childish.” But he just caused Theodore to laugh harder.

               Wiping a tear from his eye, he sat himself up, “I’m sorry Ali, but thinking of you being seduced… I think I’m going to die.” He brought a pillow to his face and used it to muffle his laughing, calming himself down.

               “I hope you suffocate yourself.” Alistair said, one-hundred-percent unserious.  

That night after a long and needed talk with his old friend, Theodore parted, exhaustion finally catching up with him. Alistair settled himself into rest, anticipating a night alone exactly as you trudged through his door, not even acknowledging him as you shed your bloody and tattered clothes and dressed into something clean. You wiped your face with your handkerchief, glancing at the dresser now with a hole in its side and raising a brow before you then slumped onto the bed next to him, eyes shutting.

               “How are your injuries.” He asked scanning the surface of your skin. Your hand still had a bandaged wrapped around it, but you seemed comfortable and not in so much pain.

               “I was given special treatment to help heal them; I had several broken bones that needed attending to. Why did you not tell me the blessing that improved my vitality was fading?” You asked without sitting up not looking at him, eyes still firmly shut.

               “I never expected it to be an issue.” He said.

               “Seriously?” You peeked at him with one eye open, “You’ve been holding me hostage here, not letting me move on weakening my abilities but still subjecting me to harsh punishments that are causing strain on my body. You remember that if I fail you fail, right?”

               “I thought Tar was taking over now, you’re his concern.” He didn’t mean to sound so dismissive, remembering his friends’ words. Care for them. “I’m sorry.”

               “I don’t know what you’re sorry for but either way, if I fail you still suffer the consequences, only now you have no jurisdiction over me. Honestly,” you said pressing your hands over your face. “I don’t even know why I am here.”

               “You will always have a place here.” He said gently taking a blanket and draping it over you. You seemed too tired to move, your body needed sleep and time to heal. As Alistair tucked you in, he glimpsed the love bites he had created, his heart panged. He had never actually told you what you meant to him. He’d been calling you ‘his love’ and even his soulmate at times and yet never elaborated on why he felt that way. He realised how cold he must appear, twisted and disturbed. No wonder you never reciprocated, you probably had no idea he was so obsessed with you because he loved you. That every time he closed his eyes you were trapped in the afterimage, that the ghost of your scent lingered over him like a fog he never wanted to escape. Had he ever even told you how beautiful your smile was, how your voice was his favourite sound?

               He crashed down onto the covers next to you. Could he even tell you that he was scared of losing you?

“What have you done to me?”He whispered in your ear wrapping his arms around you to little protest. “This is all your fault; all I can think about is you. Fuck. You make me want to destroy everything in the world that isn’t us.” You were too exhausted to say anything as he quietly rambled in your ear. He had you pressed against his chest, not unusual during the night and yet there was a newfound desperation within his voice, he spoke as if he was possessed. Whispering in your ear. You played with his fingers wanting to placate him, feeling him get restless as if he craved your touch. Entangled in his grip, he was now desperate to show you a tenderness that he had preserved for when the moment was right. He had held himself back for this moment.

“I’m sorry I didn’t protect you. Genuinely.” His voice was warm against your ear. “I don’t expect you to forgive me but just know my heart cares for you so deeply. And the fear of loosing you out there, in the world that wants to only hurt people like us, terrified me. And I just had no idea how to handle that.”

“It doesn’t matter now.” You whispered back. “I’ll be leaving to complete my final test in three days’ time. The Lady agreed it with Tar, he’ll help me succeed and then I’ll come back. Your conscious can then be wiped clean.”

The indifference in your voice cut deep. You did not even sound mad at him, if anything you had taken refuge with his rival and that had given you strength to dismiss him. He wondered why you had come to him tonight. “If you’re sorry after all you’ve done, just leave me alone and don’t cause trouble for Tar.”

Jealousy crept up within him, overshadowing the tenderness he was trying so hard to express. “Tar? Tar? So, you’re on a first name bases huh? You think he’s your friend? He wants to see you fail. Because if you fail, I fail and he gets rid of me. Don’t be foolish enough to trust him.” Alistair warned, feeling the sadistic and cold part of him take control. Biting down hard on your neck, he heard you whimper.  Leaning back and licking his lips he mumbled, “all you do is betray me and yet I never stop loving you.”

               “It’s not love.” You whispered at last. “It’s not.” You were still against him, feeling the vibrations of his heart against your back. His arm tightened around you as he went to give a retort, but the words would not come. His anger grew tired so instead he just buried his head into your neck. You felt his lips move against your skin expecting him to be giving a string of curses.