KILL OR BE KILLED.

@gravames​

Peko’s execution was simply a reminder that their lives were not their own.

Trapped here on an island, separated from the outside world… it isn’t too surprising to Mikan that someone would fall into this sort of trap. She’d worked on numerous medical cases, seen and heard from others having been put in frightening situations, and it’s easy to slip. The human mind is very fragile, and the slightest push in the wrong direction can have dire consequences. Unfortunately, Mahiru was the victim here, and Peko, a young woman they thought to be gentle, had been the perpetrator.

The execution had not went according to Monokuma’s plan. Fuyuhiko tried his best to prevent it, and in the process, he lost his eye. It was gruesome… and even Mikan thought it was the end of him, with a wound so severe. It was Peko that cradled him in her arms, and it was Peko that allowed herself to die. The sound of the katana piercing her body rang clear in Mikan’s ears.

As for Fuyuhiko…

Mikan found herself taking over some of Monokuma’s responsibilities in nursing Fuyuhiko back to health. He was quiet, and he didn’t speak as loudly or as much as he did before. Something had clearly changed within his heart. Mikan did not want to pry, and so she spent the time they were together in silence.

Today, however, she updates him on his recovery. It’s proper she does so.

“Kuzuryuu-san…” She murmurs, pausing in the midst of removing his bandages. “Your wound is healing well. I think… it will be a small scar. The incision is very smooth.”

She lingers, and her eyes nervously dart to catch his expression. The person sitting in this hospital bed, gazing silently back at her… He’s definitely different than before.

“It… is possible,” Mikan says slowly, fingers grazing his scalp, “that Pekoyama-san tried to lessen the blow.” To prevent hurting you anymore than she has, Mikan thinks privately.

he shouldn’t be alive. he shouldn’t be alive. he shouldn’t be alive.

sometimes that was all that he could think about, within the confines of the hospital he couldn’t do much more than think about the fact that he was alive and peko, who had been by his side for all his life, was dead. the fact that he had come so far to protecting her, to getting her out of her execution or so he thought, was only met with despair.

and yet, he was alive.

he was alive and tsumiki, one of the classmates he hardly spared a second to prior to peko’s execution, was right there by his side to keep him alive. and to think about throwing that all away, throwing the second chance away... now that would have been rude... wouldn’t it?

especially so when she was talking and it took him but a moment to even realize that she was talking to him, a singular eye slowly shifting to meet hers. it was good that he was healing, wasn’t it? that was wonderful news! but the mention of peko continued to sting, causing him to wince before his gaze moved elsewhere.

“maybe...” there was little enthusiasm in his words, little belief in the idea that she would have been able to do that much. she didn’t know that he was there in the first place, if she did, he wouldn’t have lost an eye...

but he couldn’t help but smile at the ‘what if’.

  It is interesting to see just how much they have all changed, and not all of that change is because of the trauma they have suffered. Once, Gundham would have flown so easily into the dramatic denial and arrogance of the Evil Overlord he uses to protect himself. Instead, he acknowledges the suffering he carries, freely commenting on it before trying to send his companion’s focus elsewhere. Once, Fuyuhiko would have latch onto the title Gundham gave him and launched into a rage. Instead, he is far more accommodating, even understanding. If the former breeder didn’t know what Fuyuhiko has been through this sort of kindness would have surprised him.

  Still, his jaw tightens when his attempt to move this conversation away from him fails. Eyes slide away, the former breeder hunching a little. Kuzuryuu is right. Gundham’s refusal to let people know what goes through his mind, to seek help, is a sort of self-cruelty. A result of that part of him that still believes they deserve punishment, that they shouldn’t be alive to recover, not after all the blood on their hands. He can’t bring himself to take that out on the others, so he does it to himself in ways that are just another form of his old self-destructive ways.

     “You appear somewhat preoccupied with my mental state,” He says, turning his attention back to Fuyuhiko. Time to try another deflection method. “Perhaps you are attempting to divert concern away from yourself. Tell me, how do you cope with the memories of what we are?”

he wouldn’t call it ‘preoccupied’ himself, but any indication of a protest would fall short as tanaka would turn the attention to him. he remembered once again how much he hated the attention, but at the same time, he guessed it was only fair for tanaka to ask questions when kuzuryuu has done is own fair share in the past couple of minutes. there was hesitation, no doubt about that, the eye that remained flickering down to the ground for a brief moment before a deep breath would escape him.

“i don’t.” an answer that didn’t take much thought, he would pause for a second to collect the thoughts that followed before continuing. “i don’t get a lot of sleep. it’s unhealthy, i know, but i’m working on it. and i guess that’s all that we can really do, is work on ourselves, work on making the world a better place despite the things we’ve done.” and he’s accepted if he isn’t able to do anything now, well, there’s got to be something that helps the move to a brighter future.

“i’ll admit... it isn’t easy, but as far as coping is concerned... having these talks, keeping myself busy... it’s the least i can do.” the least that he could do would have this answer for tanaka, to answer the questions that the rest of their fellow classmates might have. kuzuryuu wouldn’t pretend to know all the answers and for that, he would usually point them towards hinata, but he knows that he’s learned a lot from being able to put his heart on his sleeve.

     “ who is to say i HAVEN’T made a bet on it? “

   she hasn’t. but she DOES like to keep up that air of mystery at least to a degree. and although she won’t OUTRIGHT agree with his terminology in regards to the situation – without a doubt, it is FUCKED up. that vulgar tendency inside can certainly appreciate it, even if she is meant to be the TYPE to abhor such things. appearances CAN be deceiving, as she is a living testament. but right now? her attention is also drawn by chaos before them. not such an UNCOMMON thing to cut into class. 

    still, a SIGH falls from her lips. class had it’s merits, she DID like to learn – even if she was late from time to time because mornings were NOT her friends. this is a hindrance more than anything. but at least she is not the ONLY person to believe as such.

            “ if we wished for a NORMAL education, i suppose we should have gone to a NORMAL school. but then, that was not particularly an option, no? not with placements in the world such as ours. “

                there is a little pause – a light shake of her head. 

                        “ though i sincerely doubt at this point we will be learning ANYTHING today. it might be better to simply LEAVE. “

“i wouldn’t be surprised, if that was the case.” he was completely aware who he was talking to. and if by some chance that she was placing bets, well, he was a fool not to have hopped on earlier. it would be safe to say, however, gambling wasn’t his strong suit and he would leave it to her while being somewhat content to watching the school fall into chaos as it always does.

“no kidding...” there was no winning with their placements in the world and most of them have come to accept the fact. and yet, there was disdain in his voice as he spoke, a hint of regret that comes from falling for the appeals of a school that might have been just right for him. “you know, the only reason i came to this damn school is that they promised decent security that you can’t get at a normal school. it tends to get a little tiring when you’re always running from one school to the next.”

either way, it wasn’t as if she was wrong in saying that there was nothing left for them there. there was a part of him that wonders if any day would be different than today.

   Gundham’s lips twist into a sneer, a snarled response moments from release. It is a reflex, the former breeder instantly wishing to push away any attempts to help him. To hide any hints at weakness. But he manages to calm himself, tired eyes closing as he takes a deep breath. Kuzuryuu doesn’t deserve such a harsh reaction. He is only trying to help, even if his wording is somewhat rough.

    “I … I apologise for my distance,” Gundham says, a shaking hand rising to rub at his eyes. “Trust my behaviour is not because of you, Little Dragon. I am simply … unaccustomed to the idea of seeking out others for assistance. I have always carried my darkness in solitude, even before the world died.” A pause and arms shift, crossing over his chest. “That being said, I must refuse your kind offer. There are others here who are not accustomed to carrying such a heavy burden. They require your aid more than I.”

    An attempt to deflect focus from him. Gundham does have his methods to combat the nightmares but they aren’t particularly healthy. Overworking himself is a common one. As is his tendency to increase his own isolation.

to say that he wasn’t expected the response would be an understatement. like himself, he already assumed that tanaka would prefer to keep to himself or at the very least, insist that there was nothing wrong. there was something to be said about acknowledging that they all shared some sort of burdens, but how some people decided to deal with those burdens, he knew it would be hard to be able to convince them.

“if that’s what you want... i’m not gonna push you or anything like that, i’m not that kinda guy.” a genuine smile would appear on his lips as first, ever so faint but there nonetheless. he wouldn’t pretend that he wasn’t exempt from the troubles that they have, but he would say he’s come a long way to accept it. “but it’s nothing to apologize about, i know how used to that kind of thing you can be. my family... there was no room for supporting anything but violence in my family.” then again, the way that he had acted during the killing game, there was really no need for him to explain all that much.

          “ they recruited a gambler, a yakuza leader, and a biker gang leader – did you ACTUALLY expect a proper school dynamic? they have a penchant for the illegal to begin with. “

        still something COMPLETELY unusual to her, considering the fact that they were ABSOLUTELY among those talents that probably shouldn’t have EVER been allowed in a school environment. a little sigh and she looks at the chaos in front of her.

                “ and yet – it seems WE aren’t the problem. “

“i guess that’s on me, huh? it’s too much to ask for a normal education with some normal classmates... but then again, that’s the whole point of this place.”

all he wanted was to get in and get out of school at whatever cost it may be, preferably not having to transfer schools every couple of months like he’s been used to. a slow shake of his head, attention drifting from the more questionable classmates.

“i get it, you know? i get that not everyone feels comfortable enough to talk to me, confide in me, or whatever...” and you think that with this in mind, kuzuryuu would be a little bit more eloquent with his words, but this was not the case. “i guess what i’m saying is if you need anything, uh... i’m here, if you need me.”

in kuzuryuu’s hands was the most foul thing that a guy like him could ever be seen with, possibly the most sweet-looking milkshake that you ever did see. did he get extra whipped cream with that? absolutely. “... what’re you lookin’ at, huh? you didn’t see nothin’.”

“you’d think for such a prestigious fuckin’ school that someone would have some idea as to how a school should be run. i don’t know what i was expecting, but...” of course, it wasn’t as if he had the credentials to have any room to speak. he was a kuzuryuu, after all, this wasn’t his forte.  “i can’t say it was this.”

“yeah, no kidding. i can tell.” and it was only a matter of time before he would feel a headache start to come on, he could only hope that he could get her to calm her shit. “for starters, shutting your damn mouth would probably help.”