ₐₙₜₛ ᵢₙ ₘᵧ ₚₐₙₜₛ

Timing: Christmas Day (December 25, 2021) Location: Ann Arbor, Michigan Summary: Anton leaves White Crest for the weekend to visit his daughter and her mother. Old wounds surface but maybe time has healed them. Maybe. Content: Broken families, terrible fathers, redemption (sort of)

I haven’t been clicking anything, I swear. I know about the viruses and shit, so I avoid clicking on stuff I don’t understand. They just found me. Yeah, you also can figure out if I have an antivirus installed or shit that can block ads.

Overseas? Where do your friends live? Yeah, that’d be expensive

Oh. Yeah, yeah I can…I’m not sure if I’d be a good email pal I have it written down… somewhere I only have the one from work is that ok. Where are you planning on going?

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That’s good to hear. Some of them are really sneaky, though. I heard you don’t even have to click the actual link. Just pass by an ad or something. Yeah, I can help you with that, too. Anything for a friend, right?

To be honest, I’m not really sure. I think they were in South Korea a few months ago, but I don’t know where they are right now. They like to hop from one place to another. Just spontaneously. Hella expensive.

Remember that conversation we had at Dell’s a while ago? That got me thinking about visiting my kid family. I think it’s about time. Been keeping tabs on them through a friend but never really got the courage to finally see them again after all these years. The whole space worm thing, the fae kidnapping, and You made me think I should at least try. I’ve survived worse. Getting turned away wouldn’t be as bad as I think...I think.

Yeah, weird. Cause I don’t know them and just wanna know how they keep finding me. It’s not my e-mail it’s…this thing, forum? Someone called them pornbots  That’s a lot of clicks. Oh, that sounds really helpful. If you don’t mind, I don’t want to bother Thanks. But you can’t read my other Do people still e-mail eachother for non work stuff? I thought it was all texting.

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Oh, I see. I was going to say it might be those spam e-mails, but I’m not so sure if similar things exist on forums. Wait, what? Pornbots? Oh, man, what have you been clicking?! [user has attached the laughing emoji] That’s actually happened to me before, too. Accidentally clicked the wrong thing, got spammed by Russian bride e-mails from out of nowhere. Appreciated that they thought I could afford anything above a Happy meal but it was pretty annoying. If I remember correctly, I had to change accounts, but I think there may be better solutions. I’ll see what we can come up with when I come over. 

Texting people overseas can be very expensive, so it’s usually e-mails between me and old friends. Pretty practical, too, when you don’t really want to reach out right away. Longer messages mean longer effort and all that jazz. Speaking of, let me know what your e-mail add is? I might, uhh, take a vacation from White Crest for a while, a few months maybe, years, so it’ll be a good way to keep in touch.

I didn’t want to do this but 

I was wondering if someone knows

Help,

Uh, I don’t know what to do with People have been leaving weird messages in my box? box 

They don’t even have pictures Just faceless  I’m not interested in glasses or testing games  They keep saying I asked for videos when I  Hot7332bob keeps offering me mistressleemah569 seems friendly but she says she’s horn Is this happening to everyone?

Can anyone 

How do I delete block them, where’s the button I’m not very good with tech

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Weird messages? Box? Your mailbox? What kind of weird messages, Nic? Is someone harassing you? Hasn’t happened to me, but if you need help, you can hide at my place. Oh, wait, you meant on the Internet. I can swing by later, too, if you need me to, but your e-mail’s inbox should have one of those uhh block options. Just open the message from the moron you’d want to block. When you do, a button in the top right or something should appear. Click More, then click Block. That’s how I did it last time, but it was a long time ago. Been a while since anyone emailed me outside of work and hunting.

The difference is there. Just gotta be searched for, you know? You’re probably somewhere on the nerd-geek sliding scale, for sure. Oh, sick. I didn’t realize that there was so many Spider-folks. Kinda cool, tbh. If you’re gonna start anywhere with mythology, I definitely recommend Percy Jackson. Itslkjaflkds fuck The series is great. Oh, yeah, totally. Kids’ve gotta dream, right?

Huh, no kidding. All kids are troublesome. I think that comes with the territory of being a kid. I do work at a library, but I’m hardly a stereotypically hot librarian. For starters, I hate pencil skirts, and I only wear glasses in the evening. I’m, like, a cool library who wears leather jackets and shit. Well, a single leather jacket that has seen better days. You’re not quite old enough to be a silver fox, but one day, bud. I believe in you. But do itslakjfls fuck grow the beard. Live your best life. 

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For sure. Not that smart to be a full nerd, so more like near-nerd, more-geek for me. They’re like the Bat family: The more, the merrier, I guess. Hmm, would you also recommend the movie? Haven’t seen it myself but my sister won’t stop begging me to. I hear the goat guy’s funny.

That’s fair. Ever had a kid make trouble at the library? How’d you deal with them? Leather jackets over pencil skirts any day, ma’am. Maybe one day we can meet as the stereotypically hot librarian and the stereotypical silver fox? Now imagine if I became the hot librarian. Bestest life ever!

I feel like comic book nerds fall under the category of book nerds, or maybe geeks. You’ll have to forgive me, my, uh, nerd/geek lingo is a little dated, I’m sure. I might also be a little behind. Four Spider-Men? I loved the Percy Jackson series! I read the first set of books when I was younger. I kind of aged with the main character. Maybe that’s what got me into mythology.

It was kind of lonely, yeah. I think my dad had a lot of expectations for me. It was fine, though. I was an anxious child, and I hated being around people, so I was always looking for solitude. I mean, I’ve yet to meet one of those stereotypically hot librarians, so who’s to say. Maybe they’re just as real as the silver foxes.

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It’s all right! I’m not too sure I even know the difference between a nerd and a geek. They’re all very interesting people to me. Might be one myself. I mean, I do have my grandpa’s DVD collection now, so it’s at least only a matter of time. Yeah, I think there were more Spider-Men than just Peter Parker? I at least know Miles Morales and the clone Ben Reilly or was it Ben O’Reilly but that’s about it. Oh, Percy Jackson is a great entry point into that stuff, I think. My sister wasn’t interested before she read that series. Just gotta love the fantasy of having gods as parents instead of what you get. [user has attached an inappropriate laughing emoji]

I’ve actually met one but she turned out to be a nest of bees a lot of work. Then again, we all are. Not a nest of bees but you get the idea. I blame our childhood. Generally speaking, of course. I can barely remember what I was as a child, probably just as annoying and troublesome as I am not, if not more. Don’t you work at a library? Maybe you’re the stereotypically hot librarians. Maybe I could be a silver fox, too! One day, anyway. Just gotta learn to grow a brilliant beard. And live that long.

You’re confusing book nerds with tech nerds. Tech nerds rule the world these days. Book nerds kind of drew the short end of the stick. Without a couple of degrees, book nerds can only get, like, jobs that have nothing to do with their book knowledge. Yeah, you know what they say: those wacky Romans! But yeah, yeah, Greek mythology’s kind of becoming its own thing, really popular with the kids. And the teens. And the adults, actually.

That’s awesome. No, no, I don’t have any siblings. Probably for the best. I, like, wasn’t the easiest kid. Lucky. The glasses are taking some getting used to. Old is the new dad bod? I mean, silver foxes have always been a thing, right?

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Huh. Never really considered the difference, but when you put it that way, I guess I can see it. Are comic book nerds a whole other thing, too? I love those guys, and if I didn’t get flamed online for not knowing the fourth Spider-Man ever or something, I would’ve thought I could be one. My receptionist’s so into this Perky Jackson books, I just found out last week. It’s like Greek mythology but for kids, I think. It’s hard to understand her summary when she’s shouting crazily about the characters like they were a famous band.

I mean, I totally appreciate that, but you’re welcome to call it what it is; hella nerdy. I mean, if you’re remembering the Romans, you’re retaining something! Arthur is British. Like, early, early British, before Anglo-Saxons joined. He was fighting the Saxons, actually. And yeah! Greeks have sagas, legends, whatever you want to call them.

Listen, no one ever tells you how hard to cooking aspect of adulting is. Shit’s hard. But that’s sweet, about your sister. It’s good that she’s supportive. Experience it and the youths, dude. You won’t regret it. Damn, you’re so old lol. Oh, yeah, the back pains are killer. And I need glasses now. Haven’t found a gray hair, though.

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I’d take nerdy over anything else, to be honest. I mean, I should’ve. Way back when. Maybe if I did, maybe if I tried to be more nerdy than whatever I was, life would’ve ended much better. Nerds rule the world these days, and that’s a pretty good thing. I saw this show about Romans a while back, it was more about gladiators and everyone was always fighting and naked but, yeah, I remember they came after Arthur and his knights. Greek mythology is everywhere, too, I think, so it’s pretty...mainstream, I guess?

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Maybe your friend thinks that because they’ve never tried it themselves.  There’s nothing wrong with solitude.  Most of the time it’s less lonely than being with people, because you won’t have to face being let down or left by then.  If alone is the norm, it’s impossible for it to feel disappointing.  

I wanted her to be named something refined.  It’s just too bad her name is where her refinery stops.  She’s an entirely stupid creature, in the most endearing way possible.  Whoever thought stupidity could be endearing?  Not me.  Eh, I suppose.  It’s just always something I’ve enjoyed, honestly.  There’s something peaceful about it.  Like all the thoughts swirling in your head suddenly make sense when you’re allowed to transfer them to canvas.  Or something. Wait- you have silk worms?  I have to be honest, I’m pretty disgusted by that.  Isn’t silk their… excrement?  It’s mostly trash, anyway.  You’re not missing much.  Glad to hear you don’t partake in video games.

Just overwhelmingly average, then? Oh, I could never leave a mess without cleaning it up.  I wouldn’t be able to rest before things were in order.  To be fair, I don’t technically sleep, either, so… I suspect you and I would be poor roommates.

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Hmm, yeah, that sounds about right. If I remember correctly, she’s always with friends. Came from a big family, too. Never really had any opportunity to be alone, or rather never even found herself forced to be alone. I guess that checks out. It only really feels lonely when someone, or something, points it out. Otherwise, it’s just what it is.

Probably everyone who’s ever taken a shine to me. [user attached a laughing emoji] I’m a personification of stupidity being endearing, even though I’ve never really tried to make my stupidity endearing. I only ever try to be endearing, charming, but I guess I’m just brimming with stupidity that I can’t hide it when I want to. That is very cool! Painters are so cool! And hot. Oh, yeah, one of the things I inherited from my grandpa. Yeah, pretty much, I guess. If I remember correctly, though, they drink that in Japan. I’m probably not going to try it out for myself, like make that drink myself, but I’d be willing to try that Japanese drink. Gotta try something at least once, you know?

Overwhelmingly average sounds about right. Maybe, but to be fair, you’d be a dream come true as a roommate. I mean, it would suck for you, cleaning up after a grown human being, but it wouldn’t be for me, since you’d be cleaning up after me. The only thing I can put on that table would be humor, but then again, that’s...pretty subjective, so it wouldn’t be fair of a deal to you. Unless you like fresh honey?

[pm] It is in fact shit. That’s a great way of putting it. It’s just a little neighborhood somewhere nearby. I don’t really know how to get there, so I couldn’t tell you how far it is from White Crest. Yeah, sometimes mothers can be kinder than fathers. Mine wasn’t, though. She used to get into these destructive moods, and the only way to get her out of them was to let her kill the livestock. I don’t think she’s the type to just let a grudge go. I’ve got to make sure I bring her something big, or she might just turn on me! 

That was a joke. But I do need to be careful about how I approach her when I do go back. 

I could definitely cook you something. Living with just a few neighbors has taught me how important it is to help people out when they’re struggling. So if you’re struggling, I want to help you. I think the home-cooked meal would be a good place to start. I’m already in the habit of making things for my human housemate, so it’s not a problem for me to just make some more. I can bring some over if you’re injured. Sorry to hear about your back, by the way. How did it happen? Is there a good time for me to come by? 

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[pm] Oh, you don’t know how to visit your mom? That’s... I won’t lie, that sounds very sad, man. I have this, uhh, office van I can drive you with, but I don’t know where that place is either, so I’m really sorry. I mean, to be fair, I haven’t talked to my parents for a while, ever since I ran away from home, but I keep in touch with my sister. Family’s a pain in the ass but it has its moments. Wait, kill the livestock? Man... Maybe, uhm, it’s not my place, but, maybe she should see a doctor about that? Might help.

Oh, wait... [user lets out a sigh of relief] She can be a violent person? Even to her son? Might still try to get some medical help. I mean, I’m not the best spokesman for that, since I’ve avoided medical help, mostly because when I can’t afford it, but it can really be helpful or something.

That’s very nice of you, man. I just recently picked up a tenant, so she’s helping me with my finances. Somewhat. She can’t cook, though, which is a bit of a let-down, so I’m down for that home-cooked meal. Gotta try something once at least, right? Healing it now but it’s still occasionally mildly painful. Just, uhm, a disagreement and I, uhh, slipped, so... Broke my back a bit. Oh, sure, you ever been to the Outskirts? Saturday should be fine, if you’re down? I live in the weird residence with the pool and box-like house. [user has attached his address] Can’t miss it.

Not to get, like, super fucking nerdy, but King Arthur actually predates the Anglo-Saxons. He even predates the Roman occupation of Britain. He has Welsh origins, but most well-known versions of the myths place him as an British king that fought off the invading Saxons. And, like, the sagas are sort of… family tales, in a sense. Some people use them to track the lineages, though there’s a lot of fiction involved in them. I personally like Egil’s Saga? Like, it’s not typical and kind of funny in places.

Food post, huh? I need all the help I can get with cooking, sometimes. Like, I was on it for a few minutes, but then couldn’t take it. Way too much. Okay, hey, I’m not that old. I’m 23 27 28? why is this so hard 28. Which, I mean, I feel older. I wonder if exorcisms negatively effect the body in a physical no I know they do.

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Oh, wow! Not super fucking nerdy at all! Pretty amazing, in my most honest opinion. Always love new information on this front but my brain’s too small to retain these things, so it’s probably going to reset back to me thinking they’re on the same period of something. I do remember the part about the Romans being much later though, for some reason I don’t even know. Must be the dragons before the Christ thing. Wait, so is Arthur Welsh or British? Or is he both? Greeks have sagas, right? Or am I being dumb again? [user has attached a laughing emoji to hide his insecurity behind]

Oh- I hadn’t realize there were ties cut before you came here.  So you’ve had QUITE the life changes then lately, it seems.  I mean, I agree that you should know your limits, but knowing your limits doesn’t mean counting yourself out unnecessarily. You’re plenty smart, I can tell.  Oh, a tenant… that must be a nice way to make money.  I don’t know if I’d have it in me to be a landlord.  I’ll look forward to it!

If you feel connected to him through them, maybe you should keep them with you for now.  I need to do research to see if chunks of an old man’s soul can be trapped within VHS tapes.  I think people experience all types of things in White Crest, so it’s not super far fetched to think you might be experiencing something someone else has gone through.  I can ask around to see if anyone else has heard of it, maybe it’ll help solve your little mystery!

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I mean, it was inevitable. The way I was living? Those ties were going to get cut either way. That’s one way of seeing it. Thanks, that’s... I don’t get that a lot, being called smart, so I’ll take it when I can! [user has attached a laughing emoji] I’ve actually been working on getting a tenant for the past couple of weeks since my grandpa’s house is way too big just for myself and a couple of dust bunnies, but yeah, being a landlord can be quite taxing. Still not sure whether all this exhausting work and back pain is worth not being lonely, though.

Hmm, that’s a pretty interesting thought, though I guess that’s not wrong. He’s dead for a while, but I guess he’s still haunting me for some reason. Maybe it’s just me who needs to move on asap. Do you know anyone in the same headspace? Or do I just sound like one of those people who take years to move forward? God, I hope not. Would definitely suck. That would be wonderful, a lot of help, and I appreciate it!

I’m really into a lot of mythologies, but I studied Norse pretty heavily in college. Celtic, too, but some of that was tied in with Anglo-Saxon literature as a sort of regional study. I’m also big into Icelandic sagas. You know? You’re right. As long as I’m doing good. That’s, like, what matters.

I think the tediousness is the main problem. TikTok? Even that’s a little too modern to me. I don’t know. I don’t wanna get on there as someone in my late twenties and, like, get run off by the kiddos with their weird dances and slang and shit. I don’t need to feel old. I think I had a midlife crisis starting college.

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Anglo-Saxon’s the King Arthur stuff, right? I’m not that great with literature, to be honest. I mean, outside of the mainstream stuff at least. Didn’t even know Icelandic sagas are different from Norse mythology. What’s a great starting point for someone new like me?

Yeah, I guess that’s fair. I know, right? I tried browsing it once but most of it is weird. The food posts are pretty good, though. My grandpa’s receptionist uses it all the time, even at work. Says she’s using it to promote the business but I don’t know. It just looks like a pretty chaotic place to me. Maybe I’m just as old as you, though. May not be a bad thing. Youth is wasted on the young.

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Yes, and I’d like to keep it that way.  I think you just have to deal with them, truthfully.  Nothing will make the hard things better, so there’s no point in looking for that betterment to come.  It’s just buck up and move on, I guess.  Admittedly easier said than done, but it’s what works for me.  If you asked someone else, they would suggest therapy.  I don’t believe in that.

Oh, Winnifred is a great protector, too.  And she’s pretty entertaining, if I’m being completely transparent.  Don’t let my enemies know how amusing I find it when she chases her tail. I spend a lot of my free time painting, gardening, or reading, mostly.  But I do watch some television, too.  What do you do in your free time, besides sleep through movies?

That sounds extremely specific.  And it sounds like a problem.  Is your home overwhelmingly dirty, bug man? Is your mind dirty and cluttered?  Doesn’t it make you feel bad and wrong to leave messes sitting for days upon days?

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A friend of mine once told me that’s a lonely way to live, and some days I think I can agree with her, but there’s really nothing I can do. Even if I try to reach out, I guess being alone is just my fate, you know? It just is what it is. Yeah, I agree: Therapy’s just going to be more expenses for me, and I can’t risk spending for nothing. I can’t even afford it.

I love how your dog’s name is Winnifred. It’s not a name I hear or read often, so it’s a breath of fresh air. That’s a pretty cute imagery. I wonder what goes on in their heads when they’re chasing their tails. Painting? That’s pretty cool! You must be one of the artsy types. That’s really cool. Me? I guess, uhh, read and check on my bees for honey and sometimes silk worms for, well, silk. I don’t even watch television that much. Just takes too much of my time. Can’t sit in one place for too long.

I mean, it’s not overwhelmingly clean but that’s how the dust bunnies love it it’s not that overwhelmingly dirty either. I can’t speak the same for my mind, though. It’s, uhh, a work of progress up there. Not days, jeez. Just hours. I usually have a laundry day, which is on Saturdays. That’s the best day to clean up, mostly because I get busy on weekdays and Sundays are rest days. What about you? Don’t you get too busy to clean up right away or something?

A genius? Lmao, nah. I just look at the squiggly lines and hope for the best. Oh, hey, I love Gaiman! His Norse Gods is a really good collection of stories and a great way to get into the mythology even though I didn’t have it when I was studying Norse mythology and it’s kind of new for someone whose body was being used for crime during 2017 but He’s great. Fun is a word, but it’s nice. I don’t have anywhere else to go

Godspeed, pilgrim. But, hey, no problem with that. Honestly, sometimes tech can be complicated as fuck. I am feel like I’m missing out a couple of years of figuring some of this shit out.

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Squiggly lines! [user has attached a laughing emoji] Oh, I should definitely check that out then. I’ve only been reading his short story anthologies. You’re really into Norse mythology, aren’t you? Nice isn’t that bad. As long as you’re doing good then.