Pure Imagination

Julius’ grin only got wider and he nodded his head firmly. “Even if you’d bring ten, I’m sure none of us would mind that.” He did notice how she stumbled a bit with mentioning the possible girlfriend, but Julius decided not to mention it. It wasn’t his place to question people about their girlfriends or boyfriends. Especially when he didn’t even have anyone himself. “Well, then this plan of a meet up is even better! You get to hang out with people and make new friends. And I promise I’m not going to invite you to some industrial area to murder you”, he laughed. Julius definitely was the least murderer-y person ever, but good to mention it anyway!

“Oh, good to know,” Grace said with a grin, “Though I have to admit, I really don’t think I even have ten friends.” She was generally too crass to attract too many people at once, if she were being honest with herself. “That might be a bad idea, yeah,” Grace laughed, eyes crinkling at the corners as she grinned. “Murdering a cop probably isn’t the safest bet.” She tapped her bicep, not even bothering to flex. “I’m trained to fight off murderers, you know.” She was mostly joking, but she definitely knew she could handle herself in a fight, should it come down to it. “Also, pretty sure that’s exactly what a murderer would say, but you know. I’ll let it slide.”

Alyssa: soo i know i said i was going to call you later.

Alyssa: buut. i have a 24 hour stream going and like. that could be...weird.

Alyssa: so um. i figured i could just. text you instead. if that's okay.

Grace: lmao, it's fine. what are you streaming?

Grace: i could just come over if that's easier?

“I’m sure we’ll figure out a fitting day”, he assured. After all, he and his friends hanged out quite often so surely there would come a day when Grace would be able to join them. Julius took his phone back, wrote a quick message to Grace’s number so she’ll have his number as well and then put the phone back in his pocket. “Of course! The more the merrier”, he said with a wide smile. “Besides, who doesn’t like making new friends?”

“Good deal,” she said with a firm nod of her head. She was looking forward to it. Grace considered herself an introvert, but sometimes she genuinely enjoyed going out with a fun group of people. “Ah, awesome,” she said with a grin. “It won’t be too many people. Maybe one or two. My sister, maybe, or this girl I’m seeing.” She wasn’t quite sure what to call Alyssa yet, so she stuttered a bit over her words. Frowning, she shook it off. “Damn straight though. Making new friends is kind of the best? It’ll be good, I think. I haven’t really hung out with anyone new for a good while.”

Grace: Hey, so, good news.

“Yeah, that…that makes sense. Soulmates just…I don’t know. It seems so dumb to think that someone out there that’s perfect,” she agreed with a soft shrug. It was a nice thought, that maybe someone really was out there that was put there just for her, but Alyssa didn’t think the universe worked that easily. Relationships were work, they didn’t just get handed to you like some perfect fairytale romance. “It would totally be my luck that if soulmates are real mine is like. In Antarctica or something. Somewhere I’d never meet them. And I’d just be alone the rest of my life.” It was probably a fortunate thing that the concept was complete bogus. There were probably plenty of people out there that could work for anyone, it was just a matter of finding someone you were willing to make the effort for. Face twisting up, Alyssa shrugged, not sure of the answer herself. She’d like to think that if she wanted to grab that much cash she would be able to just for the video, but she had a feeling it wouldn’t be quite so easy. “Probably won’t, but I might try. I’ve kind of always wanted to sit in a pile of money.” She’d worked hard for it, so it was something she definitely thought she deserved to at least try. “But um…yeah, I think….probably the mom friend. Yeah.”

“I know,” Grace agreed with a nod of her head. “Everyone seems to believe in them, you know? That someone out there is a perfect fit in every way, and it just...it just seems like a fairy tale to me.” It would be great, sure, but it was just so unrealistic, and put shit in people’s heads. Snorting, Grace tossed her hands up. “Right though? Fucking same. Knowing me I’d just never meet them ever. They’d be hanging out in fucking Mongolia or something, nowhere that I could realistically go. Good thing they’re ten thousand percent not real. I think I kind of prefer just...making it work with someone anyway. Finding someone you like and putting in the effort. I don’t think I’d want to just wait around for someone perfect to find me.” People weren’t perfect, so by extension, relationships weren’t either. “Sit in a pile of money?” Grace asked with a laugh, “I mean, oddly specific fetish, but I’m into it.” She was teasing, of course, hoping to watch Alyssa’s cheeks turn bright pink. “Hey, nothing wrong with that,” Grace said with a grin, “The mom friend is integral to every friend group. I appreciated the mom friend in college. I was a bonafide disaster.”

“You definitely have the napping talent then”, he chuckled and then just grinned. “I’m sure my friends wouldn’t mind having a new friend around. Hey, actually”, Julius pulled his phone out and offered it towards Grace. “Give me your number and I’ll call you or send a message when we’re hanging out so you can join if you have the time.” Julius always liked making new friends and he was sure Grace was a good nut and they would have fun. Surely they just met, but Julius also met a lot of people because of his job and he was quite sure he was pretty skilled with knowing who was a good person and who wasn’t.

Grace grinned, genuine excitement sparking across her expression. “You’re on,” she laughed, entering in her name and number into his phone. “I’ll have to work it around my schedule, I work a fair few night shifts but...I’ve been with the department a while, so I’ll have some leeway.” She could at least trade shifts with one of the newbies. They’d normally do anything to be liked. “Would it be cool if I brought maybe one person with me?” Her thoughts went to Alyssa, but if that wasn’t her thing, she’d see if Sage, or Danica or River wanted to tag along.

“Sort of. I guess. Okay, that sounds a little dumb when you put it that way, but you know what I mean,” she shrugged. Maybe it wasn’t something that held true, but it was a nice thought for Alyssa anyway. If something could be perfect even with flaws, it gave her some hope for herself. Biting her lower lip, Alyssa let her head thud against the couch before shrugging. “I hope so. I…well, I don’t know if I believe that there’s one perfect person out there. But, I think that you can grow with someone to be perfect for each other.” There would always be kinks in a relationship, that was just natural, but it was how you handled them and grew through them that made something what it was. “I guess that kind of…goes back to the perfect relationship thing. I dunno. Do you think there’s someone perfect out there for you?” Alyssa wasn’t sure, exactly yet, what it all would mean, but she at least had hope that someone out there would work for her. Smile lifting at her lips, Alyssa tapped a finger against her thigh with a brief nod. “You know what, that’s actually kind of a cool idea. Can I get that much in cash? Like, that would be a really cool video for my channel.” She couldn’t imagine that being possible, but…if it was, it would be a pretty damn awesome video to make up. “It’s the best I could do. I have to kind of babysit some of my crew.”

“I know what you mean,” Grace laughed, shaking her head. “I’m just the worst at like...saying shit, basically.” She really wasn’t the most delicate of people, and that extended to talking about feelings. Which, admittedly, Grace hated doing. She was trying though. She was just...dumb. “I think I’m the same way,” Grace admitted. “Like...I don’t believe in soulmates, you know? Like one perfect person that will fit in a way no one else has. I think...I think there’s lots of people out there that you can be happy with. Lots of people you can grow with, you know? It’s just a matter of finding someone that you can click and grow with. I don’t know if that makes sense.” She just didn’t believe that one single person was supposed to make you happier than anyone else. Anyone in a relationship had the capability to bring happiness, Grace thought. The soulmate thing was bullshit, in her opinion. “I think you click with other people more than others, but I just...I don’t think there’s a single person in the world that you’re supposed to find. Like...how are you supposed to do that if you’re born in the US and your soulmate’s in fucking...Mongolia or some shit, you know?” Pausing, Grace took a moment to think, biting her lower lip. “I...actually have no idea? I can’t imagine you couldn’t. The money’s yours, the bank can’t monopolize it, I don’t think. I’m not sure they’ll let you make a mass withdrawal like that but...” Laughing, Grace pressed forward, pressing a kiss at the corner of Alyssa’s mouth. “Oh my god, you’re totally the mom friend, aren’t you?”

“I don’t understand how people are able to take naps. The only time when I take naps is when I’m extremely tired and you can actually count it as sleeping instead of napping.” In Julius’ case taking a nap would mean a long night sleep because if he started to sleep he would sleep until he had slept the needed eight or nine hours. “I don’t think it’s weird not to like coffee. I have many friends who doesn’t like the scent or taste of coffee at all. I think the only reason why I have started to drink coffee was back in the day when I was still at school and had to stay awake while reading to tests. So now coffee works as my main source of energy.”

“Oh, no kidding?” she asked, genuinely surprised. “See, I can nap. I don’t do it very often, but I can. I can just nap when I’m bored,” she said with a snort. She’d done it before. Long stretches of time with nothing to do made Grace check out. “Ah, no kidding?” Grace asked, laughing, “See, I swear, people treat me like a pariah for not liking the stuff. My sister drinks it all the time and just...yuck. I can drink it if I have to, but god I just...don’t like the stuff. Don’t like the smell either. Apparently I need to hang out with your friends.” She nodded in understanding though, running a hand over her face. “Oof, no kidding right? I don’t miss the college days. I pulled so many all nighters. I never needed coffee though. I guess I just kind of naturally have high energy.”

Alyssa certainly hoped that Grace was good at sticking around. So far, it seemed to be the case, but she was still expecting her to leave at any moment. “I think…well, I think maybe there is such a thing as a perfect relationship. It’s…I mean, obviously no relationship is ever going to be without problems and struggles and all that, but the imperfections kind of make it what it is? And that’s…pretty perfect when you get it right and manage to make it work despite any issues.” It was, perhaps, the optimist’s version of what Grace was trying to say. She knew it would take work, would be a constant struggle, but if the other person was worth it, then all of those things didn’t seem quite as daunting. Alyssa’s lips pursed together as she nodded, glad that at least Grace seemed to be on the same page with where they were potentially headed. It was still early, things could still go to hell, but for not it felt like they were in a good direction. “I…you know, I don’t know. It was split between us, so it’s not like…I get the whole thing of it, but um. I dunno. Buy a Taco Bell. Or a sturdier apartment door. Haven’t thought about it.” It was a lot of money, a crazy amount for just one event, but it wasn’t life changing necessarily. Alyssa was doing incredibly well for herself without it, after all. “But oh, yeah. No. It was just…you know. I had a drink? So that’s…pretty wild.”

It was an optimistic view of things, but not to the extreme. Alyssa’s explanation, at least, made more sense to Grace than anything else. “I guess I can see that,” she agreed, “Like...loving someone despite the imperfections kind of...makes it perfect for the relationship?” She furrowed her brows, giving a brisk shake of her head. “That was the worst way to explain that, but I’m a dumbass, so it’s the best I got,” she laughed. “Honestly though...do you think like...there’s a perfect person out there for you then?” It wasn’t meant to be deep, Grace was curious. It was a roundabout way to ask her opinion on soulmates, but that was alright, she thought. Her face fell into an expression of pure disbelief before Grace groaned. “Oh my god, Alyssa, no, you cannot buy a Taco Bell. It will only fuel your bad habit,” she teased. Well. Half teased, anyway. “A sturdier apartment door is probably a good idea. Maybe just toss it into savings, if there’s nothing you want. Like an emergency fund or something? I don’t know, I don’t think I’ve ever even seen that much money.” She’d certainly never had it herself. Her job didn’t pay that well. “One whole drink, huh?” she asked, amused, “That does sound pretty crazy. Absolutely wild, really.”

Alyssa didn’t really know that there was something Grace could do to help her work on it. It was something she had to do for herself, she knew that, much as she wished it were different. “I…don’t think there is, it’s…okay, though. It’s…good just having you around, um. It helps,” she shrugged. Having someone that cared about her, that thought she was worth something, even if it didn’t fix it, it made things just a bit better. Grace was right, there would always be things they both screwed up on, but that was okay. They could still work through it, find a way to make the relationship function. “That…no, it’s…it’s okay if things aren’t perfect, I don’t…really think there’s such a thing as a perfect relationship, but um. I think…maybe it’ll be close.” Alyssa hadn’t been in a relationship since moving to Orlando, had probably never been in a very functional relationship at all, so she knew that all of this would be new for her, something she had to get used to. But, for Grace, she felt that maybe it was all worth the trouble. Her lips lifted in a smile, glad that thing seemed to be back on track. They were talking about things now, which would only make things easier as they tried to move forward together. “Oh, uh…aside from winning eleven million dollars? Not really. It was all business and then…well, we went out and celebrated? That was…wild.” Alyssa’s nose wrinkled as she laughed a bit. “And then…you know, I came back here and…yeah. Nothing like…super exciting, I guess.”

“Okay,” Grace said, cheeks warming with the compliment. It had been a while since she’d seriously blushed. “Well, I’m pretty good at sticking around, generally speaking,” she teased. “I am so glad you said that,” Grace groaned, flopping back against Alyssa’s couch. Cooper attempted to follow her up, but she sighed, pushing him resolutely back down. “That there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship, I mean. So many people think there is?” She shook her head. “Maybe it’s a pessimistic view of things but like...people aren’t perfect, and they fuck up. I think that thinking that a perfect relationship is just going to like...be without work is...nuts.” They took work, and a lot of blood sweat and tears, regardless of how compatible two people were for each other. Outside factors were a bitch. “I think so too though,” she said more softly, “I mean...I think we can...I think we can be really good.” Now was the time to ask to be official, but Grace chickened out. She wanted to wait a few days. This conversation was emotionally charged as is. “I saw,” Grace laughed, “But god, eleven million dollars. That is just...what even are you going to do with all that money?” Quirking a brow, Grace cocked her head to the side, laughing. “Wild, huh? Good wild, I hope? Nothing super exciting though, please. You won a huge tournament. That is totally exciting.”

Generally speaking, Alyssa disagreed entirely about it, but she didn’t really want to argue the point either with Grace. It was one of those things that they could talk in circles all day about, but probably wouldn’t agree on. At least, not yet. Someday, it was possible, perhaps, that she would gain some self-confidence and really believe that Grace felt that way about her. “No, it - the phrasing was…it was fine, just. I don’t know. I guess I just don’t feel like I have a lot to offer,” she shrugged, chewing at her lip. “I’m working on that, though. I am.” It was a long process that Alyssa had struggled with for years and she knew it was just a matter of finding a way to love and appreciate herself. Pursing her lips together, Alyssa nodded towards Grace. It was a mature way, she felt, to handle what had happened. Both of them were accepting partial responsibility and both of them, she hoped, wanted to move past it and correct the situation. “Well, that - thank you. I…apology accepted.” Much as Alyssa wanted to deny that Grace needed to apologize, sometimes she knew that it was best to just compromise and find a way to make things work out. The comment from Grace about Alyssa maybe not wanting to get serious had Alyssa about to interject immediately, her mouth opening to comment before Grace held up a hand. Alyssa let her head drop a bit, nodding slowly. “That…no, yeah, it um. I do, you know…I do want this to become…something serious. You’re…I just…I can see something here, I guess, um. And it’s…kind of scary and I…know that maybe sometimes I’ll screw up, but…I want to try. So, yeah, that…that sounds like a deal. Anything comes up, we just…be open and honest.”

Her mouth was open to interject nearly immediately, but she snapped it shut again with Alyssa’s proclamation. Sighing, she nodded her head. “Okay,” she said, frowning. “Okay. I...want to help you work on it, but I don’t think I really know how. So I guess just...if there’s anything I can do?” It seemed lame, how Grace had offered, but she really wasn’t sure what else to do. She couldn’t fix this for Alyssa, unfortunately. “I can too,” she agreed, a hesitant smile slipping across her face. “See something, I mean. And honestly? I think we’ll both kind of...screw up. I think that’s jut how these things tend to work.” They’d already established not dating other people during this time, which was good, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t fuck up in other ways. “It’s been...it’s been a long time since I actually tried to...make anything serious,” she admitted haltingly, cheeks reddening. “I’m good with people, but I haven’t...I haven’t made an effort in quite a while.” Since college, if she were being honest, but admitting that out loud made her sound like a commitment-phobe. Which, unfortunately, wasn’t entirely incorrect. “So I’m pretty...I think I’ll screw up too, and I think...I think that’s okay.” It was unrealistic to have a picture perfect romance, Grace thought. Real people didn’t work like that. At least...not in her experience. “Good though,” she said with a sigh, “I feel better now.” Leaning forward, she pressed a swift kiss to the corner of Alyssa’s mouth. “So...tell me about the time out of town. Did you do anything neat?” she asked, wincing as Cooper chose that moment to ram his paw into her diaphragm.

“Agreed”, he replied with a shake of his head. Surely he wouldn’t be angry at his friend for long, but right now he was grumpy about this. Julius chuckled and glanced behind him towards the building where he lived in. “I could sleep, that’s for sure, but at the same time I’m doubting would I be able to sleep since I’m already up and out.” He took the offered hand and gave a firm handshake. “Julius. I think coffee would be the best solution right now and I won’t say no if you want to offer me one.”

“That’s fair,” Grace agreed with a nod. “I’m like that too. Once I actually get up and get moving, I can’t generally go back to sleep. Not even for a nap or something. My circadian rhythm is strong as hell.” She tended to get up at the same time every day, no matter what time she’d gone to bed. Laughing, Grace nodded. “You’re on. I’ll grab a coffee for you and a water for myself. It’s weird, but I don’t actually like coffee that much?” She got a lot of odd looks for that one, but she’d just...never gotten the appeal.

Alyssa’s eyes flickered up when Grace got in closer, but ultimately she didn’t move at all, staying where she had settled on the couch as Grace started speaking. While it was true, sure, that everyone had their less desirable traits, Alyssa didn’t find that it detracted from Grace at all. Not like herself, where she felt her bad qualities completely masked anything that could be considered remotely good. “It - mm. Yeah, there…may be some bad qualities there, but they don’t…seem to matter so much with you. Like, with me it’s…they’re all just…right out there front and center, it’s…not so easy to embrace them.” Grace could be loud and bullish about certain things, but it had never been something that had turned Alyssa off to her, just something that worked in with her personality. Her eyes dropped down to her lap at the compliments, teeth gnashing together nervously. “But I guess it’s…that’s not really…the point of what we were talking about anyway,” she mumbled back with a half shake of her head. Getting to the point where she could accept compliments like that would take time. “But, no - it, no…I was um. I was paying…attention, okay. Okay.” Alyssa’s energy was nervous, chaotic, trying to come down to a point where she could really focus and just talk to Alyssa. In times like this, where her brain was all over the place, it was often hard for her to really focus on what she needed to. “It…you don’t need to apologize, though, it’s…I think it was kind of both of our faults to an extent that um…that things ended…ended up the way that they did. I’m uh…obviously not…really great at all of this myself, it’s…no surprise there. I get uh…spooked? I guess? Easily. And just…I didn’t uh…didn’t mean to get weird with it, I’m still just…getting used to the idea that uh…that maybe you’re actually like…kinda serious with all of…this,” she gestured vaguely between them, not sure what to call it yet even. “I think uh…maybe it’s…all something we can um…we can work on together, though, maybe.” 

“I don’t think they’re all out front and center,” she said with a furrow of her brow. “I think...well. I think I’m in the same boat as you. Just because you’ve got less than desirable qualities in there too, it doesn’t detract from the overall package.” She wrinkled her nose, giving a brisk shake of her head. “That’s like the worst phrasing, but you know what I mean.” Frowning again as Alyssa seemed to push the topic aside, Grace sighed, unsure of what to say. She didn’t want to keep pushing, not really, but she also didn’t want to just let this fall to the wayside either. She wanted to let Alyssa know that she was perfectly desirable in many ways, and to many different people. It seemed counterproductive to do that though, if Grace was the one wanting to date her. That seemed like a topic for another day. “No,” she muttered, mostly to herself, “But the point of a conversation can change.” Shaking her head, Grace set her jaw, moving in closer. “No, I do need to apologize. Because instead of just talking to you like I should have, I did what I did. And sure, we’re both kind of at fault, I think, but that doesn’t mean I don’t owe you an apology.” Grace was a firm believer in owning her shit, and she wasn’t about to let herself off the hook for this one. “But listen...if you don’t want to get serious with it...I’m okay with that, you know? I’ll need to take some time to kind of get myself in the headspace for it, but I’m not going to be a dick about it either.” She held her hands up to silence her before Alyssa could interject. “I don’t think that’s what’s going on here, but...I just want to reassure you of that. You can change your mind, or tell me no or whatever without fear of me turning into a huge ass.” Heaving a sigh, she nodded her head. “I think...I think that’s a good plan though. Just to...to figure it out together. I think...I think we should make a deal to talk about it if anything bothers us, okay? Like...right when it does.”

Julius scratched his head, tried not to yawn which made his facial expression look really weird. The brown eyes looked at the woman who had stopped – or well, jogged in place right now in front of him – and his brow raised a bit at the question. “Vacation?” he asked from the blonde, not understanding why she was asking such in the first place. But after few seconds the light bulb above his head lit and he couldn’t help but laugh a bit. “Ah, no, I’m not a tourist. I’m just a guy who likes to use his only day off by sleeping long, but thanks to my friend I couldn’t do that and now he even cancelled the plans. So that’s why I look like some lost zombie on the streets.”

Whistling low, Grace winced, shaking her head. “That sucks man. Unreliable people are a pain in the ass?” That was one thing Grace hated. People who flaked, especially so late in the plans. Taking the time to get ready only to have the plans cancelled? No wonder this guy looked so grumpy. She stopped her jogging, standing flat on her feet with her hands on her hips. “Plus side, you can go back home and crash now. Nothing better than waking up only to realize you can go back to bed, right?” She grinned, wiping her palm against her shorts and offering it out to him. “I’m Grace. I’d be happy to treat you to a coffee if you want. Might be counterproductive if you’re heading back home to crash though.”

“Oh gross.. Those too.. They’re terrifying” she admitted and smiled at Sage hugging the girl hello and goodbye at the same time before going off with Grace. “Well wasn’t that easy” she laughed before ordering an uber. “So where are we off to officer” she winked.

“They’re my least fucking favorite thing in the world,” she admitted, wrinkling her nose. “I got bitten by one as a kid and just...nah man.” Shrugging her shoulders, she nodded her head. “Sage is always good for babysitting duties. Buuuut, why don’t we head to Icebar? That shit’s always cool. No pun intended.”

The fact that Grace didn’t get it, didn’t see that Alyssa was so inferior in every way was something that Alyssa just didn’t understand. From where she was standing, it was such an obvious thing that she had no idea how to convey it in a way Grace would understand if she didn’t already. “It’s – mm,” she went to speak, cutting herself off with a frown as she ran her hands through her hair in a clear frustration. It seemed so simple to her, but somehow it was so hard to put into words just how little she thought of herself. After taking a few anxious paces, Alyssa went over to Grace, sitting on the couch as Grace asked of her. She curled herself up, sitting criss cross on one of the cushions. Her body language was drawn inward, though she was trying her best to stay open and inviting so Grace knew that she was trying. “You…you’re just this wonderful, charismatic, gorgeous person and I’m…this. You can go out and talk to people and you have a badass job where you save lives and it’s so, so easy for people to fall for you and - there’s just…no way that there’s anything about me that could even remotely  make it possible that I’m anywhere near that level,” Alyssa explained, her words coming out rushed as she tried her best to explain it. Long story short, Grace had every reason for people to fall in love with her and Alyssa, well, she just didn’t see anything in herself worth loving. As many positive strides she’d made over the years since leaving her family, she just wasn’t fully there yet when it came to understanding that she wasn’t some horrid waste of a life. “But, right - right, um. What…what was the…the other part I should…have responded to?” 

She was no expert on body language reading by any means, but even Grace could see that she was closing off a little. Even though things weren’t stellar between them at the moment, Grace couldn’t just stand for that. She leaned forward, giving her enough space to not crowd, but close enough to make it well known that she was there. “So?” she said after a beat, adjusting her position to move closer. “So what? Sure, I’ve got a decent job and I have good skills when it comes to talking to people, but that doesn’t mean you’re any less desirable than I am, you know that right?” She frowned, sitting back and running her hands through her hair. “I have all those good qualities, but I’ve also got bad qualities too. I’m not this paragon of virtue, Alyssa, I have flaws. I know I have flaws.” She was stubborn to the point of bullheadedness and crass, she was quick to anger...there was plenty of bad to even out the good. “It’s just a matter of finding someone who can deal with both. But you...you’re smart, and funny and you have this resilience that take me aback every time. You have good qualities too, Alyssa, it’s just a matter of you accepting them.” She leaned forward, pressing a kiss to her cheek just to drive her point home. “Well...” Grace said, “I guess...literally any of the rest of it? Or did you kind of blank out from that point on?” she asked with a laugh.