Grace And Frankie Week

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Pre-series one shot @graceandfrankieweek

She sits at the shore line, surrounded by all the things that should be helping to make sense of everything, but right now the fog in her mind is too dense to see through. She can’t find the answer she seeks in herself and she’s prayed to every God and Goddess she can think of, still no answer has come to her. She stares out over the ocean not really seeing it, not really seeing anything other than the pain on her sons face as he begged not to go, as he cursed and screamed for her to not make him go. Coyote had slipped too far down now that rabbit hole for her to help now. She tried when it first started but now, well now it was just too late. She takes a deep breath and usually the salt in the air helps soothe her but it does nothing but wish she had picked someplace eles to go to. She always comes here, to the beach house when the world becomes too much. When life gets a little more complicated than it needs to be. When trouble shows it’s face, she runs here. She’s not sure why, it just feels like this is where she belongs.

From the corner of her eye she seems a slim shadow coming down the beach. It’s not Sol, he’s still at the treatment center or maybe he’s back at the office. She’s not sure about how much time has passed since she arrived here. It’s not Babe, she is off in Thialand right now, cleansing herself and for a moment she wishes she was with her. Bathing in some hot spring and letting her worries melt from her. As the shadow comes closer she can start to make out the image and she’s shocked. Grace is slowly making her way down the beach to her. Her blonde hair floating in the breeze. She can almost make out her blue eyes with each step she takes.

She envies Grace sometimes. Not all the time but sometimes, like right now. The woman found a way to block the world out. To not let the emotions of the outside world affect her. She hides behind her martini glass, somewhere between sobriety and addiction. She’s settled nicely into a groove that no one really worries about her drinking but no one really notices it. Frankie notices and she worries that Grace may slip down that same rabbit hole as Coyote, lost to help until it’s too late. She worries that she may be sitting here again one day trying to find the answers to help the woman now well within sight of her.

“Hey.” Grace says softly as she comes to the blanket. “I hope you don’t mind..”

“No it’s fine. I was just thinking.” Frankie sighs as she moves over offering Grace a place to sit on the blanket.

“Thanks.” Grace take her place on the blanket. Her legs bent at the knee and she can’t help but watch as Grace pulls her legs close, like she’s shielding herself from the world or the feelings she about to feel. “Robert told me. I’m sorry Frankie. I really thought Coyote was doing better.” Her voice is soft and low. No sharp edges, venom, or ice. She looks over at Grace and she can see the softness around her almost. Like her own sharp edges have been dulled for this conversation.

“I did too but I guess that just goes to show how much I can miss.” She sighs copying Grace’s gesture of drawing her knees up to her chest. She wants to shield the ache in her from coming out. Grace may be nice enough to come here, but the last thing Frankie wants to do is break down in front of her. “I know I’m no role model. Hell I’m far from an angel but this is too much. I don’t get his need for it. I don’t. I’ve asked him time and time again why? Why he’s doing it? Why he needs it? and all I get from him is he doesn’t need it and he can quit anytime. Yet, here we are, another trip to rehab.” Frankie lets her shoulders drop as she rest her head on her arms. She keeps her eyes on the ocean, daring not to look at Grace. She’s heard her remarks about her drug use being linked to Coyote’s problem. She knows how Grace is, she can just imagine the talk she’ll have with her country club friends about this.

She waits for a reply from Grace but then she wonders if Grace even heard her as she looks over to see those blue eyes scanning the water before them. She turns her head back to do the same. She’s ready to say nevermind and just sit in silence, waiting for an answer to come to her. “This is his own fight. The only thing that we can really do is just be there for him when he’s ready to take it on.” For a moment Frankie wonders if maybe she made up the words in her head. Maybe the Goddess has finally answered her and she’s confusing it for Grace speaking. “He’s not going to kick his habit unitl he’s ready to.” Frankie sighs as she feels Grace move a little closer.

“Am I a faliure as a mother?” There it is, that weight she’s felt for years now. Since the day she welcomed her boys into her life. That fear of failing them in everyway finally found it’s voice. She can’t stop the tears from rolling from her eyes now and for a moment she feels Grace tense next to her. If Frankie has to guess, Grace would up and leave at any minute.

“Far from it. You’re an amazing mother. You’re definetly a better mother than me. Your boys worship you and my girls adore you.” Grace’s words are soft as Frankie feels Grace move even closer now and the feel of her arm around her shoulder is a comfort she never expected. “This isn’t about you Frankie. This is the stuff he’s dealing with. Whatever it is that’s making him use, isn’t your fault.” She really wants to find solace in Grace’s words and deep down she knows Grace is right but that fear of failing her boys has a death grip on her.

“I know you’re right but I can’t help but feel like there’s more that I can do or say to help him.” She sighs trying to ease the ache coming from deep within her. She stops and closes her eyes, her mind racing with all the things that could go wrong. “I don’t want to lose him.” Her words come out broken and small, scattering around them as she lets herself hurt. Her tears stream down her face as folds into herself just a little. Grace doesn’t say a word, she just tightens her hold, and pulls her closer.

Seconds or maybe minutes pass until Frankie calms her sobs. Sitting up she brings her hands up to dry her dampened cheeks. Her eyes still blurring but the tears have slowed now. Grace still has a tight hold on her and as Frankie turns slowly she notices the tears in her eyes. “I don’t know what I would do it if were one of my girls but I’ve watched Coyote grow up with them. I’m sorry Frankie. I wish I could make it all better. I really do.” Grace sighs as her free hand comes up to wipe her own tears away. “He’s going to be okay. I know that. He has the best parents in the world, Bud, and even my girls. Not sure how much help Brianna would be but Mallory likes him. Plus there’s Robert and me. He’s going to get through this Frankie. I just know it.”

Frankie knows she’s heard Grace but as she looks back at the ocean. She wonders if maybe she’s been to harsh on Grace. If maybe somehow through all the picking and complaining, she’s somehow missed this Grace. The Grace next to her, being the saving grace she needs right now. Grace’s words are right, she knows that this will just take time. That Coyote needs to find his reasons to stop and accept the help he has all around him. Silently she sends a prayer up and out. Praying that her son finds his way in the world and finds the sobriety he needs. “Thank you.” She smiles over at Grace and watches as the corner of her move curves up.

coming out

Short one shot for Grace and Frankie week.

Written for Grace and Frankie Week - Day 1 - Soulmate AU. I am, as ever, slightly late to the party.

Grace is seventy years old and her world is neutral.

Not black and white. It’s not like she doesn’t love anyone and no one loves her. It’s just… neutral. Pale shades and hints of color. Grays and mauves and beiges. The palest hints of blue and pink. No yellows or purples or oranges or reds.

Frankie is seventy years old and her world is colorful.

Grace knows this - knows that even after being left by her husband, Frankie is still loved enough and loves enough to see colors that Grace can’t even imagine - because Frankie talks about color more than anyone Grace has ever met.

It’s one of the reasons that Grace (pretends she) can’t stand Frankie.

She doesn’t need a hippy who sees - and paints with - every color of the rainbow living with her, flaunting her ability to see color in Grace’s face.

But of course, that’s what she gets.

“You, Grace Hanson, are dead. Your life on earth has ended. And you are now in the next phase of your existence in the universe.”

It is said that your soulmate’s touch leaves a colourful imprint on your skin.

Grace didn’t believe that. And surprisingly, neither did Frankie. She loved Sol with all of her being and she believed he was her true love, colour imprints be damned.

Wait, wait wait. You?! After all these years yOU were my soulmate? 

Either that or me and this tear here

No. That’s not.. it’s just not possible. Surely we’ve touched each other at some point. This can’t be the first time, there’s got to be some other explanation

heh. Haha *breaks into laughter*

What’s so funny?

*pauses giggling just long enough to speak* My soulmate spent most of her life married to my husband’s soulmate… 

*stunned silence for a moment*

Well isn’t that just one big cosmic fuck you?