white mans whore

Lately, it felt like you haven't really seen much of your boyfriend. During the summer, he had spent much of his time hanging out at the country club with his friends to socialize and pass the time, or working with his dad on their business.

Walking through the doorway of your shared apartment, you dumped your bag down on the floor, with the heavy weight of your work day on your shoulders.

Hearing loud talking and laughing coming from the living room, you made your way to where your boyfriend was. Seeing him on the couch, you announce your presents to him by clearing your throat, and make your way to Rafe just as he looks up at you with the biggest smile on his face.

"Sorry Top, Y/N just got home. I'm gonna go" He said into his phone before chucking it beside him on the couch.

Sluggishly moving across the room towards him, you felt tears come to your eyes as the stress of the day was finally getting to you. Rafe, noticing this, outreached his arms to you. Falling into him, you sat straddling him, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck, while Rafe wrapped his arms securely on your waist.

"What's up princess?" He asked, noticing your watery eyes before you both embraced each other in a hug,

"Nothing." You mumbled, not wanting to relive the memories of your busy day and just bury your face into his chest.

“Well I can clearly see that that is a lie,” he started making you let out a little chuckle, “come on, what's wrong?”

“Im just..” you start, letting out a deep breath before lifting yourself up off of his chest to look at him directly.

“I just had a long and busy day and I'm tired and I don't know,” you paused looking down at your hands as you picked at your fingernails. You felt Rafe lower his hands down to your thighs and slowly sweep his thumb across your skin, encouraging you to continue.

“I guess I just really missed you,” you felt your cheeks heat up from your confession.

You heard a chuckle from him and when you looked up, his face broke out in a grin looking at you with so much love in his eyes.

“Shut up,” you laughed as you lightly punched him in the chest making him chuckle even more.

“What, I wasn't laughing at you” he says, while still laughing.

You look at him, calling his bluff by raising your eyebrows.

“Okay okay fine I was” he confesses, finally stopping his laughing.

“So how about you,” he paused looking up at you through his eyebrows, as he gave you light pats to your thighs, “go run a nice relaxing bath, and i’ll start by making us a nice dinner?”

You couldn't help the smile that appeared on your face, leaning down to his level, you peppered kisses over his face and then pressed a warm kiss to his lips. After a few seconds, you pull away just enough so you could look into his eyes.

“I love you Rafe Cameron.”

“And I love you Y/N Y/L/N.”

Giving him one last peck, you jumped up off of him and headed towards your shared bedroom, not before he gave you a light smack across your ass.

“Cheeky Cameron," you called, looking over your shoulder giving him a wink.

"Only for you baby!"

"Just try not to set the house on fire this time!”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Massaging your throbbing temples, you leaned back in your chair and glanced at another flashcard that sat before you.

Out of the silence of the room, a small knock could be heard.

The culprit pushes the door open against the tide of objects that littered the floor on the other side. He picked his way across the room, trying not to stand on any of your important coursework, spewed out across the floor, mixed up with several pairs of underwear, sweaty t-shirts, a pair of jeans and several library books.

It was Pope.

You ushered him into your room with a quick swish of your hand while you continued copying the notes you had marked in the textbook, not even looking up at him as you did so.

He saw your silent gesture and he pushed the door opening further to allow him into the dark quiet pit that was your room. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed him shuffle over to the end of your bed which was to the right of you and sit himself on the edge, giving you his full attention.

“How long have you been working for?” He asks curiously, not wanting to know that you've been working for hours, which you have.

“Not that long,” you say looking at the time on your phone that sat beside you, before you spun around in your desk chair to face him where he sat.

“Uh-huh,” he nods, giving you a side smirk, though not all that convinced, and waits for you to tell him how long you have really been there. 

“4 hours?” 

“Y/N!” he whines at you, knowing all too well that this isn't the first time you have gone without eating just to study. But also knowing it’s not going to be the last time either, he lets it go almost instantly.

“It’s just a presentation for Mr. Sunn’s class!” you try to reason to him. Out of all the Pogues, Pope is the one most likely to relate when striving for good grades, “If i don’t get a good grade for this final i'm going to fail!” 

Without giving you a reply and blankly staring at your stressed out face, he holds out the grease drenched takeout bag with his right hand for you to take.

“Courtesy of the lovely owner’s daughter from The Wreck” 

“Oh my god Pope, I love you!” you sang, doing a little dance in your seat as you launch yourself  for the brown bag that he was offering you, making him chuckle.

“Well anything for you” he spoke rubbing the back of his neck, with a glint to his brown eyes and a shy smile on his face.

You give him a shy smile back while the warmth is already rising in your cheeks.

Opening the bag, you smelt the warm aromas from your go to order from the wreck. You hadn't noticed how hungry you were until then, but the smell of the delicious food rising to meet you does quick work of reminding you.

“You have to take care of yourself though,” he urges, while reaching over to grab your free hand that was sitting on your knee as you tucked into your food, “For me?”

“Yes, dad,” you tease, trying to lighten the sudden serious mood, squeezing at his fingers one more time before letting them go to continue eating the food that he brought you.

Something settles between you two then. Despite how often the feeling has been present these past few weeks, neither of you can put your fingers on what the feeling is or what it means between you two. He watches you longer than usual with the mayhem of papers and tests; and you watch him back. You both sport half-smiles, drinking each other in before he clears his throat trying to move on from the silence that has just settled between the two of you. 

Pope later joined the three of you after being in some of the same classes with you and the boys, and were instantly drawn to his honesty, charm and it also didn't hurt that he was so smart, you could get him to help you all out with your homework.

Then came Kie and as much as you loved the boys, you were so glad there was finally a girl around. You and her became best friends almost immediately when you saw her surfing one day alone, and later invited her to join you with the others. You then learned that she was technically a kook, but was surprised when she was completely different from the stuck up rich that occupied Figure 8, and was actually bearable to be around.

And from then on, you had always been the voice of reason within the Pogues.

However, anyone could see there was clearly something special between you and JJ. Everyone in the town believed you two already were together or would  end up together eventually. You had been one of JJ's closest friends his entire life, behind John B that is, whenever you two were together, the space would just be filled with laughter, constant bickering and just enjoying each other’s company.

You couldn’t see him that way, or so you told yourself. You were both completely different, and would never work as a couple. And besides, even if you did like him, he would never want to date you anyway. And due to the ‘no Pogue on Pogue macking’ you never thought of him or any of the other Pogues in that way and tried to avoid having a romantic relationship for obvious reasons.

It was a typical summer evening for the Pogues. After spending a day on the water, swimming, listening to music and being around each other's company, Kie suggested getting food at her parent’s restaurant. And the thought of free food made you and the other Pogues agree instantly.

Once Kie persuaded her dad in letting you all eat the leftovers, Mr, Carrera banished you all to a secluded table at the back of his restaurant, away from any of the actual paying customers. 

Sitting down with JJ to your left, you conversed with the other Pogues before you saw Kie return with a tray of food and jug of water for you all to enjoy.

You shrieked in shock as you felt something cold being smeared across your cheek, turning around you saw JJ sat beside you, owning a smug look on his face and  ketchup covering his fingers.

Grabbing a spare fry that was lying on the table, you threw it in his direction. Hitting him directly in the chest, he faked being hurt, holding his chest.

He then retaliated by throwing another fry at you. Soon it became a full on food fight between you two, while you giggled until you were out of breath.

“Can we not be kicked out by my dad please,” Kie spoke, trying to stop the chaos that you and JJ created.

He chuckled, stopping his movements before sipping his drink and digging back into his food that sat in front of him. You followed suit, still giggling.

“Shit!” John B squealed, quickly picking up a cup he knocked over in the chaos of yours and JJ’s spontaneous fight, and moving a few things out of the way from the spilled water to not get wet.

“Really John B, right in front of my salad,” Kie said, staring at the brunette boy trying to clean up the mess he made.

“Don’t worry I get some napkins” you sighed, John B gave you a nod in thanks and you found yourself walking up towards the countertop to grab the napkins. 

As you grabbed a pile of napkins from the bartop, you felt a hand on your waist and a head lean against your shoulder while feeling someone breathing against your ear.

You were surprised when you turned around to be greeted by a very familiar face.

“Hi.” Harry, a colleague from your work greeted you as he leaned in to kiss your cheek, “I wasn’t expecting to run into you in this fine establishment.”

The flirty banter between the two of you is not new. You had met Harry when he started working during your second month of being at the Figure 8 Country Club. He was a natural flirt, some people would call it cocky, but everyone knew he was harmless.

You haven't seen him in about a month due to the hurricane that swept through the island a few weeks back, and then scheduling issues kept you apart from most of your work friends.

“I could say the same to you.” you reply, still a little surprised to see him here. 

“It’s my parents anniversary.” He said simply, looking over his shoulder to a group of people all sat at a table on the opposite end of the building, chatting amongst themselves.

You nodded, coming to terms that it wasn’t just you and your friends at the Wreck, like it usually felt like when you were all together, stealing the scraps from Mr. Carrera.

He chuckled, leaning his elbow on the countertop to get a little closer to you, focusing all of his attention on you, “So, how have you been since the hurricane and all?”

“I’ve been alright. Helping out folks where I can,” you chuckled, before pointing behind him to the table where you all sat “and hanging out with my friends how about you?”

“Been good, time away was fun, missed your beautiful face though” he said through a smirk

“Easy, ” You warn, rolling your eyes and smacking his arm playfully before shaking your head and walking back to where your friends were, but you noticed Harry following after you.

As you approach the table, you noticed how JJ’s knuckles were gripped into a fist. His eyes were following behind you to where Harry was, which caused you to raise your eyebrow slightly at him. He saw your wandering eye and just scoffed, ignoring the look you were giving him as he took a sip of his water and sighed, watching as you proceed to introduce the Pogues to Harry.

“Guys this is Harry who I work with. Harry this is John B, Kiara, Pope and JJ.” you introduced pointing to each appropriate Pogue.

You had spoken fondly about Harry to your best friends. He was a great stress relief at work and it was nice to interact with someone different from who you usually hung out with. He was a few years older then you so you didn't share any mutual friends and never saw him around at parties.

“Hi. It’s so good to meet you all.” Harry grinned, extending his hand out to Pope and John B, who both returned his polite greeting, Kie gave him a small wave from across the table, while JJ let out another loud sigh obviously meant to be heard.

“You too.” JJ replied, voice full of sarcasm, as he waved his right hand while taking a sip of his water with his left.

Sitting yourself back down in your seat beside JJ, you gave him a slight nudge with your shoulder to ask him what was the matter as you knew he was a lot more polite when he met people so it certainly surprised you when his expression towards Harry seemed a little dry. You assumed that he was just tired, as his dad had been giving him a hard time recently and he had been living at John B’s for a few days now. But unbeknownst to you, JJ’s blood had been boiling the moment he had witnessed Harry approach you at the counter top.

Harry made friendly conversation with John B and Pope, while you focused all of your attention on the way JJ had been when you were talking with Harry. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Harry walk around the table and stand behind you, feeling him lean his body weight against the back of your chair that you were sitting in, causing you to focus back in on the conversation happening around you.

“Well I just can't wait to have Y/N all to myself again!” Harry placed his hands atop of your shoulders massaging them gently as all of the Pogues around you chuckled, including you to try and make it seem like you have been listening all this time and not thinking about the blonde boy next to you .

Watching Harry's hands remain on your shoulders, he was not happy about the way Harry had been acting around you. It was a strange feeling being jealous, he definitely wasn’t used to it. Deep down he knew he had no reason to feel this way because you weren’t his.

That was it. He had had enough. He slammed his fist against the table, gaining the attention of the other Pogues and marched in the direction of the exit, leaving you just as confused as the others who all sat with confused faces, they watched as JJ stormed out of the building, baffled as to what had caused his sudden tantrum.

You quickly turned over to Kie with a confused look on your face, mouthing a 'what the fuck’ to see if she had picked up on something you didnt, before getting up from your seat to quick to follow after your best friend. Curious about what caused his sudden outburst.

You found him standing outside by the deck, his back to you. His knuckles were still white as they gripped the wooden railing in front of him as he huffed, raking his fingers through his own hair.

“What the fuck was that?” You called out to him as you walked up to him. You stopped a few meters behind him waiting for him to answer, “What the hell has gotten into your head?”

He wasn’t his usual carefree self right now, that was obvious. You crossed your arms across your chest, a stubborn stance that couldn’t even come close to the outrage that sparked in your eyes. 

He quickly turned back to look at you and you noticed that his jaw was tightly clamped shut, his fists would stay firmly by his sides and was trying to regain his composure by controlling his heavy breathing, but failing miserably.

“I don't like him,” he said firmly, shaking his head lightly. The tension in his body made him stand rigid as he continued to stare at you with steam coming out of his ears.

“What are you talking about?” you asked him confused.

"The way he put his arm around you. The way he talks to you. The way he acts around you, Y/N, okay i don't like it! He was flirting with you!" he practically yells at you as he begins to pace back and forth on his feet, his body still completely rigid as he moves back and forth not even bothering to look at you.

“Is that what all of this is about?” You shook your head, raising your eyebrows to try and challenge him as you crossed your arms against your chest. “You’re jealous of Harry?”

“Y/N, I’m serious,” He paused his movements, looking at you dead in the eyes to hint what he was really trying to say to you when not knowing exactly how to express what he had been feeling for years now. To be honest with you and not wanting to ruin the beautiful friendship that you've had over the years. 

“No, tell me why it bothered you so much.” you ran your hand through your hair, and rolled your eyes, Unable to believe how childish he was being,

"He was flirting with you!”

“That’s just him JJ. He’ll flirt with a rock if he could!” You shook your head and took a deep breath. From an outsider's position, it may look like Harry was trying to come on to you, but anyone who really knows Harry, knows that it's completely harmless, and anyone who watched you knows your heart truly belongs to the boy stood in front of you now, “Are you telling me that you’re mad because someone was flirting with me in your presence?”

“Yeah i'm mad, i'm mad that they are gunna get your attention and you'll go off with them!” he said hanging his head low, finally letting some of the tension leave his body from partially admitting his feelings for you.

You remained silent, waiting for him to elaborate on what he meant. A part of you knew what he was about to say and you were hoping he would say it. You had been dreaming about it for years. But another part of you refused to believe that it was even possible that he had reciprocated feelings for you.

He sighed as he lifted his head to watch your reaction to what he was about to say, “I’ve liked you. For a long, long time now. And I know the rule, no Pogue on Pogue, so I never said anything about it. But this summer has made me realize how much I liked you more than just as a friend. And I know I probably fucked up our friendship for good now but… I don’t think I can keep it to myself for any longer.”

JJ liked you. Hearing him say this made you feel a huge weight lift from your chest, as you no longer needed to keep it to yourself either.

“JJ,” You bit down on your lip as you moved closer to him so you were now standing a foot away from him. “I like you too.”

With a huge grin plastered across your face, you let out a slight giggle, watching the smile on JJ’s face was the most amazing sight you had ever seen.

He put a hand on the back of your neck and pulled you to him, his lips against yours with his other hand at your waist. You were hit with the reminder of how it felt to have his soft lips on yours. 

You had only kissed him once before. A Touron at a boneyard party was being super clingy to JJ and he just wanted to shake her, so he claimed that you were his girlfriends and weren’t interested in her. She, of course, didn’t believe him so he kissed you to make it more believable. You had been comfortable with doing so as you had been wanting to get rid of her all night. This was a real kiss, filled with love and passion. You melted into the kiss, holding JJ closer. Wanting to pinch yourself to make sure this wasn’t a dream.

After a few moments, you both pull away, pressing your foreheads together, out of breath.

“Oh my god.”

You quickly pulled away from JJ and turned to see John B stood with his eyes wide, staring at the two of you still wrapped up in each other’s arms, shocked at what he had just  walked in on.

“Dude, it's not what it looks like,” JJ tried to explain.

“Pope!, you owe me $20!” He exclaimed as he ran back the way he came

You giggled. “I think we have a lot of explaining to do.”

“Sounds like they already know,” JJ smiled and kissed Y/N’s forehead before wrapping an arm around her and leading her back to the rest of the Pogues.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hiding your bruises became second nature. Hiding them with makeup or a shirt or just coming up with elaborate excuses on the spot if a bruise was spotted. 

“Jesus, Y/N! Where did that bruise come from?”

“Oh i just fell”

When the injuries were too bad to hide, you would hide away from the Pogues. Making excuses like you needed to work or have chores to do around the house or on the cut.

You knew you couldn't keep this secret forever, but you just hoped that when you turned 18, you would leave school and move out away from your home life and all you knew.

But tonight, your dad's sudden rage was something you hadn't seen in awhile. The hitting was always in a place that could easily be covered up, but tonight it wasn't. Hands gripped your arms and wrists, kicking you till you fell to the floor and spitting words of disappointment at you.

It’s dark and cold when you subconsciously walk the familiar route to the chateau. Your muscles screamed in protest with every small step you took, the bruises that were littered all over your body making it harder for you to walk. You hiss, slightly slowing down your movements and taking deep breaths and threading your hands through your hair.

A loose tear began to fall down your cheek, when you could see the chateau. You felt awful for coming here, but you couldn't take it anymore. You had to get out before something worse could happen.

You repeatedly knock your fist against the wooden door until you hear the sound of footsteps growing across the floor, releasing some of the tension you held in your body.

"Y/N?” John B askes, confused as to why you're at his house this late after not seeing the group in days.

You then saw Sarah come up from the shadows behind him. A small smile was wiped off her face when she saw what state you were in. Her breath left her in a rush. 

“What the fuck?" 

The tears in your eyes began to stream down your face harder as Sarah steps forward to wrap her arms around you.

"I didn't know where else to go," you manage to squeak out. You heard Sarah mutter something to her boyfriend as she begins to lead you into the house and to the couch before sitting you down as you tried to control your breathing. 

With Sarah sitting to your left, It became apparent to you that John B wasn't in the room anymore, but before you could figure out where he ran off to, you heard two pairs of footsteps emerge from the hallway where you again saw John B with JJ.

Setting his eyes on you, he noticed your eyes were red and swollen from your tears that had previously fell leaving stains on your cheeks.

“Y/N?” he asked, confused, more to himself then you. Before he could really process you sat upset on his best friend's couch, you were up and moving across the room to where he stood to him, wandering into his open arms for you and pulling you into a warm hug.

Your head rested on his chest that was covered by the shirt that he always wore making you feel slightly at ease. He rubbed circles on your back and you felt like you could breathe again, surrounded by the familiar scent of him. He just stood there, holding your quivering body, listening as your breaths went from shaky to become more stable. 

Noticing that your body was a little more relaxed, he pulled back to get a better look at your face.

Cupping his hands around your rosy red cheeks, you back away slightly, wanting to hide away from his intense eyes. Feeling the dense tension in the air that you could cut with a knife.

“Where did these bruises come from?” he shakes his head, with a look of pity in his eyes, exactly the look you were trying to avoid, “Please don’t lie to me.”

“It's nothing,” you say quickly, trying to dismiss this conversation and move away from JJ’s grasp and turning so he's facing your back.

It then dawned on you that you and JJ were alone in John B’s lounge, realising that they must've left to give you both privacy.

“Y/N..” 

“It was my parents,” you blurt out.

"Y/N, i'm so sorry" JJ starts, you then turn to face him to see his eyebrows raised in pity with a look of sadness,  "how long has this been going on for?" 

You don't answer, fiddling with your hands that fell in front of you. The silence in the room became deafening until you heard JJ speak up over the sounds of your quiet sniffling.

"Y/N, how long?" He asks again, more forcefully this time, trying to get you to open up to him in any way he could.

“For as long as I can remember,” you admit, ashamed that you had kept something as big as this from your best friends for so long. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he says in a low voice. If you were mistaken, you could hear the hurt in his voice also.

“Y/N…” JJ murmurs, there is evident pain and frustration in his voice. Seeing there was something wrong but not being able to get it out of you.

“JJ, please ” you beg, shutting your eyes and looking down at your feet, just wanting this conversation to be over and to sleep the pain away. 

“Just tell me!” you could hear the evident anger in his voice.

“Because I didn’t want to be a burden JJ!” you raise your voice slightly at him, his eyes meet your sad and broken ones, “You go through it enough with your dad and I didn’t want you to have my problems too!”

“But how is that fair on you, I come to you all the time about what my dad does to me”

“I know, but I didn't want to put more on your plate,”

You then began to question why you really kept this to yourself. At first, it was because of the reason you gave JJ, but actually saying it out loud. It was a stupid reason. Not only were you causing yourself more harm by not telling anyone, you were now causing harm by thinking you could handle it all on your own when you had an amazing group of friends who could support you through this.

“Y/N...you’re my girlfriend, my best friend,” he tells you, his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes look sad, “if you were hurting, I want to be there for you like you are with me.”

The tears began to gather in your eyes again. JJ noticed immediately and traveled the short distance to you and wrapped his arms around your frame once again as your tears fell.

“It's gonna be okay, I'm here for you” he promised, kissing the top of your head as you just cried in his arms, running his fingers through your hair.

JJ’s open arms wrapping firmly around you in a warm embrace. You finally let out a sigh of relief when you realised you were okay. Well, you wouldn't exactly say you were completely okay, but you were alive and away from your parents.

“Come on,” He whispers, after you’ve calmed down, extending his hand out to you and leading you to the spare room in John B’s house where he is currently residing.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Most importantly though, you kept everyone out of trouble as best you could. This meant keeping the Pogues and Kooks away from and fighting, each other. When the boneyard parties would rarely get busted, you made sure everyone dispersed so you all couldn't get caught, and often, you wouldn't drink so you could drive everyone safely home.

But one moment that you couldn't keep everyone out of trouble was when JJ’s dad was particularly rough on him. He turned up at your door bloody and bruised. Too ashamed to say anything to you, you wordlessly dragged him into your house and too where you kept the first aid kit. Silently, cleaning him up.

You insisted he stayed with that night so you knew he would be safe, and you two clicked on a different level.

From then on, you both kept your relationship a secret from the Pogues, acting as you usually would around your best friends. But behind closed doors, you couldn't keep your hands off of each other.

Waking up in each other's arms, before having to part before getting caught. Secret make out sessions in the chateau when the other Pogues were outside, not knowing the secret actions going on inside.

However, the longer you hid your relationship, you wanted to walk hand-in-hand through the streets in front of everyone and cuddle up to him when you are hanging out together with the rest of your friends.

Soon, the hiding became too much and it came time to tell the Pogues. They were shocked at first, but soon began to see that you both were pretty well suited to each other.

Your relationship with JJ then was perfect, not having to hide away from everyone and be yourselves together.

Then your period was extremely late and you began to experience what you now know was morning sickness.

Taking a deep breath, you flipped over the stick that was face down on the counter top of the sink. Staring down at the stick, it was clear as day.

Two lines. Positive.

There was no way you could have imagined it. You took one deep breath to try and calm down, not believing the result that the two lines implied. To further confirm it, you decided to do a handful more tests which all came back with the same result.

Your breathing hitched in your throat as tears began to gather in your eyes. Your vision began to go blurry at the prospects of you becoming a mother before you or him were even ready. Moving your hands down to cover your clothed stomach you became excited of the prospect of seeing a little you or JJ run around you both.

There was a knock on the bathroom door, followed by the voice of your loving boyfriend, “Y/N? Are you okay you've been in there a while?”

JJ slowly opened the door after hearing you mutter a quiet ‘come in’ seeing you standing beside the counter top, noticing the pregnancy test in your hands.

“What’s that?” he questioned with a shocked expression on his face.

“We’re gunna be parents,” you turned to face him, whispering so quietly that you were unsure if he actually heard you at first. Clearly he did as you noticed the look on his face slowly fade into a soft smile before launching himself across the bathroom, cupping your face between his hands as his lips then met yours.

He released your lips and engulfed you in a tight hug, rubbing circles on your back with his hand, smiling like an idiot he pressed his forehead to yours.

“Are you serious?” he asked more so to himself. You gave him a huge smile, letting a little giggle slip as you saw his cheshire smile that extended all the way to his eyes.

“We’re having a baby.” he whispered.

“We’re having a baby.” you reaffirm.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 2

Or the time when Kie had a breakdown and was hysterically crying because she realised fish and most ocean life had to live their lives without arms.

Or when Pope spilled his bottle of beer over himself and it went on his socks, and him being the genius he is, decided that the quickest way to dry them off was to put them in the microwave only for everyone to find out by Kie yelling “who the fuck is cooking a sock?”.

He was expecting all of that craziness and even more.

Instead, mellowed-out Pogues, all too tired from a day of surfing lounged out by the fire pit outside of the chateau, stuffing their faces with pizza and washing it all down afterwards with beer.

And these nights with you, were what he looks forward to most when thinking about summer. Where you both can’t get enough of each other. Spending the long days surfing, on the H.M.S Pogue, wandering aimlessly around The Cut, hanging out with the other Pogues were all that John B loved about summer.

But if he was being honest with himself, he looks forward to falling asleep with you most and waking up entangled in each other's arms and getting touchy with each other. He loved having your arms wrapped tightly around him. never wanting to let go of you, to never stop loving you. Wanting to defend you, keep you safe forever.

You were tucked into your boyfriends side, his arm draped over your shoulders, talking to Kie, recounting the story of the time she got a ‘Karen’ come into The Wreck while she was working one day and how JJ had to step in and try to resolve the problem. However, resolving in JJ’s instance, was to annoy the ‘Karen’ even more to where she walked out screaming that she would ‘never return to the establishment again’. The whole of your body relaxed as you retold the story giggling between sentences.

It only takes twenty minutes after the last piece of pizza is eaten for JJ to make his way into the chateau, only to return with an expensive bottle of whiskey in hand, which you presumed he brought with him that was properly stolen from his dad’s stash, and enough shot glasses for all of you to have one each, for the night to go downhill.

“Alright,” he says as he returns, pausing as he makes his way to the centre of the group, “who wants to play never have I ever?”

Whenever the Pogues were together, secluded from the world, with a crate of any type of alcohol, the urge to play drinking games was always strong.

You, Kie and Pope instantly agreed to JJ’s suggestion. Hearing everyone's embarrassing tales always made you laugh to the point of tears.

John B however, exhales, scrunching up his nose. Not in the mood to play and drinking games. And just wanting to savour the cool, starlight sky with the light music playing over the crackling sounds of the campfire and the playful laughs coming from his best friends around him.

Still, he entertains JJ’s idea, readying himself for a few rounds of burning liquid down his throat and ridiculous questions that he has to admit to.

JJ starts, since he suggested the game, looking around at the Pogues before his eyes zero in on you and Kie. “Never have I ever worn a bra.”

“Really?” You narrow your eyes at JJ, refilling your glass, while Kie mutters words of protest at the blonde boy, who can’t contain his smug smile and giggles. You roll your eyes, both of you taking your first drink alongside each other.

You think of the next question almost instantly, looking at the two who you were directing the question to  “Never have I ever gone surfing in the middle of a storm.”

John B thinks you were holding onto that one for a while.

Pope catches your eye from across the campfire, waving a hand dismissively at your obvious jab towards him and your boyfriend.

“No way, you surfed the surge?” JJ asked, impressed, but a little hurt that he wasn’t there to join them.

“Yeah,” 

“That's my boy. Pogue style,” JJ leaned over and patted Pope on the back of the shoulder. He obviously hit it too hard, however, because as soon as JJ removed his hand, Pope whipped around and rubbed where JJ had made contact. 

John B eyed the shot glasses lined up in front of him warily. Picking it up, he drinks it at once alongside Pope, rolling his eyes at the mocking cheer that erupts around his friends, as they both successfully swallowed the amber liquid.

You pinch at the skin that is revealed when he leans forward, to put the glass down. To which he does the same back to you, smirking in retaliation.

The game continues on with more questions. Each round getting less and less serious and leading into everyone’s personal secrets. Everyone trying to one-up the last, in more efforts to embarrass each other.

More than once have you had to hide your blushing cheeks, and knowing smile behind the rim of the shot glass you drank from because of the invasive question asked by the overly curious Pogues.

John B lets himself get lost in his friend’s exchanges and participation in the game. Basking in the conversations and laughter that is happening around him. His warm hand slips beneath your shirt and presses you closer into him, rubbing soothing circles on the skin of your hip. 

You return the gesture by leaning back into him, moulding yourself into his side, and turning in his grasp to give him a quick peck on the lips. Noticing that he has been relatively quiet throughout the game, only speaking to ask a question for the group.

“You okay?” you ask so only he can hear you. He lightly smiles at you and nods. Squeezing you tighter to him. You take this as his ‘okay’, rolling your head back onto his shoulder, listening back into the group, just as JJ asked another question.

“Alright, alright. I’ve got one,” he spoke up, causing the rest of the group to give all of their attention to him, “Never have I ever, had sex in public.” 

You down your drink without really thinking, suddenly feel your boyfriend's entire body still as you settle back into him. He halted the movements his hand made along the skin of your hip. Looking up at his face, you see red creeping itself upon his neck, across his face and up to his ears, whether from remembering the intimate memory of you two, or being embarrassed by it being brought up in his group of friends.

One hot day on The Cut lead you and John B taking a ride out on the H.M.S. Pogue together, spending the day listening to music, drinking beer and enjoying each other's company. Kie and Pope had to spend the day working, and JJ was busy doing JJ things leaving the two of you to do whatever you pleased without interruptions from anyone else. 

This led to many, many make out sessions and more. On the boat, on the beach and in the water. 

All he could imagine was flashes of sweat-slick skin and hurried kisses. How you fit into his body, your chest flush against his chest. the way you pressed up against him in the water. Shaking, trembling, panting into the skin of his shoulder.

“Oh, what have you two been up to then?,” JJ playfully jabs, bringing John B out of his own head, with a bright smirk plastered across his face. Proud of himself that he's caught his friends out.

Kie takes the lead in the friendly interrogation, giggling as she gestures towards the both of you with an open hand. “You guys wanna share?”

You just shrug, “Not particularly, no,” you declare, leaning over to grab the bottle from Pope to fill another shot and down it in less than no time, “I’m not drunk enough for this anyway.” 

“You’ve gotta tell us now!” Pope wails, trying to keep in his laughter for long enough to stutter the sentence. Extending his hand out towards the red faced couple to exaggerate his point.

John B could die from the overwhelming weight of his embarrassment on his shoulders. And he can tell you’re also regretting taking the shot after JJ asked the question in the way you fall further into him, hands coming up to cover your face in humiliation.

“We’re not part of this conversation,” John B sighs, trying to change the conversation topic. Too embarrassed that his friends know a secret that was just meant for you and him to know. And too turned on thinking about the memory about you and him, now just wanting the night to be over so he can be alone with you. 

You shake your head, speaking into your hands, letting out a long groan.

Kie and Pope stop cackling for long enough to splutter at the same time, “you took the shot!”

“We are never playing this game again”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

You grabbed a random pair of sweats and a hoodie that were lying on your floor, grabbing the keys to the camper that were sat on the kitchen counter and began the drive over to Kie’s house.

The drive wasn’t too long and all too familiar as you have gone to her house thousands of times to collect your brother and his drunken friends in the past. The town was eerily quiet driving from the cut to figure 8, compared to how you would usually see it during the day.

Driving up to Kie’s house, you spotted your brother and JJ trying to drag Pope along the sidewalk. He wasn't passed out anymore, like John B had said over the phone,  but he still wasn't completely with it either.

You pulled up to the curb, seeing the boys turn and look in the direction you came from.

“Jesus, If he pukes in here, he’s cleaning it up.” You stated, getting out of the car, watching all the men struggle to support each other on their wobbly, drunken feet.

“Y/N! You’re here!” JJ yelled, dropping Pope’s arm and running up to you, leaving John B to try and lead Pope to the car on his own. 

As JJ reached you, he threw his arms around your frame. You hugged him back, fighting back a smile. Telling him to jump in the front seat while you took over where he previously was, helping John B put Pope in the back of the camper.

You and John B finally had Pope’s whole body into the car and directed your brother into the other seat, while you jumped into the driver's seat. 

Getting into the camper, you saw JJ play with the dancing Hawaiian hula girl that sat on the dashboard of the camper, rambling to himself about something you couldn't make out.

“Guess you both are staying at ours, as always?” you asked as you turned around to look at John B for conformation, he simply just nodded and closed his eyes, trying not to puke.

The drive was the same as always, with a slight hum from the radio of some random summer song that got played 20 times a day until people hate it. JJ talking endlessly to whoever would listen, which you didn't mind as you could listen to him all day, and the other two in the back just wanting to be somewhere stable to lie down and sleep off the endless amount of alcohol that was running through their body.

Once you were back at the chateau, you made all three boys go inside, directing Pope and JJ to the pull out sofa bed in the living room, while you helped your brother into his own room.

“Right, if you need to puke, please don't do it on the floor again, it was hard enough last-”

 “Y/N, I know I know. Go get some sleep, i’ll be fine.” You opened your mouth to protest him, but he began to close his eyes and drift off. You made sure he was settled and sighed, grabbing a spare blanket from the wardrobe before walking out to the living room where the other two drunken idiots were. 

Pope was already passed out, snoring away, and JJ was sitting on the edge of the pull out trying to take off his shirt that was currently caught, ceasing him to get it past his head.

“What are you doing?” you stood puzzled watching his movements holt as he heard your voice.

“It’s stuck” he whined while dropping his arms, leaving the shirt around his head.“Arms up,” you huffed, walking up to him, standing between his legs and helping him, removing his shirt for him.

Once it was successfully removed, you placed it next to him on the pull-out, pushing him back by his shoulder so he was led on his back, looking back up at you.

“Right, sleep now, it's late” you said sternly as you began to walk back to your room that was situated between both the living room and John B’s room, so if anyone needed you during the night, you would be right there.

Walking back to your room to begin getting ready for bed the second time that night, you heard JJ snore over dramatically, as if he was asleep, making you giggle. 

Settling in your bed and closing your eyes, silently begging for sleep to come to you quickly so you can at least get a few good hours of sleep in before you have to be up for your next shift.

Just as you were about to drift off, you heard the squeak of your door opening. 

“Psst, Y/N.” You peeked an eye open and sighed as you saw JJ standing at the threshold of your bedroom door, illuminated by the moonlight that was peeking in through the windows of the chateau.

“JJ, what are you doing, why aren’t you asleep?” you asked him quietly as to not wake anyone else up.

He walked further into your room and crouched down next to you, his eyes slightly drooping from tiredness but a huge smile still plastered across his face. You sat up and turned on the light beside your bed to see him better.

 “I was lonely,” he said with a pout on his face, “and I couldn't stop thinking about you,” JJ’s eyes widened as he realised what he had said and who to, slapping a hand over his mouth to silence himself. 

“Oh shit, wasn’t meant to tell you that” 

You giggled and bit down on your lower lip as he continued to ramble to himself. You had always thought JJ was the ideal package, funny, caring and had a heart of gold but you never dared tell anyone that, he was one of your brother's best friends, it could never work. 

You placed a hand over JJ’s mouth to stop him rambling, his eyes widening as you silenced him. “JJ it’s okay,” you reassured him.

He nodded in response and licked the palm of your hand, making you gasp and removing your hand from him, wiping it on his shoulder as he threw himself over you and onto the other side of your bed next to you” 

“Was that really necessary?” you asked, turning your body to face him on the bed. He led down on his side facing you. 

He nodded with a cheeky look on his face, wiggling his eyebrows as he watched you.

It went silent between you two as you gazed at each other. He lifted a hand and tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear, letting his thumb linger on your cheek stroking your skin gently. 

“Um, I better get back to Pope and the pull-out,” he mumbled as he began to lift himself up to head out of your room. You quickly grabbed his forearm, stopping his movements, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion as he looked to your hand on his forearm and then to your face.

“You don't have to go,”

“But i might ruin this, and i want this to be perfect,” he mumbled, his cheeks burning red.

“What do you mean?” you asked. 

He paused for a second as he settled back down beside you. His hands settled on the mattress between you too. 

“Well,” he paused all around the room, anywhere but at you, “I want to take you on a date, a real fancy one. Not like at the wreck or something, somewhere where you can wear a fancy dress that makes your body look incredible and that red lipstick that I don’t know what to do when you wear” he chuckled, looking incredibly anxious waiting for your reply.

You place your hand in his, getting his attention to look at you. His eyes widen in shock, not expecting you to accept what he plans with you. 

Giving in to your temptations, you lent across the bed and pressed your lips to JJ’s. 

As his lips attempted to catch up with his brain, he soon began to lose himself in you, pulling you closer to him, wrapping one arm around your body, bringing you closer, and keeping the other on your cheek, weaving his fingers into your hair.

After a few minutes, you pulled away ever so slightly, your lips brushing over JJ’s as you spoke.

“I'd like that,”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you confirmed, JJ gave you a lopsided grin and pressed a soft kiss to your lips. Still having his arms around you, you settled into his chest and fell asleep smiling, excited to wake up in his arms in a few hours time.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

You couldn’t stop talking about him to them, all the stories that you two shared together, and with your friends. So, they wanted to give the man that had stolen your heart a chance, and meet him immediately.

Your old man wanted to test him. He wanted to know if he could trust a pogue, with his daughter.

When you told JJ this, he immediately freaked out. 

“What do you mean he wants to meet me?” JJ questioned, burning holes in the carpet where he paced back and forth.

“I mean he wants to meet you, in person”

Worried that his relationship with his dad didn’t work so how could it work with yours? Not to mention that he came from nothing and was in a completely different social class to you.

Your dad had insisted that you all meet at his favourite restaurant. … 

“Do I look okay?” he sighed nervously, as you both approach the restaurant. 

“You look perfect”

“I’m gonna look so out of place in there,” he worries, pausing in his steps and gesturing to his clothes. He had on a white button-up shirt, that he stole from his dad, and pair of worn dress trousers that were somehow hanging at the back of his closet.

“It will be fine and they’ll love you,” you try and reassure him by standing on your toes and kissing him on the cheek. JJ grips your hand tightly and gave you a nervous, tight-lipped smile. 

Pulling him along and into the restaurant, you spot your parents sat at their usual table, both of them giving you and JJ a small wave. leaving one side of the booth free for you and JJ to reside.

The hostess leads you both over to the table and hands you both menus. JJ slides into the seat opposite your dad, and you follow sitting in front of your mum.

His hand that is resting in yours on your lap is sweaty. You give it a little squeeze and rub your finger along the back of his had, as your dad breaks the silence.

“So,” your dad clears his throat, “this is the famous boy my daughter talks about all the time.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you JJ,” your mum adds to ease some of the tension that may be residing.

“Thank you,” JJ flashes them both a kind smile in return, “it’s good to finally meet you both as well.”

“We’ve heard a lot about you JJ”

“All good things I hope,” he says, sending them another quick smile as he looks back down to you sat beside him. He releases his hand from your hold to look at the menu that is sat in front of him.

The waitress then comes by to collect all your orders. You order your usual, as do both your parents. JJ, however, orders one of the cheaper items on the menu. But your unsure if that was because he wanted to be respectful as your parents were paying, so you just shake the thought away.

Once he’s done ordering, he focuses all of his attention back to your parents, and the hand that once was in yours, and rests it on your thigh, just above your knee.

Your father then begins to ask him about how summers going and the new job that he has recently got. He has your parents chuckling as he continues to make small talk as you wait for your food to come. You take a break in conversing as you just listen to him interacting with your parents.

You’re surprised at how well everything is going. You were worried that your parents would make their decision on whether they liked him from the town’s rumours of the trouble maker that was JJ instead of getting to know him themselves.

He’s been so calm and collected ever since he’s sat down, hardly showing how nervous he is to your parents. You smiled to yourself, glad that JJ had made a good first impression by managing to make it through a family dinner with no issues at all.

“Thank you for dinner Mr and Mrs Y/L/N, It was amazing,” JJ says, turning to your parents as you all left the premises of the restaurant.

They both smile at him. “It was nice to finally meet you, son,” your dad offers his hand out for him to shake, which JJ gladly accepts.

“It would be lovely to see you again JJ,” your mum says. “You are always welcome to stop by the house anytime.”

“Thank you,” he replied, releasing you fathers hand and giving you a quick glance.

You hugged your parent’s goodbye, explaining to them that you and JJ would be heading to John B’s house for the night. 

Returning to JJ, you watched as your parents got into their car and drive away. His arm wraps over your shoulders instinctively and he presses a kiss to your temple.

“See I told you they’d love you!” you smiled, turning to walk in the direction of your car. JJ began to follow shortly behind you.

JJ chuckles, before getting into the car, he pulled you in for a tight hug. You go willingly resting your head on his chest as he kisses the top of your head, sighing in relief.

 Staring at the ceiling, Y/N heard two faint knocks on the door, followed by it opening. She didn't bother to look because she knew it would be her best friend coming to check up on her like she has done almost every day for the past week. Trying to get her to do the basic tasks of showering, eating and drinking anything other than what her parents had in their liquor cabinet and cupboards.

"Y/N? How are you feeling?" Sarah asked cautiously as she made her way to sit beside her on the side of the bed. Ignoring her, Y/N just sat up and lent against the headboard and played with her hands that were seated in her lap.

"Listen, I know you're not in the mood, but I think it will be a really good idea for you to come out with me tonight." Continuing to ignore her, Sarah sighed and began speaking again, "there's not gunna be a lot of people there, the Kooks are just throwing a small thing, close friends, and a couple of Tourons, so you can get your mind off of him. You can shower, get changed and leave the house to get some fresh air. It will do you good."

Y/N wanted to disagree with her, she really did. But deep down she knew Sarah was right. Staying in bed and feeling sorry for herself wouldn't get her over him and fix her. She wouldn't heal and forget about him if I didn't carry on living her life. 

Looking up at her best friend, positioned beside her on the bed, she sent her a small nod and returned the intense gaze she had back to her hands on her lap.

"Okay, I'll run you a shower," she said enthusiastically as she stood up and walked towards the bathroom that was connected to the bedroom.

An hour later, Y/N and Sarah stepped along the sidewalk outside of the big kook house that held the party. Sarah said the party was going to be small, with hardly any people. But boy was she wrong. Y/N instantly regretted her decision to go and started backing up, stepping away from the house and its loud music further wishing to be tucked under the covers of her bed.

"Y/N! I'm so sorry, I honestly thought it was going to be small, I guess the word got out." Sarah saw her movements and grabbed her hand before she could go anywhere.

"It’s okay," Y/N returned in such a quiet voice she was surprised she could be heard. Sarah gave her a small smile and began to lead her into the house.

The music was so loud that it made her skin tingle and her lungs feel like mush. Not that that was how she was already feeling anyway. Over the roar of music, a distant, hazy chatter could be heard. She couldn't make out any words, but laughter rang in her ears and wouldn't seem to stop. A simple task that she found extremely hard to do in the past couple days. She found it sad that she couldn't bring herself to laugh, but couldn't blame herself. All she is, is sadness, every other emotion pushed from her being. 

Following Sarah through the house, being held by her arm, they made it to the kitchen, where Sarah poured herself and Y/N a drink. Gladly accepting. Neither of them knew what it was made of but it tasted good. As she was taking a sip, letting the familiar feeling of the alcohol travel down her throat, she again felt her arm being pulled and led away from the kitchen making her feet follow.

Weaving in-between masses of people, they finally arrived at a group of people Y/N recognised as Sarah’s friends from her classes, some she knew from hanging out, others she had never spoken to but were friendly nonetheless. Sending everyone a friendly but emotionless smile to be polite, she ignores all of their conversations, sipping her drink quietly to herself and falling back into the recent familiar state of feeling alone.

Looking around at the people in the crowded room, it is full of kooks, tourons and pogues. Everyone is feeding off of the smiles and fast drinking. It's wall to wall of people dancing to the music or standing in individual groups, chatting, drinking and playing games. There's no room for any more people to go. One of the busiest parties Y/N has ever seen. 

Then she sees him.

Stealing her breath and the heat from her skin. He was sitting on the edge of a sofa across the room from her, staring at his beer bottle that was in his hands. Wearing his signature grey board shorts, his classic grey, sleeveless shirt and his old worn out boots that she had to move one too many times for being in the way, thrown on her bedroom floor.

He had dark circles under his eyes and the few day stubble decorating his jaw, told her he also hasn't been looking after himself. The obvious weight loss could be seen around his neck and face making his jawline look more prominent and his neck even smaller. 

Surrounded by the pogues, she could tell that he too, wasn't invested in the party he was at, and all of the conversations happening around him. His expression was of one being forced to endure an unpleasant odour. Was he being forced there too? Was he hurting just as much as she was? With her mind wondering, other questions popped into her head. Did Sarah know he was going to be here? Is that why she made her come? 

Y/N knew Sarah had been seeing John B (not that anyone else was supposed to know) so was this all one big plan that they came up with to get the two of them back together again?

Her eyes slowly began to fill with tears as she continued to watch him. Watch his movements. Watch his hands move around the bottle in his hands while trying to remove the paper on its side. Watching his eyes move as people walk past him or sit down around him. 

Before she began to cry in front of everyone and he could see her, Y/N stood to her feet and walked away making her way through the masses of people to find an empty section of the house. 

Just as she made it out of the crowd of people and into an empty hallway, the wall of tears burst like water from a dam, falling down her face. She felt the muscles of her chin tremble like a small child and looked toward the window, as if the moon light could soothe her. She hears her own sounds, like a distressed child, raw from the inside. It takes something out of her I didn't know she had left to give. 

The door to the room next to her began to open, making her quickly wipe away the excess tears that were down her cheeks and taking a deep breath in to try and calm her rapid breathing. Looking at her reflection through the window that was opposite the door, she could see two heavily intoxicated guys stumble out of a bedroom, followed by Rafe Camron.

She didn't know what was going on inside of the room, but she knew it was something to do with drugs by the way all three mens pupils were dilated and all had slight residue of white powder around their noses.

He was wearing the usual kook fashion that most at the party dressed in, of khaki shorts and pink and white polo shirt as well as his signature slicked back hair style. He was drunk, but not as much his friend who he was just with. 

His blue eyes followed the other two as they stumbled down the corridor,still standing in the doorway before he landed his eyes on Y/N. He continued to stare, making her so uncomfortable that she began to turn away, to find another quiet place in the house to be alone.

“Y/N right? Sarah's friend?” he asked, stopping her by positioning his body to block the route she was going to take back to the party.

"Uh yeah, but I, I need to um.. I need to go and find Sarah now," she stuttered quietly, cursing at herself for how obvious the discomfort in her voice was. Not wanting to get into a conversation of why she's crying to the person who hates the pogues, and more specifically JJ, the most. 

“You know, I've alway had a thing for you,” Rafe’s raspy voice said, looking down on her. Watching her every move without taking a blink. She backed herself more into the wall, a way of hiding from him. He stalked after her, trapping her. She felt the walls begin to close in every step Rafe took. “But I lost all respect for you when I heard you got with that dirty pogue.”

“Please Rafe, just let me go” she felt more tears burn in her eyes and they began to fall. 

“Now now, don’t cry,” Rafe cooed, shivering when she felt the rough texture of his hands brushing a stray tear from her face with the other hand slightly above her hip. Her body automatically tried to get away from his but his tight grip on my body only made it harder. Pinning her further into the wall.

“I haven’t got laid in awhile,” Rafe said. Y/N’s stomach dropped to the ground. 

Y/N let out a choked sob. “Please,” she pleaded again.

Her watery eyes enlarged and the hairs on the nape of her neck stood up from fear. She tried to scream or make any sort of noise to gain the attention of anyone, but the inside of her mouth lacked any moisture and a croak was all that could make it past her lips. She felt the panic begin like a cluster of spark plugs in her abdomen. 

Rafe placed a chaste kiss on her neck, his stubby fingers curled in her hair and he still had his body pressed against hers against the wall.

Out of nowhere, a balled fist collided with Rafe’s cheekbone, flinging his neck backward like a willow caught in the wind. He stumbled backwards, releasing his body from the terrified girls, rubbing his cheek with his palm. 

“Rafe, what the fuck?” a girl’s voice shouted. Sarah. Y/N collapsed to the floor trying to take in air through her trembling body. Sarah following trying to help calm the petrified girl on the floor

“JJ! Get off of him, you made your point!” another familiar voice shouted. John B.

Looking up through watery eyes she saw the commotion that was unfolding in front of her.

JJ.  

He saved her from Rafe as if he could hear her silent prayers and pleads.

She saw as John B held a struggling JJ from attacking an already bruised and bloody Rafe led on the floor trying to pull himself up.

“Rafe just leave” you heard Sarah say from beside you, as she continued to stroke Y/N’s back.

Gazing over at JJ, his menacing eyes were a blazing red staring at the man as he walked back to the main party. His head tilted down making the rest of his features indistinguishable.

As Rafe left, John B let go of the angry teen and he instantly made his way to her. Before she could draw in the air her body desperately needed, JJ knelt down on her other side and helped her up with help from Sarah.

Standing with his support, she melted into his form. Feeling his firm torso and the heart that beats within. His hands are folded around her back, drawing her in closer. She can feel her body shake. Releasing the current event and seeing him and touching him for the first time since they broke up.

Sarah backed up and clung to John B as tears welled in her eyes as she watched the girl in JJ’s arms. She always saw Y/N as this tough Kook who wouldn’t take shit from anyone. And seeing her best friend so vulnerable at the hands of someone she trusted, hurt.

JJ pulls his head back and wipes the tears that fell from Y/N’s eyes with his callous fingers. Even the roughness of his fingertips brings more relief then her heart can hold. He is eating her with his eyes, running his hand through her Y/H/C hair.

"Hey, hey, it's okay.. you're safe now," he spoke in a quiet hushed voice. Kissing her forehead like they would always do to each other to try and calm themselves down.

In that moment all she could think about was him. Why they broke up and went their separate ways in the first place. It's as if all that love became pain, pain became fear and the fear sowed hatred. Hatred strong enough to break them. Ironic isn't it. Maybe that's the way things go, a strong hate to break a strong love.