clockpinsâ:
âS'pose their ainât shame in believinâ in thâ created condition of justice when people still believe in thâ fae that take your teeth. Hell, thieves nâ lawmen both will bend knee to a buncha scales like they still believe inâ God.â
He tears up the floor with a bit more precision. Anger turning into thinking, thoughtfulness in the act of ripping up some floorboards. Saburov chops around the pipes and kicks up old clay and ancient rat bones. The foundation of the place was the only part where expense wasnât spared. All the dead things were lying on top of the sturdy cement.
Jesterâs tail twitched at the sight of the rats. They hadnât had much trouble with vermin since moving her and Notkin in.
âThing that connects all of those worries is a perception that you ainât gonna die. Nothinâ will happen tomorrow nâ Iâve got all the time in thâ world. Anybody that believes it ainât got worries for whatâs real outside their doors.â
The stove cracks when Saburov tears chunks of flooring out and feeds the flame. It does a bit for warming the room, and then the cold presses down again like a spot of pure pressure.
âPeople are gonna be angry at whoever the hell they want, Old Bite. People gonna tell each other Pest wasnât even real causeâ they ainât got food. People gonna say it wasnât even that deadly, causeâ they never looked outside or they want an excuse for why it hurts. Just keep feedinâ emâ until they find somethinâ else to bitch about as long as they keep being tailors and leatherworkers. Someone else with a hell of a lot more patience for that shitâll, or a job for it, will come along and tellâ emâ theyâre fuckinâ loons.â
Saburov stalks over his handiwork to sink his hands on Jester and scratch behind her ears. She doesnât move. Itâs because heâs slurring and mean.
âEh? Heâs fine nâ with friends. Go ask him yourself if you wanna see how fine he is.â
The rumbling purrs do soothe and cure the draining morale.
And again, Grief had a point. It didnât matter what people believed, so long as they provided what they needed to. So long as the leatherworkers worked leather, so long as the tailors sewed, so long as the butchers kept butchering... maybe there was a chance.
Grief was also apathetic. Not that he could blame the man. He shouldered the burden of derision and distrust from a young age. The apathy was moulded into him as a necessity of survival.
Itâs the same heâd seen with others that had survived combat alongside him. You canât care about your enemies in wartime. Itâs counterproductive. You canât show compassion to those who would rather have you dead.
Leave that to the medics.
The only thing a soldier can do, is follow orders. Kill quickly and follow the Laws of combat, and pray to whatever deity that you take down a hundred more before you fall. Conscience... is not for soldiers. Not suited for those that must kill to survive.
No, the burden of conscience fell to the generals and the politicians. It was his burden now... and the uncertainty was agitating. He didnât even know if he had something that could be called âconscienceâ. There was Law, and the Law exists to maintain order.
Justice first. It wasnât up to him to decide what âgoodnessâ could do.
Katerina had been a crutch for him. Designate when he should be merciful, and when he should not.
Perhaps it was time to let that go. The town didnât need kindness right now. They needed order. Water, food, shelter, heat... Conscience is for those who survived.
We arenât quite there yet, he thinks, but the children...
Stepping away from his break, and leaving Jester to her considerably gaudy and danger-prone throne, Saburov grabs the hammer in hand.
âPerhaps I will, if he doesnât run from my approach. Or Iâll ask Snout and Scout to relay a message. Theyâre quite the couriers. Sharp enough to know a lot. Keen enough to be sure they arenât cheated, too.â
He muses, returning to the work at hand, â... I donât have high hopes for the adults. Adults often donât change their minds unless a confrontation with Death forces their hands. Children? Theyâre used to change. Especially these ones.â
âIn any case,â he continues, dropping the sledge down on the wood, following the careful patterns set along the pipes, âNotkin hasnât run from you, yet- so youâre doing something right- or at the very least, arenât half-bad at what youâre doing.â
Itâs a small bit of humor to return the favor of listening to a man almost fourteen years his senior ramble about frustrations and philosophies.









