did it my way

Feeling accomplished after finally making the house not look like the city dump. 

I’m thinking now of all the conspiracies about me while WAP plays in the background of my mind. What is this night?

Guys I was the ho all along

The Donny Duo needs to end, I’ll sell @21stcentryliability to the highest bidder. 

@21stcentryliability I mean I did learn from the best. I had a nugget craving though. 

I have an addiction to Spiritfarer. I just needed to confess that somewhere. 

I'm not awake enough yet to read theories on how some animal rescue videos online are suspected of being staged. If you're putting an animal in danger for "clout", please take a stroll in rush hour traffic. I'm going to go give my good boys a bunch of treats now.

Being an adult means you don't get out of your car at the Tesco and go after someone who cut you off to steal your parking spot. Thank you, I'm an adult now.

I feel like I need to be taught the art of social media. Says the guy who used to never shut the fuck up on twitter. 

Zayn and me are going to fight again.

False alarm. I am a fucking boomer when it comes to apps. 

Tumblr is fucking hating on me. It’s not letting me see anything after my last post.