The Other Campbell

“Maybe, but I have sex for a living…not this.” He sighed and leaned back against Kyle’s hand, almost closing his eyes in contentment. He had the feeling that Kyle could make being poked in the eye bearable. 

@hesparks | Meme | Accepting 

“It’s fucking stupid is what it is.” He pointed out. Though he let out a quiet sigh when Kyle rubbed the back of his neck. He could deal with this, being around Kyle calmed him down and while he wasn’t ready to admit just how much he liked him…he could enjoy this while it lasted.

“I hope so…I like you…a lot.” Maybe Hayden was reaching as far Kyle was concerned. But he didn’t know how people couldn’t like him. He was going through something he couldn’t understand, but that just made Hayden want to be there for him more…even if he was a drunken mess right now.

“Alright, take me to bed handsome.” He chuckled, still dragging his feet, smiling like an idiot.

“Do you think there’s any way that we can speed this along?” He asked quietly, almost rolling his eyes. Hayden had sex on camera for a lot of money, he certainly wasn’t a corporate guy or a spy for that matter. He leaned back so that he could feel Kyle’s hand and calm his heart. No matter how boring this was, it was still a worry.

“I know, I know…but we should re-visit that subject later,” He patted Kyle’s chest with his free hand and let out a quiet giggle before he could stop himself. He started dragging his feet before shaking his head.

“I had one…times ten.” He started laughing all over again and was really waiting for Kyle to get tired of him.

“I know, I know…but we should re-visit that subject later,” He patted Kyle’s chest with his free hand and let out a quiet giggle before he could stop himself. He started dragging his feet before shaking his head.

“I had one…times ten.” He started laughing all over again and was really waiting for Kyle to get tired of him.

“Once the heat dies off, I got my money tucked away with my sister.” She was one of the only people left in the world that could stand him and he wanted to look after them both if Kyle would let them. He turned and gave the other man a small smile before trying to make it look like he was paying attention. He knew that he could be around this much longer.

Hayden looked around the room despite knowing that he would follow through with this in any case. When he finally looked back over at Kyle he was smiling. “Think you can get us out of here?”

Hayden trusted his luck with Kyle over SHIELD, and in any case, a life underground wasn’t a life at all. 

@gotleftbehind cont.

Hayden looked up with a cheeky smile on his face and offered a hand out to the other man. “Only if you come with me.” He pretended to think about it for a moment. “Maybe a little.”

@adifferentkindofstar | Meme | Accepting 

GAME GRUMPS SENTENCE STARTERS. 

❝ God, what if we just fucked one day? ❞

❝ Don’t sass me in front of the internet. ❞

❝ Follow your stupid fucking dreams. ❞

❝ Come at me scrub lord, I’m ripped. ❞

❝ I just wanna have sex with space. ❞

❝ Get in the tub with me, daddy. ❞

❝ Will you just relax and let me kill for money? ❞

❝ That sounds like your problem. Fuck you. ❞

❝ Stay in school. Don’t do drugs. Eat your teeth. ❞ 

❝ Make like a tree and fucking die. ❞

❝ Dude just…just pity laugh at least. ❞

❝ Man, Club Penguin’s gotten weird. ❞

❝ We are like the Stephen Kings of stupid. ❞

❝ Why do you enjoy watching me suffer so? ❞

❝ Do I have to jerk you off to blow your mind? ❞

❝ I haven’t had so much fun since I killed my parents. ❞

❝ Unfortunately I had sex with a guy/girl over the weekend. ❞

❝ What’s a vegetarian zombie say? GRAAAAAAAINS. ❞

❝ Revenge is a best dish served fuck you. ❞

❝ Who wears pants anymore? So 2015. ❞

❝ I need an ice cream sandwich and a gentle blowjob. ❞

❝ Don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya. ❞

❝ The bananas has gone bad! ❞

❝ I cared for those bananas! I raised them with my own two feet! ❞

❝ Did you know I’m a professional joke? My life is a joke. ❞

❝ What if everyone just had constant helicopter dick? ❞

❝ [ name ], does getting me wet fill you with determination? ❞

❝ I can’t prove that someone ISN’T a reptilian. ❞

❝ Wouldn’t it be funny if, like, you lost a family member? ❞

❝ These balls are coming at me fast and furious. It’s like that movie, ‘Speed’. ❞ 

❝ Call me One Direction ‘cause my relevancy is dropping by the day. ❞ 

❝ One time I killed a person and I didn’t report it to the police. ❞

❝ I wanna take a girl to the Grand Canyon, fuck her, and throw her in. ❞ 

❝ Nothing like a gunshot wound to the face to really mellow someone out. ❞ 

❝ If I can’t be the best, I sure as hell can be the worst! ❞ 

❝ [ name ], I’m on a date with a guy/girl right now and you’re embarrassing me. ❞

❝ I’ve made a decision. I’m gonna in the kitchen, gonna open the dishwasher, and I’m gonna climb inside. ❞

❝ I do apologize for my actions, even though they were totally and completely justified. ❞

❝ I could pee on this couch, right now, no problem, while looking you directly in the eyes.❞ 

❝ Look, you tell a couple jokes as a dad and suddenly everyone’s like ‘you’re making dad jokes.’ ❞

❝ All of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are blue, except for three of them. And there are four. ❞ 

❝ And Abraham said unto Moses, ‘Bro, dude, aliens.’ ❞

❝ I’m gonna throw you out the window. We don’t even have any windows in this room…I’m gonna carve out a window and throw you through it. ❞ 

❝ DO IT YOU SACK OF SHIT! – Sorry. That didn’t come out as encouraging as I meant it to. ❞

❝ [ name ], if there’s one thing I can be totally honest about, it’s that I would happily lie to your face.❞

❝ If I took pole-dancing, I would be worried that it would be too erotic for everybody else. ❞

❝ Next time we make love, [ name ], would you please refer to me as your sweet cakey treasure? ❞   

❝ I try to show at least one other human-being my butt hole every single day. ❞

❝ The only people who don’t like sluts are the people who don’t get any. ❞ 

❝ Have you ever though of a career in driving people fucking insane? Because you are already a PRO at it. ❞ 

❝ I am actively looking for ways to get you to shut the fuck up. ❞

❝ First of all, you have to stop calling it ‘Mary Jane.’ That’s the first rule of stonerdom. People will think you’re a fucking narc. ❞

❝ First of all, no one says ‘pot-eyes’, you fuckin’ narc. ❞

❝ If by OK you mean like on the inside I’m just going ‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!’ then yes, I’m quite OK ❞

❝ When you walk outside there are three elements of nature that you must avoid: snow, wind, and bees. ❞