ain't nothin' fair.

I love dante from the hit video game series devil may cry because he is somehow both the coolest motherfucker in the room and also a complete loser. he has soloed some of the most powerful beings in existence. he is constantly surrounded by beautiful women and yet he gets with none of them. he and his twin brother both suffer from a chronic case of The Cain Instinct. he rides around on a demon-powered motorcycle. his favorite pastimes are kicking ass and taking names, and also dance dance revolution. he has “been stabbed and jabbed by a number of things over the years.” he is obsessed with strawberry sundaes. he is constantly broke as shit because he keeps giving away his money to people who’ve lost their homes or family members to demon attacks, but also because he refuses to eat anything except for pizza and flakes out on jobs because he supposedly “got bored.” he fist-fought his nephew in the vatican. he truly is the character of all time.

you've heard of "he would not fucking say that" now get ready for "he would not be that comfortable with his own sexuality"

The people who insist AI is smarter than a human are doing their fucking damnedest to manifest that

Propaganda this, propaganda that. You should take a propa ganda at these Fine Dwarven Crafts, direct from Orzammar! You won't find better.

I lowkey hate when programs talk to me in a friendly way. "don't worry, nearly there!" Shut up. It should say "loading 64.3% completed. Do not turn off device" and absolutely nothing else. You arent my friend you are computer. Act like it

chris redfield you are so dear to me. wdym you raised your little sister despite your small age gap because your parents died young and left you two all alone in the world? wdym you play guitar and got you and claire matching leather jackets? wdym you were in the air force but your values overrode your training and you disobeyed your superiors and then got into stars? wdym you co-founded bssa and watched it decay under the same greed as umbrella? wdym you are an expert marksman and combatant and pilot and strategist and technician etc. wdym you laughed at wesker when you heard his ridiculous grand plan, straight up giggling? wdym you got amnesia and yet remembered leon the second you saw him? wdym you watched piers die? wdym you raised your friend’s daughter after you failed to save him? wdym you are fully aware that america is a capitalistic hellscape and yet the individuality of its people can be salvation and undoing? wdym you are slutted out in sexy add-on outfits more than every other protagonist in the franchise? wdym you’ve smoked all these years? wdym your eyes are either brown or grey and change? wdym you wore a hawaiian shirt to go to a vacation spot that was not even mildly tropical? wdym your brown hair is reddish in the light? wdym you punched a boulder and word got around so a decade later strangers are making fun of you for it? wdym you only got more muscular with age and you’re STILL bigger than leon despite barely being taller than him? wdym your bestie is jill valentine? wdym you make your teammates call you alpha? what did you mean by that?