The World's Greatest Detective

(cory michael smith. 35. he/him. cis male.)  are you a VILLAIN? something tells me that green neon signs, perfectly fitted suits, and twitching fingers make you who you are, EDWARD NYGMA. with the power of GENIUS-LEVEL INTELLECT, you’re sure to have a intelligent, attention-craving personality — and you definitely belong to UNAFFILIATED. were you listening to EIGHTH WONDER by LEMON DEMON on your way to the subway? it suits you. we can’t wait to see what you do next! 

@reshieldedintro

?? FULL BIO ?? PLAYLIST ??

          “  both  -  ”    she  states  with  a  shrug  ,   shoulders  moving  in  union  .   “  so  ,   riddler  ,   what  plans  of  yours  am  i  ruining  for  you  tonight ?  ”  

“So you truly see into people’s dreams? And once you’re there, you can manipulate them?” Edward said, leaning in close to stare at Carl, as if he could see his dream powers work through his eyes. “Remarkable.” Edward leaned back in his chair, a big smile on his face. He didn’t et a lot of chances to work alongside metahumans while in Gotham, and now that he was here, he had every intention of finding out everything.

Edward never intended to ever provide medical assistance to people, but word seemed to spread that Edward was once involved in the medical field, and usually didn’t ask too many questions, which meant the occasional person ended up on his doorstep, asking every question under the sun. And, if Edward wasn’t too busy on one thing or another, he was happy to share his knowledge. “I forgot your question entirely. What was it again?”

the riddler was not a villain cassandra frequently came in contact with. in fact, she’d never fought him before. bruce didn’t want her dealing with his more prolific villains unless absolutely necessary. cass’s lack of proficiency with spoken language often meant she wasn’t at the top of the team roster when edward was enacting his schemes. they’d rather brute force their way through his plans than decode his riddles. but sometimes, you can’t pick your battles. “someone might find them charming if you didn’t put others’ lives in danger. why not put your mind to good use?”

Edwards face instantly melted from his jovial smile, to a more serious and stern expression. “Honestly, do you think it’s that easy? To simply wake up one day and be completely different?” Edward shook his head back and forth, tutting softly as he did so. “If it were as easy as you claimed it to be, wouldn’t everyone be a hero? Riddle me this- Indulge me for a moment,” Edward said, putting his hands up, as if stopping Cass from coming towards him “Why would someone choose to be a villain? Do you think we all chose this route? You think I longed to be evil from birth? You don’t think I ever had loftier ambitions at some point? What good is a hero without a villain? What is good without bad to compare it to?”

❝ you should have stopped at gotham. ❞ she muses. ❝ explains enough. i’ve visited a few times on business and i get why the city needs batman. ❞ lois lived in metropolis and while it had its own issues and supervillains, it still wasn’t gotham. ❝ i mean, i’m from metropolis and even that has its own fair share of transport issues. ❞ she takes her phone out and checks the time. ❝ around 25 minutes. i should just get a taxi at this point. ❞

so it seemed this little back and forth was never going to be officially finished. oswald preferred to have the last word parley just because he could, but he damn well knew that ed was dramatic enough to keep fighting him for it. at the end of the way, he knew full well there had been some hand in creating the riddler as much as ed may want to deny it. but, for now, the penguin would allow it to slide. besides, they had far more important matters to attend to. there were business meetings he would be missing now that he was stuck in this hell hole with the last person he had wanted to see in this world. 

“i could do without the sarcasm,” he grumbled. what was it about ed that always made him like this?? oswald tended to be the smartest person in the room at all times, yet whenever it came to the other, he always foundered and felt unsure of himself. it was beyond frustrating. debating the plan, he was rather reluctant to admit that it was one that would most likely work. given how these cops were already acting, they seemed to be more of the dim witted sort just as they were both used to back home in gotham. aside from gordon, of course. “fine. we can go along with your little plan, and keep the truce for that amount of time. afterwards, there will be no place in this world that you’ll be able to hide from me.” and oswald would make certain of that. 

glowering at the other, he turned, limping his way towards the bars once more. from there it was simple, really. he was rather good at getting people’s attention with his loudness, excelled at keeping it on him. when that poor guard came over to deal with it, he was far too busy trying to get oswald to quiet down and behave once more that it was a simple matter to relinquish the key from the man. after all, he’d started on the lower levels with pick pocketing when he’d been younger – it was a rather useful skill to posses in gotham. once the guard had left, eyes rolled before he was turned back towards ed, holding out the key. “see, it comes in handy when you need a good distraction. you’re welcome.”

“Well I managed to avoid your sights for an entire calendar year, so I’m confident in my ability to continue doing that.” Edward said smugly, plucking the key from Oswald’s hand. Teasing Oswald like this came naturally, after so many months of being in awe of his mere presence, the fact that they had fallen so far that any respect that Edward once had for him was gone, was frankly remarkable. Almost sad in a sense, profoundly sad, but Edward has never had a relationship, in any sense of the word, last through so many different phases. Edward used too collect newspaper clippings of the Penguin, and now? He could barely stand the sight of him.

But there was no denying that made a good team. If it weren’t for Oswald’s sudden (yet inevitable) betrayal, they could have done some real good work for Gotham. Edward had plans for re-elections upon re-elections already drawn up when they all had to be scrapped. Edward was never good at talking to people, but Oswald had this natural ease and charm about him when he spoke to you. As if you were the only person in the room. Or perhaps that was only how he used to speak to Edward, to help him fall into a ruse. Edward was thinking in circles.

Edward, from his still crouched position on the ground (feigning tying his shoelace, or something equally as inconspicuous), watched as the guard walked away, the tangle of wires hidden out of his sight. “Unlock the door and hold it shut. Open it once the alarm starts blaring. If you close it before I can leave, I guarantee it will b on of the last things you do.” It was a calculated move, putting the idea of betraying Edward (again) into Oswald’s mind. Oswald needed Edward to escape. Edward gave Oswald a few moments to get the key inserted through the other side, as Edward crossed some wires, his eyes involuntarily shutting at the sudden rush of electricity. The alarm for a cell at the other end started to blare, and Edward stood up quickly. “Shall we make our grand escape?” Edward said with his usual maniac grin.

it’s  IRONIC  the  choices  this  universe  has  him  making;  back  home,  given  the  opportunity,  he  would’ve  dreamt  of  the  opportunity  to  choke  every  villainous  prick  out  within  a  five  mile  radius  and  would’ve  gone  home  in  time  for  tea  but  there  were  bigger  issues  at  hand  here  (  not  to  mention  he  hated  that  people  here  could  rat  him  out  as  red  hood  so  easily  ).  “  If  I  wanted  you  dead,  you’d  be  dead  —  it’s  as  simple  as  that,  asshole.  ”  cocky  ?  sure  but  he’d  certainly  be  doing  his  best  to  make  it  a  reality  if  it  was  even  slightly  the  case.  fists  balled  up  so  tightly,  it  feels  as  though  he  could  tear  his  own  palms  in  two.  “  just  because  I  can’t  I  haven’t  yet,  ain’t  mean  i’m  playing  nice.  so  riddle  me  that  !  ”

“And I fully believe you. By your logic, I haven’t done anything to draw your ire yet, or perhaps you view this city as a fresh start?” Edward said, knowing fully that he was poking the bear. The Red Hood was a force to be reckoned with in Gotham, and was few of those Batfamily members that never pulled any punches, much to Edward’s chagrin. Even he didn’t fully know where the Red Hood came from, if Batman had just started a new trend of adopting adults into his coterie of miscreants. “I would ‘riddle you that’ as you so eloquently put it, if there was a riddle to be had.” Edward replied. “I will live each day as my last, living in constant fear you’ll come crashing through my window. Of course, this will do nothing in the long run.”

“My first paycheck from working at the GCPD went towards buying clothes, since the ones I had from my college days were not adequate for police work. There was only one pair of shoes I could find in my size, and they were the only shoes I wore to work for many years. They’re lasted through every sort of weather, fluid found at crime scenes, and different living situations. They’re plain black dress shoes, so they go with everything, at least I think they do..”

22.) Are you a morning person?

“Not in the slightest. Even though my previous employment at the GCPD required me to be there rather early, it was difficult getting up every morning. Now that I sleep later, and aren’t necessarily restricted by a schedule, I am more agreeable to whatever time I end up waking up.”

33.) Whats your fave pastry?

“I don’t enjoy sweets all that much. Even though that old wives’ tale about sugar affecting the brain is not as true as many believe, I still find it distracting to be filled up on sweets all the time. I do enjoy certain deserts, that tend to skew a little less sweet, such as pies, or cobblers.”

44.) When was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

“While I still had my position as chief of staff for Gotham’s mayoral office. It felt as if we were the kings of the world, until it was all pulled out from under me. But just for a few short months, it was the happiest i’ve been in my entire life.”

“I try not to keep a strict record, since anything would get traced back to me. And some of those people were... occasions were their death was not the intended outcome. I’m most likely hovering around 80 that I am aware of, though there might be others that come along with the job. Cracking a few eggs to make an omelet.”