let others rise to take our place

SPOILERS FOR SEASON 17 BELOW — photographs are from IMDB!✬

When I switched on my daily episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race this morning, I did not expect to be in tears for the coming hour. 

For the past eight years, I have watched Drag Race avidly. The last episodes of every season are always emotional—I will never forget how much I cried the first time I saw s9e12, when Peppermint gets to address her little self. Currently, I am catching up on season 17. It is a fun watch: Onya Nurve and Lexi Love have just won the monologue challenge—the turkey dress is the funniest runway I have ever seen. Today I turned on episode 13 of the 17th season, called “Drag Baby Mamas”—unsuspecting of what was to come. 

They started with the “Spill the Tea” mini-challenge: I watched while scrolling on my phone and drinking coffee, as usual. RuPaul presents the episode’s challenge and I realize it’s time for my favorite main challenge: the makeover! RuPaul announces she wants the girls to become drag mothers in today’s challenge! I think—as the contestants did—oh, maybe it’s superfans or students or some other fitting group. But the doors open and Sam Star’s mother walks through. And Sam breaks down in tears. Not only Sam, everyone starts crying—before they even fully realize what is happening. They just see Sam and her mother, and they all feel that joy, that relief. Then Suzie Toot’s mother walks in. Suzie, already in tears, hugs her mother. And then Onya’s father walks in. Onya collapses on the floor, sobbing. Jewels’ father walks in and Jewels jumps into his arms; he carries her back to the others. And finally, Lexi’s mother enters. Lexi sobs, shocked and so happy. It is, maybe, five minutes into the episode and tears are streaming down my face. I was not expecting to cry this much; and I know, in that moment, that this entire episode will be very emotional. And it is. 

Onya hugs her father when he enters.

Jewels hugs her father when he enters.

Lexi hugs her mother when she enters.

Sam hugs her mother when she enters.

All of it is about acceptance: What a parent’s unconditional love and acceptance can do for their child. How it allows them to blossom, to live free and happy and as themselves. It also shows how it’s never too late. Lexi and her mother speak openly about their struggles, their severe falling-outs, Lexi’s addiction and homelessness, and how they found their way back to each other. How her mother finally accepts Lexi’s transness. We hear her mother using she/her pronouns when referring to Lexi for the first time on national television. Lexi cries the entire episode; and who can blame her? 

Lexi and her mother.

Lexi and her mother.

Lexi Love and her mother (Mimi Lovely) in drag on the main stage.

Then there is Onya’s father. He has been in and out of prison, missed many important moments in his children’s life. But he’s here now. He is in drag, on TV, with his son, supporting and loving and lifting him up. When RuPaul asks what went through his head when they called to ask whether he wanted to participate in the challenge, Onya’s father states his first thought was: “Of course.” He continues to explain how his children have always supported him, and he will always be there to support them. I sob over this. The way this man shows up for his child, after everything; there is not a shred of hesitation to have his son transform him into a drag queen on national television. I think this is what true fearlessness looks like. 

Onya Nurve and her father (Nunya Bidness) in drag on the main stage.

Onya's father tries on a wig in the Werkroom.

Onya and her father listening to RuPaul.

RuPaul emphasizes throughout the episode how important this representation is: parents who show up for their children, who support them no matter what. It is so beautiful, so incredibly moving, and so significant. I think of all the young people at home, watching this, feeling alone or unaccepted, and discovering that love is unconditional; there are people out there who will love you no matter what. If your family cannot give you that love, there are people out there who will. They will be your family and they will love you, always. This is why I keep watching Drag Race, through thick and thin. I don’t agree with how this show, at times, is produced, and how it stirs unnecessary drama and difficulty for the contestants. But oh, my God: episodes like this are LIFE-CHANGING. They save lives. Yeah, this show saves lives. I wish more people understood that. 

Suzie Toot and her mother (Queenie Toot) in drag on the main stage.

Sam Star and her mother (Sassy Star) in drag on the main stage.

Lexi helps her mother getting ready ahead of the runway.

Jewels shaves her father's beard, getting ready to put him in drag for the main stage.

Susie and her mother plan their runway in the Werkroom.

Jewels and her father hug during the Walkthrough with Ru.

If you haven't seen RuPaul's Drag Race and want to watch an episode; this is one you could start with. It is, what I imagine, a representative of the show's heart. What it's meant to convey: community, acceptance, and love. Ru calls herself Mama Ru because so many queer artists are disowned by their families; the show is a symbol of communtiy and connection. As with anything embroiled in money, marketing, competition, neoliberalism, etc., the show has it faults: but I do think this message, the love, is what exists at its heart. At least, I want to believe that. But I do know this: representation matters. And that is one thing the show continues to bring.