First of all I want to say that I'm very remorseful for my actions. Being away from everything, isolated from people, the internet, just everything, has changed my perspective on life. Growing up, I was exposed to the internet at a very young age, and all that was bad stemmed from it. The internet made me a horrible horrible person. I was groomed and assulted multiple times growing up, by people my own age and people older than me. I've always denied anything happening because I've felt like expressing this to anyone made me weak. Sometimes, I still do. My own parents don't even know about it. I was also bullied growing up, very severely that I had been suicidal since the age of 7. I never expressed this feeling because I felt like others would not take me seriously since I was so young. I spoke out on the bullying, but no one really paid attention to what I said, even If my parents spoke out. My parents and my family tried to help me growing up, but I never really accepted it for some reason. I don't know why, but I thought they were also against me. I wanted help, But I wouldn't accept it when It came. Later on, this just changed into thoughts of "I could/can never be loved". My parents tried their hardest and they wanted to give me a better life than they had. They're still trying their hardest trying to get me home. Around the age of 10 I found Joy in hurting those that hurt me (which I don't anymore) and around 12 I just enjoyed hurting others, but also around 12 I fell into a very very deep depression. I felt like there was nothing left for me anymore. I refused anyone’s attempts to help me. One day i decided to speak out, and I was [?] [?] for suicidal reasons. In 2024. I found it more of a joke and not serious since I had felt like this before, but I found out others did not. honestly, I felt like this was the first time I had that someone took me seriously. I was extremely grateful for this and I started changing, but in 2025 something happened. I just relapsed into the person i used to be. Around the same time, I had met Lois Lippert (my co-defendant) and we both got worse together. I ask and pray that you have sympathy and compassion on her. In 2022-23 I joined this group called TCC (True Crime Community), which has also affected me greatly. This group — they all promoted violence, I felt seen there, but in reality it was deteriorating me. I got groomed on this community further into believing that violence was great, the people that were my so-called friends only ever wanted me to harm myself or others. I had met one person in particular that likes to cause me stress and damage. He was responsible for an incident at my school, When me and Lois spoke we used to joke about me killing [redacted] and since we were both in such horrible mental states we thought it was ok. Now to explain about [redacted] I used to like him a lot because he reminded me of a shooter I liked (which I no longer do) I have multiple forms of anxiety so I never spoke to him in fear of being rejected, so I started following him around which I am deeply sorry about now. When I was detained I started acting recklessly and edgy, I made everything sound worse than it was because I wanted help. I wanted to paint myself as more insane so I could be sent to some place where I could get help, but obviously it didn’t work as I’ve been here I’ve been thinking about my life and my choices and i please beg and ask of you to please have some sympathy on me for as I want to change and I’m changing as a person. I’m not the same girl I was these three months ago.”
prguitarman
2087
vaporwave
stormborns
kianamaiart
yousharknotpass
