6,000 year slow burn

Why I believe the coffee is important…but not because it’s been tampered with. The coffee represents exactly how Metatron manipulated Aziraphale to return to heaven.

Let’s take a look back at that painful final episode.

In Nina’s coffee shop, the Metatron makes an interesting remark: “Do people ever ask for death? The name of your establishment is Give me Coffee or Give me Death. I assume they always ask for coffee.” And when Nina replies that they never ask for death, he says “No I don’t suppose they do. So predictable.”

This is an interesting line! And in my experience, interesting lines don’t show up for no reason. My takeaway from this is that it means when given the choice between a mildly pleasant thing (coffee) and an extremely unpleasant one (death), the predictable choice most people will make is to pick coffee. Here’s where things get interesting. The Metatron proceeds to apply this exact logic on Aziraphale.

Let’s fast forward just a little bit, to Aziraphale’s retelling of his talk with the Metatron. After being offered the position of supreme archangel, Aziraphale initially refuses! He says “but I don’t want to go back to heaven. Where would I get my coffee?” In other words, Aziraphle likes earth and is happy here amongst his people and things. To this, the Metatron responds: “As supreme archangel, you would be able to decide who to work with…” and says that he was looking back at his precious exploits and saw his “de facto partnership with the demon Crowley.” And continues “Now if you wanted to work with him again, that might be considered irregular. But it would certainly be within your jurisdiction to restore your friend Crowley to full angelic status.” On my first watching, I didn’t catch the threat — but it absolutely was one! Because here, the Metatron has asked Aziraphale to choose between coffee and death. He’ll have to return to heaven, BUT he’ll be able to be with Crowley! The alternative is the threat of never being able to work with Crowley again. And just as the Metatron has predicted, Aziraphle chooses coffee. Because to Aziraphale, the alternative would be inconceivable.

Off the top of my head, a non-comprehensive list:

Lets Aziraphale drive the Bentley

Helps harbor Gabriel, wanted by Heaven and Hell

Babysits Gabriel and watches the bookshop

Dances!!

Follows Aziraphale around while he plans the neighborhood meeting ball

Shows up the SECOND Aziraphale calls (plus the comment about Aziraphale only calling when he needs something, wants to talk about something he’s proud of, or he’s bored)

Helps to set Maggie and Nina up

Sneaks into Heaven

Aziraphale has come to rely on Crowley. He says that Crowley likes saving him — and he clearly does — but I think he’s also come to expect that, at the end of they day, Crowley will show up for him when asked. However, at the end of the second season, we have a shift. Aziraphale has a plan — he’s going to fix Heaven, and he asks Crowley to help him do it.

And Crowley says no.

Because of course he does! This is the one thing that Crowley cannot do. This is so much more than Aziraphale asking for a dance, or to borrow his car, or even for Crowley to risk his existence solving an angelic mystery. In asking Crowley to return to heaven, to once more become an angel, Aziraphale has asked Crowley to change a fundamental part of himself, to be something that he is not.

This is a necessary and pivotal character moment for each of them. It’s important for Crowley, because he’s realized what he’s not willing to compromise on. And you can see that it breaks his heart to do it. He loves Aziraphale. And now Aziraphale indisputably knows it too, but Crowley will not become something he’s not — even for him. And Aziraphale? I think he’s begun what will be a season’s worth of learning: that Crowley has limits, and Crowley needs to be shown up for in the same way that Crowley’s been showing up for Aziraphale all these years. They both clearly love one another, but things have not been balanced between them. Do I wish that this was a lesson that could have been had mid-season and resolved by the final episode so that we weren’t left with that last gut wrenching ten minutes before an indeterminate wait for season 3? YES. However, I can also see how this development could absolutely need a full season to bring it to fruition.