love is hate

“Is that any way to address your prince?” 

You turn to face him, clad in his usual soft, black and green leather. The last you had seen him was three days ago during your training with Frigga, which he usually attends even if all he does is sit on the concrete steps by the wall, reading a book, until he was sent to tend to an urgent matter in a different city. 

“My apologies, Prince Loki.” You lower your head slightly in a bow, eyes full of jest, “When did you return?” 

“Earlier.” He takes steps closer and the night light only does favours to his already beautiful complexion. “I thought I sensed your magic here so I sought out the source. Turns out it was only a book.” 

The item materialises in his hand. He moves it back when you reach out and sends you a knowing look. 

“The first thing you do after your return is to look for me? I’m honoured.” You smile. “Did you miss me that much?” 

Stepping closer for another attempt to snatch the book away, you come face to face with him as he makes it disappear once again. “And if my answer is yes?” Your faces only inches apart, his green eyes bore into yours and you take in a breath but it sounded more like a soft gasp. 

Clearing your throat, you divert your gaze to the ground, ignoring the rapid beating of your heart and take a few steps back. Loki is always teasing you, he probably didn’t mean that anyway. “Loki⎼ Prince Loki, may I have my book back please?” 

“Have you ever heard the phrase, finders keepers?” 

“Please?” You muster up the cutest pout to the best of your abilities. 

Loki tries to fight the way his eyes wish to remain glued to your lips but it’s a futile attempt. His own press together in a tight smile and he holds out his hand with the book in it. You study him for a few moments before deciding it isn’t a trick this time. But of course you should have known it wouldn’t be that easy. It disappears just as the tips of your fingers brush against it, your hand lands atop his, he takes the chance and wraps his fingers around yours. Within a fraction of a second, your surroundings change. 

You now stand on a balcony at the end of a familiar hallway, stairs leading down to the garden on your left and before you, a magnificent view overlooking the sleeping city of Asgard. A favourite spot of yours, where you spend many late afternoons watching the sun go down, and many of those times with Loki right beside you. 

“Lovely view this time of night, don’t you think?” From the corner of your eye, you notice his eyes don’t leave you as he says that yet he looks away when you turn to him. “So calm and peaceful.” 

“My my,” you giggle, the sound like heaven to his ears, “feeling sentimental tonight, are we? What a rare occasion.” 

“You dare mock your prince?” 

“I am not.” you hold your head up, noting the lack of seriousness in his tone this time, “I am only stating facts, your highness.” 

He mirrors your smile with something akin to fondness in his eyes, but it disappears almost immediately and he averts his gaze down then back at the view. It makes your heart twist with hope but you remind yourself that you would only be setting yourself up for disappointment. 

After a period of comfortable silence, you lean toward him and whisper as if not to disturb his moment of peace, “Loki? Can I have my book back now?” 

He copies your movement, moving in unbelievably close, lips hovering just over your ear and your shoulder lifts up slightly when his breath tickles your skin, “No.” 

“Loki.” You manage to keep your voice steady and stern yet it only makes him chuckle. A pair of guards walk by, pausing for a moment to acknowledge the prince while you turn away to hide your burning face. 

Would they speak of this to others? What would people say if word gets round of you and the prince being up at such a timing, in close proximity, enjoying what one considers a rather romantic view? You wait till they turn the corner of the garden and their backs are out of view before turning back to him. “I’m starting to think you’re only doing this to keep me here. You don’t have to resort to such things to spend time with me, you know.” 

“Are you saying you are willing to entertain me whenever I wish?” 

“No,” you drag out the word and speak slowly as if you’re explaining something to a child. “I will spend time with you and keep you company if you ask nicely.” 

He nods as he listens and a satisfied smile plays on his lips. “You know I will hold you to that.” 

“I know.” You smile, “I mean it.”

“Very well then. I’ll return what’s yours.” 

“Wait, really?”

The surprise is evident on your face. You were sure he wouldn’t back down so quickly. “But only on the condition that I may have a look at its contents. Just to be sure it really is yours.” 

Of course. He holds up the book with a mischievous grin and shrugs. 

He knows for a fact that it’s yours. You’re never without it. It holds all the notes you’ve taken down after every lesson with Frigga. Loki often looks on as you write, complaining about how redundant writing is when you can just memorise from practice and that you’re wasting time. Yet he stays with you till you’re done. 

The other half of the book however, is full of sketches; sceneries, flowers, random palace people...and of Loki. 

You shift uncomfortably at the thought of him seeing your drawings of him. You had set a protection charm over the book so no one other than you, unless you allow it, would be able to see its contents. Mainly so no one else would have access to your notes on magic, but the many sketches you have of the prince isn’t something you’d like others to get their hands on either.

“Well?” He steps closer still flashing a grin. 

“Alright.” You say, albeit timidly. A look of slight surprise graces his features and with a flick of your wrist, the charm goes undone temporarily.

You watch closely as he flips from page to page, a playful smirk still playing on his lips until he reaches the halfway mark and the pages appear blank. His brows furrow in confusion and sharp eyes find you again while a finger traces the page from top to bottom. “You’re hiding these pages from me. You’re getting better at controlling your magic.” 

“Her Majesty is my mentor after all.” You say proudly, the anxiety slowly dissipating. “Isn’t she why you’re as powerful as you are?” 

The book snaps shut and you teleport it into your hands, celebrating internally when it works. It would’ve been embarrassing had it not; teleporting isn’t your strong suit, not yet at least. “It’s late,” you say as you shove it safely into your satchel, but when you look up he’s gone. “Loki?”

“You’re right.” His voice whispers in your ear and you yelp, spinning on your feet to find him smirking behind you. Why do you always fall for that? "It's late. You shouldn't be walking around the palace at this time on your own." 

"If there was anywhere I could be walking around on my own it would be in this palace." 

He hums in agreement. "Why don't we take a shortcut?" 

He offers his palms out to you. You haven’t mastered teleporting yourself yet, only managing to do so over a small distance, so you place your hands in his, fingers very gently holding on to yours. The next moment you're standing outside the doors to your chambers in the apprentice wing. His eyes never tear away from yours.

"Thank you Loki." 

"You are most welcome." He stands and looks around expectantly, and when you question his motives, he looks at the large doors behind you. "Aren't you going to invite me in?" 

You let out a hearty laugh, he waits patiently for you to be done, thoroughly amused himself at how you found that funny. "You wish."

“I thought you said you were willing to spend time with me?”

“Yes,” you look at him unbelievably, “but not now.”

“Well I demand you to.” 

“Well I respectfully reject it.” You hold back a laugh from escaping when the corners of his mouth drops into a frown. “Sorry to break it to you but sometimes in life you don’t get everything you wish for.” 

"Oh but you see, if I truly wish for something," his eyes dart to your lips, "it will be mine sooner or later." 

You shove him playfully on the chest but only to hide the embarrassment. He lowers his head in a smirk, taking a few steps back then looks up at you with his usual look of disinterest. 

“Goodnight.” 

“Goodnight Loki.” 

And he disappears. Pushing through the doors and making your way straight to the bed, you lie on your back and place your hands on both sides of your cheeks, feeling it burn. Then you roll on your front, reaching for the notebook and flipping to the second half where it gets messier, full of lead marks and more importantly doodles and drawings of Loki. Those only you can see. You sigh in relief. 

“Wait⎼” Something is amiss. You get on your knees, close the book to take a deep breath and open it up again. Your most recent drawing of him is gone; one you had worked on this afternoon from memory alone, a portrait of his piercing eyes, raven locks and signature smirk. You were sure you’re on the exact page it was drawn on. But it’s empty. Your heart beats a mile a minute. To be extra sure, you check the other pages in a hurry, carelessly flipping through without caring if the pages get folded.

It couldn’t be the charm, as it should work only on others. Everything should appear before you. Turning to the page it’s supposed to be on again, you blink once, twice then squint as something starts to appear, but it isn’t your drawing as you had hoped. 

A little sloppy. Good effort though. I’m keeping it.  

Your eyes widen, lips part and insides start to twist.