#rainworks

peace resumes seconds later and his warmth blankets you, arms pulling you close, resting his face in the crook of your neck. “time to wake up.” he mutters.

you protest with a whine and feel his smile against your skin, rolling over to melt into his arms. “don’t wanna.”

jungkook sighs, cherishing moments like these where he gets to wake up next to you on the weekends, and laze around. despite your unwillingness to get up, you don’t go back to sleep, choosing to lay in his arms, head against his chest while jungkook runs a soothing hand on your back. 

his eyes flicker out the window, where the sun would usually come shining in by this hour. but a new season has taken over, and the clouds leave a trail of shadows behind.

“two weeks till christmas.” he mutters and your eyes flip open. 

“excited?” you say, shifting your head to look up at him. “our first time celebrating together since college.”

jungkook stretches his free side and shifts to lie on his back, hand behind his head. “i’m just glad i don't have to spend it cooped up with jaemin.”

“aw but the pictures of you two wearing christmas hats together was so cute.” you chuckle.

it was one of the few pictures they took together, and he’d explained how they missed celebrating christmas so much that they put hats on and had a christmas movie marathon that day. 

jungkook smiles but pretends he doesn’t know what you’re talking about. then he rolls back over and rests his top half over yours, making you groan as he lets his weight rest on you. “much rather be right here.” he comments, face smooshed into the pillow next to your head. 

“yeah,” your voice comes out strangled beneath him and he laughs, lifting himself. he lowers himself comfortably to your chest and your hands gently brush his hair. 

you stay that way for a moment, feeling his body rise and fall against you as he fights falling back asleep. 

“my dad’s really excited to meet you.” 

jungkook’s eyes snap open suddenly, no longer drowsy, or calm. they find your as he lifts his head. “your dad- oh are we- for christmas?”

his reaction tickles you, but he’s absolutely serious now, abandoning his comfy position and sitting up on the bed, facing you. your hand rests on his. “you know i always spend christmas back home.” 

“right.” his body deflates. “i forgot.” 

“and you’re coming with me,” you say, getting up yourself, “you’ve been invited.” 

“more like summoned.” jungkook gulps, pouting when you break into laughter. “does he…approve…of me? of us?”

“if he didn’t, he wouldn’t bother.” you reassure him. “he’s dying to finally meet the person i was willing to risk my life over.”

jungkook’s mind goes into a frenzy every time he thinks about facing your dad. how could he, when he’d put you in danger all those years ago? landed you in the hospital with a concussion after being held hostage with a gun to your head? 

“you know actually…” jungkook clears his throat, “i might stay and look over the studio. if everyone’s going home then i’m gonna need to…you know…take on clients or…walk-ins…”

the blank stare in your eyes tells him you’re not buying it. jungkook had avoided every trip back home since. there was always something. and you always gave him the benefit of the doubt. but logically, you know what he’s doing, and you know why he’s so skittish. 

you tilt your head, “jungkook, you can’t avoid him forever.” 

“i’m not-” he snorts, fumbling over his words, “i w- it’s just not- you’re crazy.”

you raise a brow, resisting the urge to burst out laughing. jungkook winces at his own pathetic attempt. 

“sorry.” he mutters quietly. “you’re not crazy.” 

you laugh, shoving him hard enough to make him fall against the mattress. he bounces right back with an embarrassed smile, dimples showing. 

“come on,” you say, “he’s my dad. don’t you want to meet him too?” “i do.” he says quickly, suddenly realising how this might affect you. “it’s just that i…”

“you’re scared, i know.” his body relaxes with your touch, hand wrapping around his. “but why? what exactly are you afraid of?”

“baby, i put his daughter in harm’s way, almost got you killed, how could he ever look at me and think i’m worthy of being with you after all that?” he asks quietly, and it hurts you to know he’s still punishing himself for the past. 

“except that’s not all you did…you also took a bullet for me that night.” you remind him, and he leans into your touch. “and he knows why you did what you did.” 

jungkook’s eyes widen slightly, “wait you told him everything?”

“i had to, jungkook.” you tilt your head, “he saw me out cold for two days in the hospital, then woke up hysterical thinking my boyfriend was dead.”

it doesn’t make him feel any better, and he buries his head in his hands, groaning. “oh my god. yeah he hates me.”

you giggle when he topples over, staring up at the ceiling in despair. “well if he does, this is your chance to change his mind.”

he lifts his head, prompting a double chin. “so you agree, he hates me?”

“he probably thinks you hate him.” 

jungkook sits up at that, grabbing the nearest pillow for support. “don’t-”

“i mean you’ve avoided every possible interaction with him,” you shrug, “maybe he thinks you think you’re too good for him. he’s probably really sad. all he wants is to meet the love of his daughter’s life, excited to show off his wine collection, and the pretty flowers he has in the garden and yet, he’s never gotten the chance to.” 

jungkook stares at you. “you’re mean.”

“i’m not the one who won’t give my dad a chance.” you raise both palms in the air and he breaks into a chuckle, diving towards you till your back is against the mattress and him on top of you. 

he showers you with kisses despite your squirming, ending with a final, tiny kiss on your nose.

you lie back, staring at him. “he’s gonna love you. just like i do.”

jungkook sucks in a breath, with his mind already made up. looking into your sparkling eyes, wondering if they’re the same as your dad’s, thinking maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. 

“alright.” he says softly, a smile on his face. “we’ll go back for christmas.”

you can’t contain the glee that escapes you, an excited and childlike giggle which spreads through even jungkook. he plants a gentle kiss on your lips.

–

a mixture of horror and jitters spread through jungkook’s being. he’s already practiced what he’d say, and learnt by heart the schedule your family operates by every christmas. he wanted this to be the perfect meeting, make a good first impression, and most of all he wanted you to be happy. 

in all the time he’d spent avoiding a meeting with your dad, you’d been patient enough to tell him to take his time, but now that this is set and he sees how thrilled you are, he realises how much you’ve been wanting this. a part of him feels guilty for delaying this for so long, but now, his heart melts each time you talk about it with a smile from ear to ear. 

the journey there is long, but nice. you decided to take the train back since there was no rush. you also wanted to show jungkook the usual route you take when you head home. 

what was meant to be a couple of days, ended up being a week at your childhood home, which did slightly elevate jungkook’s stress level. a whole week with your dad, and cousins, but it’s something he figures he’ll worry about when he gets there. 

“do you think he’ll like the gift?” jungkook tears his eyes away from the window and to you sitting next to him. you look up from your book and smile. 

“you bought him like ten different things,” you chuckle. “i’m sure he’ll like something.”

he pouts, “only three…” 

to cover all bases, he ended up buying your dad a wine preserver system, some vinyls of his favourite band, and a craft knife, after finding out what his hobbies are. 

you put your book down and interlace your fingers. “i think he’s going to appreciate the fact that you put in so much thought into the gifts.” 

jungkook calms down a little, and you let him go on about the latest tattoo designs he’d come up with for the next hour of the train ride just to distract him. it goes by quickly, and you arrive in your city in no time. 

with all the luggage, and the cats, jungkook suggested getting a rental car, successfully persuading you to drive instead since you know your way around. 

“i like being a passenger princess.” jungkook grins, munching on snacks he’d bought back at the station, showcasing his bunny teeth.

“don’t get too comfortable now.” you remind him, navigating through the familiar roads, finally leaving the busy station and driving at a comfortable speed with no one honking at you from behind for taking more than half a second to react. “i’m a little-”

the car jerks forward as it comes to an abrupt stop when you step on the wrong pedal. “rusty.” you breathe out. “sorry.” 

“okay.” jungkook heaves, shifting back properly into his seat. “i think i’m a little more worried about making it there now than meeting your dad.” 

you laugh as you get the car moving again, slowly easing down the roads. as you reach the vicinity of your town, you take your time to show jungkook around the different places, giving him bits and pieces of your childhood. he takes it all in with a smile on his face, though his growing silence tells you he’s still nervous. 

“there it is,” you say, nodding to your house up front, “the one with the purple flowers by the gate.”

jungkook straightens up without saying a word. his jaw tenses and his fingers fiddle in his lap while his eyes are glued to the house as you drive around it to enter the driveway. the engine dies down into a soft buzz and jungkook’s eyes dart over to you when he feels your hand on his shoulder. 

“it’ll be fine.” you reassure him, pulling him into a hug. he sighs into your shoulder, warm breath tickling your neck. “everyone’s going to love you.”

“promise?” he asks teasingly as he pulls away. 

you hold out your last finger. “pinky promise.”

he hooks his pinky around yours and leans in for a kiss. you stare at each other for a minute. and in that time you start to feel a little nervous yourself, thinking about jungkook and your dad finally meeting. 

“don’t tell me you’re getting the jitters too.” he says, noticing the change in your body language. 

“i guess it’s contagious.” you close your eyes and sigh, shaking the nerves away. then you cup one side of jungkook’s face. “let’s do this. ready?”

jungkook nods. you exchange a sweet kiss before exiting the car. 

the air is crisp and cool. snow has been meticulously shovelled off the driveway, and a neat track laid out towards the front door. jungkook smiles at the details he assumes your dad has done to make it easier for his daughter’s return. 

he rounds to the back of the car and unloads your luggages, one of yours, one of his, and one filled with the presents and treats from the city. and your two cats from the back seat. as you walk up to the front door with your stuff, your heart almost leaps out of your chest. you look back to see jungkook, setting the luggages right by his front, waiting for you to open the door, raising his brows.

he goes right up to where you stand, and you fix the scarf around his neck, brushing off cat fur from the black sweater he has on. as the two of you stand at the front door, both reeling with nerves, you reach for each other and melt into a hug. 

pulling away, jungkook gives you a warm, encouraging smile. 

you fit your key through the lock and push the door open, immediately getting hit with the smell of fresh cookies your grandmother makes every holiday. 

“i’m home!” you call out, and a head peaks out from the living kitchen. 

“y/n!” 

your cousin calls out, pulling off the oven gloves while she runs up to you. while you greet her, jungkook takes the chance to drag the baggage inside, then stands there awkwardly as you chat with your cousin. she looks about the same age, with the same smile. it’s about ten seconds later when she realises jungkook’s waiting presence and her eyes light up. “oh hello!”

“hi,” jungkook clears his throat, and extends a hand. “i’m jungkook.” 

“nice to finally meet you jungkook,” she takes his hand, “i’m seoyun.”

“nice to meet you too.” he gives her a polite smile.

“seoyun, is that my granddaughter you’re talking to?” a voice comes from the living room on the right, and your cousin rolls her eyes while shaking her head. 

“yes grandma, your favourite granddaughter is home.” she smiles at the two of you, grabs on to your wrists, and drags you both towards the living room.

jungkook’s eyes go everywhere, to every corner of the house, the fairy lights around the room, christmas decorations around the fireplace, and the large christmas tree in the corner. the sight strangely brings back a pang of nostalgia, and jungkook’s suddenly transported back to his childhood, standing in his own living room, in front of the tree his own father brought home, while his mother and siblings put up the decorations.

lost in his own thoughts, he snaps out of it when you hook your arm around his, giving it a slight tug. he quickly puts on a smile. “this is jungkook, who i told you about.”

“oh my goodness!” your grandmother gets up from her armchair, leaving the knitting she was working on. if he didn’t know, he’d have never guessed she was your grandmother. skin as smooth as ever, and still steady on her feet, though her roughness of her voice gives her age away. 

she places her hands on jungkook’s face. “you’re as handsome as they come!” 

“okay, back off grandma.” you comment, and jungkook laughs. 

“it’s nice to meet you, i hear lots of great things about you.” he says. 

“well i’d hope so,” she turns to raise a brow at you, then turns back to jungkook. “welcome to our home jungkook. i’m glad you could make it this year.” 

jungkook nods, and she gently pats the side of his face before turning to seoyun. “how are the cookies coming along darling?” 

“perfect! finished the first batch, last tray’s in the oven as we speak.” she stands proud. 

“wonderful,” your grandmother taps her nose tenderly, “could you get a plate out, i’ll work on some tea for our guests.” 

they strut off into the kitchen, and as they disappear getting to work, you turn to jungkook, raising your brows in question. he breathes out, nodding his head. “that was less scary than i thought it would be.” 

“i told you.” you let him hold your hands in his, and you realise how freezing cold they are. “looks like my dad and aunt aren’t home yet. so you have some time to get used to things.” 

jungkook nods, looking around the place once again. 

–

after tasting a fresh plate of your grandmother’s cookies and talking about your trip here, you decide to show jungkook around the house. the cats were let out of their carriers, taking a couple of minutes to sniff around before recognising the place, and finding their favourite spots around the house. 

the pictures on the walls, the 90s home decor, the smell of a lived in house. jungkook is obsessed. it almost felt like he was walking round a museum, studying each corner and every trinket. 

on the second floor, you drag him towards your old bedroom. “this was me.” you grin adorably, standing at the doorway. 

“wow.” jungkook says, eyes round and sparkly. “not sure what i was expecting but this is very you.” 

yellow walls, a single bed in the corner, ending right by the window, a desk by the foot of the bed and an open wardrobe. most of the place looks untouched, except for the bed, which seemed like it had a change of sheets in anticipation of your return. 

photographs are plastered over the walls by your desk, of you when you were little up till your teen years. letters written by friends, evidence of a fangirl phase with pictures of your favourite stars fill the rest of the space. on the table, a couple of old text books are neatly arranged by the wall. jungkook could imagine little you hunched over the desk, working on homework, exactly how you used to at your old apartment during college. 

he takes his time to look at the pictures of little you, pointing to one where you were clearly upset, face scowling, frowning at the camera, arms crossed in front of you. you couldn’t have been older than ten. “this one’s my favourite.” he claims. 

“of course it is.” you roll your eyes, walking over to your dress table, where you’d stuck a picture of you and jungkook on your mirror. 

“i’m there too?” he asks excitedly, looking at it. 

“all my favourite people are here.” you say, blinking away when he looks at you, suddenly feeling a little embarrassed. standing in your old room, filled with memories of your past, with jungkook feels so intimate. like sharing parts of you that no one else would have access to. 

before he can say anything else, you hear the swing of the front door, and a couple of voices follow. you look at jungkook, eyes wide. his mirror yours minus the excitement. 

jungkook stays rooted to his spot, listening to your hurried steps and the squealing of voices that follow as you run towards your aunt. his steps feel heavy as he follows your trail, hovering over the second floor to see you both hugging. but it isn’t until a man who stands two feet taller than you appears at the door frame, face softening at the sight of you, that jungkook’s heart drops to his stomach.

“oh my baby.” he coos, enveloping you in his arms, lifting you off the ground. you fit right in there, nestled against him with a wide smile on your face. “i’m so glad you made it.”

“of course!” you say, pulling away to take a good look at him. you’d miss a couple of visits back since japan happened. “how’ve you been? i’ve missed you.”

“oh i miss you more honey. but i’m better now that my favourite girl is here.” he laughs, planting a kiss on the top of your head. 

neither of you notice jungkook’s slow descent down the steps, awkwardly standing there waiting for an opening. it’s not until your dad’s attention lands on him, making jungkook’s heart leap, that you extend your hand to jungkook who comes to your side.

“hello.” jungkook bows. “i’m jungkook. nice to meet you.”

your dad's smile widens and he exhales as if he were relieved. jungkook had extended his hand for a shake, but your dad accepts it only to pull him into a hug. for a moment, jungkook freezes. only ever receiving hugs from you or jimin, this felt new. he feels small within your dad’s big frame. he feels warm, and comfortable. 

jungkook eventually heaves out a loaded breath. your dad places his hands on jungkook’s arms, giving him a once over. “welcome home, jungkook.”

–

dinner was nothing short of amazing with jungkook helping himself to multiple servings, much to your grandmother’s pleasure. it took him a while to get used to sitting at the table with everyone, quiet at first, until your aunt prompts questions about his job, to which he was more than excited to share about.

not knowing which parts of his life they were aware about, jungkook was careful with what he shared. he’d squeeze your hand under the table ever so often when he felt a little unsure of things or even if he just wanted to. with your help, things went smoothly and by the end, he was a little more comfortable with everyone.

after dinner, your aunt and cousin take their leave for the night. living just five minutes away, they’d be back again in the morning. the house is quieter without them, just the four of you now. 

jungkook helps you get your bags upstairs, rolling your luggage up to your room. grandma walks past just then, giving him a pinch on the cheek and a kiss on yours before heading right to her own space. 

“you can have the guest room,” your dad appears down the hall and looks between the two of you, “unless-”

“the guest room is perfect, thanks.” jungkook interrupts.

“alright.” your dad chuckles, winking your way, “come, i’ll show you to the room.”

the layout of your house forms a u-shape with the stairs in the middle, so the guest room, his room is conveniently right across from yours. “there you go.” 

“thank you.” he stands politely as he looks at your dad. “for letting me stay here.”

“of course,” he pats jungkook’s shoulder, “you’re family.”

jungkook stands there for a while, even after your dad heads off. he washes up and gets into clean clothes, then sits on the edge of the neat bed. it all feels so foreign yet familiar. 

he sighs, letting himself lie back on the mattress, resting his back properly for the first time the whole day. he reaches for his phone and smiles at the notification from you.

[12:50AM] you: u forgot my goodnight kiss

[1:12AM] jk: in front of your dad?

[1:12AM] you: wimp

[1:13AM] jk: big wimp

[1:13AM] you: miss u :(  [1:13AM] you: come over [1:13AM] you: you should’ve said ure sleeping in my room

[1:14 AM] jk: sorry i dont have a death wish [1:14AM] jk: miss u too btw

[1:14AM] you: my door’s unlocked [1:14AM] you: if you really miss me…..

[1:14AM] jk: stoppp [1:14AM] jk: you’re gonna get me kicked out

[1:16AM] you: :( :( :( 

[1:17AM] jk: you’re tipsy from the wine aren’t you [1:17AM] jk: go to sleep baby, it’s 1am [1:18AM] jk: i’ll give u a kiss tmr

you don’t reply after that, and he figures you’ve dozed off. but no matter how comfortable he got, jungkook just can’t fall asleep. he tosses and turns for a while before giving up. he gently opens the door, a single lamp in the corner giving off a warm orange glow. then he carefully goes down the steps headed for the living room. 

he flips one of the lights on and settles on the couch, pulling his legs into his chest, staring up at the lit up tree. over the time he was away, he’d only seen trees through the windows of different houses. and kim, had always put up a tree for show, but it never really meant anything to him. the last time he had a proper tree, a proper celebration, was when he was a kid.

he shuts his eyes and takes himself back to the past. a place he’d tried to erase from memory. but he still remembers somehow, snuggled up on the couch like he is now, the sound of his siblings running around the house, laughing as they play. his mother by the stove, stirring a pot of his favourite soup while his dad puts up a mistletoe above the doorframe. when times were good. when everyone was happy, before-

“can’t sleep either?” a low voice catches him off guard and he jumps as if he were caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to. the older man raises his palms to calm him. “sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

“sir- sorry i-” jungkook fumbles his words. 

but your father simply smiles back, urging him to sit, “relax, nothing to apologise for.” 

jungkook sits hesitantly, running his palms over his knees, scrambling to find something to talk about. maybe this is where your dad would tell him he’s not good enough for you. he’ll hand you a check, give you an ultimatum, leave my daughter or else-

“it’s a nice tree isn’t it?” 

jungkook turns to it once again. “yeah. it’s beautiful.” 

jungkook doesn’t realise that he’s far away again. “penny for your thoughts?” 

“oh.” jungkook chuckles. “nothing i just…haven’t had a christmas tree in a long time. it brings back memories.”

“good ones i hope.” your father smiles, and he sees your smile. “i’m glad you could join us this year. i was hoping you would.”

“you were?” 

“why are you so surprised?” he chuckles. “you have been dating my daughter for the last eight years haven’t you?”

jungkook flinches, the reality hitting him like a brick. he breathes out, “didn’t realise it’s been that long.”

“time really flies, doesn’t it?” your father says. “she talks about you a lot. can you believe after all that time, this is the first time we’re meeting in person.” 

“right.” jungkook laughs nervously, hand rubbing the back of his neck. “that’s my fault. i’ve uh…”

“been avoiding me?” your father laughs a low laugh at the panic that settles on the younger man’s face. but his reaction eases jungkook, as he slaps a hand on jungkook’s knee. “it’s alright. i know how it is.” 

jungkook chuckles, “sorry. it’s not that i was avoiding you, i just…was worried about how this would go.”

“how do you think it’s going?”

jungkook wonders if this is a trick question. “good?”

your dad gives him a warm smile. “you’re doing great so far, jungkook.”

“thanks.” jungkook bites his bottom lip. 

after a quiet moment, your dad excuses himself for a cup of hot cocoa. as he walks away, jungkook sinks back into his thoughts, this time, thinking about you. his worries about your dad come to the forefront of his mind again, wondering if your dad would say anything even if he felt this was wrong.

despite jungkook declining a drink, your dad comes back with a mug of warm milk for jungkook and a plate of cookies. 

jungkook’s uneasiness doesn’t go unnoticed. and your dad can tell it was more than just nerves. jungkook sits there fiddling his thumbs, blinking incessantly like he’s fighting with himself in his mind. your dad scoots to the edge of his seat and reaches across to place a hand on jungkook’s knee.

“are you okay?” it was a question jungkook didn’t know how to answer. it felt loaded, like there was something more.

“i have- i wanted to…” jungkook swallows the lump in his throat, and takes a deep breath. “are you really okay with y/n being with me?”

your father watches him for a couple of beats, the longest stretch of seconds in jungkook’s life as he waits for a reaction. with a smile, your father takes a sip of his drink. “that’s what you were worried about?” 

jungkook nods.

your father leans forward, elbows on his knees, palms together. “listen i know, a lot has happened. some things, i can’t even comprehend. and i would be lying if i said i was never worried about her. and the things that you were involved in.” 

“but i knew the girl i raised, so i trusted her.” he pauses. “then the incident happened. i’ll never forget getting that call, i thought i’d lost her.”

jungkook winces, feeling a bitter taste in his mouth. “i’m sorry. that was- that was my fault.” 

your father exhales, looking down at his hands. “she did tell me you still blame yourself.” 

“she ended up getting hurt because of me. i didn’t protect her enough.” jungkook says, eyes glossing up. “i tried to keep her out of it all, i knew the risks. but then things got out of hand and i was trying to- it all just- happened and i-”

“you took a bullet for her.” your dad says, “it’s not your fault things turned out the way it did. i know why you did what you did, she told me everything.”

jungkook hangs his head low. despite the gentleness of your father, his embarrassment is greater. “i never did get to apologise to you for that…”

“i don’t blame you for any of it.” he says. “i know you protected her as well as you could. you did the right thing.”

jungkook stays quiet. 

“did you think i would not approve of your relationship?” jungkook looks up sheepishly and your father hums in understanding. “you know it would take a lot more than me saying no for y/n to stop loving you right?”

jungkook looks up at him, nodding slowly.

“it’s been years. the perpetrators are gone. you’re safe, she’s safe. i don’t have any reason to keep her from being with you. and, she loves you a lot. why would i ever want to take away the person she loves most?”

jungkook smiles at that. “i love her too.” 

“i know.” he nods. “you’ve taken good care of her in the last year. i’ve seen her lose her spark and have it return the moment you reappeared in her life. i only want her to be happy, and you make her happy. i hope you’ll continue to do that.” 

“i can’t imagine a life without y/n in it.” jungkook says. “she’s everything to me, and she’s all that i have. she likes to say that i saved her life…but really, she’s saved mine.” 

your father smiles warmly, and jungkook heaves out a relieved sigh. the conversation moves to a lighter subject, and neither of them notice when you walk down the steps, walking in on them laughing mid-conversation.

jungkook’s eyes light up at the sight of you. 

“what’s this? no one thought to invite me?”

your dad laughs, “just warning him about that attitude of yours.”

“excuse me?” you turn, standing in front of them with your hands on your hips. “i don’t have an attitude.” 

“oh yeah, no attitude.” jungkook hums. “just as stubborn as they come.”

you raise your brow at him. 

“but also the prettiest, kindest, loveliest as they come.” 

your dad laughs, and you nod affirmingly, bending at your knees in a curtsey. he watches as you squeeze right next to jungkook, hugging his arm against you. jungkook allows it, kissing your cheek. 

“i’m gonna call it a night.” your dad says, excusing himself. “don’t stay up too late you two, we have a whole day ahead tomorrow. goodnight.”

“goodnight.” you two call out, watching him slip into the kitchen then up the stairs a minute later before his door closes upstairs. 

you immediately climb onto jungkook, straddling him on the couch. “what were you two talking about?”

“i was right.” jungkook says solemnly, shaking his head. “he hates me. we’re gonna have to break up- ow!” 

“seriously, what did he say?” you hiss, keeping your voice low. 

jungkook snickers, holding on to your thighs as you sit on him. “he’s alright with us.” 

you grin, chewing on your bottom lip. “i told you!”

“he also said you talk about me a lot,” you roll your eyes, leaning against him, “that you’re madly in love with me.” 

“well, he’s not wrong about that.” you comment and he wraps his arms around you. “no one can tear us apart. not even santa.” 

–

a pre-christmas clean was something jungkook had anticipated on your family’s schedule. two days before christmas, and the whole house was busy. grandma worked the kitchen, your cousins worked the living area, you were assigned the rooms and jungkook got to shovel the snow.

it didn’t take very long, mostly because the house is always kept tidy. after a quick vacuuming upstairs, some dusting and a little wipe down, you were done. you head outside to find jungkook peacefully shovelling the show from the sidewalk, humming as he goes. snow crunches under your boots as you walk up to him. 

“can’t believe you got the easiest task.” you comment, huffing, and a cloud of vapour forms. 

jungkook shrugs, smiling handsomely, not even able to deny it. your dad had already done a perfect job of tidying up the snow, and all jungkook had to do was remove the bulk that had built up over the last couple of days. 

“this is favouritism.” you cross your arms. 

“can’t help it if grandma loves me more than you.” he plants the head of the shovel in the snow and rests his arms on it. 

“whatever,” you stick your tongue out, then eye your surroundings. “do you need any help?”

“i’m almost done actually.” he says and you nod.

jungkook shifts the last bit of snow into a pile at the base of the tree in front of your house, then holds the shovel by its handle as he slips his fingers into yours. you make your way to the back, heading for the shed. 

“are you excited about christmas?” you ask, wiggling closer to him for warmth. 

“yeah. presents in the morning, you said?” 

jungkook opens the door to the shed and you follow behind, stepping into the little area your dad built for his gardening tools and other stuff. he even has a little desk for himself to work on crafts. you smile at the wood carvings he’s made and placed on a shelf above the desk. 

“mhm, a nice, slow morning together as a family.” you say, “the party will be at night.”

jungkook has his back turned to you while he places the shovel back in its place. when he faces you, you study his face, tilting your head and he raises a brow in question. “is it all too much for you?”

jungkook smiles at your concern. “i’m fine.” 

“we can always skip the party if you think you need a break.” you suggest and he leans in to kiss you, pulling you in by the waist. 

“i’ll be okay, i think.” he says, “all that hosting during college is gonna come in handy.”

you laugh, cringing at the parties they used to have. it already feels like a lifetime ago. “you were barely there.”

“that’s cause i was always with you.” he says as a matter-of-factly, planting a kiss on the tip of your nose. 

“true.” you smile, wrapping your arms around him. “there’ll be a bunch of old ladies instead of college girls, so i guess i have nothing to worry about?”

“i don’t know…” jungkook presses his lips together. “i’m quite the killer among older ladies.”

– 

jungkook wakes up bright and early christmas morning. your aunt and cousin stayed over, prompting him to give up the guest room despite them saying they’d sleep in the same room as grandma. but jungkook was insistent, choosing to sleep on the couch instead. although, when the house went quiet, he snuck back upstairs to sleep with you. 

“we don’t need to sneak around, everyone knows we live together.” you whisper, making room under the blanket.

he fake gasps. “i don’t want them to think we’re having s e x.”

you stare at him in the dark. “we’re literally old enough to do whatever we want.”

“stop talking about sex.”

“you started it!” you hiss, and he chuckles, running his palm over your face, forcing your eyes close. 

the house is quiet and still, the air smells of peppermint and cookies. jungkook washes up, puts on his favourite sweater, and heads back to your room. you’re almost done yourself, smiling at him through the mirror. 

“merry christmas.” he says, coming up behind you. 

“merry christmas, my love.” you turn in his arms, reaching up for a kiss. 

jungkook quite likes how your family spends christmas morning. the joy of christmas lingers in the air, but it’s slow and calm. perhaps it’s because everyone’s an adult, that there’s no rush to open presents, nor does it feel like a competition to see who’s got the better gift. despite that, jungkook starts sweating the moment he spots the gift he got your dad under the tree, while he digs into his breakfast.

a nice holiday movie plays on the television while you and seoyun sit by the tree, passing the gifts around. grandma starts handing everyone something she had personally knitted, gifting jungkook and you matching scarves and socks. though she doesn’t care much for gifts anymore, you both got her a vintage tea set which she gushed over.

everyone opens their presents at the same time, which made jungkook feel a little less burdened. he thinks he’s doing well as everyone opens gift after gift, getting into the rhythm of things, until he sees the package in your dad’s hand. 

“ooh this is a big one,” your dad says to no one in particular. jungkook keeps his eyes on him as the wrapping paper is removed and your dad scans the box. he wastes no time and starts unboxing. “wow.” 

“what’s that?” your aunt’s interest is piqued at the sight of the machine. 

“i’ve only seen this online. this is amazing.” your dad starts gushing, paying special attention to the details of the system, fully engrossed.

“what is it though?” seoyun asks, raised brow. 

jungkook clears his throat. “it um- basically lets you pour out wine without unscrewing the cork, and when you don’t remove the cork-”

“it preserves the wine.” your dad continues, eyes full of awe. 

finally tearing his eyes away from the gift, he looks at the young man, “thank you, jungkook. this is…wow.” 

jungkook’s heart swells, he could almost jump up and down himself. carefully placing his gift back in its box, he goes over to where your boyfriend is. jungkook jumps up from where he sat on the floor next to you, accepting a hug from your dad. “i figured you’d like it. y/n told me you have a wine collection.”

“i love it.” he shakes his head. “you’ll get the first sip of my finest wine tonight!” 

jungkook chuckles, a tingling feeling bubbling inside of him. seoyun pokes her nosy head into the bag the box came in and realised your dad had missed something else in there. “there’s more!” she digs inside, and pulls out two, square sealed lp jackets. 

“oh,” jungkook eagerly makes a grab for them, handing it to your dad. “these are yours too.”

the older man takes one look at the cover, recognising his favourite band, and gives jungkook a look. “this is all too much.”

“i couldnt really decide what to get you,” he admits, glancing down at you, “so i decided to give you both.”

he thanks you with his eyes, for suggesting he choose only two gifts for your dad out of the three he brought. you wink, feeling emotional as you watch the hopeful look on jungkook’s face, knowing how this had proved to be so pressurising for him. you watch as they bond over the gift, jungkook seemingly already forgetting how nervous he was before. 

a little while later he joins you, and your dad disappears to put his new wine system in a safe spot. jungkook watches your family, albeit a small one, exchanging laughter and smiles. almost as if you were in a movie. the warmth that spreads through him feels new. you mindlessly hook your arm around him, leaning against his side as you yap away with seoyun. 

“what did you get for jungkook?” seoyun asks, smiling at him. 

she had raved about the jewellery set he got you, starting with a simple diamond necklace, its matching earrings to match the limited edition bracelet he gifted you for your birthday earlier in the year. 

you almost refused to accept it, not even wanting to know how much he had spent on them, but he was adamant on getting you to wear it right then. “please? i don’t always get you nice jewellery.” he says, ignoring you when you brought up the bracelet. 

“i got him this famous wireless tattoo gun machine thing,” you say, and jungkook pulls it out from under the scarf grandma gave him. “he’s been geeking about it for the whole year.”

“that’s why you stopped me from getting it the last time.” jungkook recalls, having already adding it to cart, but you caused a big fuss, telling him he has enough tools already, and that it would be a waste of money. “thank you baby.” he leans in to press a kiss on your cheek. 

coming back into the room, your dad catches your eye, giving you a knowing smile. in his hand, he carries a small, neatly wrapped box. “jungkook.” he calls out, walking towards him. 

jungkook gets to his feet and your dad grabs his hand, gently placing the box in his palm. “merry christmas.”

jungkook’s eyes go round and he tries not to show it, but from the way his hands are trembling, you can tell he’s excited. the room falls silent as he unwraps it, your dad, grandma, aunt, seoyun and you, focused on the gift. he does it delicately, like its too previous to even open.

when he does, he finds a velvet black box, a little bigger than his hand. his heart almost leaps out of his chest as he opens it. inside, the sight of his gift takes his breath away. jungkook recognises the matte black ceramic body of the watch, with its black dial and gold hour and minute markers. as if it isn’t beautiful enough, he spots an engraving on its side, with his name on it: jeon jungkook. 

jungkook is speechless. it’s one of the most exquisite watches he’d ever seen. his lips part and close again, lost for words. 

a card peeks out from the side. 

“to jungkook: 

it’s been a joy having you here this christmas. i can see why y/n loves you so, it’s hard not to!  watching you and y/n together, and seeing just how well you fit right in with us, has truly been one of my favourite parts of this holiday. here’s to making more memories together. 

welcome to the family.

love, dad.”

while the watch gets its five minutes of fame with the ladies, jungkook’s glossy eyes turn to your dad, immediately letting himself be held. a single tear falls down the corner of his eye, which he’s quick to wipe away. there’s so much he wants to say, but he holds it in. 

around them, everyone starts moving. your aunt initiated a family photo, prompting seoyun to get the tripod, and everyone else trying to find their position. 

jungkook pulls away from your dad, straightening himself out. without saying a word, your dad nods, giving him a squeeze on the arm. 

your dad and grandma keep to the left, while you next to your dad, and jungkook on your other side. his sniffing gets your attention, and you notice the shine in his eyes, to which he shakes his head smiling. you graze your finger against his cheek, planting a quick kiss. 

“ready!” seoyun clicks the button and runs to her spot in the front with her mother. the six of you huddle closer in front of the christmas tree, smiling brightly.

snap.

–

by the evening, the house was filled with guests, neighbours, some cousins and even old friends you haven’t seen in a long time. you had planned to stick with jungkook, just in case it all got too much for him, besides, he wouldn’t know anyone here. 

but your dad had other plans, keeping jungkook by his side as he served some special wine to the guests. they took turns handling the wine system, it was adorable. of course, they drew a crowd around the table and everyone was enamoured with jungkook, especially the older ladies. 

when the wine stopped, jungkook floated around, mingling with the guests. he puts on his best smile, getting stopped pretty often in his search for you among the crowd, eventually getting sucked into a conversation he planned on avoiding. some of your cousins were particularly interested, only having ever heard of your mysterious partner, who is real after all. 

an hour passes, and the mingling finally brings him to you, jungkook sighs in relief at the sight of your face. “you. you were supposed to hold my hand throughout.”

“you looked like you were having a good time!” you reason, interlacing your fingers with his. “do you know how many people have come up to me just to ask about you?”

“sorry, it comes with being so handsome.” he cheeses and you punch him in the gut. 

“oof.” jungkook rubs his middle. “keep that up and some sugar mommy will come and swoop me off my feet.” 

with a roll of your eyes, you let him lift your chin with his finger, landing a soft kiss on your glossy lips. his hands wrap around your waist, and eyes your surroundings with a fake smile on his face. “how much longer will this go on for?” he asks through his fake smile. 

“a little more.” you whisper. “one of my uncles will probably start bursting into a song, and everyone will join in…we’ll dance…and then the toasts.” 

jungkook sighs. but not in a negative way. he looks down at you, and the new diamond necklace hanging around your neck. “as long as i’m with you, i’m enjoying myself.” 

your cheeks heat up, hoping no one around you heard that. “i’m happy you’re here with me. it feels…complete.”

jungkook resists the urge to crash his lips into yours. one of your aunts tap you on your shoulder and he lets you catch up, though your hand never lets go, keeping him right next to you. jungkook barely hears what you’re saying, only focused on how beautiful you look tonight. 

he looks around at everyone, taking in the atmosphere. the holidays have never felt so bright, so warm, so full of love. it finally feels like christmas. 

–

the guests are gone and the house is clean and tidy again. the lights are down, and it’s quiet. grandma was the first to tap out, heading up to bed first while the rest of you chat over supper. 

one by one, everyone heads off to wash up after the tiring evening. you’re already in bed when jungkook comes out of the shower, drying his hair with the towel. he watches the way you try to fight your sleep, but fails as your breaths start to even out. the space you leave for him remains empty. he switches off the lights, and quietly shuts the door, heading back down. 

stepping into the kitchen, jungkook grabs a mug, before looking out the window to see your dad sitting out on the veranda out back, smoking a cigar. he gets a quick drink, and places the washed mug back in its place. 

when the door to the veranda opens, your dad turns in surprise, breaking into a smile at the sight of jungkook. he gestures to the cigar. “want one?”

“oh no thanks.” jungkook waves him off. he finds a spot next to the pillar by the steps, crossing his arms from the cold. “thought you might like some company.”

“i’d love that.” your dad smiles.

“do you always spend time out here?” 

“oh yeah,” he nods, “i like the quiet. the calm. after a long day it’s just nice to sort of…exist, don’t you think?”

it’s something jungkook could imagine you saying. “yeah, i get it. i like the night too.”

“i can tell. you’re always up.” your dad chuckles. 

jungkook looks out into the dark, street lights in the distance giving a warm glow. he glances at your dad, sitting there peacefully. “thank you for the watch. and for welcoming me into your family.”

“don’t mention it.” he puts the cigar down. “i hope this hasn’t been too much for you. it is your first christmas since being back, right?”

the idea about discussing that part of his life with your dad still feels odd to him. jungkook clears his throat, “yeah.” 

he hesitates a while longer. 

“but even before that…it’s not like i celebrated the holidays in any way. i was just wasting my life away. no family. no christmas. i only ever felt that little bit of christmas spirit whenever y/n would come back to the city and bring me grandma’s cookies.”

your father nods, and the quiet takes over for a couple of minutes. jungkook hopes he hasn’t just crossed a line. “she told me what happened…with your family.”

jungkook falters, readjusting himself against the pillar and looks away, swallowing. 

“i’m sorry you had to go through that.” he says solemnly. “it’s definitely not easy to lose a sibling that way, especially at that age. and your parents, well..”

“i’m over it.” jungkook says a little too quickly.

your dad decides not to push it. “you’ve gone through a lot jungkook,” he starts, “got lost somewhere along the way…but i’m glad you’ve managed to find your way back.” 

jungkook smiles. “i couldn’t have done it without y/n. she believed in me when no one else did, supported me through everything.”

“she’s a special one indeed.” your dad says, nodding. 

“she’s everything to me. she’s all i got.” 

your dad gets up from his seat, slipping his hands in his pockets. “not anymore. you’re part of our family now, jungkook. you have us.”

family. jungkook bites his bottom lip when it starts to quiver. there’s something about your dad that makes him feel safe enough to show his vulnerability, though he’s still learning to let it all out. your dad steps closer, placing a gentle hand over his head, the gesture triggering a well of tears. “you dont have to fend for yourself anymore. you’re not alone anymore. you have us, lean on us. y/n, me, and grandma packs a mean punch too.”

jungkook chuckles, wiping the tears away as they stream down his cheeks. your dad pulls him in, letting his head rest against his shoulder. jungkook heaves out a heavy sigh as your dad rubs his back tenderly. “as far as i’m concerned, you’re my son now. and i love you.” 

jungkook lets his tears fall, quietly choking up. your dad’s strong embrace melts his cool exterior, opening him up to a feeling he’s never felt before.

he feels…safe. 

–

your luggage lingers by the door to your room, all packed and ready to go. the cats are in their carriers, napping before the journey. jungkook and you sit on the roof outside your bedroom window, something you used to do in the spring when the weather isn’t threatening hypothermia. 

but jungkook persuaded you, dragging along a couple of blankets and some heat packs. you sit between his legs, letting him keep you warm while he packs on the layers of blankets over yourselves. 

though you must admit, since the sun has decided to come out today, that it doesn’t feel as bad as you thought it would. 

“thanks for a great christmas.” jungkook says.

“thanks for coming home with me.” you look up at him, head against his chest. “i’ve always imagined what it would be like when we spend christmas together. i’m so glad it’s finally happened. and you’ve finally met my family.” 

“sorry it took me so long.” jungkook sighs, kissing your cheek. “you have a beautiful family. i think this is my favourite christmas ever.”

“you’re cute.” you giggle, pinching his cheek. “i hope we can spend more holidays together from now on.” 

jungkook hums, seemingly lost in thought. he seems to do that a lot these days, you think. 

“i was thinking…” jungkook starts, feeling his own heart skip. “maybe we should stay for the new year?”

you jolt upright, turning your body to face jungkook, surprise etched all over your face. “what?”

“we’ve been here for five days,” jungkook shrugs, “what’s a couple more?”

squealing, you wrap your arms around him, and he falls back on the hard tile. peppering kisses all over him, you let out the most adorable laugh he’s ever heard. “are you for real? we’re staying?” 

jungkook laughs, nodding as he pushes himself back up. “i love your family, and i’d love it if we got to start the new year with them.”

you chuckle, tears welling up in your eyes and jungkook wipes them away with his sleeve. “i love you so much.”

“i love you too, baby.” 

snow starts to fall as your lips meet in the middle, moving gently against the other. for the first time in his life, jungkook understands what it meant to have a happy holiday. for the first time in his life, he’ll start the new year with a family. 

"I've been trained to fix anything! I was best in my class! Jeeps for the brass are not a priority. I should be with the troops and I should be serving my country in the best way that I can. Isn't that why I'm here?"

All the wind had blown out of Zelda's sails by the end of her argument. She was getting nowhere with the King. He wasn't going to lift his order to keep her safe and he certainly wasn't going to send her to the frontlines himself. She'd trained to fix the heavy infantry tanks that were stationed all over the eastern front. She was the best. No one was faster or understood more intuitively what needed to be done. But, instead, she was fixing jeeps that the Generals treated like pleasure vehicles. They'd come in with no gas and tell her it was broken or they'd need their goddamn wipers replaced. It was insulting.

"Nevermind, father. I'm going to get back to work."

She hung up and went back to her command. Which was a small motor pool with a squad of mechanics. Technically she was due a larger command, but no mechanic this far from the fighting should have her rank. The boys didn't really need her there at all, truth be told. General Impa was a micromanager and their shop ran like a civilian auto repair anyway.

Link

Link huddled into his small corner of home in the trench. He'd cleaned it up nice so there was a small divot dug into the wall so rain wouldn't ruin his small collection of keepsakes. Right now he had a little journal to write in, some playing cards, and a letter from some school kid who informed him "Mr. Owlen says I have to tell you that you're brave" which was charming enough to keep. He'd smoothed the ground beneath his feet so that he had comfortable dirt to sleep on and his trusty rifle settled over his shoulder digging into yet another dug-in divot in the wall. All-in-all he'd dressed it up to be the nicest spot in the line.

His squad had been stationed here for two weeks so far with very little else to do. At some point they would probably jump up and storm the enemy, but he tried not to think about that. He was too young to die. He tried to keep some dirt on his face at any moment. He wasn't technically old enough to enlist and anything that kept people from really looking at his face was a plus. It was easier before. He was the loader on a medium tank with only four other men for company. But then the gunner got his points and was sent home leaving the rest of them a man down. He'd gotten orders an hour ago to report to the depot to be assigned to a new crew in the morning. Until then, he'd be hunkered down here in this cesspit trying to get some shuteye and stock up on "supplies" that weren't part of the standard kit. Dirty pictures, booze, and hopefully some real food.

Zelda

"Lieutenant! Call for you, ma'am!"

"Thank you, Private."

Zelda took up the office phone and snapped out a greeting. She was losing another man. Pretty soon she was going to be running this place alone. Apparently heavy fire was anticipated and they needed another mechanic on hand familiar with the newest combat vehicles. She took up her roster to see who had the best qualifications for the job. If they were calling up someone from here it would be a rough job. She ran her finger down the list and stopped at a name. Could she do that? There was an obvious implicit order, but it wasn't actually said. She had free reign to send whoever she chose. Who could stop her decision? They were leaving soon.

She scribbled out the order, updated the roster list, filled out the daily report, and marked the next in command. She would leave immediately. Her duffle was already supplied for departure and she grabbed a go-kit with essential tools. The truck was already nearly loaded up with supplies and her driver was climbing in.

"Ready?" She called to the back when she was settled.

"Ready!" the loaders confirmed.

"Move out!"

The driver pulled out of the compound and they were on their way to the front. He glanced at her, but clearly eyed her epaulettes before deciding to keep his mouth shut.

Link

Link settled into his position in the turret. They were buttoned up and already getting ready for a fight.

"Load up, gimme seven five!" The new commander Burlon called from his spot above him in the radio seat. Link slithered down to the floor and started pulling up the armored cover and pulled out the smooth munitions. Burlon was calling out directions to Dalt to position the gun. The ammo was loaded and the gun was ready in seconds.

"Up!"

Burlon called out the fire and Link pulled up the next load. He was fast and being small made it easier for him to get into all the little hideaways where any spare air was filled with ammo. The place stank up quickly with the sweat of five men in tight quarters. It was hot as ever and beads of sweat ran freely down his back. Only his hands were kept dry with any spec of spare cloth to be found. He couldn't afford to drop something. One store empty, Link closed it up and moved to the next in an awkward spot beneath his gunner's butt.

"Move your ass, Dalt. I can't get in."

Not quite a well oiled machine just yet, this new crew.

"Fuck you. I gotta aim."

"Quiet. All of you," The commander was looking through his scope, "HEAT! Take us back!"

Burlon's frantic calls on the radio blurred into the background. Anti-tank guns. Link scrambled to lock away all the mortars. Easiest way to kill a crew was to blow them up with their own gun. The tank rocked roughly in the retreat and Link banged his jaw against the bottom of his seat. He let out a slew of curses and braced against the top cage.

"Back in your seat, soldier!" Burlon ordered.

Still cursing, Link threw himself into his seat and threw a hand up to check his face. It came away bloody.

"Incoming!" As one, the team bent and braced for impact.

Zelda

"Okay team, the enemy is retreating. We need to get out and salvage what we can. Level one and two damaged vehicles will be handled by the first division. Level three damage is us. We'll work from near to far."

Zelda nodded to her partner and began running to her assigned vehicle. A Farore Mk IV about a mile away that's likely still in good enough condition to at least drive. The field was a mess of tracks and mud and empty casings. Burn marks scorched across huge stretches of land where shells exploded. Zelda tried not to see the remains left behind. The wounded and dead were attended already, but sometimes things were left behind. A half burned boot was stuck in the mud and Zelda pretended it's because the soldier decided to take off his shoe. She knew these soldiers were fighting for their homes and their families, but it felt like they were fighting for her as the Princess. She would face the cost when she wasn't working. When she had time to process.

She stopped with her partner, a big Private who could do some of the heavy lifting, when they reached a potential salvage.

"What do you think, ma'am?" He circled and shook his head.

"I don't think so, let's keep going. We can't drive with the track looking like this." It was mangled. "Avoid that next one, it's still smoking."

"It should be alright, let's look real quick. See? The smoke is coming from the front. Probably just overheated." Zelda wavered and the Private took his chance.

"It'll take less than a minute to check and then we can move on."

Zelda sighed and gave a nod. He was older and more experienced for all the rank difference. They crept to the tank and began an exterior inspection. Smoke was lightly billowing from the front so Zelda moved around to the back to ensure that whatever was smoking wasn't coming out another side.

Everything looked fine in the back except another pair of boots under the chasis. This time, the boots still had feet in them.

"Hey! Wounded!"

Zelda pulled on the boots and a soldier slid free with a squelch. She yanked his shirt out of the way and thrust her hand to his throat for a pulse. It was strong and steady. The Private was working the portable radio frantically.

"Lieutenant! Incoming troops! We have to find shelter!"

"What?!"

"I'm going in!"

"What?! NO! It might not be-"

An explosion cut her off. The opened hatch let in a rush of oxygen and ignited the dying fire within the tank body. Zelda threw herself over the unconscious man. She held on for dear life and clamped her eyes shut. Her ears rang and her head blurred, the heavy armored vehicle rocked ominously in her direction. The enemy was coming. She never learned her partner’s name. The man below her would die if she didn't recover quickly enough. What next? She could hear them coming. A dull rumble turning to a roar. Men shouting.

She shoved the wounded man back under the chassis where she had found him and squirmed into the mud beside him. She prayed to all the goddesses that they would take the smoking remains of this tank as reason to pass it by. Prayed that it wouldn't continue to explode above her. Prayed the man next to her didn't die while she laid in a grave next to him. Just in case, she kept her hand on his throat to feel his pulse throb in a steady, comforting rhythm.

Link

His head ached. A terrible ringing grayed out his vision. His body was hot and cold and hot and cold. His throat was full of smoke and death and weight. And damp. A wet, hot, muddy hand was pressed against his throat. He breathed in quickly then was cut off from shouting when the dirty hand shot up to his mouth.

"Shh!" He couldn't see the shusher, "They'll hear you."

It was a woman's voice. Link tried to take stock of the situation, but there wasn't much to go on. He was lying in a drying puddle of mud under what was likely his tank with a woman. If it weren't for the mud it might have been on purpose. And if his head didn't feel like it had been split open by a hatchet.

"What happened?" His words were slurred.

She didn't answer immediately.  "We were overtaken."

Enemy territory. Okay. There was a process for this. Hide. Get somewhere safe. Take stock. Gather supplies. Make your way back. Don't get caught.

"Did you work on this hunk of garbage, Sargent?"

"Yes, ma'am. Loader in the hole."

"Okay. Then here's what we're going to do. The M4A2 at two o'clock looks in alright condition from here. We'll take shelter inside until we can come up with a better plan or until we can get it running and make a break for it."

"That's a Zora tank. I've never-"

"Me, either. Can you walk? You hit your head, I think."

"I think so. It's not far."

He really wasn't sure. The woman, a Lieutenant, seemed to have a plan which is a sight better than he had so he would just have to make it. The mud squelched and slurped noisily with every extracted limb. A cool breeze nearly froze him to the bone after so long in the damp. The Lieutenant steadied him with one hand and kept a grip on a metal box with the other. He thanked the Goddesses when he realized it was a mechanic's toolbox. She carefully picked her way through the supplies they had strapped to the back of the vehicle and grabbed the med kit and a small bag of foodstuffs. Link grabbed his personal pack and slung it over his shoulder with his rifle.

They set out across the field with furtive glances in the direction their camp used to be back when it wasn't completely deserted. The ground was rough and packed hard from the heavy machinery driving over the ground. A faint smell of dead hung suffocating in the air and kept Link light-headed the entire journey. He hung his head to the ground and followed the woman blindly into danger. They stuck together from one safe cover to the next. She stepped carefully around any unknown piece of metal on the ground and avoided bloodstained dirt like it was contagious. She was basically unarmed and unfamiliar with a battlefield and squeamish on top of it all.

"You green?" he asked.

"No" was the clipped reply. He reached out to her anyway and pulled her up short.

"Listen, Lieutenant Bospho-" He squinted at her name patch. "Bosphor--... Lt. Bosso. Listen Bosso, I've been active for a while and I'm the one with a rifle. I'll take point."

She looked very upset. Either she wanted to lead the way because of her greater rank or she disagreed with his butchering of her name. It's not his fault her name didn't fit with standard sized lettering. He let his grip on her sleeve tighten and pulled her behind him before striding forward carefully and tugging gently at her sleeve in a silent command to follow. She didn't think of an objection before they were moving, but Link heard her mouth click shut. It hardly mattered, superior officer or not she was a mechanic and likely didn't carry anything more than a pistol if she had any weapon at all. He was trained and was at least used to the leftovers in a field. His hands were already bloodied.

Their pace picked up with him in the lead. He marched confidently through the mud, avoiding bloodstains for his delicate companion, and arrived at the Lanayru tank shortly. He circled the machine once to look for smoke. The turret hatch was open so there was unlikely to be anything smoldering inside. Lt. Bosso hauled herself up to the top and flashed a torch into the hole. As it happened, she did carry a pistol, and was comfortable enough with it to wield it alongside the torch.

"No one's home. Let's get in and rest for a bit. I wonder if they've got a decent map in here."

Link pulled himself up and slid in after her. She shuffled her way into the driver seat and he slid neatly into the gunner's . This thing had elbow room. Maybe he should have lied about his age and his home province. This would have been nice. It gave him the room to eye the Lieutenant's shapely behind from several excellent angles while she found her seat. He was still considering his luck when she finally put her butt down in a chair.

"So, Sargent Forrester. Let's figure out what's next."

Zelda 

Sargent Forrester was rude and brash but kindly enough. His stumbling over her name was fairly rude and Zelda wasn't sure how he didn't recognize it. His behavior bordered on insubordination, but she was grateful that one of them knew what to do at least. She could plan all she wanted, but none of this was like boot camp and certainly unlike anything she had seen in her year of service. She ignored him as best she could when they got in the Lanayru M4A2 and immersed herself in the parts she could see from the driver's seat. The most obvious problem was a misaligned periscope, but there was likely something more wrong with it or it wouldn't have been abandoned like this.

She opened her baggage to see what they had to work with. Extra rations would have been nice, but instead there were perishable goods that had the faint smell of smoke wafting out of the first bag. Probably three or four meals worth for each of them. A field medical kit with little more than trauma bandages and some morphine. If things got that bad they were dead for sure. Her kit was undamaged but was designed to repair Hylian machines. The small kit from under the co-driver's seat would be more useful. Her own pack had some rations and a similar first aid kit supplemented with alcohol.

"What's in your bag, Forrester?" she asked. Maybe he had something of use.

He settled further into the gunner seat and closed his eyes.

"Standard pack. Rifle. Canteen. First Aid. Shovel. Ammo. Pistol. Rations. Blanket. Cigarettes. Ma'am."

Technically not insubordinate. The lists soothed her frazzled nerves. When in doubt, make a list. When the air smells of death and sweat and burning rubber, make a list. When you've seen bloody spots on the ground where your subjects lay dying, make a list. When you're locked in a tank with a stranger with a gun, make a list.

To be fair to Sgt. Forrester, he seemed trustworthy. He was rude and gruff, but followed her where she wanted to go and was clever enough to inspect the machine before he just climbed in like her dead partner. She just left his body there. She didn't even look to see if there was anything she could salvage for his family. Self-recrimination ate her from mind to heart.

"Are you alright?" Sgt. Forrester had come up to her from behind without her noticing. His eyes were soft and concerned and scanned her head to toe. He seemed to be assessing her physical and mental condition with one efficient glance. He didn't seem satisfied with the results when he was done. His hand hovered over her shoulder for a moment before retracting back to his knee. "Is this your first time out? There's no shame in snapping your cap looking at all this. I wouldn't judge you for crying even, the Goddess knows I've wanted to more than once."

Zelda didn't want to feel better. She wanted to curl up and wallow in self-pity. But he was kind and she couldn't help but be comforted by his words. She gave him a wan smile and gave herself a little shake.

"I'm fine. Thank you," she said a little more prim than she had planned, "This is my first day out, but I've been in the service for almost a year. I didn't expect... Well I thought it would be different. I've never been to the front before."

"Little more than the front, I reckon. We seem to have wandered past the front and into the back again. This hunk of metal gonna get us back? I've never been in a tube so roomy. We could..." he glanced at her and changed what he was going to say, "We could throw a party in here."

"Yes, well. There's definitely a few things that need fixing. We'll be here overnight at least. Might need to look for some replacement parts. I'll know more when I open her up." Zelda replied. She thought for a moment then thrust her hand in his direction. "I'm Zelda. What's your name?" She wasn't going to miss another name.

"Link, ma'am."

They shook. Link's hand was warm.

Link 

Zelda was a surprisingly good mechanic. She pulled apart the busted periscope and spilled metal innards across the ground like the first slice into a pot pie. It didn't seem like a complicated piece of equipment until he saw all the pieces dumped unceremoniously on the floor of the otherwise pristine cabin. She poked at one of the mirrors with a wrench she pulled from her bag until she was satisfied. Link thought it looked exactly the same as when she started poking at it, but she's the expert.

She bent over nicely to see the track the periscope swivelled on to view side to side. Since her back was turned, Link let his eyes wander over the view she provided. So it was a surprise when a loud clang echoed through the still cabin. It rang like a bell for a moment before Zelda reeled back and whacked the track again with a hammer that had appeared in her hand while he was distracted.

"What are you doing?!" Link asked incredulously, "You're gonna break it!"

She ignored him and reeled back where he caught her hand before she could thrust forward and hit the track again.

"Hey!" She screeched, "Let go! It's almost fixed!"

She yanked against his hold and he tightened his grip.

"You can't do that! What if it breaks? We need that periscope so I can see while I drive this thing back."

She stopped flailing against him for a moment and he suddenly noticed their position. He was holding her arm over her head and had pulled her by the waist to press her back flush against him. There was very little space between them and it was completely inappropriate, but if he loosened his grip she might hit the hull with her hammer again. Or him. Either way, he kept his grip tight and imagined she didn't feel soft and plump and warm. She didn't seem to be having the same problem.

"You drive?! I'll be driving."

"You? I know how to drive these things. You're just a mechanic. You'll be on the radio."

"No, I'll be driving. No one is going to be on the radio. You will be sitting in the back and manning the gun. I can't shoot that thing and there's no way we're getting back without alerting the enemy. When we've crossed the lines then I'll man the radio."

Right. That made sense. He released her body and immediately used his hand to push the hair out of his face. He needed to find out how to fire this thing quickly. She used his lapse to throw her whole body forward and hit the periscope track one more time with all her body weight. She inspected her hack-job and seemed satisfied with the level of damage inflicted. The periscope was reassembled in minutes and she gave him a smug look when it swivelled from side to side smoothly. Minx.

"How do you boys sleep in this heat? I know sometimes you're in here for days. It's suffocating." She asked while sitting down delicately in the drivers seat. It was strangely feminine compared to the way she trudged around while working. She clasped her hands and draped her legs elegantly to the side as if they were sitting in a nice restaurant instead of huddled in a tank beyond the front.

He shook himself. "We don't. I usually sleep on the ground outside. But, we'll have to keep buttoned and tough it out in here. "

Link tried to seem nonchalant as he unbuttoned the first few buttons on his uniform and removed his boots. Every movement felt unrefined compared to her effortless presence. It was going to be a long, hot, uncomfortable night. The width of the cabin wasn't wide enough to lay completely flat, but it was close. He couldn't remember a time that he wished he was shorter. Zelda wasn't faring much better. She was a little taller than him and seemed reluctant to sleep sitting against the wall as he was preparing to do. He mostly didn't watch as she pulled off her shirt to reveal a white undershirt and remarkably toned arms. Link suppressed a smile when she bundled it into a cushion for her distracting bottom. Zelda's shoulder brushed his before he realised that the only place for her to sit was squished next to him, jammed into the console and with her feet pressed against the small step on the other side into the turret. She was soft and warm against his side. He pulled his bandana off his head and offered it to her. Anything to keep her soft hair from brushing him all night long and shifting his dreams to images of her.

“Is that any way to address your prince?” 

You turn to face him, clad in his usual soft, black and green leather. The last you had seen him was three days ago during your training with Frigga, which he usually attends even if all he does is sit on the concrete steps by the wall, reading a book, until he was sent to tend to an urgent matter in a different city. 

“My apologies, Prince Loki.” You lower your head slightly in a bow, eyes full of jest, “When did you return?” 

“Earlier.” He takes steps closer and the night light only does favours to his already beautiful complexion. “I thought I sensed your magic here so I sought out the source. Turns out it was only a book.” 

The item materialises in his hand. He moves it back when you reach out and sends you a knowing look. 

“The first thing you do after your return is to look for me? I’m honoured.” You smile. “Did you miss me that much?” 

Stepping closer for another attempt to snatch the book away, you come face to face with him as he makes it disappear once again. “And if my answer is yes?” Your faces only inches apart, his green eyes bore into yours and you take in a breath but it sounded more like a soft gasp. 

Clearing your throat, you divert your gaze to the ground, ignoring the rapid beating of your heart and take a few steps back. Loki is always teasing you, he probably didn’t mean that anyway. “Loki⎼ Prince Loki, may I have my book back please?” 

“Have you ever heard the phrase, finders keepers?” 

“Please?” You muster up the cutest pout to the best of your abilities. 

Loki tries to fight the way his eyes wish to remain glued to your lips but it’s a futile attempt. His own press together in a tight smile and he holds out his hand with the book in it. You study him for a few moments before deciding it isn’t a trick this time. But of course you should have known it wouldn’t be that easy. It disappears just as the tips of your fingers brush against it, your hand lands atop his, he takes the chance and wraps his fingers around yours. Within a fraction of a second, your surroundings change. 

You now stand on a balcony at the end of a familiar hallway, stairs leading down to the garden on your left and before you, a magnificent view overlooking the sleeping city of Asgard. A favourite spot of yours, where you spend many late afternoons watching the sun go down, and many of those times with Loki right beside you. 

“Lovely view this time of night, don’t you think?” From the corner of your eye, you notice his eyes don’t leave you as he says that yet he looks away when you turn to him. “So calm and peaceful.” 

“My my,” you giggle, the sound like heaven to his ears, “feeling sentimental tonight, are we? What a rare occasion.” 

“You dare mock your prince?” 

“I am not.” you hold your head up, noting the lack of seriousness in his tone this time, “I am only stating facts, your highness.” 

He mirrors your smile with something akin to fondness in his eyes, but it disappears almost immediately and he averts his gaze down then back at the view. It makes your heart twist with hope but you remind yourself that you would only be setting yourself up for disappointment. 

After a period of comfortable silence, you lean toward him and whisper as if not to disturb his moment of peace, “Loki? Can I have my book back now?” 

He copies your movement, moving in unbelievably close, lips hovering just over your ear and your shoulder lifts up slightly when his breath tickles your skin, “No.” 

“Loki.” You manage to keep your voice steady and stern yet it only makes him chuckle. A pair of guards walk by, pausing for a moment to acknowledge the prince while you turn away to hide your burning face. 

Would they speak of this to others? What would people say if word gets round of you and the prince being up at such a timing, in close proximity, enjoying what one considers a rather romantic view? You wait till they turn the corner of the garden and their backs are out of view before turning back to him. “I’m starting to think you’re only doing this to keep me here. You don’t have to resort to such things to spend time with me, you know.” 

“Are you saying you are willing to entertain me whenever I wish?” 

“No,” you drag out the word and speak slowly as if you’re explaining something to a child. “I will spend time with you and keep you company if you ask nicely.” 

He nods as he listens and a satisfied smile plays on his lips. “You know I will hold you to that.” 

“I know.” You smile, “I mean it.”

“Very well then. I’ll return what’s yours.” 

“Wait, really?”

The surprise is evident on your face. You were sure he wouldn’t back down so quickly. “But only on the condition that I may have a look at its contents. Just to be sure it really is yours.” 

Of course. He holds up the book with a mischievous grin and shrugs. 

He knows for a fact that it’s yours. You’re never without it. It holds all the notes you’ve taken down after every lesson with Frigga. Loki often looks on as you write, complaining about how redundant writing is when you can just memorise from practice and that you’re wasting time. Yet he stays with you till you’re done. 

The other half of the book however, is full of sketches; sceneries, flowers, random palace people...and of Loki. 

You shift uncomfortably at the thought of him seeing your drawings of him. You had set a protection charm over the book so no one other than you, unless you allow it, would be able to see its contents. Mainly so no one else would have access to your notes on magic, but the many sketches you have of the prince isn’t something you’d like others to get their hands on either.

“Well?” He steps closer still flashing a grin. 

“Alright.” You say, albeit timidly. A look of slight surprise graces his features and with a flick of your wrist, the charm goes undone temporarily.

You watch closely as he flips from page to page, a playful smirk still playing on his lips until he reaches the halfway mark and the pages appear blank. His brows furrow in confusion and sharp eyes find you again while a finger traces the page from top to bottom. “You’re hiding these pages from me. You’re getting better at controlling your magic.” 

“Her Majesty is my mentor after all.” You say proudly, the anxiety slowly dissipating. “Isn’t she why you’re as powerful as you are?” 

The book snaps shut and you teleport it into your hands, celebrating internally when it works. It would’ve been embarrassing had it not; teleporting isn’t your strong suit, not yet at least. “It’s late,” you say as you shove it safely into your satchel, but when you look up he’s gone. “Loki?”

“You’re right.” His voice whispers in your ear and you yelp, spinning on your feet to find him smirking behind you. Why do you always fall for that? "It's late. You shouldn't be walking around the palace at this time on your own." 

"If there was anywhere I could be walking around on my own it would be in this palace." 

He hums in agreement. "Why don't we take a shortcut?" 

He offers his palms out to you. You haven’t mastered teleporting yourself yet, only managing to do so over a small distance, so you place your hands in his, fingers very gently holding on to yours. The next moment you're standing outside the doors to your chambers in the apprentice wing. His eyes never tear away from yours.

"Thank you Loki." 

"You are most welcome." He stands and looks around expectantly, and when you question his motives, he looks at the large doors behind you. "Aren't you going to invite me in?" 

You let out a hearty laugh, he waits patiently for you to be done, thoroughly amused himself at how you found that funny. "You wish."

“I thought you said you were willing to spend time with me?”

“Yes,” you look at him unbelievably, “but not now.”

“Well I demand you to.” 

“Well I respectfully reject it.” You hold back a laugh from escaping when the corners of his mouth drops into a frown. “Sorry to break it to you but sometimes in life you don’t get everything you wish for.” 

"Oh but you see, if I truly wish for something," his eyes dart to your lips, "it will be mine sooner or later." 

You shove him playfully on the chest but only to hide the embarrassment. He lowers his head in a smirk, taking a few steps back then looks up at you with his usual look of disinterest. 

“Goodnight.” 

“Goodnight Loki.” 

And he disappears. Pushing through the doors and making your way straight to the bed, you lie on your back and place your hands on both sides of your cheeks, feeling it burn. Then you roll on your front, reaching for the notebook and flipping to the second half where it gets messier, full of lead marks and more importantly doodles and drawings of Loki. Those only you can see. You sigh in relief. 

“Wait⎼” Something is amiss. You get on your knees, close the book to take a deep breath and open it up again. Your most recent drawing of him is gone; one you had worked on this afternoon from memory alone, a portrait of his piercing eyes, raven locks and signature smirk. You were sure you’re on the exact page it was drawn on. But it’s empty. Your heart beats a mile a minute. To be extra sure, you check the other pages in a hurry, carelessly flipping through without caring if the pages get folded.

It couldn’t be the charm, as it should work only on others. Everything should appear before you. Turning to the page it’s supposed to be on again, you blink once, twice then squint as something starts to appear, but it isn’t your drawing as you had hoped. 

A little sloppy. Good effort though. I’m keeping it.  

Your eyes widen, lips part and insides start to twist. 

but as weeks go by, your one worded texts and curt responses weren’t cutting it out for him. not when you’re posting like normal on instagram, spending nights out with friends. 

this time he doesn’t wait for you to pick up on the other side of the call. his car is parked right in front of your office building, and he stands right across the entrance, waiting for you to come out. when you finally do close to 7pm, you pause mid-way out the door. blinking at the man now standing on the footpath with his hands in his pockets, an unimpressed look on his face. 

“what are you doing here?” you ask, taking small steps and maintaining the distance between you. 

“had dinner yet?” he ignores your question.

your mouth parts to answer but you hesitate. your cold front was so much easier over the phone. now standing in front of him, you shrivel up in guilt. you hadn’t explained anything to him, and he’s probably as confused as ever. 

you shake your head gently. “no but…it’s alright i can get something on the way back.” 

yoongi nods, lips pursed. then he turns, and you think he’s mad. but all he does is open the passenger seat door for you, nodding his head for you to get in. your feet feel heavy. you shouldn’t. you have half a mind to back away, and speed off down the street. 

but of course, you don’t. not when he extends his palm out to you, a hint of hope in his eyes. 

his thumb gently caresses the back of your palm as you step inside, adjusting yourself comfortably. you wonder if you’ve made the right choice as you watch him cross the front of the vehicle and slipping into the seat next to yours. he leans over to reach for your seatbelt, face now inches away from yours, the smell of his cologne in your face, and you curse yourself for forgetting to do it yourself. 

the entire ride was silent as he let the radio fill the car. yoongi never cared much for conversation anyways, it was always you chatting away while he drove. but now, the silence is too much even for him. 

he drops you off at his fancy apartment, one you’ve been to many times, hands the doorman a bunch of bags and tells you to wash up while he gets you dinner. 

twenty minutes later, you’re out of the shower, wearing clothes you’d left behind months ago, just an oversized shirt and red strawberry shorts. 

the front door clicks open and yoongi enters with packed food from one of your favourite restaurants. he doesn’t let you help, only pulling the chair out for you as he starts setting the table with the food. 

the entire vibe is awkward, though yoongi looks unfazed. not that you’re not used to him doing this for you, he’s always taken the initiative to set the table and everything. it’s the elephant in the room that’s killing you. 

you take a few bites before already feeling full, not from the food but from the glasses of water you’ve downed in an attempt to calm your nerves. as yoongi eats quietly, you prod at the food with your fork. 

“what’s wrong?” he asks, far too casually with how everything’s going so far. “not good?”

“it’s good.” you answer way too quickly, dismissing him. “i’m just-”

“not in the mood?” 

you look up and his dark eyes pierce straight into yours. you muster up a smile. “i’m full.” 

“that’s fine,” he nods, reaching for your plate, “you can have it for lunch tomorrow.” 

yoongi’s fingers wrap around the edge of your plate, but before he can bring it over to his side, your hands wrap around his wrist and the dish falls back on your placemat. his eyes flicker up at you, only now having noticed the large cut on the back of his hand. “your hand. what happened?”

he shrugs, turning his hand to look at the wound. it’s mostly healed, but still a little red. “cut myself while trying to fix that mirror.” he nods to the newly placed mirror by the front door. 

you had suggested that once. months ago. for one last outfit check before we leave the house! you reasoned. he listened. 

“the mirror fell the first time round. cut myself while picking up the pieces.” he explains, but doesn’t pull his hand away, waiting till you finally ease up.

your face still twisted with concern and the guilt you’ve been wearing the entire evening. “i told you not to diy things…” you click your tongue. “you’re not handy.” 

“excuse me? who do you think assembled half the furniture here?” he scowls.

“pretty sure they assemble things for you when it’s delivered.” 

“maybe for clumsys like you.” he retorts and you crack a smile, scoffing out a tiny laugh. 

“i’m not the one that dropped a mirror.” 

he chuckles, and your heart skips. “it was heavy.” 

your giggles eventually die down, and once again an awkward silence blankets the space between you. but with the tension having died down a little, you let out a tiny exhale before getting up with your plate, going round him to the kitchen island and racking the cupboards for a glass container to store the leftover pasta. 

yoongi comes round a minute later with his empty plate, giving it a wash while you help him clear the other stuff on the table and giving it a wipe down. 

“thanks.” he says when you appear next to him, running your hands under the water. 

you smile, shaking your head and reaching for the paper towels, now standing before him awkwardly. “thank you for getting dinner.” 

“you barely ate,” he comments, “are you-” 

“i think i’ll head home.” you blurt out, and his brows raise ever so slightly, the soft smile he had on gradually disappearing. 

he turns his side to you, leaning against the counter and crossing his arms over his chest. an attempt to protect himself from whatever this is; the banging in his chest making him warm. “it’s late. just stay here for the night. i’ll drive you back tomorrow.”

a low rumble comes from outside, rain still pouring down. 

you shuffle towards the window, looking at signs of life down below. it’s not that late, you could still catch the last bus if he won’t take you home. he watches your back as you contemplate. you don’t even realise he comes close, till his arms wrap around your middle and you stiffen in response.

he notices, leaning his head against yours. “i’m not letting you leave in this weather. it’s not safe.” 

he presses you closer into him, and you feel your insides tingle. it’s been a while since you’ve been this close, feeling his breath on your neck. 

as he slowly lowers his head, bringing his lips to your shoulder, pressing soft, gentle kisses over your skin. he feels your muscles slowly relax under him, and the corners of his lips turn up into a smile. you feel it against you. 

a palm slips under your shirt, roaming over your tummy, getting teasingly close to your chest. he hums, turning his attention down south, cupping your sex over your shorts. you suck in a breath. “yoongi.”

“hm?”

the movement of his fingers causing friction between your folds and the shorts has you losing focus. all thoughts about leaving pushed to the back of your mind as his other hand plays with your breasts, flicking your nipple while he slips the other under your shorts. 

“i’m-” you lose your voice. 

“already?” he chuckles, breath tickling your neck as he plants kisses just under your ear. 

you don’t bother with a retort, fully engrossed in whatever he’s doing to you, fingers expertly navigating your folds, then locating your clit which has your knees turning to jelly. your fingers fist his sweater behind you, and the other around his arm as you angle your hips for a better feel. 

breathy moans leave your lips, head now leaning back against his shoulder. you hate that you’d much rather be doing this on his king sized bed, letting him have his way with you till you’re spent. you hate how you’re still so weak for him. even after you promised yourself to let him go. 

you could’ve just said no, and he’d leave you alone. let you go, probably send you home himself. but one touch and you’re all his. you’re no better than him after all. 

“oh princess, you’ve missed me huh?” he comments, watching the way you roll your hips against the heel of his palm, the wetness letting three fingers enter easily. 

“ah-” your nails dig into his arm. 

he wastes no time of course, eager to let you reach the climax you’re craving for. wet, sloppy, embarrassing sounds can be heard over the sound of the rain as he fingers you without mercy. resting most of your weight entirely on him now, he feels your body twitch, and your voice hitching. 

with a kiss to your cheek, he curves his fingers in the way you like it and your back arches against him, as you come all over his fingers. 

he holds you steady as you regain your senses, fingers tenderly rubbing against your sensitive folds till he feels your weight slowly pushed off him. still, the arm around your waist remains as he removes his hand from your shorts. 

clouded by the ecstasy cursing through your veins, you turn in his hold, wrapping around him and kissing him hungrily. not one to refuse such eagerness, a clump of your hair ends up in his fist, steadying you against him, moulding his lips against yours. 

hands grab the underside of your thighs, lifting you into his arms, and he carries you to the couch where he drops you gently. no time is wasted as he swiftly tugs his sweater off, then his pants, exposing his already hard self. 

your shorts come off and his pupils dilate at the sight: wet, sticky, and ready. he rubs his length against your folds, watching your face twist with a growing need. your body twitches as he lets his tip rub against your clit. he thinks he hears a whisper of his name. “what’s that, princess?”

you breathe out a sigh, lifting your head to watch as he slowly rubs against your swollen folds. “please-”

“please what?” he lets his tip slip inside you only for a second before pulling out again. you whine in defeat. “i can’t hear you.”

“i want it.” you say, bringing your fingers to your aching core, but he slaps it away. 

“what do you want, baby?” a sudden jolt shoots through you as he slips in again, and pulls out. but what’s more is the nickname he used. baby. it’s always princess, or darling. never baby. 

“i want you.” you whisper. “i want you inside me.”

it’s not enough for him. “you want this inside of you?”

you nod desperately and he almost gives in. he reaches down to tug your shirt- his shirt- over your head, running his warm hands over your naked body, leaning in for a kiss while continuing to rub himself against you. you whine against his lips, bucking your hips into his. he curses, slapping the side of your ass. you yelp out a cry. he hovers above, staring at your face. “please?” you utter with the sweetest voice you can muster. 

“i don’t want to.” he kisses you. “you think you deserve to get fucked tonight? after ignoring me for three weeks?” 

you can only stare up at him as he continues to roll his hips. “i-”

“leaving me on read. not calling me back. and you think you deserve this? hm? i think i might just spend all night making you beg for it instead.”

“no.” you whine, “i wont do it again. i’ll be a good girl.”

his chest rises and falls as he listens. “yeah?”

you nod urgently.

“you gonna be a good girl for me?”

“i promise.” you bite your bottom lip as you watch him get back on his knees, cock twitching against your folds. “fuck me please.” “again.”

“fuck me yoongi. fu-”

he lets his cock inside you fully this time, groaning at the feeling of your warm cunt swallowing him. he hisses, easing his breath so he wouldn’t cum prematurely. 

yoongi holds on to your calves, pushing your legs against you. with one dark stare, he starts ramming into you, and you lose all your senses at once. all you can feel is yoongi, slamming his hips into yours ruthlessly. 

“wai- yoong-” you try to grab hold onto something. 

your sounds of pleasure fill his apartment, feeling yourself quickly reaching your climax at the pace he’s going. yoongi leans back, holding your legs up as he deprives you of a chance to catch your breath, feeling you tighten around him. your body tenses, and you cry out as you tremble in his hold, cumming all over his cock, feeling it drip down your ass. 

he slows down, but doesn’t stop, leaning in to kiss you once more. he plays with your tits, bringing his mouth over one and squeezing the other. 

he gets back to his knees and continues to fuck you, causing you to cry out from sensitivity. he pulls you closer, bottoming out inside of you and groaning in pleasure. 

you complain with a whine, reaching out for his arms. 

“i thought you wanted me to fuck you.” his voice is low and raspy, catching both your wrists and holding them close to him, stopping you from pulling away. 

cries of pleasure mix in with your cries of ache in your core. “mm- cum-” “ugh, i’m spoiling you when i should be punishing you instead.” his voice trembles as he speaks, hooked onto the look on your face. 

you barely register the words coming out of his mouth, only on the way he’s slipping in and out of you, sounds of skin slapping filling the room, the sweet moans that come out of you on its own. 

“cum together?” you ask so innocently it makes his dick throb. 

yoongi angles himself nearer, mustering up whatever energy he has left, locked in on your eyes, that seem to have a shine to them. when your wrists wriggle in his grip, he knows you’re close. 

his hips move at a constant pace. not the same kind of loving from the last time you met, it was more of a warning never to ignore him again. and you’ll gladly accept the consequences. 

the sounds coming out of you are melodious. you cry out his name, sobbing when it gets too much, “yoongi- i can’t-”

your body twitches as it reaches its limit, thighs squeezing together as you tremble, cumming all over his cock. with a grunt, yoongi cums right after, transfixed on the ecstasy on your face, and the way the walls of your cunt squeeze around him. 

he lets himself fall forward, hovering over you as his hips buck into yours, milking out every last drop. 

—

soft music from yoongi’s room travels into the bathroom, where you and he have made yourselves comfortable in the tub after a shower. every time, you’re amazed at how lavishly he lives. there was a high rise apartment kind of rich, which he is, and then there’s a huge bathtub in a bathroom of a high rise apartment kind of rich. also him. 

he rests on the side across from you, leaning his head against the solid, eyes closed. you keep to your end, allowing your senses to finally return, screaming at you over what occurred. this wasn’t part of the plan. but you just couldn’t resist him. you needed him. 

as if he could hear your thoughts, yoongi snaps his eyes open. and the first thing he sees is yours. after a couple of seconds, the water swooshes about as he slides over to your side.

when he settles down, you turn to the side, meeting his gaze, and break out into a chuckle. he swings his arm around your shoulder, and you very naturally slide into him. 

his arm rests on your thigh like it’s the most natural thing ever, and he stares at your side profile. you turn to him, running your eyes over his face. “yes?”

with a straight face, he stares into your eyes that shine with so much vulnerability in them, “tell me what’s wrong.”

“nothing’s wrong.” you say softly, knowing he doesn’t believe you. you don’t believe you. 

“then why are you being so cold to me?” he asks. if he’s hurt, it doesn’t show. “if i did something wrong, you can tell me. i want to know.” 

“you didn’t do anything…”

“stop.” he shakes his head, “clearly something’s bothering you. what is it?” 

“i wanted some time for myself.” you say without looking at him. “is that so wrong?”

he raises a brow and you squirm, feeling his grip on your thigh tighten when you do. “why didn’t you just say so?”

“because.” you shrug. “it’s not like you’re my boyfriend. i don’t have to tell you everything.”

he stops and stares. “are we just gonna pretend you’re not taking a tone with me?”

“i’m not.” you huff, sliding away from him and turning to face him with a slight frown. he loves that. you cross your arms, wanting him to drop it already. but at the same time you can’t help but to relish in the fact that he actually cares enough to want to find out why you were distancing yourself. “you’re overreacting.”

“i’m over-” yoongi laughs. “you’re impossible, you know that?”

he didn’t mean it in a bad way, evident by the smile still on his face. he puts his palms up, shrugging. “fine, if you say we’re good, then i’m good.”

“yeah. we’re good…” your voice fades away towards the end and he raises a knowing brow. “can i ask you something?” 

he laughs, having expected this. 

you suddenly feel exposed in the middle of the tub. “what do you think about…this?”

“this?” 

“you know…” you slide closer, placing a hand on his thigh. his eyes roam to your bare collarbone then back up at you. “this…between us?” 

“what?” his hand slides over yours and up your arm. “you’re gonna have to be more specific.”

you start to get warm when he focuses on you, expectant. “us. this thing between us.”

“you mean this awkward tension after you ghosted me for three weeks?” 

he sees the drop in your expression and moves closer to you, hugging your side. “hey, i was kidding.” 

you nod, smiling weakly. “i know. sorry.”

he runs his eyes over your features, hand placing over your tummy, “i missed you.” 

you turn to see his smiling face, and his thumb tracing over your cheek. he doesn’t seem to be joking this time. “you did?” 

yoongi nods. “of course. all those nights i could’ve spent cuddled up with you but instead…it was just me.” 

“oh, so you missed…” the sex. of course. that’s all that you are to him afterall. why did you think three weeks would make a difference. he has other options. in fact, he might’ve had them over when you didn’t respond. “right…”

“what?” he asks when you try to wiggle out of his hold. 

“i think i’m done being in the water.” you say with a fake smile. droplets of water roll down your form as you get up and yoongi watches your figure make your way out of the tub, wrap a towel around yourself and leave the washroom. 

– 

back in his room, you’ve managed to find other pairs of clothing you left behind and put them on. you unplug your phone from the nightstand charger and check your notifications, only now realising he’d sent you a bunch of texts over lunch. the chat was muted, so you never realised. 

you hear the bathroom door open behind you, and he steps out in a robe, walking over to his wardrobe. you don’t turn, pretending to be busy by the window. 

“why didn’t you wear the ones i got you?” he asks, holding up the bags you’d brought up earlier.

you see it from the reflection on the window, and turn. “i didn’t realise they were for me.”

he raises a brow. “you didn’t think i’d wear this, did you?” he snakes a hand inside and pulls out a light blue laced lingerie. 

you chuckle at the image, covering your mouth. his muscles visibly relax when he sees you smile. 

“there’s also a new pajama set in here. i know you like when things match inside and outside.”

your face goes warm again. why does he remember such details about you? you only mentioned it once, you think. 

“thanks.” you go over to him and receive it. “do you want me to wear it now?”

yoongi rests on the edge of his bed with a scrunched up face. “you can wear it whenever you want to. it’s yours. i don’t buy stuff just cause i wanna see you in it.” 

you look at him with a raised brow. 

“fine, sometimes.” he says with a straight face and watches as you roll your eyes and strut across the room in your oversized shirt - his shirt - and place the bags by your stuff. “i buy things when they remind me of you.” 

you look at him with an amused look. “so you walked past a lingerie store, saw a set you liked and thought of me in it. how sweet.” 

“thank you, i am pretty sweet.” he chuckles, patting the space next to him. you walk over slowly and he grabs you by the hand, letting you settle between his legs instead. “but this time, i thought about you…what you’d like…and bought them because i know you’d like them.”

you can’t lie and say your heart didn’t skip a beat. “you were thinking about me?”

“clearly more than you thought about me.” he retorts. 

you stare at his pinkish lips, wet hair pushed back, dark orbs looking up at you, and heave out a sigh, relaxing into him. “...i thought of you.”

“yeah?” he hums, pressing you close. “tell me more.”

“you first.” 

“the evidence is right there in those missed calls and unread texts baby,” he whispers. then closes the gap between you again, tucking your hair behind your ear and cupping your jaw in his palm, in a gentle way but to show he’s in charge. he brings your face close and presses your lips together, getting his kiss. you whimper into it. “god, i’ve really missed this.”

you push back against him, pulling away with a smack of your lips. 

“is that the only thing you miss?” your voice is quiet but it fills the space between you. he ponders for a moment, eyes trailing over your features. 

“what?” 

shifting, you finally reach for him, hands gripping the hem of his sweater. “were there other things you missed…or just the sex?” 

“sounds like a trick question.” he grins. “is this a test?” 

“i’m serious yoongi.” your hands ball up in fists, pulling on the front of his sweater. “i want to know…do you miss me? or just someone to mess around with?”

the look on his face tells you it finally clicks in his mind. yoongi is quick, it wouldn’t take him much to figure it out. he just needed you to give him information.

“so that’s what this is about.” he hums, staring at you. you’re flushed, barely able to raise your head. 

you stay quiet.

“this is why you’ve ignored me? and acting strange this whole time?” maybe it was just your imagination, but his hold around you loosens. he might as well have kicked you out. 

your brows scrunch up, walls going up in defense. “i didn’t say that.” 

“y/n…”

you hate that tone he says it in, like he’s tired of this already. you avert your gaze. “you didn’t answer the question.” 

his silence is all you need to confirm it. when you try to move away, he holds you back, forcing you to look at him again. he stands over you now. “i did miss you. not just the sex.” 

his mouth parts and closes like he’s not done. 

“but…y/n, didn’t we talk about this?” he takes a breath. “remember what i said in the beginning? i only want this if we can stay friends throughout. and you agreed.” 

“i know that.” you huff. “i know what we agreed on. but…i-”

“the whole reason why i set that condition was because i was trying to avoid something like this from happening.” yoongi explains. “i’m not- i dont- i don’t like drama.”

“i’m the drama?” 

“no this-” he gestures between you, “this is the drama. this is why i don’t date. there’s always something, honestly…i just wanted something without all the…”

your heart clammers in your chest, feeling all sorts of rage. “well i’m sorry i didn’t live up to your expectations then.” 

as you turn to leave, he grabs your wrist, “don’t say that. that’s not what i meant.”

it’s quiet but the thundering of your chest takes over your senses. 

“y/n we…we talked about this…” he repeats, as if it would make it better. 

your heart sinks, freefalling thirty stories down the apartment building, smashing into the concrete floor below. i knew it i knew it i knew it. you knew he doesn’t feel the same. he doesn’t want anything more than whatever this is. and the thing is, you can’t be mad because he’s right, you did talk about it and agree to this physical relationship with him. 

you’re suddenly flushed, and embarrassed, like you’re trapped in a glass box and yoongi’s on the outside, staring at you. 

“right…” you whisper, chuckling lightly, “we did.” 

when you look at him, your eyes have a shine to them. you fight back the lump in your throat, especially when you see the way he looks at you. stop looking at me like you care! you want to scream. 

“sorry i’m being silly.” you push away from him, straightening yourself out, “i just…nevermind.” 

“y/n-”

“forget about it.” you look up at him, a pleading look. “please.” 

he squeezes your wrist, like he wants to say something, hold you a little longer, but he doesn’t. instead, he swallows, and nods, agreeing. 

that night, you lie on your side of yoongi’s bed, while he stays on his. you hear him sighing out every now and then, and you know he’s not asleep either. you stare out the window, and a single tear drops down to the pillow. you try to be as quiet as possible, sniffling silently. 

but clearly not silent enough, because you feel a shift behind you, and soon your freezing back is in yoongi’s warmth as he snakes his arm over your middle to pull you close, not saying anything, just letting you know he’s there. 

it makes you cry more, knowing this will never be how you want it to be. 

–

yoongi drifts off into a daydream, thoughts dragging him to a different country. he’s due for a nice vacation, and he can see it now, a casual stroll down the streets of rome, or a beach in bali, or maybe to london during christmas. that would be nice. 

but for some reason, his mind conjures up an image of you along in all these scenarios, as if it were not complete otherwise; your hand in his as you walk down the streets of rome at night, taking pictures of you with the eiffel tower at the back, seeing you all bundled up with a warm scarf around your neck in london. fuck.

snapping back to reality, he’s faced with a woman in front of him, who’s yet to stop talking or realising that she’d lost his attention ten minutes ago. this was his fourth try in a week, but somehow, not even one of them came close to you.

“hey, sorry.” he cuts her off. “i’m feeling a bit sick.”

her brows scrunch in worry. she doesn't have the same cute face you do when you do that. “are you okay? i have some-”

“i need to go. very sorry.” he pays for her drink anyways and zooms out of there, disappearing between the bodies of people before she can run after him. 

it’s been two months since you spoke. the morning after that night, he’d gone to work early, and you woke up to an empty house but with breakfast delivered right after a shower. he must have been checking on you through the cameras. 

but you packed your things and left. 

and he never chased you. 

yoongi drives through the city, with no destination in mind. he stops by the road just before a turn which leads to your apartment, letting the window down and the cool breeze calm his mind. why can’t he stop thinking about you? why can’t he let you go? he’d sworn of relationships, but even he can’t deny how natural it all felt when he was with you. 

the squeeze in his chest tightens when he’s reminded of the sounds of your sobbing that night in his bed. you let him hold you. even though he’d hurt you. 

he thought of calling, or sending a text. but nothing felt right. then days turned into weeks, and eventually a month had gone. and another. in that time, he kept himself busy, went to the bar thrice a week like he used to. spoke to lots of women, none of which made him forget about you. none made him feel the way you did. 

you just had something which made him calm and happy. the sex was amazing, but so were the other things, like how you’d cuddle his arm when you watched a movie, the way you get on your tiptoes to kiss him. the scrunch of your nose when you get mad. 

“damn it.” he curses, scrolling through his phone. 

—

“hey, you’re back!” 

your neighbour greets you as you slip your key into the lock, the other hand on the handle of your luggage, sliding it through the entrance. you give her a warm smile. “yeah, got the early flight.”

“how was germany?” “colder than i was expecting,” you shake your head at the memory, almost froze my fingers off. but it was a nice time.”

she pouts, locking her door. “i’m jealous.” 

“to be fair, i spent most of my time working.” you shrug, waving her off, “you didn’t miss out much.”

“oh well.” you neighbour sighs, “you got a little downtime i hope- oh! by the way, your boyfriend came looking for you.”

she sees the growing confusion on your face. 

“long hair, looks mildly annoyed?” 

it can’t be-

“he was here every evening last week, knocking on your door. had to tell him you weren’t in town eventually…it was getting sad.” she laughs at the memory, oblivious to the way you’re standing there in mild horror. 

yoongi had come looking for you? 

“i told him you’d be back today. hope that’s not a problem? i mean i’ve seen him around before so i thought…”

“oh,” you give an awkward laugh, slightly more horrified that she recognises him, “yeah don’t worry about it. thanks for letting me know.”

after a short goodbye, you let yourself inside and let your head fall back against the door, hoping the pain would mask the embarrassment you feel right now. you want to scream, not just at the fact that your neighbour has probably heard you and yoongi those nights together, but also that he came to look for you. 

granted you’ve put his chat on mute permanently, but you never received any calls in the last week you were gone. 

not wanting to get out of your dirty clothes yet - this is much too urgent - you check your chat with yoongi. 

can i see you? 

i want to talk 

please? 

that was a little over a week ago. like your neighbour said, he’d come round all week, probably thinking you were ghosting him again, wanting to make up and go back to your usual hookup. 

you wouldn’t put it past him. although you were sure he was done with you after that night. moving on to the next person he can find, no strings attached. no drama, unlike you. 

what if he does end up wanting to go back to normal? it’s something you’ve thought about a lot. he’s good at that - letting things go. 

and to be honest, you wouldn’t be opposed to it. not because your girlfriends haven’t yelled at you enough to stop going back, nor is it because you no longer feel the same about him. 

it’s because you miss him. and maybe being close to him, even just for sex, is better than losing him altogether. 

fingers hover over the keypad, wrecking your brain for what to say. nothing comes to mind. you can’t think straight, not with the jetlag fogging over your brain. you leave it for now. it’s better to respond with a clearer mind. 

after a long shower, you let the pillows swallow you whole, succumbing to the heaviness of your eyelids, knowing you’d probably have trouble later tonight. 

–

the sky is dark when your eyes flutter open, having slept for five whole hours. you sit up groggily, wiping the drool off your chin, contemplating your existence. the immediate grumbling of your stomach reminds you that you haven’t had a proper meal since yesterday. 

you’d emptied the fridge before your trip, so takeout is your only option.

after a quick wash up, you’re grabbing your keys and turning the door handle, only to find yoongi, fist halfway up to a knock, face as surprised as yours. maybe even more. you might have even noticed a gulp. 

he stands there in all black, in his casual work attire. after a couple of moments, his shoulders visibly relax and a smile appears on his face. 

i’ve missed you. 

–

despite refusing, yoongi insisted on driving you to the fast food joint nearby. it was only a twenty minute walk, which meant the awkward ride was thankfully shorter. 

at this time of the evening, a crowd had gathered inside, forcing you to stick closer to him than you would have. not that he minds. in fact, he finds himself straining to keep his hand from wrapping around your shoulder and holding you closer. 

“you don’t have to eat here if you don’t want to.” you say, looking up at him as he looks at the menu. “i’ll get it to go.” 

“we can eat in the car,” he tears his eyes from the screen, “or at my place?”

the question lingers. you ignore it, allowing the noise to drown it out, pretending you never heard that part. 

“set b?” he asks, and this time you hear him fine, and look at him again.

“yeah-”

“upsize with fries, no veggies on your burger?” 

“yeah.” that’s exactly what you were gonna get. you fight the sting in your chest, a mixture of surprise and affection that he remembers how you like it. even more so because you never really frequented this specific place as much together, only those nights he’d come over. 

your thoughts come to a pause when a shoulder bumps into yours, squeezing through to get to their order on the counter. instinctively, yoongi wraps his arm around your waist to keep you steady, pressing you against him. sneaking a glance at him, he doesn’t react, keeping a straight face as he looks ahead. holding you close, like it’s only natural. 

you end up eating in his car parked by the street as you watch people go by, while he watches you. it’s impossible not to notice when he does it so brazenly. but you don’t acknowledge it, continuing to pick the pickles off your supposedly no veggie burger. 

“they’re not bad,” he laughs, “the flavours come together when you eat.”

“it’s not that i don’t like them.” you explain. “i just don’t like them with my burger.”

he shakes his head with a chuckle. then it goes quiet again. 

“sorry i didn’t reply to your texts.” you finally say. 

yoongi looks up from his food and you notice the way his eyes light up, and you spot something you rarely see in them, vulnerability. his walls are down. 

“that’s okay.” he shrugs. “you were out of the country.”

“for work.” you nod. not that it mattered. and yoongi isn’t stupid - why would being elsewhere stop you from replying? 

“how was it?”

“it was nice,” you shrug, “cold though.”

“mm.” he nods, and you can hear the wheels turning in his mind. he’s yet to bring up what he wants to talk about. “how’ve you been? in the last month.”

distracted. a mess. heartbroken. 

“fine.” you manage to keep a straight face, though you’re sure the crack in your voice betrays you. “what about you?”

“i’ve been okay.” he shrugs, looking down again. “bored.”

you think he might be baiting you, but one look at him and you realise not. he looks at the fries in his hand, chewing and deep in thought. you wonder if everything’s okay. it’s not unusual for him to be quiet, but something feels off. 

“is everything alright?” you ask, hesitantly. 

he takes a moment, surprised at your sudden concern. 

“do you want to drop by my place?” he comes right out and asks, hopeful, though it doesn’t show. he’s also aware he’s fully ignored your question, but he’s been waiting for you all week, and now that you’re here everything he wants to talk to you about feels like it’s much too important to be chatting in a car. “we could hang out and talk a bit more?”

his heart races while you contemplate.

you scrunch up the wrapper in your hands and take a sip. “maybe next time? i’m really tired.” 

a lie, you’d just slept for 5 hours. 

it was odd, you’d just rejected his offer, but you feel the pang in your chest when his expression drops in disappointment. yoongi never shows too much, not like this. 

a part of you wonders if you should go with him, tell him you’ve changed your mind. you can sleep over after all (cause that’s always a good idea, right?). but then you recall the last time you were there, and your face heats up. 

yoongi doesn’t question you. he drives you back without complaining, and walks you up to your door despite you telling him you’re fine on your own. as you stand at the door, thanking him for dinner, you contemplate, on a hug- a handshake?- or something. “thanks yoongi.”

“no problem.” he stands, hands in his pockets. “can i see you tomorrow?” 

“i know it’s been two month, but surely you can wait a little more.”

his brows raise slightly, an urgency in his voice. you were joking of course. “no- it’s not- i-” he calms down when you laugh, “i just want to talk.” 

he inches closer and you freeze as his eyes drop to your lips, but his hand comes up to your hair, tucking the stray strands out of your face and behind your ear. 

“i’ll pick you up.” he says, still staring at your lips, and you wonder if he’ll kiss you. he doesn’t, eyes flickering up to yours. “okay?”

“okay.” it comes out as a whisper.

–

yoongi arrives on time as promised, face lighting up as soon as you exit the doors of your building, carrying a big tub in your hands. his eyes land on it as he opens the door for you. “what’s that?” 

“i baked. banana bread.” you say. 

his eyes flicker up to yours, corners of his lips turning upwards. he loves your banana bread. you see the silly smile on his face as he crosses the front of the car and into his seat. 

“it’s still warm.” you click the cover off the container, “you want a taste?”

before he can respond, busy steering out of the street and checking mirrors, you’ve peeled a chunk off and reached over to his lips. yoongi gulps at the scent, taking the bite, and pretending he doesn’t feel your soft fingers brush against his lips. 

“so good,” he mutters as he chews. 

the smile stays throughout the ride, and you silently hope it’s not just the banana cake that’s kept it there. and it’s not because your girlfriends haven’t yelled at you enough about going back to him, you’re fully aware that he doesn’t see you in the way you want him to. 

don’t do this to yourself. dont be stupid. you deserve so much better. their voices echo in your mind. 

and yes, maybe they’re right. but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy being with him for as long as he still wants you around. 

as soon as you arrive at his place, the smell of tofu stew lingers in the air, and you see the table already set up for two. he comes up behind you, gently resting his hand on your back. “come on.”

“did you make this?” you ask, taking a sip of the soup that he’d scooped into a smaller bowl for you. 

his brows scrunch together, “are you questioning my abilities?” 

“hm. it’s a little too good.” you take another spoonful and let out a satisfactory squeal. 

“i’ll have you know i made it from scratch.” he narrows his eyes at you. “and with love.” 

he pauses abruptly at the end, not realising what he’d said till it left his mouth. you wouldn’t have thought anything about it, just yoongi being yoongi, but his reaction has you focusing on the food in front of you instead of him.

“it’s really good.” you say, mid-chew. 

the tension eases, or at least, yoongi goes back to normal, and gives a warm smile as he takes a bite himself. “thanks. i put in lots of tofu, i know you like them. and also your favourite enoki mushrooms.”

“you’re sweet,” your heart hammers against your ribcage, god you adore him. 

a comfortable silence falls between the two of you while you continue your dinner. he asks you about your trip and you tell him about how you didn’t want to go, but was essentially chosen for it. he listens carefully as you go on, at times, eyes dropping to your lips then back up again. 

then after, yoongi does the dishes while you wipe the table down. when you’re done, you go over to his side, helping him dry them before placing everything neatly on the rack. 

“thanks for dinner.” you say, as you watch him dry his hands. 

“no problem.” he mutters without looking at you, busy pulling out two mugs. “hot chocolate?” 

you nod, eyes lingering a little longer over his features.

he gets to work, hands moving swiftly and you stand there watching him. after he pours the steaming hot water into the mug, stirring the drinks, he turns to you, now heading in your direction. 

your heart hammers in your chest as you step back, but the counter sits behind you, and traps you as yoongi closes in. he looks down at you for a moment, and his pupils watch you swallow the lump in your throat. a tiny smile breaks out before he extends his hand, reaching behind you for a spoon.

you let out a quiet breath when he steps away, the clinking of the spoon against the mugs as he stirs. why are you so nervous? 

you clear your throat, and straighten yourself out. he hands you a mug, and you take a sip before placing it back on the counter, watching him. 

“so, what did you want to talk about?” 

“about the other night.”

you start to heat up, remembering just how terribly it went. “can we not?” you huff out an embarrassed laugh.

his lips curl up. “i want to though.” 

“okay…” you turn away, walking around the island as he watches you. “what about the other night?”

you take interest in the view instead, noticing how the clouds have greyed above, a glow of lightning in the distance. ironically in the same way it did the last time you found yourself here. behind you, yoongi follows your path, showing up by your side. “when did it start? for you?” he asks bluntly. 

“i don’t know.” you dart your eyes around everywhere but him. “it just did. i just like spending time with you and being with you. and…i like you.” 

his head nods gently, trying to understand it. “you’re cute.” 

“what?” you laugh, swallowing down the nervousness building in your throat. 

he smiles, then runs his hand through his hair. “you might not know this but i’m not very good at romantic stuff.”

your eyes go wide comically, and you cover your mouth with a gasp. “really? i would’ve never guessed!”

“okay.” he says in response, rolling his eyes with a smile tugging on his lips. “i um, set those conditions at the start because i…really suck at relationships. it’s something i’ve never really been good at.”

“did someone hurt you?” 

“maybe. i don’t know.” he sucks in a breath. “like i said, it’s just…drama.” 

“hm.” you nod, not knowing if you should pull on this thread. 

“things always end up in a fight about something.” yoongi mutters. “i don’t do enough, or i care about my work too much- i don’t know.”

you’ve always felt yoongi loved his job a lot. he is his own boss, and puts in hours in the studio when he needs to, not the typical nine to five most people go for. 

“and i never know how to fix things…i’m just…bad at it.” he shrugs. “so i thought, from then on if i could have something less committed, someone who wouldn’t curse at me for not texting back or not liking their posts on instagram…then maybe i could have a relationship without the relationship. you know?”

you nod, looking at his side profile as he stares out the window. you get it now. his cold demeanour at times, his nonchalance, isn’t for everyone. and yes, he isn’t the best at noticing things, like how you’d completely fallen for him months back, but it doesn’t make you feel any different. 

“i see.” your lips form a pout as you pause in thought. “what if it just wasn’t meant to be?”

“if you bring up my rising moon water sign or whatever-”

“i’m just sayingggg,” you drag it out and he chuckles, “sometimes you like someone but your idea of love doesn't match?”

“idea of love?” he turns to you, “love is love.”

“true.” that stupid grin on his face is contagious. “i’m saying, that sometimes it just doesn’t work out because you don’t understand each other. your old partner’s love language might’ve been quality time, and your busy schedule made them feel unsatisfied.” 

“right. so.” yoongi shakes his head, shrugging. “doesn’t change what i said. it’s too much drama.” 

you open your mouth to speak, but stop yourself, instead smiling and nodding. 

yoongi notices, and scratches the back of his neck, “sorry, i’m being defensive again. i told you, i’m not good at this.”

“it’s funny, you keep saying that.” you wrap your arms around yourself, suddenly feeling the chill. “but haven’t you been doing typical relationship stuff already? you pick me up from work, you cook for me, call me just to talk, we watch movies together, you let me tell you about the books i read, you rant to me about the artistes you work with…it’s basically a relationship. just without commitment.”

yoongi thinks about it.

“even that part,” you chuckle, “i mean i dont know about you but, i haven’t been with anyone else ever since we started this.” 

he swallows. “me neither.”

you try to fight a grin. “well then. that’s commitment, isn’t it?”

yoongi’s turns back to the view and you think maybe you’ve annoyed him again. 

“we don’t have to label it, if that makes you happy.” you say quietly, shrugging one shoulder when he looks at you. “we don’t even have to continue it…”

yoongi steps closer, carefully shortening the gap between you. he runs the back of his fingers lightly over your cheek. “but will that make you happy?” 

your heart feels like it just dropped to your stomach at the unexpected question. his hands find their way to your waist, wrapping around them and holding you close to him. “me? i-”

yoongi rests his forehead against yours, shutting his eyes as if letting his feelings in pains him. “i want…to make you happy.” 

you don’t know what this means, but the words coming out of his mouth feel foreign to you. this is a man who’s just spent the last five minutes explaining why he doesn’t do relationships but is he now, confessing? 

“i…” he starts, then stops again. “i can’t stop thinking about you. this last two months have been torture. i couldn’t see you, couldn’t talk to you, couldn’t hold you in my arms.”

“yoongi, what are you-”

“do you know how much it hurt hearing you cry that night? i felt like an idiot the next morning.” yoongi confesses, opening his eyes and looking at you now. “i didn’t want to hurt you anymore, i knew i couldn’t commit to anything more than what we were…so i thought i’d let you go.” 

“but fuck, was i an even bigger idiot for that.” he laughs at himself. “i missed you so much you even showed up in my dreams.”

all you can do is stare at him, barely registering what he’s saying to you. 

“so…what are you saying?” you ask, heart hammering in your chest. with the way he’s holding you against him, you can feel his heart rate rise too. 

he gulps, biting his lip. “i’m saying…i think i like you too.”

your eyes all but light up, in shock at first, then your face crinkles into a huge grin, “what?”

he shuts his eyes, groaning as heat pools in his cheeks. “i like you. and i want us, this to be…something. officially”

you wrap your arms around him, studying the shy smile on his face and the way he avoids eye contact. “you really do suck at this, don’t you?”

his brows furrow slightly. “i thought that went well.”

“why did you ramble about not wanting another relationship, then tell me you like me back?” you tilt your head. 

he wets his bottom lip at the way your eyes look up at him. “maybe i didn’t think that through. but i wanted you to understand why i didn’t want us to end up dating…and i want you to know that despite all of that, now i’m willing to give it a shot. with you.” 

your eyes get glossier and you blink incessantly. “yeah, you suck.”

he smiles down at you. “i guess you’re going to have to take the lead.”

you look at him seriously for a minute. “are you sure about this? if it’s not what you want, we don’t have to…i’m okay for us to go back to how we were.”

“you said it yourself, we were already acting like a couple before,” yoongi says. “and i think, adding a label to it won’t make much of a difference. not when our feelings are mutual. hm?”

you grin up at him, the most adorable smile ever. 

“so?” he raises a brow. “would you like to be my girlfriend?”

bitting your bottom lip, overcome with so much glee you could burst right there and then, melting into his arms. 

–

“you know this means we have to hold hands when we walk down the street?” 

you lie in his bed, fresh after a shower, wearing one of his shirts and your leftover shorts. yoongi comes over from where he was drying his hair, settling for the spot next to you, resting on his side, head on his palm. “been trying to do that since forever.” 

“and i can come over anytime.” 

“mhm.” he rests his free hand on your middle, leaning in to kiss you. “you can stay here.”

“can i hard launch on instagram?” 

he makes a face. “not big on that.”

“please? it’s a private account.” you jut out your lower lip, and he hates how it’s working. “i just wanna show off my hot, sexy producer boyfriend.” 

“in that case yes.” he grabs your chin, pressing his lips to yours, forcing them apart for a heated kiss. “make sure everyone knows you’re mine.” he whispers against you. 

“am i?” you tease, gently brushing your lips against his, breath hot against him. 

“you’ve always been mine, haven’t you?” he kisses you slowly, teasingly, while his hand slides down south, touching you over your panties. “always so good to me, always ready for me.”

you let out a tiny whimper. he brings his hand back up, to your chest, pushing his shirt up and exposing your breasts. sighing in content, he presses gentle kisses against your breasts, riling you up until he rolls his tongue against a nipple. 

“did you think about me at all in the last two months?” he asks against your skin, moving to your other breast and taking it in his mouth.

your back arches, fingers grabbing on to the back of his head. 

“did you?” he repeats, pulling away to look at you. half-lidded eyes, red lips. 

“all the time.” you admit quietly. 

his fingers grab the flesh of your waist in an attempt to control himself. “yeah? and what did you do about it?”

“cried myself to sleep?” 

you chuckle and he breaks into a laugh, pressing a kiss to your temple, then lands a smack to the side of your hip, making you yelp. you shift your body to hug him, and he tugs your leg over him, sighing into the hug. 

“i thought about you alot.” you say, leaning back against the pillow. “thought about your voice, your kisses, your hands all over me…”

“show me.” he whispers.

and he swallows the dryness in his throat as his eyes trail after your hand which slides down your smooth skin, legs separating and moving your panties to the side before your fingers rub over your clit. 

your face burns under his stare, you’d never done this before, touched yourself in front of him. his eyes are hooked on you, grabbing on to the thigh closest to him and angling your leg up for you to slip your fingers in yourself. 

a strangled noise comes out of you, and his dick twitches in his sweatpants. 

your soft whimpers distract him from your movements, and as soon as his eyes land back on yours, he leans in to press a gentle kiss to your cheek. his hand remains on your inner thigh, rubbing the skin, and you wish he would touch you. 

“look at you,” he growls, “don’t even need me.”

“need you-” you whisper, fingers slowing down. 

“do you?” he teases, caressing your inner thigh before he lands a slap on it, making your legs tremble, hand pulling away to grab his wrist. “who said you could stop?”

you protest when he tugs his hand away, “i want you to do it.” 

a smile tugs on his lips, and he lets you guide his hand exactly where you want him. “you want me to what?”

“touch me.” you whine. “please yoongi.”

“so spoiled.” he comments, kissing you on the forehead just as his fingers make contact with your folds, running over them tenderly, then rubbing slow circles over your clit, taking your silence and heavy breaths as a sign of approval. 

you feel the increasing wetness around your entrance, a growing need to have him fill you up. but you know he won’t make it so easy. three fingers enter you, staying in place till you catch your breath, his sharp eyes watching you intensely. 

no sooner than when you lock eyes with him, does he start his work on you, not bothering to start with a gentle pace. he knows what you like, and what you can take. the squelching as his fingers move in and out of you has you heating in embarrassment, but it only fuels his need. 

his fingers curve, and your lower body arches, taking your breath away with the need for more. your thighs start to close in, and he hooks his leg over your right leg to keep them apart. 

“mmf- fuck-” you huff out, clawing at his arm. 

he swallows your curses with his mouth over yours, kissing you gently, a contrast to his movements down south. your mouth falls slack as you start to see stars, and yoongi sees you to the end, fighting the ache in his arm to bring you to your high, till he’s coated in your release. 

your hips twitch as you let go, feeling him pull his fingers out as you catch your breath. 

moments later, you feel him move away from your side, and his hands on your knees, pulling your legs apart to look at you. 

you peek at him, feeling heat creep up your cheeks. 

he glances at you, then smirks, pulling your soaked panties off. “always so messy.” he teases. 

you bite your bottom lip in a smile. “who’s fault is that?”

he shrugs, watching you push yourself up and pulling him down by his shirt to kiss him. your hands travel up his body and he hums as you shove the fabric up and pull it over his head. your kisses go down south, from his neck, down his body and right down to the hem of his sweats. 

as you pull it down, exposing his length, yoongi stops you with a hand on your wrist. “what are you doing?”

“returning the favour,” you say obviously. 

he frowns. you made it clear early on when you started fucking that you didn’t want to do blowjobs. and yoongi never cared for it, he’d much rather be inside you anyways. 

“i thought you don’t do-”

you grab the base of his shaft and press a kiss to his tip, making him twitch. “i make exceptions for my boyfriend.”

yoongi slides the rest of his sweats off and sighs, “well i guess i won’t say no.” 

you take your time with him, covering each part of him with a kiss before letting him in your mouth. yoongi seethes the moment you take him in, the warmth of your mouth a new feeling for him. 

you bob your head against his hips, taking all of him as you watch his eyes fall shut. yoongi’s hands find their way to your head, bringing your hair up into a ponytail in his fist. “fuck y/n, you’ve been holding out on me.”

“hm?” you hum and he curses again, this time bucking his hips into you. 

when he opens his eyes, they meet with yours, but his is full of lust, and the power dynamic shifts as his grip on your head tightens, guiding you to move in sync with his hips as they meet you halfway. 

you protest when it gets too rough, and he mutters a lazy apology, quickly switching back to a gentler pace. barely catching his breath, yoongi focuses on the way you devour him, but the obscene image alone could bring him to his high. he tugs on your hair to slow you down, groaning when his cock leaves the warmth of your mouth. 

you look up at him quizzically, and he simply guides you back onto the mattress, hovering over you. “sorry baby, but if you keep going, i might not even make it past the next five minutes.” 

yoongi swallows your laughter with a heated kiss, lips moulding into yours, hungry and urgent. an ache forms down south and yoongi’s cock twitches when you wrap around it, wanting to guide it inside you. 

he swats your hand away, tutting. “i thought you liked this part.”

heating up, you remember telling him how much you enjoyed the foreplay, sometimes even more than the actual sex. he’d never forget such a revelation. 

“i do.” you admit shyly, “but i want to feel you inside me already.” 

yoongi heaves out, leaning down for a heated kiss before whispering against your lips. “you’re gonna be the death of me.” 

he shifts to his knees, dragging you closer, hooking his arms under your knees, angling your hips a little off the bed. lust takes over his gaze as he looks at your bare form, cunt wet and spread out in front of him. angling himself over your folds, he looks into your eyes as he slips inside, staring intently at the way your mouth parts and pleasure seeps through your expression. 

you lean back into the pillow, eyes closed as you concentrate on how it feels. his hands drop down to where your hips and thighs meet, keeping you close as he slips in and out of you, gentle and intentional. 

an electrifying buzz flows through his veins, something he’s never felt before. it makes his fingers dig into your flesh, the feeling intensifying each time you whimper as he pulls out and slips back in. 

“baby,” he whispers, and it makes your heart flutter. 

turning back to him, you manage a small smile, and he feels the walls around his heart disintegrate. the fog that’s plagued his mind the last two months is finally clearing up. how he ever let you walk out that door, he’ll never know. but he knows now that he’s never going to let that happen again. 

how was he ever so blind to not realise how you made him feel? he should tell you that, he thinks. his words have never failed him when he’s writing lyrics, or producing songs. but this is where he falls flat. maybe one day he’ll figure out how to tell you exactly that without fucking it all up. 

your hands reach out for him, craving his skin against yours. yoongi leans forward to wrap around your middle, lifting you off the bed and into a straddling position. now, face-to-face, you trace a finger over his cheek as he holds you close. “i love you.” the words leave your lips so easily. 

you can tell it took him by surprise, and you don’t expect him to say it back. not now at least. but he shows you his response in the way he crashes his lips into yours, devouring you as his hands roam your body while your hips roll against him. 

his kisses travel down your neck, past your collarbone and towards your chest where your back arches at the slightest contact of his tongue against your sensitive buds. his grip keeps you steady, and when your hips stop moving against him, focusing on the attention he’s giving you. a soft sigh escapes you, and he tears away from your body to look at you. 

tucking stray hairs behind your ears, yoongi urges you to continue with a roll of his hips. as you do, he leans back with his palms steadying him, watching you ride him. while confident at first, you start to heat up under his intense stare as his eyes travel down your body, to where you’re joined, and back up again. you let out a nervous laugh, hands reaching out to cover his eyes and he chuckles.

swatting it away, you let yourself fall against him, wrapping your arms around his neck, and resting your head against his. “why so shy? let me see you.”

you resist when he tries to pry you away. 

“you’re beautiful, you know that?” he says, not in a teasing tone he usually takes.

you slowly lift your head, leaning your forehead against his. “you have to say that, you’re my boyfriend.” 

he plays off the tingle in his chest when you mention boyfriend. “you’ve always been beautiful. even before you were mine.” 

the last sentence surprised even yoongi himself, still feeling a little odd about saying something like that. claiming you as his. “yours.”

a tense silence lingers as you stare at each other, breaths heavy, skin sticking to each other. “yeah.” yoongi finally says, grabbing your waist and shifting you back onto the bed. 

his hands roam up your thighs, over your tummy, breasts, up your arms, linking your fingers together as he rests his weight on top of you, hands above your head. “mine.” he whispers against your lips, hips thrusting into you at a steady pace. your breathing picks up, soft whimpers leaving you each time he bottoms out. 

your hands get clammy, loosening your grip when an intense buildup takes all your focus away. yoongi showers you with kisses, his low voice whispering sweet nothings into your ear. 

“you feel so good-” a strangled grunt follows and you know he’s close. 

you look up at him, half-lidded eyes, and he could cum just by the sight of you. “yoongi…” you whine, the sound so heavenly he wants this feeling to last forever. 

“yeah baby?” 

his hips slam into yours and you let out a cry, breathless. “i can’t-”

“i know baby, i know.” his voice rings in your ears, and he frees your wrists from his grip, allowing you to wrap around him as he steadies himself on either side of you. your hands rake through his hair, pushing back the strands sticking to his face. “feels good huh?”

his lips hover dangerously over yours as his hips start to twitch. your legs hook over his back, letting him deeper inside you each time. “i’m gonna take such good care of you,” he whispers, lips touching yours teasingly. 

you can only mewl in response, eyes never leaving his. yoongi locks in the moment he feels you tighten around him, parking his thighs under yours and going at a steady rhythm. he watches the way your body reacts, breasts bouncing with every thrust, mouth parting and fingers digging into his back. “yoongi.” you call out gently, but urgently.

“you gonna cum for me baby?” he coos, feeling the buildup in his own core. he can only last for much longer. 

with a gasp, your back arches as the tension in your core snaps, sending intense waves of ecstasy flowing through you. thighs shaking around him, and feeling your warm walls convulse around his cock, yoongi manages one last deep thrust before bursting own release inside you, hips twitching as his moans mix in with yours. 

with whatever strength he has left, yoongi continues to roll his hips against yours, milking out every bit of pleasure he can, lips pressed against yours. your legs continue to shake each time he thrusts, letting out a soft cry from the sensation.

then your body goes limp, only the sounds of your breathing accompany him as he regains his senses. he hadn’t felt that kind of high in months, and you’re the only one that could ever do that to him. 

yoongi removes himself off and out of you, hissing at the obscene sticky fluid all over himself and you. “that was…”

“intense.” you say, laughing when you finally feel your fingers again. 

he chuckles, lying on his side and you do the same, facing him. “you look pretty.” 

your face heats up under his stare, but a mischievous grin doesn’t leave your face, and he raises a brow. “what?” 

“nothing,” you shrug with one shoulder, “just that i could’ve sworn i heard you whisper something in my ear back then.” 

“really?” he asks, smiling now too as his palm snakes over your side, allowing you to hook a leg over him. “what was it?” 

“couldn’t really make it out.” you bite your bottom lip, still grinning like an idiot. “do you remember?” 

“it’s all a blur,” he mumbles, “who’s to say you weren’t imagining it?”

but the tug of his own lips tell you otherwise. in the heat of the moment, just before yoongi’s lips crashed into yours as he reached his high, you swore you’d heard him mutter three words you didn’t think he could manage without thawing his icy heart first. 

“dunno,” you scoot closer, feeling his thigh sliding in between yours, “sounded pretty real to me.” 

you lean in for a kiss, and he hums. “maybe round two will clear things up? if it happens again, then maybe it was real after all.” 

“maybe it’s always been real.” you say softly and he processes it, watching you quietly as he tries to figure it out himself. “maybe.” 

-

bonus mini-epilogue: 

six months into the relationship and you’ve progressed well beyond your friends with benefits boundaries. it surprises yoongi each time you do something you’ve never allowed during your situationship. this time, it’s nudes. 

don’t get him wrong, he’s thrilled to receive them each time. but you also take joy in sending them to him while he’s at work, and not within reach of you. 

yoongi stares at the picture you sent an hour ago, receiving it mid-meeting and not having digested anything his team had discussed. he leans against the elevator wall, eyes hooked on your bare body as you sit on your knees on his bed, back slightly arched, arms above your head. a masterpiece. 

he almost sprints down the hall and bursts through the doors, surprising you off the couch. 

“yoongi.” you blink, watching him slip his shoes off and throw his keys on the kitchen counter. “you’re home early.”

his eyes look at the oversized shirt you have on, reaching your thighs. “came back for lunch.” he says casually. 

“i didn’t prepare lunch,” you frown, wondering if you’d forgotten a plan to have lunch together. but then he walks towards you with a look in his eyes you recognise. “oh.”

he smirks. “you’re such a little minx.”

“am i?” feigning innocence, you take a step back for each step he takes towards you, till his arm reaches out to tug you. 

“new rule; no nudes before lunchtime.” he hugs your waist. 

“hmm.” you press your lips together. “i think nudes are great any time of day.” 

“not when i’m stuck at work an hour away and can’t put my hands on you.”

“that’s perfect,” you reason, “you have all day to think about what you’d do to me when you get home.”

yoongi heaves out a sigh mixed with a groan, wondering if he should match your energy or save it for tonight. he in fact, has already thought about what he’d do to you. but it would take him longer than he has, already having scheduled a meeting with a record company in three hours. 

“i feel like i’ve been a bad influence on you.” 

“only a little.” you chuckle, leaning your chin on his chest, tilting slightly to the side. “well since you’re here now.”

yoongi smiles. the kiss goes slow at first, then turns hungry while his hands roam over your body to find nothing underneath the shirt you have on. he hums in approval and is about to push you towards the couch, when a low rumbling sound breaks into the moment. 

you stare at each other for a moment. then you break into laughter when he rubs the back of his head sheepishly. “it is lunchtime…”

“you’re so silly.” you sigh, still breaking into giggles. “maybe let’s do actual lunch, and save the fun for later.” 

wiping the tears from your eyes, you let yourself fall into him again, giddy with laughter. yoongi watches you rest against his chest, looking up at him with fondness in your eyes. he can’t help the feeling that overflows from his insides. 

you let yoongi come over at this ungodly hour only after he promised he wouldn’t make you scream. but he barely has to do anything before you start eliciting sweet moans. music to his ears. but a promise is a promise. he presses his palm to your lips when you start to get louder, though he doesn’t stop bucking his hips into yours. “said you wanted to be quiet.” he hushes you.

the low hum of his voice makes your toes curl. a strangled breath comes out when he lets go. 

“can’t help it,” you whisper, biting your lip to stop another whine. 

soft smile tugging on his lips, his black eyes stare down at you. amused. and a little endeared. then his gaze drops to the white lace bra still hugging your chest. he takes a breath, hips slowing down, and traces a finger along the hem of the lace, leaving goosebumps in his trail. “is this for me?”

you huff, brows narrowing like you were offended by his insinuation. did he really think you ditched your looney toons pajamas for a matching set of laced bra and panties? because you did. but you don’t want him to know that. 

“no? they’re my regular set.” 

he chuckles, and you feel your heart rate climbing at the sight of his gummy smile. that stupid smile that caught your attention at the bar all those months ago. the stupid smile that got you into this mess. 

yoongi had caught you staring back then as he brought a drink to his lips, mid-conversation. you play it off, turning back to your friends, hoping he’d forget about it in the next five minutes and you’d get to very casually steal a couple more glances. 

fifteen minutes later, he slides into the empty stool next to yours and orders himself a glass of whiskey. you do a double take when you realise, watching him pay for the drink with a tap of his card. next to you, your friends continue to squabble over something half-drunk, not realising you’d completely shifted out of the conversation. 

“you know it’s rude to stare,” he says, looking ahead. then at you.

“who’s staring?” 

“you’re practically drooling.”

“i-”

he smacks his lips before you get the chance to rebut and sets the glass down, angling his body towards you slightly. he extends his hand out halfway. “i’m yoongi.” 

“y/n.” you take his hand, impressed by the smoothness of his skin. 

“can i buy you a drink?” 

“thanks, but...”

he raises a brow, “boyfriend?” 

you smile, gesturing towards your friends. “i’m the designated driver tonight.” 

he nods slowly, swirling the glass between his fingers and watching the liquid move. “good. no boyfriend.” he mutters before bringing the glass to his lips with his eyes hooked on you. “unless…girlfriend?”

you shake your head gently.

his smile widens gradually, and once again you can’t stop staring. leaning against the counter, he grabs a couple of peanuts and flicks them into his mouth. “so, what is it about me that caught your eye?”

“dont flatter yourself.” you roll your eyes, playing it cool, but it feels as though he has x-ray vision. “i just happened to look in that direction.”

“mm.” his nonchalance drives you mad. his eyes drop down your body, before coming back up to you, and you swear something flashes in his eyes as he does. 

“it’s rude to stare.” you tilt your head as you make your point and he chuckles, looking away for a second. “or is there something about me that’s caught your eye?”

he snaps his gaze back to you, and silence blankets the two of you as you simply stare at each other. 

this man is exactly your type. he’s witty, composed, hair down to the nape of his neck, but neatly brushed as if each strand is in an assigned spot. he also looks like he’d make your eyes roll to the back of your head, which is not the most important thing here, but it’s there for you to think about.

breaking contact first, he downs the last of his drink and gets to his feet. “don’t wanna interrupt your girls night, so how about a drink with me some other time?”

your insides go tingly. you’d already made up your mind of course, but it’s always fun to let them wait. you pout your lips, resting your chin in your palm as you pretend to think. 

he watches you carefully, eyes naturally running across your neck down to where your cleavage sinks in, then back up to your collarbones. his smirk falters ever so slightly in his concentration, tongue snaking out to wet his lips that have gone dry. he’s a man who knows what he wants. he wanted you. 

and he always gets what he wants.

he had you bent over his couch the next time you met, screaming into the cushions till you came not once or twice, but thrice that night. from the moment you let him touch you, he knew you’d be worth his while. he couldn’t get enough of you. 

but he was also adamant on one thing. that you remained only friends. 

so now you’ve officially been friends for six months. friends who have a lot of sex together. and hang out occasionally after. he hated the term friends with benefits so you never called it that. your girlfriends tell you it’s a situationship. but truth be told you don’t care what it’s called. 

because as he stares at you from above, shifting the strands of hair that sticks to your forehead, dick throbbing inside you, you fear you might not be able to keep that promise. 

yoongi watches you carefully, the way your eyes look straight past him, not reacting to anything in a while. “you okay?” 

you blink and he sees your soul return, mustering a gentle smile, nodding. “yeah.” 

“if you’re too tired, we don’t have to-”

“you’re already inside me, yoongi.” you reason. “or if you can’t make me cum, just say that.”

he huffs out a soft laugh. despite his cold exterior, constant sarcasm and often indifference, he’s always been thoughtful with you. or at least, it felt like he cared in some way. no, you remind yourself, just friends. 

his fingers slide around your back, unclasping the bra which lands on the floor with your other clothes. he utters a soft groan of approval, warm hands cupping your bare breasts, fingers playing with your hardened nipples. you suck in a breath and he hums, feeling your cunt tighten around his cock. 

on his knees, yoongi presses down on your thighs as he watches you take all of him, you always do so well. he wants to tear you apart so badly, to hear you scream out his name while you come undone. but he promised not to. not that he cares, he does whatever he wants. but you’d get upset, and he hates when you get upset (at him especially). 

sometimes though, he likes to test that boundary just to see that adorable scowl. while your eyes are closed, focused on the way his dick slips in and out of you, yoongi brings his palm lower down your thigh, till he’s within reach of your core, and rubs his thumb against your clit. he watches you scramble to press a palm to your mouth, lifting your head to shoot him a warning look. grinning, he utters a soft apology before wrapping your legs around him and propping himself on top of you, kissing that frown away. 

hands run up his arms, wanting to wrap around his neck and bring him closer like you always do. but it feels too intimate now, which is a weird thing to say while he’s fucking you. instead, you brush his hair back, and even that feels a little too much, so you awkwardly pull your hands away. 

yoongi notices, grabbing your hands himself and pinning them above your head. he drops his body against yours, hips gaining traction as he watches the way you slowly lose yourself to the feeling. he presses his forehead against yours. too initmate. 

he shifts, to press his lips against yours, but just before your lips touch, you turn to the side and he lands on your cheek instead. you play it off like it was unintentional. but his grip around your wrist tightens, and before you can open your eyes to look at him, his free hand is already gripping your jaw, turning your face towards him. 

his eyes pierces yours, daring you to look away again. and this time he crashes lips to yours, hungrily devouring you. 

his thrusts get quicker as you feel the tension reaching its limit. his hand snakes down your body, till his thumb finds its place over your clit again. he swallows your moans, feeling your thighs clamp down on him, muscles tensing around him. 

“fuck-” he hisses, feeling himself reaching his own high with the pure ecstasy on your face. “that good, princess?” 

you fight a cry, hands fighting to break free but he doesn’t let up. this is exactly how he likes you, writhing in pleasure under him. 

“hm? are you gonna cum?” his own voice strangled, fighting the urge to let go. you nod, looking up at him with half-lidded eyes. “yeah? cum for me.”

a tiny moan manages to escape just as you reach your high, convulsing under his weight. yoongi curses at the sight of you, feeling your warm release around his cock, and the walls of your cunt convulsing around him, the movement enough to make him cum just seconds later, bursting his load inside of you, now mixed with your own.

it takes a while to regain your senses, the low buzz around your head eventually fades away to the feel of his weight on top of you and his soft breathing next to your face. you stop yourself from wrapping your arms around him. he stirs a moment later, leaning in for a kiss which you don’t move away from this time. 

when it’s time to leave just a little after 4am, you sit on the arm of your couch, wrapped in a robe, watching him put on his fancy shows. he always dresses so proper. something you always tease him about, but not tonight. he glances up at you. “you gonna tell me what’s wrong or is this one of those things i have to figure out myself?” he asks, pushing himself up.

you shrug, walking over to him. “nothing’s wrong.”

he narrows his eyes. “if you’re worried about your neighbours i can always-”

“it’s not about them.” you huff, dancing on your toes, eyes stuck to his chest which is at eye level, wondering if you should say it. “it’s about-”

but how do you say it? that you think you might just have a fat crush on him? that you want to be more than friends? that you want this to be more than sex? that more than whatever this is, you want to hold his hand more, go on dates, spend hours talking on the phone about your day-

he lifts your chin up with a finger. “tell me.” his eyes sparkle while he waits, shifting between yours. you fight the urge to run your hand through his hair, pull him into a hug and tell him to stay the night. instead you smile, shaking your head gently. “it’s nothing.”

“sure?” he doesn’t seem to buy it, heaving out a sigh as he tries to read you. “fine.”

he steps out the door, but turns just before walking off and you stumble back. his hand catches you around your waist, and his smirk returns, pressing you against him. “not saying i don’t appreciate the thought or the aesthetics, but…i’d skip underwear entirely next time.”

“goodbye yoongi.” you hiss, feeling heat creep up your face. 

shoving him lightly off of you, he resists, and instead leans in for a gentle and unnecessarily sweet kiss which you sigh into, melting against him. he smiles.

An hour later, and you’re still reeling from the surprise. After dinner, Namjoon retreated back to his apartment next door, one that had been vacant since the night of the raid. Your head continues to buzz. Everything had come to a standstill when the words spilled from Namjoon’s mouth. You were stunned into silence, eyes searching for any hint that he may be joking. But there was none of that, rather, a look of pride blooming on his face as he turned to your boyfriend. Jeon Jungkook, your boyfriend, was his informant. 

⎼

By Jungkook’s request, you’re staying over, but it wasn’t like you were planning on leaving anyway. You’d gotten Namjoon to speak with Hana so she wouldn’t worry when you told her you’d be away for the night. She thinks you’re staying over his place to get some space, which isn’t entirely a lie. But you left out a crucial aspect. Your desire to be proven right about Jungkook flew out the window hours ago. It doesn’t matter that she or anyone else doesn’t know he’s alive. They don’t need to know (and not until Namjoon clears it anyway). The calm night sky rests in contrast to the bright, bubbling city underneath. A collection of lives unfold before you in countless small frames. Each window gives you a glimpse into a stranger’s world, and you realise the beauty of humans living alongside each other, fighting their own battles and hiding behind a mask of smiles and superficial posts. Yellow and red lights line the road below, heavy traffic continuing even at this time of the night. If you listen closely, you can even hear the rumbling of a motorcycle engine and the honks of tired drivers. Safe in your boyfriend’s room, away from the madness, a feeling of content washes over you. The cool wind from the AC leaves goosebumps over your exposed skin, clothed only in one of Jungkook’s shirts. Jungkook steps out of the bathroom after a shower, and catches your eye from across the room. Tossing his towel aside, he walks over and lets you snuggle up to him, practically melting into you himself. “So nice and warm.” you mumble against his shoulder. He chuckles, then brings his finger to your chin, lifting you up so he can land a soft, innocent kiss. Sighing right after, he mumbles. “I’ve missed this.” The light shining through the windows land perfectly on his face, accentuating his features. You brush his hair back to take a good look. There’s a subtle difference about him, a shift in his aura. The smile he now wears is innocent and childlike, as if the part of him that held up a tough front has completely melted away. Your hand comes up to his cheek and he lets his head sink into your palm affectionately. He flashes a smile and you feel yourself getting lifted off the floor, hooking your arms around him in surprise. The couch in the living area has been unfolded into a huge bed, covered in a large blanket, bordered with pillows. Jungkook lets you down gently before turning down the lights. You slide your feet under the covers, taking refuge from the cold, and he joins you soon after, walking back with drinks and snacks from the kitchen. “I bought a bunch of stuff and put it on Namjoon’s tab.” He giggles, leaving them on the coffee table at the side. You can’t stop staring at the way he’s visibly at ease now more than ever before, and at the same time in disbelief that he’s right in front of you. Noticing this as he makes himself comfortable, he pulls you in closer and tucks stray strands of hair behind your ear. “Did you like the flowers?” “I knew that was you!” The sudden outburst has him laughing. “The note at the cafe too?” You huff when he confirms your theory. “I wasn’t allowed to make direct contact, so I did it discreetly. But then my handler found out I’d gone to the cafe, and Namjoon lectured me about it. So I had to stop.” “And then the playlist?” He nods. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of it earlier.” He confesses. Recalling the events of the night, Jungkook can’t help but to smile to himself. “I didn’t know Namjoon was gonna reveal everything tonight.” “It’s crazy,” you say, “I haven’t seen him in weeks. And suddenly he shows up and tells me he needs to talk about the case.” Jungkook scoffs at the thought. “He’s so dramatic.” “You’re pretty close now, huh?” You ask, tilting your head as you think of how much he had hated Namjoon initially. “Yes and no.” Jungkook shrugs when you hit him with a confused look. “It’s complicated.” 

⎼

Jungkook struts down the street, eyeing every alley he walks past. He’d been getting updates from their runners about a man asking questions for the last month or so. Two weeks ago, Jungkook decided to check it out, only watching from afar. He sees the suspect walking with his hands in his pocket, hat covering his eyes, surveying and talking to people in the area. There’s a chance it’s nothing, sometimes people are just curious. But one too many complaints, and it would reach Kyun, which would escalate quickly. So Jungkook takes it upon himself to sort it out. “Hey!” Jungkook calls out, walking up to two figures talking in the dark of an alley a block away from the boss’ club. One of them he recognises, running off with a nod from Jungkook. Jungkook gives the suspect a once over. A mask covers his face, and the hat pulled down over his eyes, but it’s clear to Jungkook he’s not a customer. “Can I help you?” The guy shrugs, shaking his head. “Was just looking for some supplies.” Jungkook nods slowly. “I can get you that. You selling or just personal use?” “Personal.” He says. He nods in the direction where the previous runner had left. “What was wrong with that guy?” “Oh nothing.” Jungkook says. “Just that I could probably get you a better rate. He gets his supplies from me, so either way, it’s the same thing.” “I see.” Jungkook searches his jacket, hands going in and out of pockets only to come up empty. He looks at the man before him, “Shit, sorry man, seems I don’t have any on me right now. Why don’t you come over to our club, I have some there.” The man clicks his tongue, waving his hand. “It’s fine. I’ll just come back another time.” If someone were really desperate for a hookup, they would've taken the bait. The man’s aversion to his offer made him all the more suspicious to Jungkook. As he attempts to walk past, Jungkook’s hand lands firmly on his shoulder. The man is slightly taller, but he can clearly feel Jungkook’s strength. And though Jungkook hasn’t said a word, he knows he’s been made. He takes a step back, eyeing Jungkook. “It’s risky stuff. You might not want to pull on this thread.” “Get your hand off me, kid.” “I don’t know what you’re up to, but I suggest you stay away if you’re not here for supplies.” Jungkook warns him. His body language remains unchanged, and Jungkook’s positive now that he has an ulterior motive. “I’ll let you off tonight. But maybe next time, you won’t be so lucky.” Jungkook turns, and walks off, pausing only a couple of steps ahead. “But if you really do need some, come and find me.” He turns back only a fraction of the way, nodding his head, before speeding off. Once he’s sure Jungkook’s gone, Namjoon lets out the breath he’s been holding.

⎼

As Jungkook predicted, this guy doesn’t spook easily. Anyone who’s ever heard of their crew would suffice with a single warning. But not Namjoon. Two days later when Jungkook patrols down the same route, things looked ordinary enough. He goes on for a while without finding anything suspicious, and figures maybe that his warning did work after all. Lucky for Jungkook, because now he can get back to work. But as he does, he comes across a commotion along the way to the club. It’s not unusual in these areas. One two many drinks, or a line of coke later, and people lose all sense of sanity. Many times, he’s had to step in before someone gets hurt or calls the police. It’s only when he gets nearer to the source that he recognises the woman yelling as one of their own, fighting off three men who can’t seem to take the hint. Instinctively, he runs towards them but pauses just before he crosses the road. Something’s caught his attention. He sees someone else making a beeline towards the fuss, bulldozing his way into the men, and knocking them down like bowling pins. Even from across the street, Jungkook finds him familiar. The hat and the drabby navy blue jacket, it’s him. He’s strong, but he doesn’t fight from experience. He’s too strategic with his moves, clearly trained. It doesn’t take long before the three men give up, stumbling over as they attempt to run off. Jungkook watches his attention shift to the woman after. From a safe distance, Jungkook trails after them as he walks her to the club, stopping at a distance away and waving her off. She turns to give him a kiss on the cheek before rushing inside. Jungkook scoffs, “What a weasel.”

⎼

“This isn’t the first time a cop is sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong.” Jungkook circles Namjoon, eyeing him down in a parking lot of a grocery. “You’re lucky I’m the one standing here.” “Oh yeah?” Namjoon pops open a bottle and chugs some of it down. “Why is that?” “If it was anyone else, you’d already be lying in a pool of your own blood.” Now that Jungkook has seen his face, and right through his cover, infiltrating the gang would be foolish at this point. He never thought his cover would be blown so quickly, before it even started. But his anonymity wasn't the only edge he had. Namjoon had done in depth research about the members, he knows what to expect from each one, and here standing in front of him is one he knows all too well. “I don’t want any trouble.” Namjoon raises his palms. “Can we talk?” “You’re risking your life just for a conversation?” “You look like you’re just a kid,” Namjoon’s comment confuses Jungkook, “do they usually start as young as you do?” “This isn’t an interview.” Jungkook’s walls come up. Something’s off about this guy, and he doesn’t like being around him. “You need to stop, I’m not kidding. These guys, they don’t play, they’re not the usual bad guys you⎼” “So I’ve heard.” “Then you know it’s in your best interest if I never see you around again.” Jungkook leaves it at that, walking away, hoping he’d take the warning seriously. “Hey kid.” Namjoon calls out. “You go to Inha University, right?” Jungkook’s steps slow down, contemplating on turning back, but that would just give him the satisfaction. Knowing that much about him, means he’s an actual threat. At this point, Jungkook knows he’s trouble. But escalating this would mean he’d be dead by tomorrow. Namjoon patiently waits for a response. Jungkook turns back to him, a serious look on his face. “I’m gonna do you a favour and forget what just happened. Leave. I’m serious. If I get word about you snooping around again, I might actually have to kill you.” Namjoon backs off, but not out of defeat. Jungkook couldn’t have given him a better response; he could have killed him right there, but he didn’t. Namjoon even gave him a second chance to do it, and again, he held back. “I guess I can’t give up just yet.” Namjoon mutters to himself. 

⎼

1 week later

The only thing Jungkook hates more than a meddler, is a persistent one. The moment his eyes land on a certain man he remembers telling to stay away, Jungkook knows this guy is going to make life difficult for him. Right after training, as he’s about to mount his bike, Namjoon walks over. The school compound is quiet at this time of evening. With no one around, Jungkook grabs him by the collar as soon as he’s within reach. “What the fuck are you doing here?” “I need to talk to you.” “Do you have a death wish? If anyone catches⎼” “No one else knows how I look like.” Namjoon shrugs, “Unless…”Jungkook averts his gaze at the insinuation. He hadn’t, in fact, told anyone about this guy, or the truth about what happened in that alley. When reporting back, he lied and said the man ran off before he could do anything. The lack of response gives Namjoon a further boost of hope. “As far as anyone can see, you’re just talking to a guy.” Jungkook looks around cautiously. “We can talk in my car?” Namjoon proposes.

“No.” Jungkook’s brows knit together in disgust at the friendliness in his tone. He mounts his bike and slips a helmet on. “Look, Jungkook⎼” “How the fuck do you know my name?” Jungkook pauses before kicking his bike stand up. “Who are you, really? What do you want?” Namjoon sighs. “I know a lot. I know the little blond guy who’s always schmoozing with the VIPs at the clubs is your partner. I know where you go to school, I know your friends. I know you stay at a greek house with⎼” “Enough.” Jungkook’s eyes pierce through Namjoon’s, his mind calculating the chances of this man pulling him into a trap. "Fine.” Jungkook decides, kicking the bike stand and his engine roars to life. “There’s a gym I go to just a little out of the district. Meet me there at midnight in two days.” Namjoon’s smile showcases his dimples, and he steps aside to give Jungkook way. 

⎼

Jungkook exits the gym five minutes after midnight, scanning the area outside to find Namjoon waiting by his car. Heavy steps take him there, scowling at the smile on the man’s face. “Alright, what do you want?” Namjoon chuckles, “Slow down, kid.” “Don’t call me that.” “Fine,” he extends his hand, “I’m⎼” “I don’t really care.” Jungkook cuts him off. “Just tell me what this is about.” Taking a breath, Namjoon goes over his proposal in his head. Knowing Jungkook’s position in Kim’s hierarchy, as one of those at the top at such a young age, he knows it won’t be easy trying to convince him. “You were right about me.” He says, “I’m not looking to buy.” Jungkook shuffles a tiny step back, straightening up, arms folding over his chest. “Thought so. Let me guess, they’re launching another investigation on Kim.” Namjoon nods, but the smile on his face just moments ago no longer there. “You’re a detective aren’t you? You’ve done your research. I’m sure you know people have tried. Time and again Kim has gotten away. What makes you think this time will be different?”

⎼

A movie plays softly in the background while Jungkook retells the story. As he talks, your interest grows, now sat up and facing him with your back to the television and the covers wrapped around your body. He laughs at you. “Look at you,” he taps your nose. “What happened next!” You whine, begging him to go on. Jungkook leans back against the couch and sighs. “I thought about it for a long while. Of course, I was mad about Hoseok but I was actually considering the offer, which was crazy. I thought about what it would mean to not be part of Kim’s gang, to not do things I used to do. But I just couldn’t see myself beyond any of that. It was just who I was. So why would I help him destroy the only place I ever belonged to?” There was sadness etched over his face and the tone of his voice. Stories of his past come back to you and you recall why Kim and everyone in that gang were so important to him. They were his entire life. “What changed?” You ask, fully invested in his story. “You.” Jungkook smiles fondly. “I met you.” “Me?” “I’d already turned Namjoon down by the time we first met,” he explains, looking a little shy, “but after we started seeing each other…I started seriously falling for you, and I thought maybe, maybe I could live a normal life. Like everyone else. I wanted that life. With you.” “Jungkook…” “So I called Namjoon and told him I’d take him up on his offer.” He says. “I’d get him info and in return they’d work out some form of immunity. I missed days of work because I was having meetings with him here, giving him a rundown of how things worked. Suga was livid ‘cause he thought I blew him off to hang out with you.” “You were having your meetings here? Oh⎼ so that’s⎼ oh.” It finally makes sense. The address he’d written down in his notebook wasn’t work-related, it was Namjoon’s address all along. Jungkook tilts his head. “What?” “Nevermind, please continue.” You say and he shakes his head. “No no no, I’m not letting you off. Tell me, what were you saying?” He tugs on the blanket, threatening to expose you to the cool air. “I just⎼ it’s kind of embarrassing.” Jungkook raises his brow, and you know he won’t let this go till you tell him. “You know how you didn’t like talking about work when we first started dating? But I got really curious and everyone kept hinting at it. So I kinda snooped around and looked through a little notebook you had in your room. And I came across an address…this address. I thought it would lead me to where you worked and what you were keeping from me.” His brows crease together, “You looked through my stuff?” “I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t have.” Your bottom lip juts out and he pretends to be mad, trying his best to hold back a smile because you look too cute. “You are so…nosey.” He laughs when you simply raise your eyebrows. “You’re not mad at me?” “I guess I would’ve been back then. But now, it doesn’t really matter, does it?” “Guess not,” you say, looking down, “all this while…you were just meeting up with Namjoon.”

He nods, “Yeah. Once his team had a solid plan, it was initiated. I didn’t even know what most of it consisted of. He said it needed to be as natural as possible, so it wasn’t until he was assigned to our team that I saw him again. I didn’t even know he’d take up a job at school.” “Is that why you were so against me being friends with him at the start?” You ask. “Sort of.” Jungkook remembers the exact day he’d seen you talking to Namjoon. “I wanted to keep you away from all of this." “I thought it was because you hated him and you were jealous.” “Oh I did hate him.” He says casually. “What? Just because I agreed to work with him doesn’t mean I need to like him. And please, you would never date a fart like him.” You hit him with a look and he shrugs, reaching out to unroll the sheets you’ve made yourself comfortable in. He grabs you by the thigh and pulls you closer. Then drops his head on your lap and closes his eyes. “So yeah, that’s about it basically.” He mumbles. When your fingers rake through his hair, he hums an exhale. Almost melting into the bed if he could, his body visibly relaxes with your touch. “You haven’t been sleeping well, huh?” His cheek rubs against you when he nods, and goosebumps appear on his skin as you trace your nails on his scalp. You focus on the movie while Jungkook remains in your lap, staying that way for a while. You expected him to doze off like he usually does. But his eyes glazed over, staring into the distance. The smile he had earlier is gone. “What’s on your mind?” Your tender voice soothes him out of his daze. “Just thinking…” his voice is hoarse, “that it’s finally over.” He’s still trying to come to terms with what’s happened, and you can’t imagine what the last month or so has been for him, having to watch his entire world crumble. It’s a complicated web of emotions that he’s trying to untangle. On one hand, he’s free, but on the other, what did it take for him to get here? Even while he spoke earlier, you sensed confliction. “How are you feeling?” You ask, treading carefully. “When you were talking about Kim earlier, I saw that look on your face. And now that he’s…” You swear you see his face muscles twitch at the question, and perhaps his eyes get a little glossier than before. But he blinks the urge to cry away, and knits his brows together. “I don’t want to talk about that.” “Okay,” you trace a finger over his features again, forcing them to relax. You wipe away the tiny puddle formed in the corner of his eyes. “I’ll be here when you’re ready. You can tell me anything, remember?” Opening his eyes, he’s greeted by your own, and he sits up to face you. “Right now, I just want to be with you.”

Warmth spreads to your cheeks. Maybe it’s the weeks of separation that’s got you blushing at his words but the way he’s staring does you no favours. Your breath hitches when he gets close, face inches away and breath hot against your face. He’s greeted with a satisfied hum from you when your lips touch. Fingers cup your jaw to hold you steady. Somehow your hands find their way to his body now that he’s leaning, practically hovering, over you. He all but devours your mouth, tongue fighting for dominance and a soft whimper leaves you when his teeth grazes your bottom lip.

Pulling away, your half-lidded eyes reflect your desire. And it all but fuels his own. Skin burning under your touch, you revel in the way his breath gets caught as your hands slide down his abs, fingers dangerously dancing by the hem of his pants. He’s quick to react, pulling you into his lap so that you’re straddling him, arms resting over his shoulders while his hands roam over your thighs. Jungkook’s body relaxes with a sigh, pulling you taut against him, face buried between your clothed chest. Your head rests against his, and he feels your heart thumping against your body. “Y/N,” his words come out as a whisper, “I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you that night.” His grip only tightens when you try to look at him. “I know, baby. I feel the same way.” You kiss the side of his head. “You’re everything to me.” He says, this time looking up at you. “I’d die if I ever lose you.” “I’m not going anywhere.” You say, lips ghosting over his. “I’m all yours.” Your lips find each other again, and the kiss burns with his ache for you. It’s a feeling he’s still getting used to, one he’s only ever experienced with you. He never thought he had the capacity to love someone this much. Your hips move against him ever so gently, yet it gets you a delicious hum of approval. Abandoning your mouth, he plants soft kisses on your neck, focusing his attention on that sweet spot that has you sighing. The growing tent in his pants starts to bother him and he shifts uncomfortably, only to buck into your instead. You palm his hardness and he breaks contact, letting out a groan and throwing his head back. His growing impatience stops the attention you’re giving him and switches up your positions, leaving you on your back against the cool blankets and him kneeling between your legs. The shirt you’re wearing hovers dangerously just below your hips, but with your legs spread, he gets a good view of your sex, mouth salivating. Jungkook peppers kisses along your inner thigh. Your insides throb with anticipation when you feel his hot breath on your cunt, teasing you with the softness of his lips, till you feel his tongue brushing against your clit teasingly. You grip the sheets at the contact, already feeling the adrenaline rush. Jungkook thinks you’re cute, he’s barely done anything and you’re already holding on for your life. He gets back on his knees, much to your disappointment. This time, he lifts your shirt up and you arch your back to help him, leaving it just above your chest. “You’re so fucking pretty.” He mutters, eyes staring down your naked form. Your teeth sink into your lower lip, feeling the heat rush to your face. It occurs to you how long it’s been since the last time you were together, for you to be embarrassed in front of him. Deprived of his touch in months, that even a simple compliment has you blushing. Rough hands roam your body, starting from your thighs, all the way up to your breasts. Soon his lips join them, leaving the softest kisses all over. You sigh as he captures your right nipple in his mouth, thighs closing on him in response. You can feel the upturn of his lips, smirking his way across to your left. The jerk your body does as his tongue grazes the tip of your nipple has his hands sinking into your flesh. His right hand slides down your body, finding its way to your growing wetness. He plays with your folds and teasingly around your entrance. You spread your legs wider, gripping onto his arm as he easily slips in two fingers. You’re embarrassed of the sounds you’re making, but it’s music to his ears. His fingers move at a good pace, but it’s not enough. “More please⎼ “

“More?” He asks against your skin. You nod. He obliges, letting in two more fingers as he studies your face, eyes falling shut, trying to reach your high. Your hands grip roughly around his arm. “F-faster⎼” He has half a mind to stop, just to tease you a little. But you look too good when you’re chasing your high. So pretty and whiny. Mesmerised by the way your mouth drops open, he quickens the pace, feeling the burn on his arm. Your voice gets caught in your throat when he curves his fingers to hit that spot, and Jungkook feels the warmth coating his fingers as you reach your high, continuing to milk every last drop out of you. You take a while to recover, reeling from the first orgasm in months. Part of you embarrassed it took so little to get you there. When you finally get your sanity back, you open your eyes to Jungkook watching you as he sucks your fluid off his fingers. He momentarily gets off the couch and slips his pants off. You reach out to him, wanting to feel him close to you. He climbs over, letting his weight rest on you. “Feel good?” You nod, “But I want you.” Something dark flickers in his eyes as he gazes into yours. His cock twitches between your bodies and you start to throb again. “Where do you want me?” “I want you inside me,” your hands slip around his cock and he lifts his hips up to make room, “I want you to fuck me.” He makes a slow exhale. Your hand rubs over his tip as the words slip out of your mouth. His eyes shut as he grinds into your hand. Then he pushes himself off, and positions himself between your legs. “Fuck,” he mutters, eyes roaming over you, chest heaving at the sight, “all mine.” It makes your heart skip, and cunt throb with anticipation. His cock rubs against your folds, coating him with your wetness, before aligning with your entrance, carefully watching your face as he lets himself in. A gasp leaves you and your back arches slightly. He goes tauntingly slow just to savour the look you have. “Jungkook,” you mutter his name in a whisper as he fits all of him inside you. He can barely control himself right then, hips bucking against you. He goes slow, allowing you to get used to him before increasing the pace. Your gasps turn to soft mewls, and he keeps a steady pace only to keep hearing the sweet sounds you’re making. 

Jungkook looks divine, even with the scars on his body. Your eyes drop to the one on his thigh, the one he’d gotten the night you were kidnapped. Then to his lower abdomen where Hongjun had shot him. He’d taken a bullet for you, not once but twice. He decided to change his life because he wanted to have one with you.

You love him. You love him. You love him. The change in your demeanour doesn’t go unnoticed . Jungkook slows down, studying you carefully. He meets you face to face, pressing his body gently against yours, slowly pumping himself into you. His arms cage you in on both sides of your head and your legs wrap around him. A gasp escapes you as he rolls his hips into you. “Is this okay?” He asks. When you don’t respond, he breaks his rhythm, worried that he may be pushing you too hard. After all, you’re still recovering. The consideration he shows you further intensifies the feeling bubbling inside of you. “I love you.” The whisper of your words surprises him, and with his body against yours, you feel the rise of his heart rate. If possible, it’s as if the burning in his chest is seeping into yours. He kisses you, warm and gentle against your lips. “I love you too.” Jungkook gets back his rhythm, driven by the pool of emotions in his chest. Your words echo in his mind and a tight knot forms inside him, filled to the brim with his feelings for you. With eyes piercing into yours, it’s impossible to look away. He wants to fuck you senseless, but already he’s feeling the heat in his core. It’s the way your body moves in sync with his. Each thrust meets with the gentle rise of your hips, allowing him to fill you up. He pauses for a beat each time, savouring the warmth of your walls around his cock. And with the lustful way you’re looking at him, he could come undone anytime. Only you could have this effect on him. Jungkook maintains control, grunting each time he looks down to where you become one, pleased at how well you take him. Your hand guides him back to you. Jungkook loses his breath when you force him to meet your gaze. You’re so beautiful. For a moment he falters, thrusts becoming sloppy, and you wrap your arms around him to have him close. He swallows up your moans, your tongue losing in a battle of dominance as he devours you. Your nails dig into the flesh of his back, when you feel that familiar knot in your core. Jungkook keeps his pace steady, hitting that sweet spot over and over again, addicted to the way you write under him, arching your back in anticipation. “I’m gonna cum⎼” you whisper, eyes closed. “Yeah? Cum for me baby,” Jungkook says, against your lips, giving you gentle kisses. His voice reverberates against your neck as he speaks. You open your eyes again, and they’re met with his awe-struck gaze. “Want you⎼ cum with me⎼” You feel it coming, the pressure inside you on the brink of explosion. Your hips buck up to meet his as he continues to slam into you, his hot breath against your ear. Getting sloppy himself, moans leave Jungkook’s mouth as he goes. He wipes the hair out of your face, grabbing your attention so your eyes can meet again. Your gazes lock on to each other and neither can tear away. He wants this moment to last forever. Intertwined with you, making love to you. Jungkook feels himself reaching his high, but something else creeps up his chest, and waters his eyes. “I’m⎼c⎼” 

You lose all senses as the pressure in your core snaps, and your legs tremble against him, fingers scraping his back. Jungkook’s thrusts get sloppy, but he carries on, determined to let you ride out your orgasm. Jungkook curses at the lewd expression on your face and the moans you gift him with. Your walls squeeze around his cock and his own resolve breaks as he cums inside you with a heavy load, moaning right in your ear. His weight rests completely on top of you as he buries his face next to yours, and you let him milk every last drop inside of you. You rub his back soothingly, kissing the side of his head. When he can finally bring himself to face you, you’re greeted with his glossy eyes. “I love you so much.”

⎼

It’s the middle of the night when you roll over, throwing your arm to the other side of the couch bed. But you don’t find what you’re reaching for, Jungkook’s side now empty. The digital clock on the console reads 3am. You usually stir from your sleep at this time anyway. His voice comes from the other side of the room, behind the couch where the dining table is. Jungkook’s talking to someone. But at this time? Sleep still masking your attention, you only manage to pick out a couple of words he’s whispering. “No, I don’t know how to tell her…” Tell you what? It sobers you slightly and you feel a pang to your chest, with a familiar anxiety building inside of you. You sit up on the edge of the bed and  the movement gets Jungkook’s attention. He ends the call right then, and you walk over, tripping over your own feet in the dark. Rubbing your eyes, you reach out to him and he pulls you in. You find the space between his legs and sit on his lap, leaning your body against his. “Baby, why are you up?” He asks quietly. “I couldn’t find you.” You say sleepily and he resists the urge to squish your face. “Why are you up?” “I can’t sleep.” He says, slipping his arm under your knees and lifting you back to where you came from. He climbs over you and to the other side, pulling the covers over both of you. You look at his face, illuminated by the lights from the window. The redness in his eyes, bags under them. “You look so tired.” “I am.” He admits, “But I just can’t sleep. It takes a while.” “What do you do when you can’t sleep?” “Think of you,” he says sweetly, running his thumb over your cheek, “all of you.” “Shut up.” You giggle, getting comfy under the covers. “Something bothering you?” “I just keep getting nightmares from that night.” You let him snuggle comfortably with his head against the crook of your neck, deep breaths taking in your scent. “Tell me.” “The moment I doze off, I’m just back to that night…the chaos…the panic,” he sucks in a breath, “it all comes back to me.” “Did something happen that night? Something you want to talk about?” You can’t understand what’s going on in his mind. A part of him must be relieved to know that the entire operation was a success despite the lives lost. But something tells you there’s something else that’s bothering him. Jungkook shakes his head. “No. Nevermind.” “Jungkook,” you sigh, “maybe talking about it will help.” He presses himself deeper into you if that’s even possible. It’s obvious now that there’s more he needs to unpack before he’ll feel okay. “Whatever it is, we’ll go through it together.” You say. The arm around your body gets heavier and his breaths get even. You continue to rub a soothing hand down his back. “I’ll always be here for you.”

⎼

Namjoon sits at the table with Jungkook, in discussion over something important. So important that you aren’t allowed to be part of it. In the last two days you’ve been here, Jungkook would go over to Namjoon’s apartment to have these talks, but today, he’s decided to have it here instead. You occasionally sneak peeks from Jungkook’s room, looking through a gap in the door. Jungkook picks up the movement from his peripheral and sends you a wink. You smile, then close the door again. One last look in the mirror, and you’re slinging your bag over your shoulder, carefully opening the door so as to not interrupt them, but also making your presence known. The talking stops once you’re within hearing range. “I’ll be back.” You go up to Jungkook and give him a kiss. “Bye Namjoon.” “The car’s waiting for you downstairs.” He says, nodding, then points his pen at you. “And remember, not a word.” “Got it.” You pretend you zip your lips. Having to keep this on the low unfortunately means you’ve got to keep lying to everyone. When you arrive at the apartment, Hana rushes out of her room with a huge smile on her face. “Hey.” She says apprehensively. You almost forget you’d left things a little weird that day. “Hi.” You hug her first, and she sighs in relief, hugging you back. “Everything okay?” “I should be asking you that.” “I’m good.” You nod, and she relaxes, relieved to see you in good spirits. “I needed the space. I feel better now.” “Okay,” she holds your hand, “sorry about the other day. I was insensitive.” “No no, it’s alright. I mean,” you scoff, “I wasn’t in the right state of mind anyway.” “I know but⎼” “Don’t worry about it.” You assure her firmly, wanting to move on from the subject. The flowers Jungkook got you were starting to wilt, looking lonely and sad on your table, so you gave it a water change. After which you start packing a load of clothes, enough to last you a week, into a duffel bag. Wafting through the apartment, the smell of good homemade cooking distracts you, and you leave the packing aside to hop outside. “What’s this?” You ask, smirking as you walk to the kitchen where Hana has made herself busy. “I’m making your favourites; chicken soup and butter prawns!” Her voice goes up an octave, proudly showing off her cooking. She’d always been the better cook anyway, so you don’t doubt its taste. In fact, you’re salivating just thinking about the gorgeous prawns she made last time, and the chicken soup she’s working on now bubbling on the stove, with the rice cooker steaming on the counter behind her. Her face drops when you don’t react the way she expected you to. You don’t even realise you’d been standing there with a blank look. “What’s wrong?” You force a smile. “It sounds amazing Hana. You know I love your cooking.” “But?” But you weren’t exactly planning on staying till dinner. You were so focused on getting back to Jungkook that you’d completely forgotten to tell her that. “I just thought…I’d go back⎼” “Go back?” “To Namjoon’s apartment?” You say carefully. “It’s just that he has an empty place and I think being on my own is actually good for me right now so…” “Oh.” You can almost hear the sound of her heart breaking. The more you speak, the worse her expression gets and you hate yourself for it. Jungkook can wait. You’ll see him again tonight anyways. “But you know what, I can stay for dinner. Not like I have anything else to do.” You chuckle.

Hana perks up just a little. “I didn’t realise you were going back. And so soon.” “Well yeah I just⎼ it’s a nice place and⎼ it’s just good for me⎼ like maybe right now I need⎼” Curses float through your mind as you struggle to find the right excuse without hurting her. But now she’s looking at you confused by your stammering. She knows you too well to know you’re hiding something. “Fuck it.” You groan, running your hand over your face. “Jungkook’s alive. He’s at Namjoon’s place. I’ve been with him for the last few days.” It was certainly not what Hana was expecting, mouth parting in surprise, struggling to process what you just said. 

⎼

“Are you sure?” Namjoon’s eyes pierce Jungkook’s. “You have no idea where Suga is?” “I’m telling you the truth. That night was the last time I saw him. I don’t know where he is now.” It hurts Jungkook to think about it. That the last night he’d seen Suga was the same night he’d betrayed Kim in that alley. Namjoon observes Jungkook for a minute. In his experience, there’s always a chance of a cover up. They’d been going through the names of those arrested, Jungkook helping Namjoon pair their real names with their aliases and identifying those who managed to escape and their threat level. Suga being one of them. “Fine. I believe you.” So he says. “But if we do find him, he is going to prison.” “I know that.” “And if we find out that you’ve been in contact with him, then your immunity is revoked.” Jungkook nods curtly. Turning back to his notes, Namjoon goes over a couple more things before their meeting is done. He piles the papers into a stack and slots them into a confidential file. He glances at the younger man, now zoned out, staring at the centrepiece of the table. “It’s almost confirmed. You have to tell her soon.” “I know, I just can’t find it in me.” Jungkook leans back. “I’ve been agonising over the last two days. How can I burst her bubble like that? She’s gone through so much, and finally we get to be together again. How do I…” Jungkook trails off, as if speaking about it would make reality come quicker. “How do I break it to her that I’m gonna be sent away?” 

⎼

You proudly show off your old phone to Hana. “See? I got it back.” “That’s great.” She smiles, still trying to process the sudden flood of information. You’ve spent the last half an hour breaking your promise to Namjoon. But that doesn’t matter, you’ll deal with him when the time comes. Or maybe he just doesn’t have to know. “But I’m still…are you sure that person is really Jungkook? Not an imposter? Is this all a dream? Am I part of your dream?” Hana yelps when you pinch the flesh of her arm. “Does that hurt?” “Yes?!” “So this isn’t a dream.” Hana looks at you unbelievably. “Okay, you’re back to normal. So this is all real.” “It took me a while too.” You say, sporting a silly smile that she hasn’t seen in a while. “But it’s real. He’s alive. And safe. He’s just been laying low at Namjoon’s place the whole time.” “And all along he’s been…” “Namjoon’s informant.” “That’s crazy.” Hana laughs. “That’s the craziest thing yet. I mean, besides you getting held hostage of course.” “I know.” You stop chewing and cross your arms on the table. “Now, I’m not supposed to tell you any of this so please.” “I won’t tell anyone.” She nods. “Not even Hoseok.” “I promise.” Hana holds out her pinky and you hook yours around it. She looks more relieved to have you back than anything else. “I’m glad he’s safe. I know you’ve been worried sick the last couple of weeks. I love that I can finally see you smile like this again.” A pang of guilt hits you hard. Hana had been with you throughout your recovery and it hasn’t been easy for her, but she tried her best. That was never in doubt. On the other hand, you were less than pleasant to deal with. Even if you weren’t yourself, she didn’t deserve to bear the brunt of your outbursts. “Hana, I’ve been awful to you. I’m so sorry.” You reach over to grab her hand. “I couldn’t control myself. I felt like everyone was too careful around me…but at the same time I hated it when you guys were honest with me.” “I get it,” she exhales. “You were just trying to stay optimistic but we kept shutting you down. I think anyone would’ve been annoyed.”  “Still, I shouldn’t have lashed out like that.” “I felt so bad after.” Hana admits. “I thought you didn’t want to come back because you were still mad at me.” “I was kinda upset but,” you shake your head, “I would never just leave you, Hana. You’re my best friend.” She smiles. “You were right in the end though. About Jungkook.” “I told you so.” Laughter fills the room, washing away any tension that has plagued the house in the last month.

⎼

The cool night air bites at your skin. Jungkook swims laps in the pool, while you sit on the edge, splashing your feet in the water. Past midnight, no one else comes up here, leaving you with the perfect space to get some fresh air. Jungkook appears between your legs, brushing his hair back and wiping the water off his face. He shows off his charming smile when you raise your brows. “You just brought me here to seduce me.” “It’s working though, right?” He chuckles. Jungkook carries you into the warm water, and you let your legs hook around him. With his arm firmly around your waist, you lean back, gazing up at the night sky. “I can’t believe rich people have rooftop pools. This is amazing.” “Wait till you see the sauna.” You gasp dramatically and his nose scrunches up. He floats about with you in his arms and your head rested on his shoulder. A sigh of content leaves your lips. “I’m so happy.” His arms seem to tighten around you just then, and after a while he moves towards the steps where the both of you rest with half your bodies in the water. Expression unreadable, he watches you fix your hair and scoots closer when you smile at him. His hand comes up to your thigh and it seems as though he’s building to say something. “What?” You ask, tilting your head to look at him when he looks away. Jungkook shakes his head. “I um…” Seconds go by as he contemplates, then finally faces you again. “Let’s get out of here.” “Oh okay,” you shrug, “we can watch that new netflix release⎼” “No,” Jungkook’s eyes go wide just like it used to when he’s up to something, “not back to the apartment. Out of here, like, out of here.” “You wanna leave? Are you allowed to do that?” “We can go watch a movie at the theatre.” “You’re definitely not allowed to do that.” “Come on!” Jungkook gets out first, water gushing down as he does, and extends his hand out to you. Staring up at him, the consequences line up in your head. There are limitations he has to abide by, and he’d already been caught once. His eyes shine with a glimmer of hope, wiggling his fingers in encouragement. His smile only gets bigger when you grab his hand and trail along after him. A man appeared at the front door upon Jungkook’s call; his handler, apparently. This is the first time you’re meeting the man who’s been assigned to make sure Jungkook’s well taken care of. And that includes ensuring he doesn’t leave the premises unless…

“That’s not an emergency.” He says. From the looks of it, he’s young. Possibly younger or even the same age as you are. He dresses casually, coming up from the floor just below. “No.” You hear him say immediately after Jungkook opens his mouth. Jungkook pulls him inside. “Please. Just this once.” He maintains his resolve but his hands ball up into fists by his side. Standing just a little shorter than Jungkook, it’s comical to see him frowning up at him as if Jungkook’s the one in charge. “Just this once? Are you forgetting what you did last time?” You assume he’s referring to the time Jungkook broke the agreement just to see you. “And I could’ve just left without a word again this time, but here I am, informing you, like a nice person.” “Please.” The young man scoffs and folds his arms. “It’s because my boss changed the security settings, and your biometrics don’t work anymore. That’s why you need me.” “Well yeah, basically.” “Eugh,” he balls his fist up again, “you are so annoying. Why can’t you just stay here like you were ordered to and not get me into any more trouble?” You go over to Jungkook’s side, hugging his arm. “He’s right. Let’s just stay in.” The boy’s eyes slide over to you for a second. But Jungkook doesn’t agree, speaking softly over his shoulder. “No, we’ve been here for ages.” “But I don’t want him to get in trouble. Or you.” Jungkook loses tension as you speak. You’re always so considerate. “But⎼” “Sorry to disturb you so late. We’ll stay in.” You cut him off and the look on his handler’s face softens, though still guarded. Jungkook pulls you aside, speaking in a whisper. “I thought you wanted to get out of here? And watch a movie?” “Not if we have to force our way out.” You reason. “We’ll be able to do all of that after you’re done here. We don’t have to rush things, we have so much time.” The corners of Jungkook’s lips twitch, holding back frustration. “It’s fine.” You say, getting him to look at you again. Behind him, the man clears his throat to get your attention. “I uh⎼ there is one way I can let you go.” He shares a sympathetic smile when you make eye contact, though he stares down Jungkook’s back right after. “I can go with you. I’ll have to drive you to where you wanna go. And I’ll stay with you throughout. When you’re done, I’ll drive us back. That way I have eyes on you at all times.” You look at Jungkook, raising your brows. He’s clear considering the idea, though he doesn’t want to show how moved he is that this young man is actually trying to help him out. 

⎼

“Here.” Jungkook holds the ice-cream an inch away from your face. Each time you lean forward, he pulls it back, till you move too quickly and eventually have ice-cream on your nose. He giggles, wiping the dessert off your face when you glare at him. In his peripheral he catches sight of an unwanted presence nearby, and his attention separates from you momentarily. “Stop.” You shove him lightly. “Look at him, lurking.” “It’s his job.” You remind him and he rolls his eyes. “You should be grateful. He could’ve just ignored us and went back to bed but he wanted to⎼” “Okay.” Jungkook’s lower lip juts out. He continues eating his ice cream while sulking. Jaemin ⎼ you found out his name ⎼ had helped you out of the building and drove you to a nearby drive-through for ice-cream. Though you felt weird about it, Jungkook asked if there was a secluded place he could drive to. And now you’re at a peaceful picnic spot atop a hill, overlooking the entire city with no one else in sight. “You have to admit, it’s a great view.” Jungkook rolls his eyes once more and you tug on his ear. “Ow⎼ yes okay⎼ yes!” He rubs his ear when you let go, “Stop being a baby.” Jungkook glances at Jaemin, then leans in. “I have an idea. If we start having sex right now, I bet he’ll⎼” His laughter fills the night when you shove him once again, keeping himself steady with his other hand. You rest against him, hooking your arm under his and closing the gap between you. Your eyes settle on a tall building in the distance, a string of bright lights shining along the edges. It overshadows Namjoon’s apartment out of sight just behind it. “That’s a pretty one.” “That one’s prettier.” He points to a lavish mansion sitting elegantly atop one of the adjacent hills. “Okay fancy pants. A month at Namjoon’s apartment and you’re already acting like a spoiled rich kid.” Jungkook clicks his tongue. “I’m just saying, I’ve been saving up all these years. Better be nice to me or you’re not invited.” You scoff. “Oh you’re too good for me now huh?” You pinch his side and he flinches, dropping whatever’s left of his cone, watching as it rolls down into the darkness. He glares at you and you press your finger to your lips to hide a smile before breaking out into laughter, Jungkook joining you. “Sorry.” You say between giggles. 

He dusts his hands off before putting his arm around you. “You’re definitely not invited.” Your cheeks burn from smiling too wide, a feeling you’ve missed. Comfortably resting on him, your hands find warmth under his jacket. “Can’t wait for you to be free. Where are you gonna stay?” Jungkook swallows the lump in his throat. “I don’t know yet.” “You haven’t thought about it?” You ask mindlessly, playing with his fingers. “What’s the point of having a girlfriend if I can’t crash at her place?” It makes you giggle and he kisses the top of your head. “You’re welcome anytime. But on a serious note, it might not be cool if you stay with us long term.” “Kicking me out already…” You punch him in the chest and he jokingly whines about how violent you’re getting. An idea brews in your mind and you chew on your bottom lip. “Maybe…we could get a place together?” Maybe you were just imagining it, but you felt him stiffen up. Looking up, you see him staring at the view with a complex look, adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows. “Mm.” The indifference in his reply stings. It was a suggestion you thought he’d be on board with when you’ve basically been living together the last few days. “You can say no if you don’t want to.” “It’s not that,” he sighs, “there’s a lot of things that…” “What?” The next few seconds of silence stretches out into what feels like forever. Leaving you with the same nervousness bubbling inside the pit of your stomach you used to feel; he’s keeping something from you. Jungkook’s internal frenzy is cut short ⎼ and saved ⎼ by Jaemin, who calls out to the both of you. “Let’s head back. We’ve been out long enough.” Your bodies slip away from each other and Jungkook nods at him before turning to you, looking up at him with a vague expression on your face. He smiles to ease the tension and leans forward, lips pacifying your worries for a moment. “Let’s talk about this next time, okay?” He whispers. You push the negative thoughts far back, not wanting to ruin the night.

⎼

Over the next two days, Jungkook had been adamant about getting his way with Jaemin. Even when you insist on staying home, he shakes his head, bothering the poor handler every few hours about the next time he can leave the apartment. You sit by the kitchen island, staring at the glorious view of his back while he cooks a nice meal for the two of you. The only thing that had stopped him from bothering Jaemin was putting your foot down and threatening to leave. Reluctantly, he finally left the boy alone. Jungkook places a steak on your plate, lips slightly jutted as he continues sulking. “Thank you baby.” He sighs, placing the pan back on the stove and getting his own plate. “We could’ve had steak at a proper restaurant.” He mutters, taking the seat across. “But I like your cooking better.” The corners of his lips twitch a little. His cooking has always been good, so you don’t expect anything less. You hum at every bite, placing your hand to your chest with gratitude, and he watches you fondly, smiling wider at every little expression you make. That night, he tucks some stray hair behind your ear while you’re asleep. The covers are pulled all the way up to keep you from the cold. His fingers graze over the skin of your cheek and you stir, smacking your lips together, then breaking into a light snore. The front door plays a jingle as it unlocks. He turns his head in the direction of the hallway which reflects a soft glow from outside. He’s careful not to wake you as he slides off the bed and shuts the door safely and silently. In the dark, he trots over to the long dining table where Namjoon sets his coat over one of the chairs, undoing his tie. “What’s up? Why do you look like that?” He asks when he turns to a dishevelled Jungkook. “I haven’t told her.” Jungkook stands in front of the window, right next to Namjoon, who’s looking at him from the side. “You’re gonna have to soon. I just submitted the paperwork.” “It’s not that easy.” Jungkook says softly. “You want me to do it?” Jungkook had considered it. Maybe hearing it from Namjoon would make it seem more necessary, and that would hurt less. But that would be cowardly of him. “No. I think that might be worse.” “Just lay out the facts.” Namjoon says. “And tell her now before it’s too late. At least she’ll get time to process everything.” “I know. I’ll tell her tomorrow.” “Alright.” Namjoon slaps him on the shoulder. “Let’s go over the details.”

⎼

“What⎼ how?!” “I’m sorry!” Jungkook whines, and you snatch the knitting from his hands. The tangled yarn sticks to the needle, with the remaining yarn unravelled all over the floor. “I’ve never done this before!” “But how did it get to this?” Jungkook drops himself on the couch, “You said this would be relaxing.” “Yeah if you do it right.” You mutter as you try to free the needle. “This is literally impossible. You weren’t listening to my instructions were you?” “No, every time you talk all I hear is the melodious sound of your voice luring me into your world.” Your palm lands harshly on his thigh and a high-pitched yelp escapes him. The amusement on your end fades away when instead of retaliating, Jungkook folds over, clutching his thigh while letting out a guttural groan. Panic sets in when you realise where your palm had landed ⎼ right on his wound. Your hands slap over your mouth with a gasp, dropping the tangled web of yarn to the floor. “I’m so sorry!” You continue to watch with horror as he buries his head into his leg. The amount of guilt you feel is indescribable, you couldn’t imagine how much it hurt. But the guilt slowly dissipates when seconds later, he breaks character, raising his head and ending the dramatics with his bunny teeth making an appearance. “Just kidding.” For a moment he regrets his decision, the dead stare you’re giving him making his stomach drop. “You. Asshole.” Picking up a cushion, he shields himself from your attacks, and you hear his laughter coming from the other side of the cushion. You manage to pry it away and his eyes widen though his grin remains, and he blocks your next attempt, grabbing your wrists in time. Leaning in, your face hangs just inches away from his bunny smile. “You’re surprisingly strong.” He comments. “I’m angry.” “Cute and angry.” You growl for effect and he chuckles. Though he’s holding on tight, you’re no match for him. He easily lowers your wrists and pulls you in closer, but you resist. “Listen,” he laughs, “I have something to tell you.” At first you think he could just be messing with you to get you to stop, but playfulness switches into a genuine smile as he speaks. Your body relaxes out of interest and you fall back to the couch, letting your legs drape over his. He laughs at the speed of your transition, now looking at him with curious eyes. “I spoke to Namjoon,” he starts and you nod, “he says we can tell the others now. So if you want to, we’ll have them over for dinner or something.” “Oh my god, yes!” You burst to your knees, arms folding around his neck. “Let’s do it! When?” “Whenever you like.”

“Okay, we need to prepare though. Should we surprise them?” You muse over the thought. “Your choice.” Jungkook shrugs, picking up the knitting materials off the floor and throwing them into its original box. “Oh come on,” you grab his hands, palm to his cheek, “they’re your friends too. They’ve been worried about you. And I know you’ve missed them.” Jungkook smiles, “Yeah, I guess I have.” “They’ll be ecstatic!” You clap your hands. “So how do you wanna do it?” “Honestly…I think I’d just like a nice dinner with everyone.” His eyes glaze over. “I feel like we’ve never done that before. We’re always doing our own things. Either that or, we’re fighting. Dinner would be good.” “Aw.” You press your lips to his cheek. “That’s so sweet Jungkook.” “Also, I can’t wait to kick Hoseok off his high horse.” “And there it is.” You roll your eyes and shove him. “Well what about you?” He scoffs, “Didn’t you say no one believed you a week ago, and that you can’t wait to rub it in their faces.” You smile sheepishly. “Fine, so we’ll both rub it in everyone’s faces.” “Sounds good.” Jungkook leans in till his lips find yours. “Let’s go do some grocery shopping.” You tilt your head. “Did you run this by Jaemin?” “Ugh, I hate that you know his name.” Jungkook winces. “No. But I talked Namjoon into giving me some freedom befor⎼” “Before?” You watch him freeze for a moment, then shake it off. “Before I go crazy here.” You nod slowly, a little suspicious over his fumbling of words. But he carries on normally, shoving the box of knitting materials aside so he can go get ready, motioning for you to do the same. 

⎼

Covered in black from head to toe with a hat pulled all the way down, covering his eyes, Jungkook drapes his arm around you as you walk around a lesser known part of the city. Every time you glance at him, or see his reflection on the window of the shops you pass by, you snicker. Only the bottom half of his face is visible, almost like you’re walking with a celebrity. A large supermarket comes into view and you go over the list of things to buy in your head. But as you walk by, his arm stops you from turning into it. Instead, the two of you walk on by. “Wasn’t that the…” “Yeah we can order online and put it on Namjoon’s tab like I always do.” He waves it off. “So then why did you⎼” “So we can go on a proper date. Ours got cut short last time.” He says in a matter-of-fact tone. “Shall we go to a museum? Bookstore?” “I thought you hated museums.” “You love them though?” He asks lifting his chin so he can see you better.  He slows down when he notices you do the same, face twisted with concern. “What if you get in trouble? We’re not supposed to be out and about.” Jungkook sighs. The arm around your shoulders drops down your back and you feel his fingers snaking between yours. “Didn’t I say I got Namjoon to ease up on the restrictions?” If you were being honest, a teeny tiny part of you doesn’t believe him. He tilts his head to meet your gaze and you see the wrinkles forming around his eyes as he smiles. “You can call him and check if you want to.” Then again, Namjoon had given him an access card which allowed him out of the building, one which he passed on to you to keep. Jungkook is sneaky but there’s no way he would’ve gotten a card without Namjoon knowing. “You can stand there all day thinking about it,” Jungkook shrugs, leaving you behind. He turns as he walks and you can only see his smile as he goes, “meanwhile, I’m gonna check out the new historial arts exhibition⎼” He breaks into laughter when you charge at him head on, pressing your head against his side and squeezing his arm against your body, sparkling eyes begging him to take you there. 

 ⎼

“You always choose the worst ones.” Your brows crease together just as you bring the spoon to your mouth. “You’re literally eating cotton candy flavoured ice cream.” Jungkook rolled his eyes and complained when you dragged him to yet another ice-cream place on the way back, but easily gave in when you mentioned getting ice-cream on dates is our thing. He never realised it but it’s true. And he finds it absolutely adorable. A couple of bars stay open down the street and the clinking of glasses, live music, and mindless chatter echo into the night. The faint sounds of their liveliness continue in the distance as you and Jungkook chose a calmer spot further down. “Yours is called Love Potion.” He makes a point. “What the hell is that?” “This is what keeps you wrapped around my finger.” “Oh-ho, is that right?” You both laugh and he moves in to press his lips against yours, tasting the sweet white chocolate mixed with the tart raspberry flavour lining your lips. He hovers close by after. “Mm you’re right, that is good.”  The mischievous glimmer in his eyes heats up your face. You never get tired of this feeling ⎼ of wanting to be with him, even when he’s this close to you. You wonder if this is what having a soulmate feels like. Is he your soulmate? It’s the first time anyone has ever made you question that. And it’s amusing to you how the thought pops up on a random Thursday night, sitting on a random bench by the road. Jungkook’s elbow nudges you gently, “What’s wrong?” Shaking your head, you break into a sheepish smile and feign interest in your ice-cream, swirling the melted parts around in the cup. Jungkook hasn’t seen that smile since the early days of your relationship. “Nothing.” He brings a napkin to your mouth, wiping off residual ice cream. And again, you feel that warmth, wishing he would stop staring already. But at the same time, wanting him to always look at you this way. It’s an hour after the time Jungkook had promised Jaemin to be back. Hand in hand, you walk back to the apartment building, and your smile lights up the night as you go on and on about something he’s only half paying attention to. The longer he looks at you, the heavier his heart gets. The guilt eating away his insides feels like it's about to let everything spew out of him. You’ve been the happiest he’s seen you in forever, and he knows what he’s about to tell you will erase it all away. Your hair dances in the wind and Jungkook watches your back while you look out at the view from a rooftop garden of a nearby subway station, taking yet another detour, and causing an influx of texts from Jaemin who’s tracking his location. Jungkook ignores them. “You really like it up here, huh?” He asks, and you turn with a smile. “It’s nice.” You say, turning back, admiring the pretty infrastructure. “Crazy to think living like this is normal for some people.” “Yeah.” His voice, suddenly appearing much closer, followed by his presence right by your side. Jungkook tries to focus on the lights, how the traffic almost looks like it moves in a rhythm. But his attention drifts back to you. Your chin rests on the back of your palm as you lean against the railing, eyes sparkling as you take it all in. “I’m gonna miss this when we finally get out of this city.” You chuckle, expecting him to join in and make a joke about living here forever under Namjoon’s tab. But it’s quiet on his end. His eyes seem to convey an emotion you don’t think you want to pull the thread on. “You look like you have a lot on your mind.” Jungkook smiles briefly, his light dimming almost as quickly as it appeared. “We have to talk.”

A loaded darkness wraps around his words, and it causes your heart to flip in your chest. It’s an odd feeling you thought you’d forgotten, but with it follows memories of the last year. “Something’s wrong, isn’t it?” You watch him swallow the lump in his throat. “I’ve been meaning to tell you, but I couldn’t find the right time.” “Does this have anything to do with your meetings with Namjoon?” Jungkook nods. “It’s about the case.” “Still? I thought it’s all over.” His fingers dance around yours, as if afraid to make contact. “It is. But…” Your eyes float between his, trying to decipher what’s going on. Inside, you’re bracing yourself for bad news; were they wrong about Kim? Hongjun? Were they alive after all? Has someone escaped from custody? Would someone try to kill you again? Mirroring his nervousness, you wrap your hand around his fingers, “Tell me.” “I’m leaving.” He spits those two words out like it pains him, shutting his eyes right after as he reads the confusion on your face. Your mouth parts as you try to filter out the million questions racing through your mind. “You’re leaving?” You shake your head and a nervous chuckle leaves your chest. “What does that mean? Like…you’re leaving me? Or? You’re leaving the city?” Eyes fluttering open, the distress is evident in his eyes now more than ever. He clears his throat. “I’m leaving the country. Till the case is settled.” “What? The case is settled.” You feel the rush of the blood through your veins. “Right? It’s settled. People were arrested, Kim is dead, Hongjun is dead, they’re all gone so, so, so why⎼” He squeezes your hand and you take a breath. “Not everyone was caught, that would be impossible with how big the organisation was. But yes, our biggest threats are gone for good. But it doesn’t mean I’m totally safe. They’re relocating me till the trial, which could take months at minimum, even years⎼” “Years?” Your voice cracks. “What are you saying? You’re gonna be away…for years?” Jungkook’s face twists in pain. Perhaps he had gone about this the wrong way, he should’ve brought it up gradually, gently. It would’ve been too much for anyone to handle. “You’re not serious.” You say, stilling the air around you. “Wait, is this why you’ve been meeting up with Namjoon so much?” Many different emotions course through your body, your mind finding it difficult to pinpoint what exactly you’re feeling. But it’s right there in the pit of your stomach, bubbling its way up to your chest. First it’s distraught, heart breaking into pieces at the thought of him having to leave, but then it morphs into something else entirely. Why had he kept this from you for so long? There were so many chances he had to break it to you. Your breathing gets erratic with anger. “When did you find out?”

“A couple of weeks ago…” His voice is soft, but you can’t tell if it’s because he’s lost his confidence or if it’s your hearing being overshadowed by the thumping of your heart. “And you kept this from me all this while?” You step back, slipping your hand away. “I didn’t know how to break it to you. I didn’t want to hurt you after everything that’s happened.” “And how do you think I feel now?” The words feel like a gigantic slap against his cheek, and Jungkook stands there out of words, feet frozen to his spot. As if watching his entire world crashing down in front of him, he stands there while you inch away, anguish swallowing you whole. “Wait,” he voice comes out hoarse, “please.” “No, I…” You flinch to stop the tears from dropping, and the sight kills him. You hold on to the railing as your world starts to spin. Looking at Jungkook only made it worse. “I need to go.” Despite your vision blurring from the tears, you don’t stop, even when you hear him call out to you. Only with your back turned to him do they wet your cheeks, and you wipe them away hastily, trying to get as far away as possible. The shrubs surrounding the dimly lit pathway feel like they’re closing in on you and you pick up speed, eventually running out of there towards the exit. 

 ⎼

The resentment on your face was something he hadn’t expected. He knew you’d be devastated ⎼ he was prepared for that ⎼ but he hadn’t anticipated that you’d be mad at him. Enough to leave him there to bask in his own guilt. It takes a minute to process before he comes to his senses. The fog clouding his mind clears up, his hearing comes back and his feet finally move. What the fuck am I doing? He blasts himself, questioning why he didn’t start running the moment you turned your back to him. You’re no longer in sight, disappearing in the direction of the exit towards the subway. He runs as fast as he can, bursting through the doors and down the steps. “Y/N!” Only the empty stairwell hears his desperation. Please. Three floors down, he finds the exit to the subway, opening up to a long corridor, an exit to the road on the right and subway on the left. A handful of people walking by stare at him as he runs out the door. He pulls his hat down and sprints towards the station platform. A high-pitched sound comes from the platform as the train pulls in and comes to a stop. Jungkook jumps over the gantry, and scans the area, looking past several others there to catch the last train. He walks down the length of the train, occasionally bumping into alighting passengers. The lights on the doors light up, signalling it’s ready to shut, and Jungkook runs down the platform, zooming past the cabins while his eyes continue to survey inside. The closer he gets to the end, the harder despair sinks into his chest. Slowing down, a jingle plays as the doors finally shut and seconds later the train picks up speed, metal rattling against the tracks as it leaves the station. Jungkook pants, resting his arms on his head as he takes one last look around. No one. He leaves the empty station and stands by the roadside, taking a deep breath to calm his still racing heart. The silence of the night bothers him, a reminder of the fact that you’re gone. He let you go, heartbroken and hurt. And he’s alone again. 

⎼

Sunlight peeks through the curtains, piercing your dull room with its bright orange glow. Outside, the hum of cars driving past and the chatter of kids walking to school can be heard. You barely slept a wink, and the pillow beneath you lies damp with fallen tears. Pushing yourself up, you trot outside to make yourself a cup of tea. The ruckus brings Hana out of her room, face easing into a smile when she sees you. “Oh hey,” she says, “what are you doing here?” Messy hair, crumpled clothing, and the moment your red, tired eyes meet hers, it was evident something’s wrong. Her face falls, and she’s over by your side within seconds. As her hand touches your arm, you break down, finding comfort in her arms. She runs her hand over your head as your tears wet the fabric on her shoulders. “What’s wrong?” “Jungkook…” you mutter between sobs. 

⎼

“What the hell.” Namjoon barges through the door and sees a deflated Jungkook with his head down on the dining table, Jaemin sitting next to him. “What happened?” “Everything’s fine, sir.” Jaemin stands, holding his palm out. “I got a ping alerting me that you almost left the city.” Namjoon directs his frustration to Jungkook who still hasn’t graced him with so much as a look. “We had a deal, Jungkook. You said you wanted some freedom while you still have time here. And I agreed on the condition that you wouldn’t cause a ruckus or try to take off without telling anyone.” No response. Jaemin glances at Jungkook, then turns back to Namjoon. “I’ve checked cctv footage from last night, he wasn’t exposed, nothing putting him at risk of identification.” “We need to get hold of the footage.” Namjoon presses his lips together and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Already put in a request for that.” Jaemin says. “I’ll get to it now.” He grabs his coat and walks up to Namjoon, pausing to whisper, “He’s had a rough night. Go easy on him⎼” “Thank you, agent. You may go.” Once they’re alone, Namjoon pulls up a chair and looks at the miserable boy before him. Dead eyes, red nose, slightly swollen face. “You look terrible.” Jungkook blinks, finally showing signs of life. He lifts his heavy head and rubs his eyes. “I fucked up.” “I take it she didn’t take the news well?” Namjoon asks, knowing the only reason he would end up in this state is if it was anything related to you. “She was…angry.” He says, bewildered. Namjoon tilts his head from side to side, “I would be too if I were her.” “Then she took off, and I stood there like a coward.” He shakes his head. “She couldn’t even look at me…I’m so pathetic.” “Well.” “If you say I told you so I swear to god I’m gonna punch you in the face.” Namjoon presses his lips into a line. Then his features soften, “Give her time. Think about how shocked she must’ve been.” “But I don’t have time.” Jungkook folds his arms and looks off to the side, voice cracking. “In a week, I’ll be gone. This is all I have left with her.” “Do you want me to speak to her?” Jungkook wipes his eyes before turning back to Namjoon. “Do you think that’ll help?” He shrugs. “I could say it was my idea to keep it from her. Protocol or whatever.” “I don’t care what you say, just please bring her back here.” Jungkook says, head dropping to the table once again. Namjoon sighs, “Why didn’t you go after her?” “I did! But she was gone by then.” Jungkook says. “She must’ve got on the train and went back to her place.” “Is that why I got the location warning?” Namjoon checks the notification on his phone, confirming he was at the station. “I’m surprised you didn’t just hop on the train yourself.” “Yeah well, we had an agreement. And I knew I’d be out of chances if I had gotten on. Didn’t even have a ticket or anything, I jumped over the gantry.” “I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that.” Namjoon looks up at him. “But thanks for honouring our agreement. Once Jaemin gets the footage, I’ll deal with it. And I’ll speak to y/n.” “Thanks.” Jungkook cracks a smile, though he doesn’t look any better than before. “Now go wash up or something.” He shoves Jungkook’s head lightly. “You’re so pathetic you got Jaemin feeling bad for you…”

⎼

After a cold shower, you sink into your bed, trying to find some comfort in the cool sheets. But turning on your side, your eyes make contact with the framed photo of the two of you on your bedside table. You sigh, squeezing your eyes shut. Hana pads into the room, stopping by your bed and offering you a cup of hot cocoa. Eventually you sit up, accepting the drink and taking small sips. “What’s gonna happen now?” She asks, tilting her head. She’d spent an hour sitting with you on the couch, allowing you to let it all out. The news had come to a shock to her as well, and she’d spent the first ten minutes silently holding you while you sob. “He’s gonna leave.” You shrug, stating it like you’re trying to convince yourself more than her. “There’s nothing I can do.” Hana nods, oddly silent. She sits on your bed in thought, pursing her lips with her arms folded, “So…what are you doing?” “Nothing?” You repeat yourself. “I mean, what are you doing here?” She asks, chuckling like it’s amusing. You’ve yet to realise what’s so funny. “You’re telling me that your boyfriend ⎼ the one you spent the last month grieving so hard for because you didn’t want to believe he was gone  ⎼ has to leave the country soon, and you’re here and not spending whatever time left you have with him?” Her question knocks you so hard off your balance that you sober up. “I⎼ I’m just…he should’ve told me sooner. He knew about it and he hid it from me.” “And that’s important right now?” You felt more judged than you’ve ever felt. “Seriously? Who cares? You want to waste time sulking? Have you thought about how he feels? Having to leave everything behind including his girlfriend, who he loves so much he almost took a bullet for?” “He did take a bullet for me.” You counter, as if that’s the pressing issue here. She raises her brows and tilts her head, the sassiest she’s ever been. “Really.” You take a deep breath. Why are you here? Like you said, there’s nothing you can do about it, so why harp on the fact that he kept this from you? You’re wasting precious time right now. When your eyes dart back to Hana, she smiles, knowing you’ve come to your senses. Getting up to your feet and scrambling for your belongings, you mutter, “You’ve always liked him better, haven’t you?” Her smug look waves you goodbye as you rush out, calling the first person that comes to mind to help you get back to Namjoon’s apartment. 

⎼

Jungkook stares up at the ceiling, not having moved from the couch since noon. When Namjoon comes back after a meeting, he shakes his head at the disinterested Jungkook, who only spares him a single glance before going back to zoning out. “Did you call her yet?” He asks. Namjoon huffs. “I’m sorry, I had work to attend to. Your problems aren’t exactly at the top of my list right now.” “Okay.” Jungkook blinks, turning over to face the inside of the couch. Namjoon runs his hand over his face. To not have a comeback for his sarcasm tells him how bad things are. “Look I know you’re upset but you can’t⎼” His sentence stops halfway when the front door opens, followed by the tune it makes. It gets Jungkook curious and he turns to Namjoon who has his eyes set on the door. He gets up, and eyes go wide when he sees you standing there, smiling sheepishly with Jaemin right behind you. “Y/N?” Jungkook perks up. He gets on his feet with a sudden burst of energy and you run into his open arms, pressing yourself against his chest. “Jungkook. I’m sorry.” You say, tears rolling down despite your eyes squeezed tight. He doesn’t hear a word you say, feeling only the tightness in his chest at the relief that you came back. Namjoon nods to Jaemin and you hear the door close. “Sit down Y/N, I’ll explain everything.” 

⎼

It’s been hours since you returned, and Namjoon and Jaemin have since retreated back to their apartments, giving you some privacy. Namjoon had spent some time explaining the move, but much of the details were redacted, not leaving you with a lot. Mostly because the information was classified. “Is this really necessary?” You ask. “Yes.” Namjoon says firmly. “In exchange for his cooperation, we’re offering him protection. Right now, as far as anyone knows, Jungkook or “Ace”, is being held at an out-of-state institution. That’s why we’ve had to keep him here since. If anyone knew he was somehow involved in the whole operation, he’d have a target on his back.” “Kim and Hongjun are dead, aren’t they?” “But there are others. And these people may have connections on the outside that we don’t know about.” You look at Jungkook, sitting idly beside you. “Sort of like witness protection.” “Something like that, yeah.” Namjoon agrees. “But we have enough evidence to tie them to the crimes. We don’t need him as an actual witness. But, we still need to play it safe till the trial.” Jungkook squeezes your hand, “It’ll only be a few years.” “Yeah,” you nod, smiling weakly, “I’ll call you every day.” “No.” Namjoon interrupts almost immediately, eyes wide in alarm. “No calls. We’re going no contact.” Your heart sinks even more, mouth agape. “What? But⎼” “That’s how it works; he’ll have a new identity, new job, new background in a new country.” He says, “He’s not going to be Jungkook anymore ⎼ and for security purposes we can’t disclose to you his new identity or where he’s going. As far as you know, Jungkook’s gone. The last time you saw him was the night of the raid.” You take a deep breath, frustration mingling with the grief in your chest. “And when he comes back in a few years? Won’t that be suspicious?” “In a few years selling the idea that he was held in a different state wouldn’t be a problem. He could say he got out early for good behaviour or something.” Namjoon waves his hand vaguely. “We’ll talk about that when the time comes.” In a different country, living under a fake name with little to no contact with anyone he knows here. You lie next to Jungkook, listening to him talk about the move. You keep your feelings in check, knowing how much more anxious he must be. You go quiet and he glances at you, zoned out. Nudging you, he gets on his side and places his palm to your cheek. “Hey. You okay?” “Oh yeah, sorry.” You smile, grabbing his hand. “I just got distracted.” You hate to make him worry, especially now. The one thing you can do for him is to make sure he knows you’ll be okay. “Is it about me leaving?” He asks. You shake your head and he gives you a look. “Liar.” You chuckle, sliding up and leaning against the headboard. “Five more days, right?” He looks at you with a blank stare, hating how casual you are about it. “You don’t have to pretend you’re okay with this.” “I’m not.” You shrug, lacing your fingers with his as he slides up and joins you, “But Hana’s right ⎼ there’s no time to mull over how much this sucks.” Jungkook tightens his grip. “I should’ve told you sooner.” “Yeah,” your voice cracks a smidge and you clear your throat, “you’re a dick.” “Sorry.” He kisses the side of your head. “It’s fine,” you say, more so convincing yourself than him, “let’s make the best of the next few days, okay?” Jungkook nods, pressing his head against yours. The air feels heavy with your worries, wearing you down. His arm lays heavy over you as you lay there silently, looking out the window. Behind you, the absence of his snoring tells you he lies awake behind you as well. It’s evident that neither of you are okay with this, but the only thing that you need right now is to sit with those feelings. As uncomfortable as they may be. 

⎼

The next morning, the news plays on the television, reporting on details of the case. Namjoon sits on the couch, paying close attention while Jungkook stays close by as he tidies the house, glancing at the screen every now and then. You tune it out, feeling all sorts of ways every time they bring up a trial. “How’s the media so fast with the info…” Namjoon mutters to himself, turning the volume down. “You’re probably not the only one with an informant,” Jungkook says mindlessly and he scoffs. “So, you ready?” Jungkook stops wiping the table down and stares at him. Namjoon goes back and forth between you two, picking up on the awkwardness. “No?” “Does it matter?” Jungkook shrugs. Namjoon’s shoulders drop slightly. “I know this is hard on you, but it’s the best case scenario.” “I get that.” Jungkook says, going back to cleaning. Avoiding further eye contact with Namjoon, the older man looks to you, and you shake your head, signalling him to leave it be. “Alright, I’m gonna go. And I’ll be back in the evening with your guests.” He says, nodding to you with a smile. You bid him goodbye as he leaves. Minutes later, Jungkook abandoned his chore, choosing to sit on the high stool of the counter, watching as you work on a batch of brownie batter. You smile up at him when you notice how intensely he’s staring. He then moves from his seat, coming up behind you, resting his head on your head and arms around your waist. “Chill, I’m not running away again anytime soon.” You joke, and he smiles. The two of you found the whole thing rather amusing after talking it out. But at the back of your minds, the pressing reality haunts the both of you. Your laughters drown out the anxiety of what’s to come. “Sure you’re not mad at me still?” He asks, peeking down. “Folding that batter rather harshly.” “Positive.” You say firmly. “Maybe a little…” He peppers kisses on your cheeks, squishing your face between his fingers and forcing you to drop the spatula into the bowl. “Better?” Your cheeks hurt from smiling wide. He traps you between his body and the counter, and you look up at him smiling down. “I love you.” You blurt out, and his smile drops for a moment. “I love you too.” He whispers, looking down. “I’m sorry. I wish…it could be different…” “Hey,” you stop him, bringing his eyes back to you, “we said we wouldn’t do that…” A solemn smile appears on his face. He nods at your words. “Yeah, you’re right.” It hurts to see him so miserable, perhaps even more miserable than you are on the inside. But harping on what can’t be changed is fruitless. The time you have left can be spent cherishing whatever you have now. “Now, why don’t you start preparing what we need for tonight?” You change the subject and bring him back to the present. It works in the moment, when you notice his face eases up, and he gets to work, opening up the cabinets to fish out the dinnerware. While he gets to work, you glance at him occasionally, wondering how he managed to keep up a front the last week you’ve been together, knowing he’d eventually have to leave. He looks up and smiles at you, and you feel a tug at your heartstrings, knowing you won’t be seeing that for a long time.

⎼

The mirror has seen Jungkook more than you have the entire afternoon. He puts on a simple blue sweater you picked and paired it with black jeans, getting a weird feeling in his tummy when he thinks about the dinner. Even though he denies it, you know he’s excited, jittery even, to see his friends again. While he waits, Jungkook practises his smile, then physically cringes at how ridiculous he’s being. Luckily you’re not here to laugh at him. You’d left a while ago, waiting for Namjoon and the others at the basement carpark. Jungkook flops down on the bed, trying to stop his heart from beating so fast. Meanwhile, downstairs, you stand near the entrance of the basement ready to greet the two black SUVs as they arrive. The first one opens up to a beaming Hana, excitement showing in her demeanour. If Namjoon had been in the car, he definitely would’ve figured out that she knows. Ten minutes later, Hoseok and Jimin’s car arrive and you see Jimin immediately darting towards you, going in for a hug. “Where’ve you been, stranger?” He asks, squeezing you. “Here and there.” You say, leaning into him. Catching up behind him, Hoseok offers you a warm smile, relieved to see you in good spirits. Once you pull away from Jimin, he steps forward. “First of all, I’m sorry about last time. We were jerks. I was a jerk.” You wave it off. “Don’t worry about that. I’m good now.” “Really?” He raises a brow, casting a doubtful look at your switch up. He finds it strange when you extend your arm to give him a hug as well, but doesn’t oppose. Namjoon shows up from behind, ushering everyone to the lift lobby. Everyone is quiet, paying close attention as he scans his biometrics, waiting for a green flash to appear before pressing the button to his floor. You giggle at their awed expressions. “I’ve missed you,” Jimin nudges you, “you’re okay?” “Of course she is,” Hana chimes in just as the elevator stops, opening up to the corridor. Namjoon leads the way, once again using his biometrics to unlock the door. “Look at this place. I bet it has a great⎼” “The view…” Jimin continues, pushing past you and Hana and going straight for the high windows. The other two join him and they gawk at the skyline, completely ignoring the nice table set up you and Jungkook had worked on. Hoseok shakes his head. “I always knew you were rich but you’re actually rich rich.” “Oh come on,” Namjoon scoffs, “this place technically belongs to my company.” “Still,” Hana shrugs, “no wonder y/n wouldn’t go back home.” She winks your way and you widen your eyes, trying to control the huge grin. Namjoon then takes it upon himself to hand out champagne glasses, “Here you go guys…thanks for coming over tonight. I really wanted everyone to be able to come together after…all that’s happened.” Everyone stands to face Namjoon as he speaks. Without realising, their glasses start to fill, starting with Hana. She turns to the server, about to relay her thanks, not thinking much about the fact that maybe Namjoon had a butler whose presence she had missed. But she goes for a double take, before words can even be said, and the man shoots her a charming wink before moving ahead. Hoseok’s glass is next.

“Congrats on the successful case.” Hoseok says, angling his glass to allow for a better flow. But he’s much too focused on Namjoon to notice anything. “I can finally stop pretending not to know you.” “Yeah, you killed it.” Jimin chimes in. “You don’t even know who he is.” Hana raises a brow at him. “I’ve seen him around okay?” Jimin mutters, watching the liquid fill his glass. He glances at the server and smiles, raising his glass. “Cheers. Thanks Jungkook.” Your smile grows wider as you watch Jimin freeze just an inch away from the glass touching his lips. Hoseok snaps his head to the man behind him, mouth parting and unable to tear his eyes away from the sight that he doesn’t even think is real. Jimin spins around, carefully studying the person standing an arm’s length away from him. Jungkook notices the twist of his face, one he always makes when he’s emotional. “Jungkook!” In his excitement, red wine spills all over the floor as he jumps towards Jungkook, holding him tight. Welcoming the embrace, Jungkook’s smile reaches his eyes and he lets his head drop to Jimin’s shoulder. “Hey, Jimin. Long time no see.” “Jeon Jungook, what the hell.” Hoseok mutters unbelievably. He turns to Namjoon for confirmation, as if the person he’s looking at might just be a figment of his imagination. Even as Jimin pulls away, collecting himself, Hoseok finds it hard to believe that it’s the same Jungkook he’d spent weeks checking hospitals for, the Jungkook he thought had fled somewhere far away. He’d gone through many different scenarios in his head, of when he would somehow see Jungkook again, but he didn’t think it would be so soon. Staring at him wide-eyed, almost as nervous as he is, Jungkook clears his throat. “Hi, hyung.”

⎼

Under the table, Jungkook’s hand finds solace in yours, squeezing every time the nerves get to him. He doesn’t even realise he’s doing it, but as soon as he sees your reassuring smile, he relaxes. You turn your palm over, letting your fingers lace together with his. Everyone’s impatience forced Namjoon to retell the story over dinner; how the plan came about and where Jungkook fit into all of it. As absorbed as you were the first time, everyone eats silently while Namjoon goes on. Seeing how Jungkook has barely touched his food, you lean in to whisper, “You okay?” Jungkook sneaks a glance at the others, all focused on Namjoon, “I feel weird.” He admits. His sweaty palms are a testament to that, as well as eyes that shy away from the others. “You’re doing fine. Just be yourself.” Jungkook nods, swallowing the lump in his throat as he tries to figure out how to do that. What does being himself mean? He’d always been himself around them, but that was his old self. Just as he’s getting lost in his thoughts, he feels the weight of three pairs of eyes turn to him. “I can’t believe you were his informant the entire time,” Hana says, “You played the role so well, I thought ya’ll couldn’t stand each other.” “Oh that wasn’t acting.” Jungkook shakes his head, “I actually can’t stand him.” Already anticipating such a response, Namjoon’s eyes roll as far back as they can go. Heart thumping at his first comment out loud, Jungkook sucks in a breath to calm himself. You give him a squeeze of his hand to let him know he did good. “And you never figured it out?” Jimin asks, side eyeing you. You punch him lightly and he pouts. “Hey, no one knew. You’re his best friend and you didn’t figure it out either.” “How did you do it?” Hoseok asks, and there’s a moment of awkwardness as everyone waits for Jungkook’s reply. “Must’ve been lonely…not having anyone to talk to about it with.” He takes a while to think, huffing a small laugh as he plays with the cut up meat on his plate. “It wasn’t easy…I had to keep lying to people. Which made things a lot more complicated because the lies kept coming back to bite me.” Everyone takes a moment, realising it’s the first time they’ve ever heard Jungkook speak so vulnerably. It’s new to him too, only ever being comfortable to open up around you. And Suga. “Probably didn’t help that someone kept meddling,” Namjoon says, breaking the tension. His eyes hook right on to yours, “Even after getting a warning. Multiple warnings in fact.” “I’m very passionate about my loved ones.” You stick your nose proudly in the air, earning a scowl from Namjoon. “Did you know?” Hana asks, avoiding your stare. “We went through such lengths to keep things from you.” Jungkook glances at you, smiling. “I had no idea. I just thought she was obsessed.” Your jaw drops as a round of laughs make its way through the table and Jungkook grins. He pulls you close to his side, squishing your cheeks. “I’m kidding.” He says. “I knew you were a meddler but I didn’t think it went that far.” “Yeah, you were basically running your own operation while we ran ours.” Namjoon shakes his head and you throw a broccoli his way, hitting him right on the forehead. He sits back in his chair, jutting his chin out with restrained annoyance as Jimin and Hana snicker across from him. Next to Namjoon, Hoseok watches on with a smile while you go back and forth, still finding it odd to be sitting on the same table as his friend and everyone else, especially Jungook. He sneaks a glance in Jungkook’s direction, only to find him already staring. Taken by surprise at the sudden eye contact, Jungkook blinks rapidly before finding interest in his food. You manage to catch the tiniest look of endearment on Hoseok’s face as he’s looking at Jungkook. His eyes then drift over to yours, eyes crinkling into a smile, which you return. Hoseok’s heart thumps in his chest, seeing the most genuine smile he’s ever seen from you. 

⎼

After some persuading, Namjoon agreed to bring everyone up to the rooftop, where Jungkook and you often frequent. You were too excited to be able to share the view with your friends, hooking your arm around theirs, immediately dragging them past the pool towards the rooftop garden. Strolling behind, Namjoon, Hoseok and Jungkook walk at a steady pace. Jungkook walks a couple of steps behind the other two, snorting when he hears your voice in the distance, blabbering about something. Namjoon glances back, then bumps his elbow against his friend. Hoseok looks at him curiously, and Namjoon nods towards the back, and as Hoseok’s eyes dart to Jungkook, awkwardness wraps around his entire being. With a curt nod, Namjoon gets ahead, catching up with everyone else, leaving Hoseok and Jungkook alone for the first time tonight. In an effort to be the bigger person, Hoseok slows down to match his steps with Jungkook. They make eye contact the moment they walk side by side, and both huff out an awkward chuckle. “Sorry I’m just feeling a little…” “Awkward?” Jungkook finishes his sentence and they both laugh, then fall quiet again. “Feels weird when we’re not arguing over something.” Hoseok huffs, smiling as he nods in agreement. “How’ve you been?” “Okay I guess.” Jungkook shrugs. “You?” “Good.” Hoseok takes a breath. “It’s good to see you again.” Jungkook gets a weird feeling in his chest, something he hasn’t felt since he was a child. Faint memories of his family come back to him for some reason. “I thought you escaped somehow.” Hoseok says as they settle on the daybeds by the pool. He sits facing Jungkook, noticing his eyes drifting off to where you are, standing by the railing overlooking the view with the others. “She had a feeling you were still around though. We didn’t believe her.” “She’s always right.” Jungkook chuckles and so does Hoseok. “But I don’t blame you. Classic me move, right? Running away every time there’s a problem.” Hoseok’s smile drops. Seemingly unbothered by his own comment, Jungkook stretches his leg out in front of him, patting his palms on his thighs. All the times he’s criticised Jungkook comes to mind, wondering how much Jungkook must have internalised for him to be okay saying such things about himself. 

“Jungkook, I’m sorry.” Unsure if he had heard right, Jungkook’s stares at him wide-eyed. “What did you say?” “I’m really sorry,” Hoseok repeats, shaking his guilt-ridden head. “I’ve spent many nights thinking about how badly I treated you. It was horrible…” Jungkook smiles. “It’s okay.” “No, don’t say that.” Hoseok sighs. “Don’t let me off the hook so easily. I was always criticising you and telling you what to do, judging you when I didn’t even know you at all. You were right when you said I had a saviour complex. I kept saying that I was doing all that because I cared ⎼ and I did, I still do ⎼ but I went about it the wrong way.” “I should’ve sat down with you and tried to understand you. Then maybe I could’ve given you real advice. But instead I just ordered you around.” “I mean, I wasn’t the easiest to talk to.” Jungkook rubs the back of his head with a sheepish smile. “And a lot of what you said was true, I just didn’t want to hear it.” “It's hard to hear over someone constantly berating you.” Hoseok says. “At some point I even turned on you and let my feelings for y/n get in the way. Wasn’t till she told me off one day that it really hit me…you should’ve just socked me in the face.” “Trust me, I thought about that a lot.” Jungkook admits, laughing. “I’m kidding. Not gonna lie, you were annoying. But now that I can think clearly, looking back, I can see you meant well. Back then I had so many things on my mind, and your constant lectures were just something I couldn’t deal with. Which is why I was so defensive.” “You did have a lot going on…I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.” Hoseok offers an apologetic smile. “All that time you were actually in on the case with Namjoon.” “To be fair, before that I was just a menace.” Jungkook chuckles, and Hoseok realises he’s never been able to sit with Jungkook like this, hearing him laugh about silly things. “When I got involved, I had to bite my tongue from letting it slip every time we fought. I wanted so badly to tell you I’m trying, I’m trying to change.” It makes Hoseok emotional hearing that; it was all he ever wanted, for Jungkook to be a better person. Yet when it was happening, he didn’t even realise it. Regret seeps through his entire being. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way.” It’s something Jungkook can smile about now, though he remembers the frustration at the time. “It’s all good now. Water under the bridge.” Almost as if he doesn’t recognise the person in front of him, Hoseok tilts his head slightly, admiring Jungkook. The rude, indifferent boy no longer present, replaced with a level-headed version of him; mature yet surrounded by a youthful aura. “In the end, you did the right thing though. And all on your own.” Hoseok grins, “I’m proud of you.” The four words echo through Jungkook’s head and he looks away, feeling that ache in his chest again. What follows is an odd sensation of relief washing over him. The mix of emotions confuse him, and perhaps it’s because he never truly allowed himself to have such moments; the only ever person he would let himself be open with was with you. And now, he sits here, blinking away tears. Jungkook clears his throat. “I um…I wanted to thank you.” “For what?” “Just…” Jungkook shrugs, “I know that it was you who got Namjoon involved in the first place⎼” “I’m sorry for that too,” Hoseok buries his head in his hands, “I didn’t think things would get so serious. I thought it would be a simple crackdown and you’d be free. But this⎼ I didn’t⎼” “I know,” Jungkook says gently, “Namjoon told me everything. But also…for always being there for y/n. You care a lot about her and I appreciate it, you’ve always looked out for her. And I hope you can continue to do that.” Something about the way Jungkook said it made Hoseok feel uneasy. His tone had been ominous and loaded, there was definitely more to it. But before Hoseok has a chance to question it, Jungkook’s attention rips away from him and he straightens up happily, eyes hooked on to your approaching figure.

“Hey.” You plop down right next to him, “What are you two talking about?” “Stuff.” Jungkook says, stretching his arm out over your shoulders. Hoseok nods, “Stuff.” “Fascinating.” You say bluntly, then turn to Hoseok. “Have you seen the view? It’s ⎼” “We were actually just talking about how stubborn you are.” Jungkook cuts you off, winking at the man across from him. “Yeah,” Hoseok huffs out, puffing his cheeks and his head sways side to side, “remember when she made a deal with Hongjun and got herself in trouble?” “Oh yeah, how could I forget.” Jungkook sighs. “Can you imagine? Putting herself at risk like that.” Their heads spin to you, gauging your reaction. Just as they thought, you sit there with your arms folded, forehead creased with annoyance. You go back and forth between the two of them. “I don’t like this new dynamic.”

⎼

Jungkook tries to recall the last time his cheeks hurt from smiling too much. Or if he’s ever laughed as much as he has tonight. He’d sink into pockets of awkwardness at times, but it wasn’t hard to get back into the rhythm and pick himself out of that hole. It makes him think about the last few years, and how different life could’ve been and how much he might’ve missed out on. Across the room, you take turns to play a video game Namjoon put on, the four of you screaming every time a character is annihilated. Jungkook opens the fridge and stares mindlessly at the inside for a minute. Namjoon then comes up behind him, shuffling around the kitchen for some snacks. He finds a packet of chips and tears the bag open while his back leans against the counter. Feeling a pair of eyes trained on him, Jungkook looks over his shoulder. “What?” “Ready?” Jungkook turns back around. “For what?” He mumbles as he bends down to grab a can. “To break the news to them.” He says quietly, “Or are you not doing that tonight?” The fridge door shuts a little too hard and Jungkook winces. In front of the television, the other four remain unbothered, eyes glued to the screen. “I don’t want to ruin the night.” Namjoon shrugs. “Although I’m sure they’d want to know sooner than later.” “Weren’t you the one who suggested I tell them on the day I’m leaving?” “Yes,” Namjoon drags the word out, “that is usually how we do it. But I’m willing to close one eye and let you have a choice.” “I don’t even think I can do it.” Jungkook says, looking over at them again. How can he drop the news so casually after tonight? It’s taken months to reveal himself to them, and for them to find out that he was working with Namjoon the whole time, only to then break the news that he has to leave in a matter of days? His shoulder drops when Namjoon places his hand on it. “I could make the announcement for you?” Jungkook gives it a thought. The joy on your face is something he doesn’t want to see gone. If you can put up a brave front despite already knowing, then he can too. Thinking back to the promise he’s made to you, to enjoy the last few days you have with each other, Jungkook makes up his mind. He shakes his head, and Namjoon nods with a smile. Everyone will just have to forgive him once more in the future. 

⎼

Jungkook fluffs the last pillow and sets it back neatly on the couch. Looking around, he exhales in triumph at how he’s managed to tidy up the place back to its original state. The quiet feels strangely odd, now that’s everyone’s gone home, even though it’s all he’s known in the last month. He grabs the trash bags you’d left by the kitchen, and steps outside to dump the last of them down the chute. Just before he makes his way back inside, Jungkook lingers by the doorframe, staring at the elevator where everyone said their goodbyes. “See you soon!” Hoseok said. And Jimin goes on about how he can’t wait for Jungkook to return to the house, thankful that they hadn’t cleared out his room. Jungkook could only smile, knowing he in fact won’t be back. After washing up, you enter the room to find Jungkook on the bed, looking through your phone with a towel around his damp hair. You climb on his back, taking a whiff of his body wash and sighing immediately. Jungkook’s smile stretches wider as he scrolls through the pictures you took tonight. Your chin finds a spot on his shoulder and you let your weight rest on him. “That was a nice night, right?” “Mhm.” He nods and you kiss the side of his face. “I was awkward though.” “But you did so well.” You reassure him, rolling off his back and joining him on your front, shoulder to shoulder with him. “Everyone was so happy to see you.” Jungkook’s heart swells, something he’s still trying to get used to. He passes the phone back to you and gets on his back, staring up at the ceiling. He still thinks about the conversation he had with Hoseok, how for the first time ever, they’ve spoken without getting into a huge fight. “It was so crazy. Hoseok apologised to me, you know?” “Did he?” You lie on your side, head resting on your palm. “Yeah.” Jungkook smiles as he recalls. “It’s weird I got kind of nervous…but also happy.” “That’s cute!” You chuckle. “Deep down you actually do like him, don’t you?” “I guess I do now.” Jungkook thinks back to the old days, when he would roll his eyes at the sight of Hoseok or the whiff of his cologne. “Back then he was insufferable. But tonight…he was kinda cool. Apologising and shit.” “Did you apologise?” Jungkook turns to you confused. “What? Was I supposed to?” “I mean you were pretty mean to him back then.” You say and he frowns deeper. “Remember when you almost got us into a crash?” Jungkook’s face softens when you remind him of that. “Hey…” You laugh at his disappointment in you bringing it up again, though you never actually got to speaking about it since that night. “What? It’s true!” “But you slapped me after.” He says, as a matter-of-factly. “Cause you almost killed us…” You say slowly and, “and then you almost beat him up.” “Well if you hadn’t ran off with him…” You gasp dramatically, getting on your knees to twist his ear. He cries out in pain, but a smile still lingers on his lips. Strong arms hold you in place as you climb on top of him. “I didn’t run off with him! I was running away from you! Because you⎼” He easily plucks your hand away from his ear with the way you back down, slowly remembering the events of the night that led up to his car chase. The image of him holding Hongjun in a headlock appears in your mind.

His playful gaze softens, thumb caressing the back of your palm reassuringly. “That was when you asked me to run off with you, wasn’t it? You were warning me about the operation.” Nodding, it feels silly now knowing he was involved all along. It’s no wonder he was so reluctant to leave. “That was when things started to make sense; your behaviour, the break-up, why you were so adamant on running away with me.” Jungkook chuckles, sitting up to get closer to you. His arms keep you in place on his lap. “Could you tell I was panicking?” “I didn’t realise,” you admit, “I thought you wanted to stay loyal to your friends…it was so frustrating.” He laughs but it’s cut short when he doesn’t see you joining him. Instead, your eyes glaze over, and he loses you in that moment. Only when the back of his fingers gently graze against your cheek do you return, eyes going back and forth between his. 

“You had that same look,” he whispers. You swallow, trying to focus on what he’s saying. “Hm?” “That night, you had the same look on your face.” He repeats, tilting his head when you avert your gaze, “Right before you ran off.” You slide off of him, grabbing a pillow to hug. Jungkook mirrors your movements, crossing his legs and letting your knees touch. When the distress on your face doesn’t go away, he gets nervous, frowning when he realises whatever it is, is bothering you that much. “Is it Hongjun?” He asks carefully, reminded of how anxious you got previously. You wet your dry lips, suddenly feeling warm under his stare. The thought of Hongjun still brings back bad feelings sometimes, but it’s not what Jungkook thinks it is. “Not exactly…” you mutter, stopping before you say more. With all that’s happened, you can’t even remember if you’d asked him about the video. “It’s…you see before that…” you swallow your nerves, “I was⎼ ugh fuck.” “Hey, it’s alright.” Jungkook places his hand over yours. “I don’t want you to get upset…” You say quietly. He reaches under your chin to lift your gaze, gentle eyes greeting you. He smiles. “Tell me.” You take another deep breath, squeezing his hand. “Back then, Hongjun was still contacting me.” Jungkook nods curtly, paying close attention. “Well...he…” His body visibly tenses from the suspense. “Did he do anything to you?” “No,” you shake your head and let your fingers intertwine with his, watching his shoulders relax, “I don’t know where to start…” Jungkook tucks stray hairs away from your face and runs his thumb over your cheek. “From the beginning?” Recalling your contact with Hongjun felt odd, now that he’s gone, and the usual uneasiness in Jungkook’s expression which normally surfaced, no longer an issue. He seems to have internalised that Hongjun would never come back to haunt him. From the first time he’d sourced you out at the cafe, right down to the time he waited for you on campus, Jungkook listens attentively as you explain how Hongjun had wanted you to help him. None of it came as a surprise to Jungkook, it was exactly the kind of person Hongjun was; devious and manipulative. If he had known all this was happening, it would have been over for him. But now that he’s dead, Jungkook finds it regretful only because it caused you so much stress. “He said some things about you and some of the things you did for Kim.” You say. Jungkook nods. “He was manipulating you. He knew you were his best bet in getting me out of the picture.” “The thing is, I knew deep down that’s what it was. But I was also scared…” Your words trail off and he lowers his head to match yours, “Scared of…me?” “Of the things he said you did.” You squeeze your eyes shut but he cups your face and brings it up to his. “I’ve said it before, haven't I? None of it’s true.” “I know that, I believe you.” Jungkook searches your eyes. “But?...” “There was a video. Of you.” He shifts uncomfortably, eyes locked on to yours. “You were in a fight. And it looked like you won, but the other guy…”

Jungkook seems to catch on to what you’re referring to. There’s been many fights he’s been over the years but only a few come to mind at once. And he can’t think of many that anyone would have a video of. If he wasn’t nervous before, now he is. “Wait,” his forehead creases, “he sent you a video of me in this fight?” “Yes.” You breath out shakily. “I didn’t want to believe him when he said you were doing all sorts of terrible things to people because of Kim. He kept trying to convince me that you needed me to save you. So he sent me that video as proof that if I don't help you, it’ll only get worse and worse.” “What did you see?” Staring at him, you hesitate to carry on, but he raises his brows, urging you with a silent promise that it’ll be okay. “There were people cheering and screaming. It was really loud. And I saw you somewhere in the middle of all that, tangled up with someone. He was in a chokehold, in your arms…and then I think he…” Shaking your head, you refuse to go on, averting your eyes to where your hands have balled up the blankets in your fists. “And I know you said you don’t⎼ you’ve never⎼ killed anyone but⎼” “Calm down⎼” “I don’t know what went down that night but I know you would never I know they made you do it, and⎼” “Stop.” “And I’m willing to move past that, I still love you.” Jungkook shuts his eyes and heaves out, dropping his head. For a moment you think he might lose it, or breakdown, something. But the corners of his lips curve up and now he’s looking at you with a tender look in his glossy eyes. “Who are you kidding my love? You’d have sleepless nights if the love of your life killed someone.” “But I’m⎼” “Thankfully he’s not.” The amusement all over his face doesn’t help to convince you. You can’t tell if he’s already accepted a man’s death by his hands or if he’s pushed the memory so far back into his mind, he’s convinced himself it never happened. Both possibilities don’t sound so good. “It’s not funny.” “I know, sorry.” He smiles, taking your hands in his. “I didn’t kill anyone.” “I saw the video, Jungkook. It was a fight to the death, people placed bets on you. You won, he died.” Jungkook nods, “That’s what I thought happened too. I was chosen to fight but he volunteered, I didn’t know the guy, hadn’t seen him before that night. I thought he was one of Barome’s men. Trust me…you have no idea how I felt after the fight, thinking I’d killed him.” “Wait, so…” “He’s not dead.”

As simple as they are, the words would not process in your head. It just made no sense. “Wha⎼ How? Are you sure?” “Namjoon said so.” Jungkook says. “That guy might have been undercover too. He didn’t go into too much detail but I’m guessing they figured out a way to make it look like he was dead for real. Wouldn’t be too hard considering everyone was pretty much high or wasted that night. I wish he’d told me cause I was inconsolable after.” “I don’t even remember the fight or what led up to it. Someone must’ve slipped me something. But I would never kill anyone, only knock them out cold. I don’t even know how to kill someone like that. So when I found out what happened…it was like a nightmare.” “Oh gosh…” your stomach twists, “I shouldn’t have believed Hongjun…” “I don’t blame you.” Jungkook smiles reassuringly. “I believed it myself. He really wanted you to get me out of the picture huh?” “Yeah, and it worked.” You smile sheepishly. “That’s why I was so flustered that night. I made excuses for it…like maybe you were forced to do it or something. But then when Hongjun showed up and I saw you hold him in a chokehold till he passed out…” “It reminded you of the video.” Nodding as your heart starts to fill with relief, pushing away any thoughts you had before, you crawl into his arms and he hugs you tight. “That’s why I wanted us to run away together. I thought I was saving you. Sorry.” “Don’t be. I know Hongjun and this is exactly the type of shit he’d pull.” Jungkook sighs. “I was stupid to even take up his offer.” You say, pulling away and rolling off face down into a pillow. Jungkook’s palm lands on your ass, and you let out a yelp, turning to scowl at him. Chuckling, he rolls you back to your front, sliding on his side to rest next to you. “You literally never listen.” With a roll of your eyes, you playfully slap him. He cups the side of his affected cheek and gasps. “Another slap.” “A loving one.” Jungkook leans in to capture your lips in a tender kiss, one that has your body melting into the mattress. Pulling away far too quickly, he chuckles at your half-lidded eyes, feeling the exhaustion catching up to himself after all the excitement of the day. You get comfy under the covers as he turns the lights off and pulls the curtains back, allowing the brightness of the city to illuminate the room instead. Ignoring the space you made next to you, he climbs on top and rests his weight on you, melting your bodies together. You hum out a sigh. “Heavy.” 

His body shakes with giggles, head nestled nicely between your bosoms. “But comfy.” Your body eventually adjusts to it, muscles relaxing beneath him, and fatigue slowly creeping over you. Fingers trace his scalp, easing him to closed eyes. “Thanks for coming back.” His voice fills the silence of the night. With no response, he thinks maybe you’ve fallen asleep, hands no longer stroking his head. But then they slide lower, rubbing his back soothingly. “Sorry for getting mad.” “Sorry for keeping it a secret.” “Sorry for conspiring with Hongjun.” Jungkook laughs, lifting his head. “Okay how far back are we gonna take this?” “I don’t know,” you grin and even in the dark he can’t stop staring, “but I am sorry.” “It’s not your fault.” He says, “Hongjun’s a master manipulator. He was just using you. Which is why I said not to engage with him.” “Like you said, it’s not my fault.” You shrug and he laughs unbelievably. Sliding up to meet his face with yours, the tip of his nose gently grazes yours. “I adore you, you know that?” His hot breath tickles, and a finger grazes over your face. “I know,” his head drops to your shoulder and you slap his back, “Jaemin told me you cried all night.” “I’m literally gonna wring his neck the next time I see him.” “Don’t be mean!” You say, “I like him. He’s nice.” Jungkook leans in closer, moving in to kiss you fervently. 

⎼

In the middle of the night, your eyes peel open after drifting out of a blank dream, leaving you dissatisfied and tossing over to find a more comfortable position. Turning to the other side, your arm stretches out to reach for something to cling to. But it falls to the bed much to your disappointment. In place of Jungkook, his lived-in spot and a tossed over blanket remain. No sounds appear to come from the bathroom, so you slip out the door which was left slightly ajar. And standing in front of the windows, you see his lonesome figure, staring outside. Sleep hasn’t been an issue ever since you came, but you know some nights still give him trouble. “Jungkook?” Trotting over to where he is, you drag your slippers against the floor. He must have heard you, but he remains still as a statue. “Nightmares again?” Only a soft sniffle can be heard in the silence. And as you come up to his side, illuminated by the city lights, you see tears streaming down his face, tired and strained eyes avoiding you. A wave of panic rushes through your body and you cup his face, feeling its warmth spreading to your hands. “What’s wrong?” Jungkook shakes his head, turning away. But you persist, pulling him back to face you. Words struggle to leave him and you can only wrap around him, holding him tight as whispering soft words of comfort. His head slowly drops, tears dampening the clothes on your shoulder. As if scared to make a sound, Jungkook continues to cry silently, sniffing every now and then. His arms hold on to you so tight you can feel the beating of his heart against your body. Wishing you knew what’s going on in that head of his, you run a soothing hand down his back, waiting for him to calm down before trying to pull away. A while passes and you almost doze off yourself, resting against the couch. At some point, he had let up enough for you to tug him there, where he found comfort in your lap. The sobbing slows down, and you take a peek, finding him still awake and staring at the blank screen ahead. “You okay?”

He nods, cheek brushing against your thigh. “Talk to me.” You say gently, giving him time to gather himself. “It keeps coming back to me,” he says, shifting his body so that he lays on his back, looking up at you, “every time I close my eyes I see him, lying there on the ground…” “Who?” “Kim.” It comes out in a whisper, and he shuts his eyes like it pains him. After all this time, you still don’t know what happened that night. The news had reported a cardiac arrest at the time of confrontation, but you know it’s not the full story, because they weren’t there either. Only Jungkook, Namjoon, Seokjin and Kim would know what actually happened then. 

You rub a thumb over his damp and sore cheek. He sniffles. “I close my eyes and I see him,” he repeats, struggling to continue, “I had to choose…between him…and…”With a hand over his chest, you feel the shakiness in his breath. He winces at the pain he feels inside. “Take your time.” You say softly. “I pointed the gun at him.” Jungkook continues with a strained voice. He sits up, feeling suffocated. “And the look on his face…I⎼ He was so disappointed, I know he was.” “Even after what happened at the club…he still trusted me y/n…” Jungkook says, “And I let him down. I betrayed him after everything he’s done for me. The moment he knew I wasn’t on his side, he⎼” Warm tears stream down his face faster than you can wipe them away. “His heart just stopped,” Jungkook says, with an empty look in his eyes. “It just stopped. Because of me. I killed him. He’s dead because of me.” Tears well up in your own eyes, a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach at the sight of Jungkook so broken. Devastated by how he’s blaming himself for Kim’s death, you hush him. “Don’t say that.” “His last words to me were that he trusted me.” Jungkook whispers, hanging his head low. Embracing him, he’s much gentler this time, letting his chin rest on your shoulder. For so long, this has been bothering him with no one to talk to. So much so that it ended up eating him alive. Every night since Kim died, Jungkook has had the same recurring nightmare, one where he’s forced to remember Kim’s last moments, on the ground in that alley where he had revealed his alliance with Namjoon. Even if he did manage to get through the night, he would never feel fully rested. Kim’s death weighs heavy in his chest. He considers himself to blame, and no one can convince him otherwise. He was there that night, and nothing can change how it all happened, even if he so desperately wishes for things to have ended differently. “I’m so sorry.” You whisper, wishing you could absorb all the pain and let it consume you instead. “I didn’t know.” “That was the last time I saw him.” Jungkook says. “I still remember how cold his hand was against mine. He smiled at me, told me he trusted me. He left the company to me. To Suga.” Suga. Somehow you had forgotten about him. But you were also conscious of how Jungkook hadn’t uttered his name since, and figured it isn’t something he wants to talk about especially after the revelation of Jungkook as Namjoon’s informant. “And Suga…I let him down.” Jungkook sniffs. “I let him down. He saw the whole thing. The betrayal, Kim falling after.” Your heart beats wildly in your chest. What Mia told you before suddenly comes to mind; someone spotting Suga in this exact part of the city. It might be a coincidence, and it might not even be him, but you decide not to tell Jungkook yet. Knowing there’s nothing much you can say to snap him out of it, you comfort him in the only way you know how. Your presence keeps him grounded, and a tiny piece of the burden he’s been carrying lifts off his shoulders. Weariness overcomes Jungkook and his eyelids fight a losing battle. Not wanting to ruin his chances of getting some rest, you continue to rub his back, whispering words of comfort, and the two of you stay on the couch for the rest of the night with Jungkook snoring lightly next to you. His arm lies limp over your middle and you lay awake, staring at the ceiling as your thoughts cloud your mind. 

⎼

“What about winter coats?” You flash your screen to show him one you found online. His nose scrunches up. “Don’t know if I’ll need it there.” “Which is where…” You zip your lip when he raises a brow at you, shaking his head. “You know I can’t tell you.” He stops, eyes darting around. “Wait, I don’t even know where I’m going.” Jungkook looks down at the open luggage by his feet, going over a list in his head. It’s filled with the necessities; basic clothing, toiletries, and some snacks stashed under everything. You lie on your front, chin resting on your folded arms on the edge of the bed. “Thinking so hard as if you have that much stuff to begin with…” He looks at you amused. Every time he starts packing, you get huffy and sulky, a habit of yours whenever he tries to leave after staying over. “I would stash you in here if I could but explosives are prohibited.” Rolling your eyes, you ignore the comment and hop off the bed. In front of the mirror, you fix your hair and check yourself out from each angle. He watches your strange behaviour from where he’s standing, “What are you doing?” “Trying to see if I still got it.” You look at him from the reflection. “After all, I’m about to live life as a single woman again in a matter of days.” Jungkook almost chokes on his own saliva, swiftly turning away from the wardrobe to see if he heard you right. “Excuse me what.” “Oh, Jungkook and I broke up. He got a scholarship overseas and it was too good an offer to turn down. We decided it’s best we focus on our own things for now.” It was the cover you both decided on if ever someone asks about him, but he hates hearing you actually saying it like it’s true. “That’s what I’m supposed to say, right?” “Only if someone asks.” He frowns. “And they will. You were insanely popular, Jungkook.” You say, “I’m just practising.” “For what.” “For when I go to the club,” you sing-song, “when I party at the Omega’s, or maybe one of the hot teaching assistants will hit on me.” You prance around as you list down the places you’d go as a free woman, Jungkook’s sharp eyes locked on you as you move. “No.” He says and you turn to see him already stomping towards you. You back off but he’s too quick and his long legs make for big steps that has you within reach in seconds, and suddenly you find yourself being thrown over his shoulder, a harsh slap landing on your ass. “I don’t like this.” He grunts. With one swoop, he shifts you into his arms and your vision spins from the sudden movement. The next moment, he’s placing you in his luggage, trying his best to fold your body in half just to fit you in whatever space he has left. You laugh as he tickles your sides to stop you from resisting, and the mischievous grin on his face grows larger as he zips up the portion where half your body’s managed to squeeze into. “Let me go!” You yell in a fit of laughter, one of his hands holding on to your wrists and the other aiming for your ticklish spots. “No. I’m taking you with me.” He giggles when you actually stop resisting and try to squeeze the top half of your body and head into whatever space is left. Your silliness clouds the sounds coming from outside, where Jaemin had allowed himself in, initially concerned at the sounds of your screaming. Praying that the two of you weren’t in the middle of some weird and violent foreplay session, he struts towards the room and stands at the door frame, wondering if he should even make himself known. 

Jaemin sighs. “Should I be worried?” The unfamiliar voice startles you, and you let out a shriek that has Jungkook falling backwards. Jaemin shuts his eyes, regretting his decision to stop by. Hand over your chest as you catch your breath, you burst into laughter when you catch Jungkook’s eye. “Why would you do that?” Jungkook asks, unzipping the compartment where half your body rests. “I did nothing.” Jaemin says, eyes full of judgement as you struggle to get yourself off the luggage, managing to do so only with Jungkook’s help. “I came to check if you needed anything. Did you read through the list I handed you?” “Yes,” Jungkook pats the pile of clothes, “only packed the essentials like you noted.” “Good.” He smiles a little, the first time you’ve seen him do that. “Don’t worry about packing too little, we’ll provide you with new clothes and other stuff once we’re there. I just got off a video call with our point person too, the house looks good, everything’s sorted.” “That’s great.” Jungkook lets out a heavy exhale. “Just great.” The shift in Jungkook’s demeanour doesn’t go unnoticed. Jaemin glances at you for a second, “I’m nervous too. It’s my first time in charge of such a big task.” His confession was unexpected but strangely comforting. At least you know Jungkook won’t be alone. You are interested in how these two are going to get along, knowing how hard-headed Jungkook can be. “It’ll be fine.” Jaemin’s confidence lightens Jungkook's mood slightly, a tiny smile creeping its way onto his face. 

⎼

“I’m not getting kidnapped, am I?” You watch the tall buildings slowly disappear, eventually leaving you with the view of clear skies, long roads and lines of cars as you get onto the highway. “Maybe you are.” His fingers squeeze through your fist and interlace with yours. “You’re coming with me.” “As hostage?” You scoff. “This isn’t my first rodeo you know?” Jungkook laughs. “Like I’d ever bring the snitch with me if I were running.” He braces for the punch that lands, though he knows it won’t hurt. Laughing adorably, he stretches his arm over your shoulder to pull you in closer just so he can wipe the pout away with his palm brushing over your face. “Stop it!” “I’m kidding,” he kisses the side of your head, “I’m taking you to meet someone special.” “Someone special?” On his face is a look you’ve never seen before; a mixture of anticipation and delight. Rarely does he ever get excited about anything enough to show it, and being this vulnerable is still something new. When he told you about a short trip, you expected one to the nearest department store to get essentials he might need. But the car gets further and further away from the city, and Jaemin continues on the route, the farthest he’s ever brought you both. After leaving in the morning, breakfast was from a drive-through and the car stopped by the side of a road near a park, allowing you, and Jaemin, to people watch as you eat peacefully. Then it’s off, without so much as a word from the younger man. He seems to know where he’s going though you assume it was entirely Jungkook’s idea based on how excited he is. You’re surprised Namjoon even approved this trip given how there's only two days left till his departure ⎼ something that’s been eating away at you silently. Two hours later, the roads begin to get narrower, and traffic gets slower. More greenery and houses come into view as you see a simple welcome sign by the side of the road as you enter a quaint and pretty town. Going past schools, apartments and houses, Jaemin stops the car at the basement level carpark of a mall. Scanning the surroundings, he stops only when he notices something, before the engine goes off. Turning in his seat, he hands Jungkook what looks like a burner phone. “Call if there’s an emergency. I’m on speed dial.” “You’re not coming with us?” You ask, genuinely surprised that he’s letting you off on your own in a random town.

He eyes Jungkook who beams from ear to ear. “It is a small town. And the threat is low here, so I can let you go for a while.” Apart from the phone, Jungkook is also handed two transport cards and a tracker, much smaller than an electronic tracker you’d see on offenders, just in the form of a sleek black band which he reluctantly hooks above his ankle. “Plus a black SUV driving around would probably stick out more than a couple taking a walk down the street.” Jaemin says, then stretches his neck out to search outside, pointing to an old blue and white Volvo parked on the opposite lot behind the SUV. You notice two figures sitting in the driver and passenger’s seat. “See that? That’s ours. They’ll be driving around town just in case. If there is an emergency and I can’t get there in time, I’ll activate them.” “Alright.” Jungkook says and you nod. “I’d still avoid contact unless absolutely necessary. Y/N, I’m gonna have to ask you to take the lead if need be.” “Sure,” you agree, watching Jungkook put on a mask and a cap. “And Jungkook, remember, this is your home⎼” “I know.” He cuts the man off eagerly and Jaemin takes the hint. “Send me a text when you’re done. I’ll give you instructions on where to go next.” “Got it.” Jungkook says, hand on the handle of the door. His enthusiasm is contagious, like a child on an excursion. Still, he waits for Jaemin to give the okay before practically prancing out, motioning for you to do the same. Hand in hand, you make it up the lift to the first floor of the mall, noticing how much slower and calm everything is. It’s unlike the usual chaos you’d find back in the city, with kids running around, talking loudly over the phone, and the less than friendly looks everyone gives each other. After a short walk, Jungkook stops by a flower shop. He spends a good five minutes looking through the fresh flowers in the fridge, contemplating on the perfect ones while you stroll around. Just as a bunch of tulips catch your eye, Jungkook comes up to you with fresh daisies in hand. “Who are these for?” You ask, complimenting his choice. “For the special person we’re going to see today.” “You still haven’t told me who it is.” He walks ahead towards the cashier and you tag along behind him, pausing as he does, and watching him reach over to grab a single rose stalk. Doe eyes smiling from under the cap, he offers the rose to you. Sheepishly, he turns as you accept it, heading straight for the counter where a young lady waits, having seen the whole interaction. She smiles knowingly, grabbing the flowers and skillfully wrapping them with brown paper. As she sticks the last tape over the bouquet and covers it with a sticker, she glances up curiously. “Are you two new here?” Jungkook’s elbow gently nudges yours. “Oh, no. We’re visiting a friend.” “Oh, how nice.” She says, eyeing Jungkook, who pays the amount in cash. “Well I hope they like the flowers!” “Thanks.” Jungkook says out of courtesy, then sneaking a glance at you when he remembers he’s not supposed to speak to anyone. Thankfully it didn’t matter to the cashier, who goes back to what she was doing prior after wishing you a lovely day. 

Flowers were the only thing on Jungkook’s list, and the two of you then got on a bus just five minutes away from the mall. He only briefly checks the route information before confirming which bus to take. Still having no idea where you’re going, you follow him blindly, trusting that he’ll figure it out. Only two others get on the bus at the same time, a woman in scrubs who takes the seat at the back, resting her head against the window as soon as she gets comfortable, and a young man with headphones on, eyes glued to a game he plays on his phone. Throughout the ride, Jungkook is quiet, completely absorbed into taking in the scenes out the window. The flowers lay in his lap, held so carefully to make sure they don’t get crushed. You watch the way his eyes sometimes fall to the bouquet, and realise how special this person is to him. Who could it be? You wonder. Maybe Suga? But flowers are an odd choice. Unless he’s recovering from something. And why at this random town two hours away? Fifteen minutes later, you reach the stop. Jungkook presses the bell and taps your thigh to signal you to get off. As the bus drives off, it leaves the two of you standing amidst a gust of smoke from the exhaust. Awaiting his next direction, Jungkook slips his hand in yours. Without saying much, he crosses to the other side of the road and takes you on a stroll down the street. At three in the afternoon, the clear, blue sky puts you in a cheerful mood. You don’t even mind the long walk with how picturesque everything looks here. Brown leaves have fallen on the ground lining the pathway, a cool breeze picking up every now and then and the smell of bread being blown in your direction from a nearby bakery. Everyone walks without rushing, and cars drive by without revving their engines or honking. Your arms linked together swing in between your bodies. “It’s just up ahead.” Jungkook informs you. Though you’ve had plenty of time to spend with Jungkook back at the apartment, the change of pace and environment makes everything a hundred times better. What more, Jungkook seems to be in the best mood you’ve seen him since. “Jungkook.” “Hm?” He turns to look at you. “Is this your hometown?” You get your answer when his steps slow down for a second and his interest moves to the cracks in the pavement as you continue to walk. “How’d you know?” “I figured,” you shrug, “Jaemin said something in the car earlier, and you just seem so comfortable here.” He nods, squeezing your hand. “This is where I’m from. Things have changed much but…some things are still the same.” You’re dying to ask more, but his eyes glaze over as he sinks into his own memories of the place, and you can feel the homesickness practically oozing out of his bones. A part of him still feels connected to this place after all this time, even when it’s where he experienced his first and gut-wrenching heartbreak of his life. And ten minutes later, you realise why. It clicks the moment you walk up a small hill with a narrow pathway, lined with shrubbery. Upon reaching the top of the hill, it expands into a gated area where hundreds of graves lie. “Are we…” You trail off as he carries on walking, not letting go of the grip on your hand behind him. The one he’s looking for is further back, passing by rows and rows of others who have left, and a handful of other people who are here to visit. Jungkook eventually comes to a stop and you watch his back as he takes another deep breath. From up the hill, though it’s not much higher than the roads, a nice view of the town greets you, just enough to see the roofs of nearby houses. 

Turning back, you see Jungkook take the first step towards one of the headstones. He stops right by the foot of it, and takes a moment to himself while you stay in your spot. Jungkook takes his cap off and pulls down his mask before kneeling on the ground to lay the flowers. He calls you over with a nod and there’s a tremble in your steps, feeling the jitters in your tummy. The headstone is a little darker than the others around it, but the lack of weeds growing around it tells you it’s cared for in some way. You kneel by Jungkook’s side, reading the carving on the headstone. Jeon Jung-Ah. “This is…” “My sister.” He smiles, teary eyed. While you make yourself comfortable, Jungkook brushes dirt off the stone and picks any stray growth around the area. He spends a long time caring for his sister in the only way he can, while whispering updates about his life to her. He fills her in on what’s happened, about you, and how he has to leave and won’t be able to see her for some time. “It’ll be years before I can come visit you again.” He sighs after, touching the headstone. You watch him from the side with admiration in your eyes, how he’s so soft and gentle while speaking. Jungkook looks at you. “Do you come back often?” You ask. “Only in the last couple of years.” Jungkook admits, knowing it took him far too long to build up the courage to come back. “For so long I’d left this part of me behind. I wanted to forget everything and everyone. But it always made me feel guilty, like I left her behind too.” “One night when I was sick of work, I decided to drive back here. I felt ill stepping back into town, bombarded with all the bad memories of this place, but I just missed her so much. It was right when I was starting to get disconnected with things at work, and Kim and Suga…I needed someone to talk to and she was the only person I wanted to talk to.” “So you ended up here.” He nods, scooting closer so your legs touch. “I can’t remember well but before I ran off I think I only ever visited her once. So I spent all night trying to find her. After all these years, being right here feels like home more than anything else. Even if she is…” The gleam in his eyes disappears, struggling to keep his emotions at bay. Your warm hand reaches for his on his lap, squeezing tight. “She’ll always be with you. In here.” You point to his heart and he chuckles. “Hey. That’s my line.” He blinks the tears away and leans in to plant a kiss on your forehead. He looks at you like he has a lot to say. “You know, back then I asked if she could send me a sign, anything, to nudge me in the right direction. And then shortly after, Namjoon appeared. I came back again and asked for another sign…just to be sure. And then I met you.” Hair blowing in the gentle breeze, Jungkook’s gaze on you is tender. He’s never shared this with you before, and the sheepish look on his face before turning away chuckling tells you he wasn’t planning to. “How lucky,” you say and he looks at you confused, “to have someone so special watching over you.” Jungkook smiles, never having thought of it that way. “Yeah, I guess I am lucky.”

“She’d be proud of you.” You nod. “Of the person you’ve become.” The lump in his throat grows larger but he swallows it down. His eyes start stinging and he curses himself for not being able to stop a tear from falling off the side of his face, quickly wiping it away with the back of his hand. “I don’t know.” He laughs. “She probably would’ve smacked me in the head if she knew what I got into.” “But it all led up to the you that’s here right now.” You say. “A smart, sensible, responsible and brave man.” “And handsome?” You roll your eyes, but feel relieved knowing he can joke at a time like this. “Yes. Handsome too.” Jungkook laughs, pulling you into his arms. Blue skies eventually turn orange as the sun starts to set, and the winds get stronger, blowing leaves across the plot of land. You say your goodbye to Jung-Ah and wait by the side to let Jungkook have some privacy. His fingers never leave her headstone as he speaks, and you know it pains him to have to leave her again. While you can’t hear exactly what he’s saying, his form is clearly more relaxed than before. You take a moment to look at the view, the orange hue resting over the town, birds flying overhead and the sound of kids laughing as they ride their bicycles home after a day at the park. You wonder which one of these roofs used to house Jungkook as a child, if his family were still there, and what would they say if they saw him now. Jungkook’s hand slips into yours and pushes the thoughts out of you. “Ready?” He asks, shoulders feeling lighter than before. You nod. “Are you?” Taken aback by your question, he stares out at the view. This place that used to be all he knew, then all he wanted to forget, is now a place he can no longer call home. Only bits and pieces of the memories he shares with his sister keep him tied here. There may be a lot to unpack, and while he’s settled one part of his troubled life, he doesn’t think he can handle thinking about the past again. “Let’s go.” He says, kissing your temple. The two of you head towards the location Jaemin had given, taking your time. Jaemin was already waiting at the spot, but says nothing when you climb back inside the car, only nodding in the rear view mirror before driving off. Jungkook looks out the window as he does, taking in every little detail. Who knows when he’ll be back, and if things might even be as they are now. Questions about his family still plague your mind, but it’s not something you want him to be burdened with right now. So you let him relive his memories with his sister; smiling at the streets they used to ride down, the school gate she used to wait for him by, the candy shop she’d share half her allowance money on to splurge on sweets with him, and the hill she now lay to rest on, awaiting his return.

⎼

The incessant stinging in your chest won’t go away. Neither will the lump in your throat, and your face muscles are tired from tensing up every time you feel a pinch in the bridge of your nose. Across the room, you watch Jungkook hand over his luggage to Jaemin, accompanied by two other agents. As the door shuts, his eyes search for yours and you don’t turn away in time to hide the pain. Before he can utter a word, you rush in the direction of the room. Standing at the doorway, he laughs when he finds you sitting on the edge of the bed with a pillow pressed against your face, sniffling into it. “I’m not crying.” You say, muffled. Footsteps approach and next thing you know the pillow gets pried away from your fingers. Jungkook caresses your frowning face, cheeks streamed with tears and eyes fresh with new ones about to fall. “It’s just that there’s something in my eyes.” Jungkook laughs again, and lowers himself to press his lips against yours. “It’s okay to be sad.” Grabbing his hands, you shake your head in disagreement. “I don’t want to ruin our last day together.” He hates that those words came out of your mouth, that there is even something as a last day together. “Crying won’t ruin it.” He states, “Actually, not crying would be worse. What? Can’t wait for me to leave?” Laughter leaves your lips, calming his own strained heart while the sleeves of your shirt soak up lingering tears. “You’re an idiot.” You say lovingly, landing your head against his chest. The last week of pretending everything is fine has come to an end. Pushing this move to the back of your minds was the only way either of you could fully live in the moment. But now, reality’s bursting through the doors, claiming its right to your happiness. Every night, you secretly wished for Namjoon to barge through the front door just to announce that Jungkook wouldn’t need to leave after all, the case is settled, Jungkook’s safety not compromised. But that never happened. “One last day.” The words sting. Even more for him, you think, though he does a good job of masking it. It didn’t take a lot to convince Jaemin this time, though you think he might’ve developed a soft spot for Jungkook now, or maybe it was out of pity that he’s allowed one last outing. Your apartment welcomes Jungkook with a familiar scent of lavender mixed with a pot of hot cocoa steaming on the stove. After a brief greeting with Hana who then left for class, he climbs into the comfort of your soft, squeaky bed. While you drop your bag of clothes in the corner, Jungkook’s eyes find the now wilted flowers on your table by the window. Rolling to his feet, he gently touches one of the wilted petals with the pads of his fingers. But his attention quickly shifts to a framed couple photo, next to one of your friend group. Thumb grazing tenderly over your face, he feels like a rope’s tightened around his chest. At your touch, his shoulders drop, your arms snaking over his waist, pressing your body against him. “You can have it if you want.” He arranges it back in place, shaking his head. “I have plenty.” “Good,” his hands cup your face as he turns, “you won’t forget me then.” “Never.” He kisses you. “I’ll die before that happens.” You giggle, getting on your toes for another kiss. “Same.” 

⎼

“I can’t let you out.” The car slows down and comes to a stop by the street across campus. Jaemin looks apologetic. “I know.” Jungkook’s back faces you as his eyes stay locked on the scenes outside. Rolling the window down slightly, the hustle and bustle of the student body takes him back to boring lectures, laughing with friends, training sessions, lunch by the water fountain, the track field, walking to class with you. Leaving the first time was painful enough, but there was always a chance to return. This time, the future’s unpredictable enough to keep his expectations to a minimum. Getting into college was always something he yearned for, one of the only things he had spent years getting Kim to agree to. On the condition he would supply drugs from inside, Kim paid for his tuition, and that was one of the first times Jungkook felt he truly had a hold of his life. Now, it’s only something he can reminisce about. When your fingers slip between his, he squeezes tight. And as the car picks up speed, Jungkook bids a silent goodbye to his unfulfilled college dream. Eventually the building disappears in the rear view mirror, and he heaves out a loaded sigh. The frat house remains as Jungkook remembers it to be, just a little cleaner. Stepping into his room feels like nostalgia, like going back to his childhood room. An orange glow streams in from the window, specs of dust floating in the air. Most of his stuff now packed in boxes, thanks to you, leaves the room the neatest it’s ever been since he claimed it on day one, having fought Taehyung for it. Standing in the middle, slow steps as he takes it all in, Jungkook feels something tugging at his heartstrings. “Why is this so difficult…” He murmurs and you wipe the single tear that escaped. Sucking in a breath, he throws his head back to pull himself together. “This has been your place for the last few years, of course it’s going to be tough to let go.” You say gently, and he nods, running his palm over his cheek. Jungkook flips through a stack of notes on his desk, smiling as he recalls the late nights, stressing over assignments and other stuff that he didn’t bother with until he wanted to impress you with good grades. Organised by colour, his clothes hang neatly, just the way he likes them. Taking on a new identity also meant he’d have to dress completely differently, leaving him no choice but to let them go. Perhaps the other guys would want them. His attention shifts suddenly to the emptiness outside. “It’s so quiet.” Jaemin had contacted Hoseok prior, ensuring that none of the other guys would be around. Jungkook knew that, but it feels weird anyway; no clunking from the kitchen from someone messing up dinner, no screaming at the television over a game, no mindless chatter filling up the house. Things he didn’t think much of before, now he’s going to miss. Sitting quietly on his bed, you smile cautiously. You realise it’s best to let him feel what he needs to feel, to be able to come to terms with what’s happening. “What?” He asks, smile tugging on one side. 

“Nothing.” You shrug, clocking the wicked smile he has on. “You’re cute when you’re serious. Like a rabbit sensing danger.” Finger under your chin to guide you towards him, he leans in and speaks in the teasing way he does. “Who’s the rabbit and who’s the danger here?” “You’re the ra⎼” Trailing off, your voice was barely a whisper as he brings himself closer, pressing his lips into yours in a gentle kiss. One that causes butterflies in your tummy and has you gasping for more. “Cute.” He mocks you. Jungkook’s mischievous grin is one you’ve missed, bringing you back to the early days of your relationship. Not that there’s anything wrong with sweet boyfriend Jungkook, but his assertive self always kept you wanting more. “Remember the first time we⎼” “Yeah.” Amused at how quickly you respond, his knee finds a place between your thighs, forcing you to scoot back. “Wanna re-enact?” “Like…like roleplay?” His brows raise. “Didn’t know you were into that.” “You never asked.” You simply say, earning a huff of annoyance from him. Hands grip your thighs on each side. “So you casually bring it up the day before I leave. So mean.” You giggle as he lifts your bottom half to shift you in the right position. Losing your balance from the sudden movement, your elbows give in, head thumping against the lone pillow, causing a blast of dust flying everywhere. Coughing uncontrollably, he pushes the window open, waving his hands around. Your laughter fills the room, clutching your middle as he struggles to catch his breath. “Oops,” you say between giggles. Furrowed brows turn into a big grin as he breaks into laughter himself. “Well that ruined the mood.” “Did it?” Your pursed lips keep his attention, until your finger hooks over your collar, tugging the material down to expose your cleavage. “How about now?” “Oh⎼ oh yeah, it’s back⎼” He dives straight for the exposed skin, peppering kisses as you laugh, ringing melodiously in his ear. The sound is something he never wants to forget; his insides feel mushy, and tingly, and exhilarated. The feeling intensifies with the charming grin on your face. Your laughter slows down, nodding to question his change in demeanour. The air between you feels light, and the world around you disappears in that moment you let yourself sink into his tender gaze. “What?” You ask shyly. “Nothing.” He says in a whisper, like he’s in a daze. “Good to know some things don’t change.” 

Heads snapping to the side, Jungkook stiffens at the intruder only to sigh in exasperation. Shifting upright, he fixes his hair, directing his gaze to the carpet instead. “Do you ever mind your own business⎼” “Woah,” Jimin blinks, “deja vu.” “What are you even doing here?” “I live here.” At that moment, the old Jungkook comes back, clicking his tongue at the older one’s response. It only excites Jimin, having missed their constant back and forth. It’s just not the same annoying the others. “Feels like it was just yesterday when I walked in on you two lovebirds, and⎼” “And you still don’t have any boundaries.” Jungkook’s head tilt and raised brow doesn’t faze him, simply patting the younger one’s face, then pulling him in for a forced hug. “I’ve missed this!” “He misses it too, just too stubborn to show it.” He glares at you for the remark and you stick your tongue out at him. Jimin exhales obnoxiously, stepping back with hands on his hips. “Can’t wait for you to move back. Then it’ll be just like old times.” Jungkook stares back blankly, and Jimin doesn’t notice the lack of response, already looking through the packed boxes, planning to put things back to where they’re supposed to go. A couple of times, his mouth opens to say something, but he can’t utter a word. They would only be told tonight, Jungkook decided, despite Namjoon offering to do it early. The problem was that he didn’t know how to break the news. Hand on his shoulder to get his attention, you lean in to whisper, “Do you want to tell him?” Jimin continues to rummage through the boxes, taking it upon himself to remove some of the clothes you packed away. He rambles on about something neither of you are paying attention to. “I’ll do it with you.” You lace your fingers with his. Diverting his gaze to the carpet to think about it for a while, Jungkook then presses his lips into a line and nods in agreement. You nod encouragingly. “Jimin, there’s something you should know.”

⎼

The gentle breeze grazes over your skin, causing goosebumps to appear. It smells of fresh grass and earth, and a little hint of Jungkook’s cologne, with his jacket wrapped comfortably around your shoulders. Right by the river, a path stretches along its length, buzzing with cyclists, runners, and the public. Near the edge of the water, crowds of people sit on the steps, waiting for the light show display along a bridge which travels across the river. Higher up on a hill, far away from the masses, your thigh brushes against Jungkook’s, arm hooked around his and your head on his shoulder. Churro in hand, he brings the snack to you, humming as you take a bite. “That’s good, actually.” He agrees, taking a bite himself. “7 out of 10.” “Seven?” You tilt your head up. “This is an 8.5 at least.” “Still, it’s better than the ones you tried to make.” Licking sugar off his fingers, he ignores the way your jaw drops till you land a smack to his chest. You recall the time you decided to try making churros of your own, only end up charring most of them, and getting multiple burn marks from splattering oil. He, of course, had been there to treat your wounds while snickering at the fail. “You’re so mean.” Offering a kiss to your cheek as an apology, he reaches over the spread of food laid out before you on a picnic mat, grabbing your favourite mango pudding. Despite the pout, you welcome a spoonful of it and break into a shy smile as he looks on with a tender smile. “You know I love your terrible cooking.” He braces as your fist makes contact with his arm. “It’s not my fault you have expensive taste.” “I’m not sure wanting food to be edible is having expensive taste, but okay.” You can’t even fight the laughter that spills out, knowing exactly how terrible some of the things you make turn out. “When you get back, I’ll cook the best meal you’ve ever had, you’ll see!” Jungkook chuckles, a hopeful look in his eyes. “Can’t wait.” You lock eyes for a little longer, till the sounds of amazement and cheering float through the crowd below as the light show begins. Streaks of rainbow coloured lights shine up into the night, as water jets activate at the same time, with music playing in sync. It’s a show you’ve seen many times before, and every single time it amazes you. But this time, your attention towards Jungkook remains undivided. You tuck the stray hairs behind his ear. “It’s getting long.” He smiles at your comment while you continue to fix his hair. “Maybe I’ll grow it out.” “Long hair?” Your nose scrunches up. “I don’t see it.” “You might not even recognise me when I come back.” You tilt your head in the way he finds adorable. “I’ll more likely forget how to make ramyeon before I forget how you look like.” His brows furrow. “Odd thing to say considering you can’t even make instant noodles without drying out the soup too much.” You huff. “That was one time and I was distracted because you were parading around the house naked.” “Yeah, you like that huh?” “Oh shut up.” 

Jungkook’s laughter feels like a snug embrace, keeping you safe from the chaos of the world around you. His head drops to your lap and he welcomes your touch, tracing figures over his skin. “You’re so mean tonight. Giving my cooking so much flak.” “Oh baby, I love your cooking.” He sighs. “It reminds me that no matter how perfect someone is, they have to suck at one thing.” Yelping at the onslaught of pinches on his side, Jungkook flails about, reaching for your hand. Leaving the comfort of your thigh, he gets to his knees, now gripping both your wrists and sending a kiss to your scowl as he gets behind you, crossing your arms over your body. Back resting against him now, legs clipping you tight between him, he forcefully keeps you pressed against him, keeping your arms down. “You’re strong.”

“You’re annoying.” 

His cheek rests against your head, ignoring the squirming till you give up. “You laugh, but you’re gonna miss it.” “Yeah.” He says, a little calmer. “I will, actually.” With your back against his chest, you feel the thumping of his heart, comforting and calming. There’s a comfortable silence that falls around the two of you. “How…how long do you think it’ll take?” You ask the uncertain. “I don’t know.” He says, loosening his grip when you shift to get comfortable. “Trials usually take years to even proceed with.” “Years.” You echo it to yourself. You straighten up, so you can shift between his feet to face him slightly. He doesn’t let go of the chance to press his lips to your cheek. “Isn’t it unfair? We’ve only just got the chance to be together again…like normal people.” “I’ve never done long distance before.” You say, and you feel the shift of his head as he smiles. “What?” “Long distance.” You repeat. “That’s what we’re gonna be till you’re back.” Jungkook swells with confidence at this new way of putting it. “I like that.” You smile shyly. “Did you know that 60% of long distance relationships work out? The key is communication.” “Someone’s done their research.” Jungkook’s tickled by your sudden announcement. “You’re cute. Communication’s gonna be a little hard though.” “You’ll write to me, won’t you?” “Of course.” 

Sighing, you recall the rules Namjoon had gone through with you about communication. Strictly none allowed. But, he’s willing to allow letters. They’d have to go through them though, and will be read through before handing over to each of you. “I’ll write to you every month.” Jungkook says. “It’ll probably take weeks for it to reach you anyway, and to wait for you to respond.” “I’ll keep you updated on what’s going on here.” “There is a problem though.” “What?” You turn to him with his brows furrowed and deep in thought. He blinks. “How will you send nudes?” You shove his face, enough you send him flying back and he laughs, falling to the grass. “Irritating.” He jolts himself back up, peppering you with apology kisses and you accept them willingly, tilting your head enough for him to sneak down your neck as he sways your bodies side to side. “But you know I was thinking,” he kisses, “if you do want to press pause⎼” You freeze, wondering if you heard that right. “I’m just saying, we don’t know when I’ll be back. And I wouldn’t want to hold you back if you end up meeting someone that you think you’d hit it off with.” Jungkook looks at the back of your head, unmoving, and wonders if you were considering it. “Of course, I don’t want that. I love you but I also want you to be happy and if that means⎼” Your palm comes into contact with his cheek. It was a slap, but so gentle and soft that he wonders if it even happened. You do it again, more like a tap this time. “How could you say that? You think I could ever be happy with someone else?” “I don’t want to hold you back.” “Then you should’ve let me go before we got serious.” A little hurt flashes across his face. “After everything, you still think I’d rather be with someone else?” You say softly, caressing his cheeks, eyes softening with concern. “You’re my boyfriend. I love you. Only you.” He smiles just a little. “Sorry. It was just a suggestion.” “A terrible one.” You throw yourself into him, wrapping around his neck. “I can never be happy with anyone else but you.” “Really?” “You silly goose.” Jungkook visibly relaxes in your arms, feeling idiotic to have even brought that up. The night goes on as you lay there in each other’s arms, looking up at the night sky as opposed to the light show. Grey clouds inch towards where you are, slowly hiding the moon away from you. Jungkook stares at your side, taking in this view of you. When you do the same, Jungkook moves in to plant a kiss, savouring it till thunder starts to rumble above you. Just as you make it back to the car where Jaemin rests, it starts to drizzle. Jaemin turns in his seat, frowning when Jungkook pauses by the open door. He turns his back to the car and sees you standing a foot behind him with your palm up to the sky, letting the raindrops touch your skin. Stepping away from the car, standing before you, wet strands of hair sticks to his face. And as the rain gets heavier, the two of you seem to share the same thought. His hand clutches yours, giggling as the two of you make a run for it, ignoring the yells coming from the car. Back up the hill, in the open space, Jungkook and you dance and frolic around in the rain, laughing your hearts out gleefully. He lifts you in his arms, spinning you in circles as you extend your arms out, welcoming the rain as it washes all your sorrows away. He sets you down gently, and you brush the hair away from his face. “You make me so happy.” You say over the rain. “I love you more than anything.” “I love you too baby. You're my whole world.” Jungkook says, grabbing your hand in his. “I’ll wait for you no matter how long it takes.” Jungkook kisses you fervently in the rain, drenched and shivering, with nothing left to lose. 

⎼

Trees sway in the wind, and lighting flashes occasionally followed by the rumbling of thunder in the distance as the storm continues to pour down. The heavy rain caused a massive traffic jam below, but thankfully you managed to return before getting caught in it. In the comfort of the apartment, warm and dry, the lamp in the corner casts a dim orange hue perfect for a cozy night. Jungkook’s lips move gently against yours, knuckles grazing your cheek tenderly as his arm keeps you steady around the waist. Your hips sway against his, fueling the tent growing under his sweats. Lips slightly sore and swollen, his doe eyes stare into yours when you break the kiss, resting his head against the headboard behind. The bittersweet feeling of having to part from you, something he’d been suppressing, starts creeping into his heart, Finger tracing over his lips, his eyes fall shut as you go over his features; his eyes, nose, cheekbones, jaw. Your touch always does something to him, something so calming and natural about the way you move against him, even if it’s just the touch of a finger. The arm around you instinctively pulls you closer, just so your bodies meet, making it easier to capture you in another kiss, one much hungrier than before. Out of breath from his intensity, you pull away to calm yourself. But Jungkook doesn’t stop, pushing off from the headboard, leaning forward to press kisses to your cheek, trailing over your jaw and down to your neck. The moment he finds your sweet spot, your thighs squeeze around him in response and he hums against your skin when you start to rock your hips against him. His hands slide up your sides, tugging your camisole along with them up and over your head, exposing your bare breasts to the cool air. Rough hands cup them in his palm, thumb grazing over your erect nipples, and your body twitches at the sensation. You bite your bottom lip as he takes one of your tits in his mouth while kneading the other. When he takes a nipple between his teeth, your hip bucks in response, and he groans at the friction. Flips your positions, he now hovers above you, fitting nicely between your legs. His shirt comes off easily much to your delight, hands grazing over his chest. The dim light casts shadows over his body, giving him an ethereal glow. Jungkook grins at the obvious excitement in your expression, finding it absolutely adorable how you can’t hide the rise of your cheekbones, choosing to hide behind a tight-lipped smile. “You like that, huh?” His mouth hovers over yours, whispering against your lips while his hands snake down your body, and under your shorts.

You hum when his fingers fondle over your folds, and you return the favour, hand slipping past the hem of his sweats, exhaling at the sudden contact of your palm to his cock. Foreheads sticking to each other, Jungkook sucks in a breath as you rub against him. Two fingers slip inside you, and you lose all focus, gripping his cock, unmoving. Fingers slipping in and out of you keeps you distracted as you try to chase that high. The curve of his fingers hit the right spot each time, having memorised you well. Delighted at your response but protesting your lack of movement, he takes it upon himself and bucks his hips, fucking into your grip. Jungkook pauses, and your heart sinks at the loss. As he peels your hand off him, Jungkook tugs down your shorts, sucking in a breath at the glistening sight before him. Legs now spread before him, Jungkook slips four fingers into your dripping hole, cock twitching at the way you writhe. Sheets balled up in your fists, your chest heaves as you feel the rush of adrenaline flowing through you, and it only takes the thrilling sensation of Jungkook’s warm breath on your cunt, sucking on your clit, to have you seeing stars. Your sweet moans fill the room as you ride his face, bucking your hips wildly. Jungkook licks every last bit of your cum, giving your cunt a kiss before sliding up to let you taste yourself. Jungkook gets on his knees and you watch as he removes his sweats, cock springing up proudly against his abs. Finding the strength to sit up, crawling towards him, your doe eyes look up at him for permission. “Fuck.” He can never say no. Not when you look so pretty. Just at the sight of you, his cock starts to throb. It twitches the moment you start with a kiss to the base of his shaft. Taking your time, you plant sloppy kisses along his length till you get to the top. And the moment your mouth wraps around his tip, Jungkook’s body melts into the mattress, heat rushing through him, rewarding you with his sensual moans. He watches how his cock disappears into your mouth as you take in his entire length. Fingers wrap around your hair as he gently rocks his hips against you. He watches how his cock disappears into your mouth as you take the entirety of his length. His fingers wrap around your hair, as he gently moves his hips against you. “Oh baby⎼” A rush flows through his veins when you look up at him. Both hands now covering his length, twisting your wrists as you pump, your mouth pays special attention to his tip. His hips buck up in reflex, and you almost gag from the sudden movement, but recover quickly. A guttural sound escapes him and he pulls your head back, slowly removing himself from you, then tapping his cock against your tongue as his pre-cum leaks all over it. “Good girl.” He purrs, and his cock glistens as you lick every last bit of him. Sitting back, Jungkook lets you climb on top, positioning your entrance with his dick. With his hands on your hips, easing you down, your thighs tremble as his tip enters, letting out a sweet moan as you lower yourself down all the way. Jungkook doesn’t realise how he holds his breath as he watches you take all of him, and he lets you have a moment, fingers digging into the flesh of your hips when he sees the pure look of ecstasy on your face. As you start to move, he’s hypnotised by the sway of your hips, the bounce of your tits and the blissed out expression on your face. A goddess in his eyes, it forces him to sit up, sucking the skin against your collarbone. Palms on the bed to keep him steady, Jungkook leans back to watch the way you move, and you heat up under his gaze. 

He can’t keep his hands off you, running them across your soft skin, wanting to touch every inch of you and claim your body as his alone. Thrusting his hips up while you grind, reaching deeper each time, you gasp at every time he manages to hit the spot. A loud smack echoes as his palms land against your ass, and you yelp out in pain and pleasure, disrupting your flow as your hips twitch, and he growls at the feeling of your walls clenching around him. You giggle as you fall forward, struggling to stay up, using his chest to support you. He glows at the sound of your laughter, watching you hover over him with your faces barely touching. “Do it again.” As you say it with such innocence, yet sensual tone, Jungkook thinks he might go crazy. His arm wraps around your waist as he lands another smack, and you jump, bouncing down onto his cock, nails digging into his shoulders. “Like that?” You nod, embarrassed at the request and your body’s reaction. But Jungkook can’t get enough of it, the strangled whimpers you make as his palm meets the skin of your ass again, and again and again⎼ till you cry out, shaking as you cum, convulsing around his cock and he rolls his hips to let you ride it out, tenderly rubbing the sore spot on your ass. Warm, sticky liquid flows down his hard cock and you bite your lip bashfully. But it turns him on even more. Your back drops to the mattress, and the two of you are separated momentarily, till you feel him prodding against your entrance once again. Jungkook’s heart races when you smile at him, suddenly reminded of that ache in his chest. You gasp when he slides in, easily this time. Hands caging you in on each side, Jungkook brushes away the hairs sticking to your face as he starts with long and slow strokes, fully absorbed in the erotic sounds you make, with sensual eyes staring up at him. His pretty eyes sparkle above you, staring deep into yours, memorising every bit of detail. His gaze drops down to where your bodies connect, the gentle thrusts of his hips against yours, your hips rolling up in sync, where you become one with each other. The ache in his chest grows, threatening to spill out, and he doesn’t know what to do with it. But then you pull him in for a kiss, slow and intimate, lips melting with each other, and the ache manifests into something more familiar, the intense adoration he holds for you, wanting to worship your very being. You taste a hint of saltiness in the kiss, and then realise the stray tear fallen down his face. Your thumb caresses his cheek with concern, and he leans into your touch, whispering, “I love you.” It pierces deep into your soul, intoxicating you with thoughts of him and only him. A garden blooms in your chest, fueled by your feelings for him. Time seems to stop in that moment, and you drown in his eyes, choking on your love, heart pounding in your ears. Only you and Jungkook exist in this moment, souls tied together by an invisible string. He is yours. And you are his. Forever. Jungkook picks up the pace in his thrusts, and your legs wrap around him, allowing him to hit deeper. Skin sticking to each other, with your arms around his shoulders to keep him close, your bodies heat up, hearts beating against the other. Jungkook peppers kisses on your chest, mouthing against your nipples while you moan at every thrust. He starts to feel the clenching of your walls, groaning at the way it sucks his cock in every time. “Baby…” you whisper, hands on his chest. “Yeah?” He kisses the crook of your neck. “What is it, my love?” Overwhelmed by a wave of emotions, they rush through your body, tears forming in your eyes. Memories of your time with him come to mind. From the very first time you saw him at the cafe, your first kiss, to the time he took a bullet for you, and everything in between.

Jungkook captures your lips in a kiss, in an effort to soothe you, but it only adds fuel to the fire burning in the pit of your core. He picks up on it, pushing himself up to grab your hips, angling it in the way he knows would hit the spot that has your eyes rolling back. Pounding into you harder, a string of moans from you makes his dick twitch inside. The tension in his core tells him he’s close, and he digs into the flesh of your hips. You reach for him, and Jungkook presses your bodies together once again, maintaining his pace as he rolls his hips with yours. “Jungkook,” you murmur, breath hitching. Your mouth parts, and chest starts heaving, and he knows you’re close. You force your eyes open as you feel it coming, cupping the side of his face as tears stream down yours. “I love you too.” You gasp as the tension snaps, legs shaking around him and body shivering as you dig your nails into his shoulders, orgasm spilling out of you in waves. As you convulse around him, mixed with the lewd sounds coming out of you, you feel the throbbing of Jungkook’s cock, and seconds later with a strangled moan against your ear, Jungkook spurts warm liquid inside of you, mixing with your own cum. The sound of his breathing is all you can hear apart from the throbbing of your head, as he rests his head next to yours, body warm and heavy on top of you. Arms around his middle, you kiss his shoulders where you’d left marks from before. Jungkook’s disheveled hair, half-lidded eyes and silly smile greets you when he finally gets the energy to lift his head. Your body shivers as he removes himself, still sensitive to the touch. He lies down on his side, next to you, wiping the tear stains off your cheeks. Neither of you say a word, knowing all there is to say has been said. You press your head to his chest, listening to the sound of his heart, beating in rhythm with yours.

⎼

The storm carried on till morning, now simmered down to a drizzle, and the skies remain cloudy and gloomy. In the car, next to Jungkook, your head rests on his shoulder, hugging his arm with your fingers interlaced. Every now and then his hand would squeeze yours, grounding him in the moment. It’s a long drive, though you were thankful for the morning traffic, giving you a little extra time with him. Neither of you barely got any rest last night, just laying in each other’s arms, eventually dozing off close to sunrise. The car drives out of the city, onto a long stretch of a highway. It finally turns down an exit with minimal other cars going in the same direction, driving ahead where greenery slowly turns into open land, dry and deserted. The other cars drive past as the car slows down nearing a rest stop, pulling up into the parking lot, void of others. It’s the only building for miles and miles, a diner in the middle of nowhere. Jaemin lowers his window slightly, awaiting a thumbs up from the waitress through the side window of the diner, before pulling up into a slot. It must be their own people. While the rain had stopped as you left the city, the clouds seemed to have followed you here, gathering above and announcing their presence with the rumble of thunder. Droplets of water begin to race down the windows as it starts to rain again. “The others should be here soon.” Jaemin says, checking his phone. You look at Jungkook, smiling at him as you contemplate on saying your goodbye right here. He pulls you in a hug, nestling his head on your shoulder and memorising your scent. The act alone brings tears to your eyes, knowing it’ll be one of the last times you’ll be in his arms for a while. But you pull yourself together, “It’ll be okay.” You whisper, and he nods. Soon, two other cars enter the lot, five minutes apart. The door slides open and Namjoon steps out, nodding to the driver and Jaemin before sliding the door to your car. “Good morning.” He exhales, extending a hand out to Jungkook, helping him out. Two other agents stand beside them, holding up big black umbrellas, sheltering them from the rain. From the other car, Namjoon gestures towards the rest, and Jungkook sees the familiar faces of his friends, each happy to see him. Bracing himself, he swallows the lump in his throat, glancing back momentarily when he feels your touch on his back, encouraging him. 

“I’m kinda nervous but here goes,” he heaves out, looking around at the three of them. “Thanks for coming down to see me, I know this was super last minute, and I don't have much time, but I just wanted to say thank you for sticking around, and for being my friends, back then and now.” “Things have been crazy the last few months; I got shot, almost died, my girlfriend got kidnapped,” he shakes his head and the others chuckle, “it’s just been a lot, and I’m sorry for getting you guys involved in any way.” “As you’ve all heard, I'm gonna be away for some time.” He pauses when you sniff, sneaking a glance at you. “For how long, I don’t know. And unfortunately, it’ll be off the grid, so you won’t be able to reach me until I eventually come back. If I come back. We don’t know what the future will hold so⎼” Jungkook falters backwards when Hana rushes in for a hug, a tissue crumpled in her fist. “We’ll be waiting.” He wraps his arms around her shoulder, and she pulls away, dabbing the tissue against her eyes. “Take care, okay? Come back safe.” “Of course. Thanks Hana.” Jungkook sighs as he turns to you, tearing up after seeing her do the same. “I know she’s really stubborn and all, sorry I won’t be there to keep her in check, you’re just gonna have to deal with it I guess.” You land a punch on his back and they laugh. “Look after her for me?” “I definitely will.” There’s a sad smile on her face as she shakes his hand, before stepping to your side, rubbing a hand on your back. Jimin steps forward, lips quivering, the area around his eyes slightly red from crying. “My baby boy.” He says, cupping the side of Jungkook’s face. This time, Jungkook doesn’t even mind, smiling in response. “I’m gonna miss you so much.” His voice goes up an octave as he pulls Jungkook in for a hug, patting Jungkook’s head like he’s the one crying. “Me too, hyung.” Jungkook grins. “Gonna miss your constant barging into my personal space.” “I know you will.” He nods, making Jungkook laugh. “You take care. Eat well. Watch all those shows I’ve been asking you to.” “Sure.” “Don’t roll your eyes at me.” “I didn’t⎼” “You’re doing it right now.” Jungkook sucks in a breath, a familiar irritation brewing, something Jimin is an expert at bringing out. Jimin laughs at the glare he receives, messing up Jungkook’s hair. “Sorry. I just had to one last time before you go.” Jungkook visibly relaxes, laughing along with him, and extending his arms for another hug. Hoseok smiles where he stands watching them. When Jungkook turns to him next, he walks up to the younger boy and they face each other for a beat, neither knowing how to navigate this awkward situation. “Come on guys,” Namjoon motions for the rest to get inside, “let’s give them a moment.” When the door slides shut behind him, Hoseok shakes his head, “You idiot.” Jungkook’s eyes widen in surprise, till he sees the smile growing  on Hoseok’s face. “You should’ve told us sooner.” “I didn’t know how to…” Jungkook shrugs, “It’s like I keep bringing everyone bad news.” “We care about you, you know that right?” Jungkook swallows a lump in his throat. Hearing that from Hoseok is something else. “I⎼” “Even if it is bad news, we’d want to know. So we can help you.” He smiles. “You’re not alone in this life, Jungkook. You have us.” Hands trembling, and failing to stop the tears from racing down his cheeks, Jungkook sniffs, wiping his face with his sleeve. Hoseok extends his hand and Jungkook takes it only to be pulled into a hug. It’s unnatural at first, until Hoseok pats his head. He gets the same feeling he got when they were talking on the roof; a hint of nostalgia, the same feeling he used to have as a child when he spent time with his sister. His body eases into Hoseok’s hold. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, “I’m sorry for everything.”

“Stop that.” Hoseok orders, though he’s breaking out into tears as well. “I mean it. I caused a lot of trouble.” Jungkook sniffs. “Thanks for always looking out for me, and thinking of me. You’re…you’re the big brother I never had.” Hoseok’s grip tightens as the words come out of his mouth. He wishes there was more he could do, part of him still feeling guilty over how things went down between them. “Stupid Jungkook.” He giggles when he pulls away. Jungkook’s glossy eyes and red nose, and Hoseok’s tear stained face makes the other laugh. They wipe their faces bashfully. “You come back soon, okay?” Jungkook nods. “I have to ask you a favour.” Hoseok tilts his head in question. “While I’m gone, please look after her.” Jungkook glances back, though he can’t see you through the tinted windows. “She has a knack for getting into trouble. And if anyone, I think you’ll be able to keep her out of it. I trust you.” “Of course.” Hoseok grins. “But only while you’re away. After that, I’m gonna have to start charging for babysitting services.” Jungkook nods, chuckling. “But if you so much as try to make another move on her, just know that I’m gonna beat you up.” Hoseok laughs, and it’s the first time Jungkook thinks he’s ever heard his laugh, now realising how warm it makes him feel. “Don’t worry.” He takes a more serious tone. “Everything will be fine here, just know that we’ll all be waiting for your return.” “Thank you.” The rain starts to get heavier, and Jungkook gestures towards the car as he slides the door open. “You should get inside. It’s starting to really pour.” Namjoon and you exit the car as Hoseok slips inside. You grab hold of his hand as another car enters the lot, Namjoon with a knowing smile directed at you. “There’s someone else who needs to say goodbye.” Jungkook tilts his head adorably, rubbing his red nose. He eyes the car, which stops next to the ones you’re standing in between. Namjoon gets the door, bringing the umbrella along. Jungkook watches as he comes back around, with someone else walking closely next to him. His eyes go wide. Disregarding the rain, she runs right into Jungkook’s arms, hugging him tight. Still processing it, he tilts his head to make sure he’s seeing this right, before wrapping around her shoulders. “Mia! How’d you⎼” “I called her.” You say. “Told her everything.” “What the hell.” She slams her fist onto his chest, while still resting her head on him. “Why didn’t you say anything?” Jungkook chuckles. “About which part?” “Everything.” She says, pulling away, wiping her eyes. “Why did you carry that burden all by yourself? You should’ve told me. I could’ve helped you.” “I couldn’t put you at risk like that.” “Of course you couldn’t.” Jungkook touches the part of her head where a bandage is. He sighs. “I’m fine now.” “Of course you are.” He chuckles, an adoring look on his face. “I’m glad you’re okay. Now that we’re free, promise me you’ll get into college, and find a good, safe job.” Mia smiles though she struggles to keep her lips upturned. “I’ll try my best. When will you be back?” “Not sure. It’ll be a while.” Her shoulders slump in resignation. “Do you really have to go?” She turns to Namjoon who presses his lips into a thin line and shrugs. “I have to.” Jungkook sighs. “But don’t worry about me. I can take care of myself.” “I know.” Mia nods. “I’m gonna miss you, boss.” “I’m not your boss now,” he raises his palms, “you’re on your own kid.” She giggles. “I’m gonna miss you. Thanks for always looking out for me. I owe you.” “No you don’t. Go live your life.” Jungkook pulls her in for another hug. “I’ll miss you too.”

As another car pulls up, the agents start moving around you. As Mia joins the others in the car, Namjoon gestures towards Jungkook, making your heart race, hands slipping into his, squeezing tight. “We’re ready.” He says, speaking to the both of you. “I’ll go with you about halfway. You’ll be handed over to Jaemin and the local handler after.” Jungkook nods, turning towards his friends. It feels surreal, looking at the four pairs of eyes watching him with a mixture of fondness, despair and solemness. “It’s time. I have to go now. I um, really enjoyed the dinner we had, and when I come back, I really hope we can do that again, if you guys like.” “We’ll hold you to that.” Hoseok says. Everyone wishes him their last goodbyes and hugs, and he looks at you, nodding. Hand in hand, you walk with him towards the car parked on the opposite side of the lot. While you have made peace with it, you can’t help the tears that stream down your face. Jungkook’s cold hands come up to the side of your face. “I’m sorry.” Shaking your head, your hands fix his jacket, pulling it tighter around him and placing your hands on his chest. “Is it too late to request for me to come with you?” His eyes crinkle at the corners. “I told you to get in my suitcase.” You laugh, and he gently grabs on to your hands, holding them up between you. Your finger brushes against the metal around one of his, a familiar ring which catches your attention. “Do you want your ring back?” “No,” you suck in a breath, pulling out the necklace with the ring he gave you, clutching it in your fist. “You said we’d exchange this when we’re free to be with each other.” “We are free to be together.” He grins, “Just very very far apart.” You shove him playfully. “Keep that. It’ll keep you safe. A piece of me to have with you.” “Baby, you’re always with me. In here.” He points to his heart and smile widens at the way your nose scrunches up. “Silly.” His laugh dies down eventually, and you can hear the time ticking, counting down to the exact moment you’d have to part. “You know how much you mean to me right?” Jungkook says, running his tongue over his lips that have suddenly gone dry. “As much as you mean to me.” You nod. His lips quiver, and you see that little boy from a small town, losing his sister, having to leave his family in pursuit of somewhere to call home. The scared little boy who only wanted somewhere he belonged. “I love you so much Jungkook.” You say, clutching his hands. “I love you too, Y/N.” With your arms wrapped around each other, you let the warm tears stream down your face. He tilts his head to kiss you, soft and gentle, melting his lips into yours. With one last look at you, he breaks away, leaving only your intertwined hands. Behind him, Namjoon stands with his back towards you, sheltering the two of you with an umbrella. He slides the door open, a cheerless smile on his face as he turns to you. Pressing his lips to your forehead, soothing the ache in your heart, and his, Jungkook’s hand slowly slips away from yours. The emptiness you already feel, physically and emotionally, takes the breath out of your lungs. Hana hugs you tight in the car, wiping the tear stains off your face. As you’re about to leave, your cars stop right next to each other just before exiting the rest stop, about to head in opposite directions. The windows roll down, both yours and his. Hair blowing in the wind, he flashes his charming smile, one that you've ingrained into your memory. I love you. He mouths. As the cars inch forward, turning into opposite directions, Jungkook blows you a kiss, and you to him.

From the rear window, his car carries on down the long road ahead, eventually disappearing from sight, dragging your heart along with it.

⎼

Hi my love, I hope you’re well! I’ve settled in nicely here. I wish I could tell you more but you-know-who’s looking over my shoulder right now, reminding me about the million things I should be careful about while writing this, and is annoying me to death. Other than that, it’s not too bad. Although I’m already missing you terribly. They say I’m gonna have to look for a job and I’m kinda nervous. I’ve never been to a job interview before. And I’d have to wear a tie! I think it’s ridiculous but you’d like that though, wouldn’t you? Miss you. Hope you’re eating well, staying warm and out of trouble. I hope everyone else is okay too. Please give them my regards, will you? I’ll talk to you soon. Love, J.K. P.S. send nudes.

.

.

.

taglist: