My search for INTIMACY.

So now I'll try and define each level step by step and see where this takes me.

Not sure if 3 & 4 should be swapped or if there are steps i am missing but for now I’ll stick to this plan and work it.

And so what of that first meeting?  Would you rather see someone at their best only to be disappointed later that they can’t maintain that standard or would you rather see someone’s worst so that you know you can have an impact on this person’s life or that they would have an impact on yours.

This is the Concept.  I’ve mapped out a few levels and will include as much feedback as i can get but in all honesty for now i just want to be able to say.  “I put it out there” and go from there.  That little thrill will do me for a while.  Thanks for reading

Saw this title somewhere and it spoke to me saying “This would be so you to see this, read this, think this, and then do nothing about it”  but not this time.  This time i decided that i am going to keep on attempting to get at least a partial book written before i pass because hopefully it will be the most valuable thing i leave behind and it would be a shame that i was unable to properly present something completed.  I have a habit of procrastinating and putting things off until it’s too late and has to be rushed then suffers by taking short cuts which doesn’t lend itself to being anything of substance at all which leads me to start to abandon it all together.  I’ve seen myself in hindsight following that pattern too frequently so if i really do want to do something about it i guess i should just do it.

I’ll clarify that comment a bit since for some reason it seemed a little creepy when i read it.  The sense of empowerment i was going for was one where she was in control of her situation.  I will post some examples (pending clearance of guidelines).  Most of the examples i know come from Porn sites which doesn’t lend itself to be a realistic depiction of reality but please remember it’s just an example of what i perceive a possible scenario may be defended.  As for the Virtual vs Reality comparison I do strongly believe that my current perception of a virtual experience will be more real to me than any of the failed relationships i have been a party to in my past.  It will take some adjusting and adapting but that is what truly sets us apart from the other animals is our ability to change and adapt.  I am naively optimistic that by the time i have completed my story and organized all the lessons i’ve learned from it that i will  have created something that will be an acceptable substitute for any quest for perfection. 

10 posts!.  This could be the start of something simply amazing.  I hope you’ll come along for the ride and join in with stories of your own to share.

  My search for intimacy started way after i even realized it was what i craved most of all,  As you might already know i failed at my first marriage like most if not all of my closest relatives so i should have seen something in the air but no that instinctual drive that aids in the pursuit of a suitable mate needed to dose me with an ungodly amount of the love drug had me so not thinking clearly as rgis woman was way out of my league and i knew it.  I needed to act and act fast.  This woman inspired me to return to school to complete my Grade 12 which i had quit in May of my graduating year because my mother gave me the ultimatum of either go to school or get a job.  So i quit school and joined the summer reserves youth employment program.  I came from a military background (more on that later).  I’m doing some real time fact checking on a past prediction i made which would have seen us pocket $500,000 had the woman just admitted that since i took all them there fancy reading classes that she had a hard time relating to me.  She really didn’t even know me at all which i have come to realize was one of my initial symptoms which showed my quest for intimacy.  I began blogging this once before and failed to maintain a consistent flow but i didn’t abandon the idea that by Martyring myself for the sake of my children’s future childhood was the best decision i could have ever made because of the fact that more people benefited and flourished as a direct result of where i left the marriage picture.  I remain, i would think, friends with my ex-wife who has come to my rescue a few rimes since our divorce.  There is no doubt that i still love the woman, unfortunately i was still to young to stop thinking that i was a sex god and that everything would work out if we just had a little more practice but my communication skills lacked  a “Thought Brake” which basically means I'll usually blurt something out and embarrass people before really thinking ahead.  Many a time i would say something that from my mind would resonate at a different frequency when said out loud.  Somehow the words weren’t quite the right ones to clearly duplicate what my mind was trying to say  but it was already too late.  It was out there and I couldn’t take it back I just had to learn to deal with the fact that i wasn’t as smart as my wife was.  Tough pill to swallow though.  

I al starting a search forma a friend/companion to share some of the more íntimate momentos with. I hope to combine it with some virtual reality gadgets to enhance things and mechanical forcé to help really nail them to the wall. Muy mind has been unlocked and i hope to help the shy and por curious by providing a safe sexual environment that de can all embrace. I will begin with TVE topic of masturbation. Details to follow.