cant fucking sleep bc wikipedia has separate lists for vampires and for fictional vampires

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cant fucking sleep bc wikipedia has separate lists for vampires and for fictional vampires

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this baby rhino has been hanging out with a lamb and picking up on its mannerisms. this is so cute.
see more animal posts?
[video of a baby rhino flicking its ears and tail, and frolicking like a lamb despite being significantly heavier, while its lamb friend frolicks and runs around it] @becauseoftheshame
Omg
Omg that rhino trying to frolic and bound like a creature 1/3 its size. It is so beautiful and innocent. You’re a lamb, you’re a gazelle, you’re a graceful butterfly little rhino.
Crazy Yearbook Quotes From Students Back in 1911
These alarming and quirky yearbook quotes are found inside Spokane High’s Class of 19111, which include some pretty bizarre ambitions. Some of them include “ambitions” of murdering the faculty and marrying a dwarf. Take a look at their perplexing words below.
Keep reading
Clifford Dale Rinear is such a dream man
Beyonce never said white ladies couldn't get in formation
But she did say “Prove to me you got some good coordination” which is where most of you lost at..:
Maybe you can use us way up the back of the formation? We can pretend to be trees or other scenery behind the dancing?
I would like to share this beautiful passage with all of you, it’s long, but worth it. And I swear to god I didn’t alter any of this.
….
Her long hair, still wet from the shower, had been combed down her back in a wet swath. Hilda was sitting on the floor, her round, wet boobs still wet from the shower’s water. She dried off the water with a towel, which then became wet.
Hilda gasped when she saw a reflection in her bedroom mirror: through the slightly open door, she caught a glimpse of the chiseled abs and square jaw of the mysterious stranger who shared her cabin. She stood and spun around, her breasts swinging heavily with the momentum. She grabbed the door and flung it open, revealing shirtless Torolf (which is seriously his name) quivering with desire in the hallway.
Torolf was ashamed at being caught, but his shame made him even hotter – hotter for sex. He stepped into the room, and his bulging abs accidentally smushed into Hilda’s rich chest.
As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm. “Hilda,” Torolf murmured thickly, his throbbing meat wand pressing against Hilda’s warm thighs. “There is a secret I need to not tell you: You are my forbidden desire.”
Hilda had been waiting to hear these words. Her heart was lifted on golden wings and soared toward a radiant sun of perfect joy. She saw herself and Torolf happy together, bathed in the golden light of love. Her snooch got all warm, too.
“Torolf,” Hilda moaned, her lush teats straining with desire. “I need you.” Torolf, coarse abs pulsing softly in the moonlight, stood silently. Hilda looked at him expectantly. “Oh, sorry,” she added. “Torolf, I need you – sexually.”
At hearing those beautiful words, Torolf flexed his rough-hewn abs and Hilda found herself being guided to her soft bed by the sheer force of Torolf’s undulating midsection. She parted her thighs in anticipation, exposing the soft pink petals of her clunge.
Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.
Hilda clutched at the bedsheets with lust and ecstasy and her hands. Her spongy love mountains hurled to and fro with each pounding. Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.
Then Torolf moaned, arched his back, and suffered from dick Parkinson’s. He pumped in all of his hot pearlescent sperms as Hilda spasmed with so many orgasms!
The two lay still for a moment as the stinky scent of lovemaking billowed around the room. Hilda got out of bed, still shimmering with orgasm. She glowed with contentment, like a cat who ate the cream of the crop.
She walked across the room and picked up her towel, still wet with shower water. “Torolf,” she said softly, “there’s something I have to tell you…”
But her bed was empty.
Torolf was gone, escaped out the bedroom window. In the distance, Hilda heard the fading sound of galloping abs.
….
DICK
ANEURYSM
GALLOPING ABS
This person is either what is wrong with publishing or a comedic treasure.
I would quote the best part, but that’s kinda the whole thing.
I have this book. I don't know what anyone is making fun of. This literary treasure tells the heartwarming story of a ship of navy seals who travel back in time and end up on an island of sensual, misandrist Viking women. This book is so important.

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Doom and Gloom
Fidel Castro, inaccurately described by CNN as 'lifeguard, athlete, movie star'.
You should worry because death is in the cards. Or so says your obituary.
Revolt.
I always thought Helen of Troy was overrated.
Women who sparked revolutions.
Principles to live by.
This wikipedia blog began when 3 years ago a friend of mine sent me to the copybot list, this I shared with Alex.
We then decided to compile our own top 50. Alex's was accompanied by a short essay. These remain the guiding rules of our wikipedic choices.
A Little Essay I Like to Call; ‘Some principles I’ve tried to adhere to; Some notes I took during the process and other list-related making rants'
Wherever possible I’ve tried to use an interesting example instead of the ‘peak’ page, e.g. ‘the Seattle Windshield Pitting Epidemic’ instead of ‘Mass Delusion.’ Sometimes I couldn’t resist though.
I’ve tried not to include too many things in the same area or that are really heavily connected but sometimes failed. I particularly did it when I felt the pages were best appreciated read together e.g. ‘Washoe’ and ‘Nim Chimpsky’ are animal experiments on chimps that had very different results, and ‘Alex (parrot) is an example of that kind of experiment on a bird. In combination they sort of give the whole picture in a way one page didn’t.
Some things on my list are weird and funny and interesting. Some things aren’t funny at all, but they are really interesting.
Some things I thought you would have a particular interest in, like Shaggy Dog Story or Worldbuilding, the latter of course being something to do with my novel.
We both love Wikipedia, so some are included for Wikipedia quirks, I love how Anti LGBT Slogans is organised into ‘themes’ of the slogans and how if you type in ‘That’s what she said’ you get redirected to ‘Said the actress to the bishop.’ Also, I like that someone decided it was necessary to have a page called ‘Western Stereotypes of the Male Ballet Dancer.’
Edit.
That is a lie, obsession began far earlier then that.
Welcome to the Winchester Mystery House, whose Wikipedia page launched the writing of a thousand asinine words.
In Dreams.
Dream Yoga.
This scene starring Scott, Stiles and Alison would be a great.
Best way of escaping bardo ever.

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Oh snap!
A fanciful image of a dragon playing Snap Dragon.
Why don't we ever come back from parties with 3rd degree burns on our fingers and our heads filled with rhythmic chants?
Mini pumpkin found after being lost for a year.
I don’t know why this is making me laugh so much
Behold, the feral mini pumpkin. Upon escape the domestic mini pumpkin rapidly reverts to its wild roots, growing fur and shedding excess mass in favour of a lean, efficient physique.
Ummm...let's not treat this terrifying lord of the night so lightly guys...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vampire_pumpkins_and_watermelons
Shoe Tossing Conspiracy Theories
>
(Image Source: http://spoki.tvnet.lv/vesture/Shoefiti/541471)
We've all seen shoes tossed over powerlines (which, according to wikipedia, is also called shoefiti) and you can check out the tumblr tag for 'shoe tossing' to see some artsy, filtered photos of it. the fun of this Wikipedia page is the discussion about some of the criminal explanations that have been proposed for shoe tossing.
I had always heard that it meant you could buy drugs at the house the shoes are in front of, I'm not the only one that has heard this ridiculous theory and apparently tossed shoes used for that purpose are called ""crack tennies" (citation needed)" which is, by the way, my new favourite term ever. I like it even more if some inspired Wikipedia editor just made it up.
Apparently shoe tossing "can also relate to a place where heroin is sold to symbolize the fact that once you take heroin, you can never "leave": a reference to the addictive nature of the drug." Excellent explanation, poetic, complex, moving. 4/5 stars. Would read again.
Someone with little imagination has added that "the practice also occurs along relatively remote stretches of rural highways that are unlikely scenes for gang murders, and have no structures at all to be crack houses." Perhaps that was the same editor who has pointed out that shoe tossing might be "a way to get rid of shoes that are no longer wanted, are uncomfortable, or do not fit." O ye of little imagination. I much prefer the bullying, murder, memorial, 'protection from ghosts' and heroin explanations for the shoes.
But don't delve too deep Shoe Toss Investigators, at the end of the day "only each individual shoe-thrower knows why his/her pair of shoes now hangs from a wire"
Delicious Soviet Coca Cola
White Coke was Coke produced especially for Georgy Zhukov, a Marshal of the Soviet Union in the 1940s.
Eisenhower ("himself a particular fan of Coca Cola") gave Mr. Zhukov some Coke, Zhukov liked it so much he wanted to keep drinking it, sadly for him "it was regarded in the Soviet Union as a symbol of American Imperialism." Luckily Zhukov was an ideas man, he "asked for [Coke's] color to resemble vodka so that he would not be seen drinking Coca Cola in public"
Zhukov got his wish but his special request made it all the way to President Truman before the clear Coke was organised.
WHAT IS YOUR EARLIEST HUMAN MEMORY?
Oh tumblrbot. Memory is fallible. Never trust anyone. Especially anyone. But especially not yourself.
Sources:
Memory implantation
Memory conformity
Reconstruction of automobile destruction (psychological study)
Lost in the mall technique
Now that tumblrbot has been appropriately educated, humans should note that this blog now accepts asks. Be prepared for the answer to be a completely unexplained link to a wikipedia page.

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Ghost Word
Ghost words appear in dictionary but aren't really used by anyone. Some of them result from straight up typos and mistakes. Dictionaries are obviously our all-powerful, linguistic overlords and thus "once authoritatively published, a ghost word commonly becomes widely copied and takes a long time to be erased from usage (e.g. "morse...); sometimes such a word even comes into permanent usage (e.g. "scapegoat"...)"
In one particularly hilarious incident "It turned out that "kimes" was a misprint for "knives", but the word gained currency for some time"
(Just some ye olde kime throwing...Pic from: www.juggling.org )
Also check out the wikionary page for abacot, a word that resulted from a Chinese whispers-esque string of misspellings of 'bycoket'...
An erotic binding spell o' both your houses...
Lots of curse tablets found at Athens involve hoping an opposing litigant will somehow fuck up, "botch his performace in court, forget his words, become dizzy and so forth. Others include erotic binding-spells, spells ranged against thieves and business and sporting rivals."
The sexy, sexy curses of angry, ancient Graeco-Romans can be contrasted with the less creative 130 odd curse tablets found at Bath in England, where "many of the curses related to thefts of clothes whilst the victim was bathing."
Pic source: http://thehairpin.com/2012/05/the-tablet-carvers-wrath