My Weight Loss Story

When you find a love that is like none other but yet it’s all at the wrong time.

I know it’s been a while since I posted and I will update later but I really just wanted to post this .

My last update was back in March and here it is June. I had my six month appointment last month and things were going really well. I believe my six month check up my weight was at 229 which was great. That means I had hit 101 lb loss since surgery was is great but at this doctor appointment I wasn’t feeling so good. I had not been able to eat or drink and it seemed that my body just wasn’t having it. When I spoke to Michelle, she was worried because of my fluid Intake . Michelle is the doctor I see when I don’t see doctor T. She had ordered for me to go get three bags of fluids the same day to make sure I get fluids in me.

I went in at 1 pm to get the fluids. It was definitely going to be a hot minute with me being there so I was going to make the best of it.

It was about 5 pm and I was finally done with getting the fluids. I didn’t even have to Pee at this point which I meant my body really needed those fluids.

I have done my best to try to keep fluids in but sometimes it is the hardest thing to do. I can’t stand water.

The second hardest thing for me to do is to eat. It seems like my body doesn’t want me to eat any meat at all.

I am suppose to be at 1200 cal and my body might see 600 a day of that.

My body does feel weak a lot because of it and I just do my best to keep pushing on but sometimes it is hard.

Where am I at now? Wel, I am down to 205 right now which is great but I am losing the weight really fast. My goal weight is still 180 to 190 but I have a feeling at this rate I will go lower then that.

I still have a hard time seeing the weight loss. When I look st myself I still see 330 lbs but I know I’m not.

My clothes sizes have really went down. I am now at a 36 pant size and a large shirts which is great.

Things seem to move a little slow the past week or so since my last doctor appointment. 

It does seem like I hit a stall, which my body has been great at doing. I know I have lost a lot of weight really fast so I am not surprised that I have hit a stall but it sure does suck. 

Since my last doctor appointment, I have been eating more. Dr. T said that I should be eating about 900-1200 calories due to me playing football. I know that I was not getting that much before. Now I have done my best to eat a lot of meat and eat the good foods. 

I am hoping that this stall breaks soon. 

On Wednesday Inhad my 4 month update since surgery. I was nervous only because I was hoping that everything was still on track.

My last appointment was Jan 19 2018 and my weight was 276.

I was hoping that I at least made the doctors goal which was to be at 250.

I got up on the scale.. my heart was beating a little fast and the numbers came up

243.6.. I was so happy. I couldn’t believe that I had past the doctors goal by 6.4 lbs

I went into the room and waiting for the doctor to come in.

He came in and started looking at my chart and my numbers. He said that we are at the point to where he has to Submit data of my process .

When I first started this Journey I started at 330 lbs and that was a BMI of over 50. Holy shirt, that was not good numbers at all.

My numbers today

243.6 and a BMI of 38. Holy shit that’s great

I have lost 47% of my body weight.

The doctor said that my goal weight should be around the 180 to 190 mark. I still think that is kind of high but he said with my built, it will be fine.

I have 63 more lbs to get to 180 but I would like to get to 165.

So Inhave between 63 to 78 lbs to lose and Inam only at 4 months.

My next appointment is May 15 for my six month check up.

Monday Morning

This is what I am having a hard time with: A few days go by and I can actually eat and I feel like I am doing great but then it hits me to where I don’t want to eat or drink anything and I have no clue why. Why do my moods change so much with eating?  

There are also times where I feel like I am back at the first stage and I have no clue what I should be eating at all. It does get frustrating a lot because it seems like everyone else has the answers to my life but me. 

I know that these moods come in phases and I understand that but sometimes it just feels like I can not catch a break. 

Most of the stuff we eat really needs to be good stuff and cooked and all that great stuff but sometimes I just do not want to cook and just be able to eat without spending time fixing it. 

I use to love drinking juices but I have found out that my body can not handle the acid so much anymore and hurts my stomach. 

This is the one post where I wanted to vent. 

Saturday night I was laying down and I thought I would go to the Daily Press website and see if the next Story had come out and sure enough it did. I went to go read it and look at the pictures and I really liked it. There was one picture that I liked the most. It was a picture of where I was on my knee and I was laughing. Most of the pictures that I take of myself or others take I am never smiling at all and people tell me all the time I should but I guess it is hard to do a fake smile. but this was the one time that I was able to laugh and smile and really mean it. 

I was in my element to where I was happy and I was doing something that I enjoyed and I was around people that made me laugh. It has been a very long time since I have been able to do that. Every day it seems that we get so caught up in work and bills that we forget that life is more about that and sometimes we do nothing that makes us happy. 

I know that life is short and that we are not promised another day but yet we all keep living like we have forever to change our lives but we really don’t. 

I know a lot of people are scared of that change and that sometimes it is better to stay where you are at instead of actually doing something that you enjoy or know it is for the better. 

When going through everything for the surgery we had to see a therapist so she could sign off on it to make sure we were doing this for the right reason. 

As we were talking she asked me questions. She said, Why do you want to only change 50% of your life and not 100% of it? I really didn’t have an answer except that it was easier to have the surgery and deal with those life problems than to deal with the other problems in my life. 

I still have a lot to change in my life and I know I don’t have years and years to do it but in my world, I like to do a few things at a time and not do everything at once. 

What I do know is this: We won’t ever be 100% happy with our lives and that is OK because we expect too much out of it but yet only wanna give a little to it.Life is short and paves our own road to being happy and some will change it and some won’t.  

I know my grandma spent a lot of time living alone unless she had a grandkid coming to live with her all the time but she wasn't unhappy though. She loved her time alone and the peace but also enjoyed it when people did visit her. 

It seems I have hit another stall. I am down to 249 but I hasn’t moved from that in about 7 days. I know I shouldn’t be disappointed because I have lost so much already, but it still is sad. I am hoping that the numbers will change soon.

I am 81 lbs down which is great. I can’t believe it has been going so fast and I have not even hit my 4 month mark yet. It is amazing and I feel so much better.

The hardest thing about this journey comes down to when to eat. I have a bad habit of just not eating instead of trying to find something that I know I can eat.

Where am I at in sizes now.

I started out in a size 50 pants and now I am in a size 40.

I started out wearing 3Xl shirts and now I am in xtra large.

These changes have been so big and it feels great.

It does suck a little where you go out on pants and they don’t fit anymore because they are to big and then you don’t have any smaller ones around because you don’t wanna buy to many clothes right now lol but I am learning to just go with the flow

I wasn’t feeling to great Saturday morning. I decided I would call my family doctor in to see if I could make an appointment but this just happened to be the Saturday they aren’t in. I went to urgent care to see what was going on. I was dizzy, my stomach hurt, it was all the above. Wel a few things came out of that.

They said they saw keystones in my urine which indicated that I wasn’t getting the right nutrients. I couldn’t disagree on that one because I knew I wasn’t eating enough. The next day is he believe I had the stomach flu and it just happens that my body was doing all this at once.

I didn’t do much on the weekend but try to eat and drink. I was very weak and didn’t fee like doing much.

Today I am doing somewhat. Ether. I am trying to eat more and trying to keep on my fluids but man is that hard.

I know they said that we would have. A lot of gas pain in the months after surgery but they definitely didn’t say how bad it was going to bed. Last night I woke up so sick to my stomach that I had to throw up. Then my stomach started hurting so bad that it felt like a knife was inside me. This last all night. I woke up on the hour of this pain. I would attempt to go to the bathroom but most of the time nothing would happen. I really felt like it wasn’t going to end. I woke up this morning with not as bad pain but the pain was still there. I guess the gas has decided to try to make its way out in the most painful way every. Today I am going to try to rest and hopefully this pain goes away.

This has been a tough week for me. It feels like my body wants to reject most foods and because of that I don’t feel like eating. I have been more tired this week then I have in a very long long time, wish I could get the energy back. I work and then come home and sleep. I could sleep for hours. I know if I can eat better then it wouldn’t be so bad.

Some updates

I went to my family doctor on Friday just for a routine visit. We went ahead and did some blood work. I got the test results today and everything seems to be going great. I was really nervous about it. I just didn’t want anything to be wrong.

My weight is still going down. It has been a month since my last appointment with my weight loss doctor. I have lost 22 lbs in that month. That is great. I have another month to go and to get to my doctors goal for this month, I just need to lose 4 more lbs to reach 26 lbs. I set a personal goal of 50 lbs. I am thinking I might have went a little high on that one. I am suppose to be at 254 for what my doctor wanted, I wanted to be at 230. As of right now I am not sure if in another month if I can do 30 lbs but I will try my best.

The first day of the month. This year has started off very fast and I am hoping that it slows down so I can enjoy life just a little more. 

RIght now my weight is at 260 which is great. I am so happy with where I am at. 

Today I had another interview with Daily Press. This one was kinda sad. The reporter that I have is leaving to go to a different state for a new job. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy for her but it has been nice to be able to have the same two people on this story. The more time you spend with them, the more I feel like they are writing because they got to know me. A new reporter is taken over which I have heard great things about. I will have to do a little adjusting to this person but I will manage. At least I still have the same Photographer there.