𝙼𝙴𝙳𝙰𝙻𝙸𝚂𝚃

Feel free to add context, change pronouns, names, jobs, and anything else you need to change to make these work for you! Have fun! ^-^

❝ Ooh, I’d like to make some sweet music with him… ❞

❝ Whoah, excuse me! Hot stuff, coming through! ❞

❝ I haven’t seen this much love in a room since Narcissus discovered himself. ❞

❝ Memo to me: maim you after my meeting. ❞

❝ You look fabulous. I mean, you look like a fate worse than death. ❞

❝ After all these years, is this the kind of hello you give your father? ❞

❝ You sure this is the right place? ❞

❝ Every single one of these bums let me down! Flatter than a discus. ❞

❝ I am too old to get mixed up in this stuff again. ❞

❝ You’re my one last hope so you’ll have to do. ❞

❝ But you… Are… Aren’t you, a damsel in distress…? ❞

❝ My friends call me (Name). At least they would if I had any friends. ❞

❝ Did they give you a name along with all those rippling pectorals? ❞

❝ Well you know how men are. They think ‘no’ means 'yes’ and 'get lost’ means 'take me, I’m yours’. ❞

❝ I’ll be all right. I’m a big, tough girl. I tie my own sandals and everything. ❞

❝ Just stare at the sidewalk, come on. Don’t make eye contact, the people here are nuts. ❞

❝ Let’s get ready to rumble! ❞

❝ Will you forget that head slicing thing!? ❞

❝ He was so hot, steam looked cool. ❞

❝ It’s all right. The sea of raging hormones has ebbed. ❞

❝ So, this is what heroes do on their days off. ❞

❝ That play, that, that Oedipus thing? Man! I thought I had problems! ❞

❝ I didn’t know that playing hooky could be so much fun. ❞

❝ When I’m with you, I, I don’t feel so alone. ❞

❝ Sometimes it’s better to be alone… Nobody can hurt you. ❞

❝ That’s it. Next time, I drive. ❞

❝ It’s too cliché, I won’t say I’m in love. ❞

❝ Check that grin, you’re in love. ❞

❝ (Name), (Name), (Name), my sweet, deluded little minion. ❞

❝ Aw, how can I come down there when I’m feeling so up! ❞

❝ Baboom. Name is (Name), lord of the (dead). Hi. How ya doin’? ❞

❝ Hey, hey, I only need a few seconds and I’m a fast talker, all right? ❞

❝ We dance, we kiss, we schmooze, we carry on, we go home happy. ❞

❝ Look, I know what I did was wrong, but this isn’t about me, it’s about (Name). ❞

❝ People always do crazy things when they’re in love. ❞

❝ You’re gonna be all right. I promise. ❞

❝ My intentions were pure! I really was attracted to you! ❞

❝ You know, (Name)’s running with a new crowd these days, and not a very lively one at that. ❞

❝ For a true hero isn’t measured by the size of his strength, but by the strength of his heart. ❞

Angry

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

“Fuck this.”

“Get the fuck out of here.”

“Who the fuck are you?”

“Fuck that!”

“I fucking hate him/her/them/you.”

“Fuck. FUCK. FUUUUCK!”

“Shut the fuck up.“

“Get your fucking act together.”

“Keep your shitty nose out of my fucking business.”

“Leave me alone, or I’ll fuck you up.”

“Get your fucking hands off of me!”

“Stay the fuck away from me.”

“Who stole my fucking shit?!”

“Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?”

“You wanna fucking go, punk?”

“Get the fuck over it.”

“Where the fuck have you been?”

“What the fuck do you want from me?”

Sad

“Fuck life.” 

“No, I’m not fucking over it.”

“Why the fuck did he/she/they have to go and die?”

“What the fuck am I supposed to do now?”

“Why did things have to go so fucking wrong?”

“I’m gonna eat fifty fucking cartons of ice cream and then pass out and die like a warrior.”

“Try to fucking stop me from leaving my room. It’s not gonna happen.”

“The love of my life just decided that I was worth fucking nothing.”

“I fucking miss him/her/them.”

“Who the fuck cares?”

“All of this fucking shit was for nothing.”

“I fucked up my own life.”

“I can’t believe I did this fucking shit all over again.”

Insults

“Fuck you!”

“I fucked your mom last night.” 

“You’re a fucking asshole.”

“You just think you’re fucking hilarious, don’t you?” 

“Who the fuck died and made you king/queen/ruler?” 

“Go to fucking hell, you piece of shit!”

“Go fuck yourself.”

“Motherfucker!”

“Wow, that’s fucking small.”

“Get the fuck over yourself.”

Sexy

“Fuck me.”

“I don’t ‘make love’, I fuck.”

“I’d fuck you all night long.”

“You look like a fucking dog in heat.”

“You look so fucking hot right now.”

“Fuck–faster~”

“FUCK, I’m gonna come!”

“I’ll fuck you right here, right now.”

“Babe, fuck–not here.”

“You’re one cocky motherfucker. Let’s go back to my place.”

“I want to bend you over and fuck you until you can’t walk.”

“I want you to fuck me until I can’t walk.”

“F-fuck–please–~”

“I’d let you fuck me any day.”

“You better use a fucking condom.”

“Tell me what you want me to fucking do to you.”

“Do you want me to fuck you while everyone’s watching?”

“Fuck, it’s big.”

“Let’s make a fucking baby.”

Situations

“Give me a break. I’m in the fucking hospital.”

“How are YOU mad at ME when I’m the one who’s in FUCKING JAIL?”

“Help me set this fucking thing on fire.”

“I’m gonna need a fucking lawyer.”

“This is all YOUR fault, you dumb fuck.”

“It’s not MY fault we’re in fucking handcuffs.”

“Fuck, I’m so wasted.”

“What the fuck did we do last night?”

“Where the fuck am I?”

“Fuck. SHIT. There goes my car.”

“Wait–fuck. Isn’t that my house?”

“Fuck it. Might as well have fun, if we’re going to get caught.”

“Why the fuck do you have gasoline?”

“Where the fuck did that baby come from?!”

“It’s not a party until someone almost fucking dies.”

IT’S OCTOBER 31ST!!!!!!