The sun will rise, and we will try again...

Being able to play these songs back now as I am creating this gifset, writing out a separate personal caption with Cottonwood playing, feels unreal. I miss the anticipation Breach had brought, the Blurryface tweets, the excitement over my first show last October. I had so much look forward to. A year later in another pilots summer chock full of festivals, I can't help but feel torn. I feel as though I might never get to experience such an era again. Not because I believe the band is ending, only because this was the first album of theirs I was lucky enough to catch in time, right before the lore was coming to an end. These days I look back in time, I have suffered grief right after my first show. The loss of a loved one, losing a best friend, the closeness I can never quite get back, how affected I have become in the simplest of conversations with anyone. The anxiety wedged in my throat. I have lost security, have felt closer to the band than I ever have, and moved forward on my own. Sometimes I wish I didn't. I do not know why I survived all of this only to remain afraid of certain changes in myself and in the people I wish to befriend. Was it worth all the heartache? I am unsure of the answer to the question. I cried listening to the previews again, had to wait to come back to this. I love what this album brought, even if it was riddled with pain.