⊹ ࣪ ˖ sophia laforteza.

⊹ ࣪ ˖ lara raj.

⊹ ࣪ ˖ daniela avanzini.

⊹ ࣪ ˖ jeung yoonchae.

⊹ ࣪ ˖ megan skiendiel.

like the time you and megan were in a crowded restaurant and you made a stupid joke that wasn’t even that funny, but megan laughed so loud the whole building went silent. your smile dropped immediately as you sat there trying to hide your embarrassment behind your drink.

the problem wasn’t her dorky laugh, but the fact that she made it seem like you invented comedy. and later when the waitress looked between you two and said, “you guys are so cute, how long have you been together?”

your smile faltered but megan replied, “basically forever,” with a grin.

or when you get text messages from her at midnight, apologizing for something stupid as an excuse to talk to you again.

which is exactly why it wasn’t a surprise when you heard pebbles being thrown at your window one night.

you open your curtains and look down at megan with the window still closed. she’s standing there with a handful of more pebbles and you roll your eyes at the scene.

you hear another pebble hit the glass before you process that she threw another one, and she shrugs. you sigh and open the window for her to climb in.

you wait about ten minutes, hearing whispers of “shoot!” and “crap!” with every step she takes on the wrong branches.

“i swear your window gets higher every time i come here,” megan gasps out after finally reaching your bedroom. immediately, she picks up your hoodie from where you left it and puts it on like it belongs to her and flops onto the bed.

“get off my bed with your outside clothes!” you swat her on the back but she doesn’t respond with words, just a groan.

so you sit at the edge of the bed right next to her, and she shifts to drop her head into your lap with an exhausted sigh. one arm slips loosely around your waist and your hand instinctively goes to her hair, feeling her body relax.

“you need to stop throwing rocks at my window.”

“romeo did it and everybody loved him,” megan says after lifting her head just enough to glare at you, then laying back down.

you lightly tug her hair, “be serious.”

she replies with a soft hum but you can tell she’s drifting off.

you let her lay like this for about twenty minutes before your legs start feeling like they’re about to disconnect from your body.

“you’re falling asleep.”

“no i’m not, i’m just resting my eyes,” megan mumbles instantly, defensive.

you snort quietly and use your strength to shake her off of you and stand both of you up. you did most of the work while megan dramatically complained about being cold and too tired to move a muscle.

once you finally get her out the window, with your hoodie still on her body, you smile and tilt your head at her. the only thing you hear is the sound of the streets outside. “text me when you get home,” you say quietly.

she nods with a smile that you can barely see in the dark, and you watch her climb back down the tree next to your window, you try your hardest to hold in your laugh at how tight she’s gripping the branches with fear.

megan does this quite often. she sneaks into your bedroom to see your face for a few minutes, and then eventually leaves when she’s forced to.

the next day, you’re in the middle of making yourself a drink when your phone buzzes and lights up with a notification from megan.

you shake your head, smiling, and shove your phone in your pocket, quickly pulling on a jacket and leaving through the door.

you can already see megan in her parked car, sunglasses on and looking around pretending she can’t see you.

she probably thinks she looks so cool right now.

“you look like you’re driving a getaway car,” you say after getting in the passenger seat. you notice that the playlist you made was already playing in the car.

“oh, you’re here! only took you twenty years,” she says with fake surprise, looking at you fully.

you roll your eyes playfully, but your eyes catch on the drink on your side of the car. “you got me a drink?”

“yeah, i know how annoying you get when you’re thirsty.”

“that’s actually really nice. are you ill?” you say with a raised eyebrow.

megan scoffs and starts pulling out of the driveway. “i did that for my sake not yours, i don’t want you to be mean to me out of thirst.”

“i’m never mean to you.”

“remember when you said you’d block me if i didn’t play minecraft with you?”

instead of answering, you just turn your head away from her because yes, you do remember when you did that. she laughs and reaches out to grab your hand with her free one, then gently placing your connected hands into her lap.

she drives like that for a while, one handed and the other one absentmindedly rubbing over your knuckles with her thumb without either of you acknowledging it.

“if you add this song into any more of your playlists, i’m gonna press the ‘eject passenger seat’ button like in the barbie show and send you flying,” she says after you turn the volume up when a certain song starts playing.

“it’s a good song,” you defend.

“it makes me want to crash,” megan deadpans.

you stare at her with fake annoyance to continue the bit, but you notice how focused she looks when she drives, how she’s still rubbing your hand without pulling away, how she still tries to sing along to the song without knowing the lyrics.

the teasing gets washed away instantly and instead gets replaced with all things megan related.

but before you can continue, said girl stops at a red light and glances over at you, catching you staring. “take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

“i was literally just zoning out.”

“sure,” she laughs.

the red light turns amber, then green, but megan hasn’t noticed yet, too busy teasing you. until someone honks behind you and she flinches. you grimace as she steps on the pedal and makes the car speed off way too fast for your liking. “oh my god, we’re going to die,” you shriek as she keeps laughing at you, still not letting go of your hand.

you eventually get to the drive thru, and megan’s eyes light up looking at the menu. the way she scans the options so intensely confuses you.

she gets the same thing every time.

“you’ve been looking at the same meal for two minutes now,” you point out.

“shh, this is important.”

you furrow your eyebrows as the car finally moves down the line and reaches the speaker. “welcome, what can i get you?”

megan nervously sits up straighter, “hi, can i get-”

“a large fry,” you interrupt.

“wow,” she softly gasps.

“what?”

“you know me.”

“you literally order the same thing every time.”

“still romantic.”

you dig yourself further into the seat instead of replying, at a loss of words. the employee behind the speaker pauses before speaking again, “that’s actually really cute.”

both of you freeze in the car until megan recovers quickly and grins, “thank you!”

you whip your head towards her, “megan.”

she smiles innocently at you and proceeds to continue with the rest of the order for the employee, who laughs quietly at each interaction between you two.

the car moves along again, and you get to the cashier, who stands there and waits until you guys stop fighting over who pays today.

the car moves again until you’re parked in a quieter place. the music is still playing but lower this time, allowing you to hear each other better.

the food is spread around you and megan keeps stealing fries from your box, even though she has the same exact ones right in front of her.

she says yours “taste better” after you lose patience when she steals another fry right out your hand.

the music starts to fade out again, you didn’t lower the volume, but you both forgot it was playing in the first place as you only focus on each other and the stupid ‘what if’ questions shared between you to keep conversation going.

she says things like, “you’re my favorite person to do nothing with.”

you match her and say, “you make everything less boring.”

which makes megan quieter in a comfortable way. you watch her steal another fry without asking as you lean further back into your designated seat.

after knowing someone for years, you get to appreciate the quiet moments more. you know how the other is feeling without having to actually say anything out loud. it feels warm somehow.

“…i think we’d be good at fake dating,” she says suddenly, staring out of the window.

“fake dating?” you laugh softly.

“yeah.”

“why are you thinking about that?”

“because everyone already thinks we are anyway”

“hm,” you reach over to take your fry back from her hands, “i think we’d be bad at it.”

that makes her frown and look at you, offended. “bad? excuse you. i’d be amazing.”

“we’d be too convincing. look, you’re already holding my hand while driving.”

she looks at your intertwined hands, and holds yours tighter instead of letting go, “maybe i just like you.”

your heart feels weird, but not in a bad way, just in a humiliating way.

you can’t tell if she’s joking. megan doesn’t know either. except she’s staring at you for too long and smiling at you in a way that makes your stomach twist.

you feel like there’s no air in the car, so you move to open the window, but she interrupts you by suddenly speaking “and also we’re weirdly codependent.”

“i think there are worse people in the world to be attached to.”

she goes still for a moment, her thumb pausing on your knuckles. megan takes a deep breath and rubs your hand slower this time.

a smile appears on her face, “that was gross.”

“you’re the one who brought this up.”

“yeah but you made it emotional, gross,” she repeats under her breath, but her dimples give her away.

you laugh with her and lean your head back, the silence in the car softens. the occasional sound of the food boxes moving and other cars driving by are heard, but it’s mostly just you, megan, and your playlists.

she’s still holding your hand like she needs it. even when she’s driving her car back to your house.

at every red light, megan turns to glance at you before immediately looking to the front again like you wouldn’t notice, but you’re already looking at her first and catch her every time.

when megan parks up in your driveway, it’s dark outside. the only thing helping you see her are the car interior lights that turned on when she stopped the car.

neither of you move yet.

“thanks for today,” you say, quiet enough to not break the soft feeling between you.

“yeah, of course. today was nice,” she replies simply while tapping her fingers on the steering wheel.

“do you think we’ll still do this when we’re old?” you ask.

“eating fries in parking lots?”

“yeah.”

“obviously.” she gets quiet, like she wants to say something meaningful but doesn’t. your hand lingers on the door handle but you don’t move to open it. “you should go inside.”

“you should drive home.”

“you first.”

“you’re literally still holding my hand.”

that makes her look down at your intertwined hands. “…oh,” but she still doesn’t let go.

you get quiet again, too distracted by the way your heart reacts to megan.

“okay…i’m leaving now,” you say slowly.

“okay.”

you still don’t move.

“wait-” megan blurts out.

you pause in your seat, “what?”

her mouth opens to talk but nothing comes out, for a while she just stares at you until her eyes nervously jump around trying to think of something to say.

“uh, you forgot your food,” megan mumbles out, pointing at your box that has a total of three fries left inside.

you blink, “you’re unbelievable.”

she shrugs in return, “yeah.”

you give her a look before finally pulling your hand away from her, which makes the car feel colder somehow.

“goodnight, megan.”

she’s still watching you carefully, “text me when you get inside.”

you open the car door, but before stepping out, you glance back one more time. megan’s already looking at you. “drive safe,” you say in a hushed tone.

her expression softens, “i always do.”

“liar,” you snort.

megan grins, “goodnight, pretty.”

your brain stops functioning for a second, but before you can get back to normal, megan starts the car again with a smug smile like she knows what she just did to you.

you stand still in your driveway watching her pull away for longer than necessary before finally going inside.

your room feels weirdly isolated after that.

you collapse onto the bed, staring at the ceiling and replaying the entire night and every single interaction.

your phone proceeds to buzz with a notification. megan made a new playlist. it makes you narrow your eyes and open it with caution.

you stare at the screen in horror, is she insane?

shoving the phone face down into your blanket with much more force than intended, you cover your face with your hands and groan loudly.

not enough to relieve yourself of megan finding a permanent way into your brain and altering everything in there with just a spotify playlist and a ‘make me’ text.

you roll over and shove your face into your pillow, and that somehow makes it worse, because now there’s nothing distracting you from tonight.

holding hands, megan rubbing your knuckles like it was automatic, the way she looked at you at every single red light.

you squeeze your eyes shut, there’s no way she was being serious about any of that. she’s not capable of being romantic and smooth.

this is the same girl that keeps mistaking sugar with salt and screaming when she consumes the wrong one.

yet, you still find yourself scrolling through the playlist again. megan said to not overanalyze the lyrics, but how can you not?

when everything that happened before the playlist was made, makes it seem like it wasn’t a coincidence.

you toss the phone away from you to stop spiralling any further and you let sleep take over your overthinking.

the next few days feel worse, because now every interaction with megan feels like it means more than it is. more lingering and saying too much.

and megan makes it worse too, especially when she asked you to go to the carnival with her, and saying you can’t deny because she already bought the ticket.

the carnival feels way more crowded than you thought it would be. different music is blasting from every ride, people are carrying oversized prizes and they graze your shoulder every once in a while. the smell of carnival food overwhelms your senses the further you walk.

you suddenly feel someone catch your wrist and you’re about to flinch or pull back, but you recognize the shapes of the cold rings pressing into your hand.

“finally!” megan says dramatically, a little louder too so you can hear her over the speakers.

“i’m only two minutes late,” you retort.

she doesn’t hear you though, and instead she drags you deeper into the carnival without letting go.

she takes you down a path of rides where you scream your lungs out and megan laughs at you, games where she keeps losing and blaming it on the wind, and food vans with overpriced options.

she’s constantly pulling you close through the crowds, standing right behind you while waiting in line, enough that you can feel her front pressing into you.

when you play one of the games and it’s your turn, you hear the carnival worker say, “your girlfriend’s turn now,” to megan.

you watch her reaction but she calmly accepts it without replying.

one moment stood out though. you were at a different game booth, but this worker looks past the way megan acts around you, and decided to speak up.

“oh my god, that was so embarrassing,” megan laughs after you completely miss the shot at the bottles.

“shut up,” you roll your eyes.

“okay, i see the strategy,” the worker around your age says.

“thank you!” you say proudly

“pretty girls get an extra try,” he adds.

but before you could respond, megan is already interrupting, “then where’s my extra try?”

“…uh,” the worker tries to laugh it off but it just sounds awkward.

“i’m pretty too,” megan continues, sounding too serious.

you stare at her, “megan.”

the worker moves his eyes between you two without blinking, like he figured something out. “you don’t need extra tries, your girlfriend is already winning,” he jokes to megan.

usually one of you laughs it off, but instead, megan leans forward on her elbows that were resting on the counter and nods, “true. she’s very talented.”

your mouth falls open, and megan finally looks at you, visibly fighting a smile off her face. “what?” she asks too innocently.

“you can’t just-”

“babe,” she cuts you off smoothly, “focus on the game.”

the worker laughs but you’re too busy thinking about how natural that sounded, like she’s been calling you that forever.

which makes you miss the next throw, somehow even more embarrassingly than last time.

megan bursts into laughter in your face, “that was so bad!”

“your fault.”

“worth it.”

she’s still smiling when she reaches over to fix the hood of your jacket without thinking, her fingers brushing your cheek for a second too long.

then she speaks to the worker again.

“can my girlfriend get one more try?”

“megan.”

later on, you two end up walking to her parked car, which was so far you could’ve just walked home, but she insisted on dropping you off.

it’s quieter between you two, you don’t know if it’s because there’s no more music filling your ears, or if it’s because megan keeps glancing at you and looking away instead of talking to you.

you’ve had enough so you lightly tug at her sleeve, “okay,” you sigh.

“okay?”

“you got weird earlier. you’re still weird.”

“i’m always weird.”

“you know what i mean.”

“i don’t,” she keeps responding dryly.

you stare at her flatly as she avoids eye contact. it’s actually impressive how hard she’s trying.

“megan.”

“what?”

“you called me babe,” you say.

“as a joke,” she shoots back.

“you also called me your girlfriend.”

“as a joke,” she repeats.

“right,” it almost feels like you’re talking to a brick wall.

“right,” megan trails off.

you let a few seconds pass between you until you speak up again. “you looked way too happy saying it,” you murmur.

you hear the shuffle of her shoes on the path after she nearly trips over nothing from your accusation. “i did not. you’re imagining things.”

“you got jealous,” you finally let out.

it makes megan go silent, feeling caught. the noises around you blur together while megan stares ahead as you both keep walking. the headlights from the cars around you make her face visible to you and your heart beats a little faster.

“megan,” you try getting her attention back on you.

“i just didn’t like him,” she says shortly.

your eyes widen a little bit before replying, “why?”

“because he was annoying,” she answers like a child.

“megan.”

“what do you want me to say?” the words come out more frustrated than she means them to and you both stop walking, she finally turns to look at you with her whole body.

“i’m not sure,” you mutter quietly.

she watches you, and then laughs under her breath nervously after a while. “i think i’ve been feeling weird about you for a while now.”

you and the rest of the world pause.

“weird how?” you ask softly.

megan looks at you for a bit longer. she tries to talk but nothing comes out, so she groans and throws her head back in frustration. despite the tension, you laugh a little. she shakes her head and looks back down at the ground in front of her.

“i get jealous, i hide behind playlists instead of saying things to you like a normal person, and every time you flirt i forget how to act for a minute.”

your chest feels tighter than usual, an unfamiliar feeling washing over you before she continues, “best friends don’t act that way.”

“no they don’t…” you say breathless.

the colors of the carnival lights behind her glow faintly, barely visible now. neither of you notice anything that’s happening around you anymore though.

“so…what now?” she quiets down.

you sigh and laugh at the same time, “i don’t know.”

“cool. great. awesome.”

you can see she’s starting to feel nervous, which makes you smile in return, and she smiles back. you notice how close you’re standing and you can’t help it when your eyes glance at her lips before you can stop them.

she notices and megan’s smile slowly fades from her face, “oh,” she breathes out softly and you swear you feel your heart almost explode.

“if this ruins our friendship…” she whispers.

“that’s what you’re worried about right now?” you slightly laugh, matching her tone.

“shut up.”

“make me,” you copy her.

you feel her smile when your lips finally meet, and you sigh into it, you’ve both been waiting so long for this. her hand slides against your jaw and she leans in further to deepen the kiss.

it’s gentle but still slightly awkward in the way it usually is when you kiss someone you’ve known for a while for the first time.

you pull away just a tiny bit, and let out a laugh, and megan’s smile widens, immediately wanting to kiss you again.

and she does.

it’s warmer and more certain this time, with your hands resting on top of hers, which were still gently holding onto your face.

the only thing on your mind is megan’s hand, lips, and how it doesn’t make sense why this ever felt complicated in the first place.

when you finally pull apart, megan’s eyes slowly open after you and you’re both still grinning.

“wow…”

you giggle and catch your breath, “that’s all you got?”

it stays on your mind the whole journey home, up until megan parks in front of your house and kisses you again before saying goodbye, which gives you yet another moment to replay in your head when you get to your bedroom.

you’re still smiling to yourself when you hear a buzz coming from your phone, and you pick your phone up with speed you didn’t even know you had.