ABANDON ALL HOPE

𝐠𝐨𝐝𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐝   ━    multimuse roleplay blog dependant on thronesfm, featuring muses dyana harlaw from the iron islands, elif hightower from the reach, malina bolton nee tully from the north, ishan velaryon from the crownlands. written by mina, twenty-three, gmt area. see character's biographies, stats, house information here !

" he might be a beast to you, but to me he is every bit of a man. i adore his devotion, his dedication, his patience. i see behind the scowls and glares, i know him better than any other individual. the goodness i see, it might not reflect to others but i see it and isn't that the only thing that matters?" malina knew she could be wrong, god she could be so dreadfully wrong but a part of her just wanted to ignore such facts. the truth was that adian would burn the world for her if she asked him to and that was all that mattered. they would never let the other suffer in this world for as long as they lived, and was that not love? @knightsfcll

there was this look on her face, that could indicate just the switch from happiness to sadness. the immediate faces of jeyne and poppy came to mind. she was their biggest fans, their greatest admirer, jeyne's dearest distraction and friend. elif missed jeyne incredibly and one could see it in the way her demeanor changed. "those which you speak of are now long dead, i fear." she would never mention poppy to rohan, too afraid that he would scold her for her crush on his betrothed. then again, she couldn't help the matters of her heart sometimes. she took a moment to stay silent before she cleared her throat, attempting to think of anyone that was alive who she would have happily been with. "ah, you know, someone who still remains alive is emme. the celtigar-baratheon. just don't tell stefan, i am sure he would have my head on a spike and i look much prettier with a body." @glvrious @flvvrpetals @sncwfallen

"only my sister and uncle know the name of said man. but i've long since accepted the fact that it will never happen. so why dwell on it any further?" she remarked, her tone final as she continued to read the papers in front of her. yet, it seemed her company wouldn't leave her without an answer and dyana sighed. she took a second to look up before leaning back into her chair. her eyes were pensive, memories that once were filled her mind and only the slightest of smiles graced the corners of her lips. "i would have married davios tyrell once upon a time. though, presently, as time sees itself, i doubt he'd allow me near his heart the way i used to be. perhaps i'd marry henry, he's always been such a close friend of mine, and does not all love stem from friendship?" she stated, sure that this answer would stir some drama. yet, a hand fell to her lips at the idea of marrying for love. while her betrothal wasn't love, there was certainly something there and she couldn't deny it. she hoped this brewing would turn into that of love, or something stronger than the papers they would sign on their wedding day. after all, she had already so adored baby ros. she wondered how much she could come to admire ryamis as he was. perhaps her choice in betrothal was truly meant to be, just perhaps. @knightsfcll @prodiiteur

"i've always believed it would be me and gael who would wed. i still would wish it so but only because he is so familiar and so safe. i would say slowan but we are both well aware he is not a man for marriage and i would never wish to change him. i love him as he is, and i'd die rather than allow him to change for me. " she began, taking a moment to look over to her guard enzo before looking back at the stranger. "i'd marry karina. or hyacinth. perhaps alysane. i would give them all that i am, all that i can provide. i would die at their feet if they asked me to, i would allow them all the lovers they'd wish. i just simply desire to be the one to give them the happiness they deserve, to be their guardian from the horrible whims of our parents and elders. i'll be sure to put my name in their rosters above any candidate that they see as unfit for them." it was the only time a person could see the seriousness in her expression, how ready she was to become their wife in a heartbeat. how willing she was to sacrifice any perception or semblance of marital expectations if it meant their happiness. after all, elif knew marriage not as a bond between lovers but as a contract for political needs. she wanted to be sure her beloved girls had someone that would watch over them and not use them. @reqaltys @servtudes @vixtoriious @crvwnfought @trgryns

"i regret no entanglements of mine. i've always had such wonderful men surround me, surprisingly. or perhaps i was just blind to their flaws. after all, one may say i'm blind to even my husband's flaws."

she could recall a member of her council asking her the same question when she returned to the iron islands. how quickly she responded, just as she was going to do so now. "there would be no amount of relief if either of them had died. while euron might be my blood, my youngest brother and the very boy i would commit so many horrors for, i would turn the waters to fire and ensure everyone died of thirst if they took sigfrid from me. what would give me relief would've been to see a stranger die than my own so-" she stopped herself, as the world lingered in the air. euron wasn't her son. just as alanis wasn't her daughter. yet, they felt like her own. "my own brother." she finished, the words stinging. @knightsfcll

One could see how unimpressed the ruling lady was at the question, taking a moment to admire her breath in the cool air before she spoke. "perhaps i should remind you that most of these ruling lords cheat on their wives, and vice versa. any who don't are already dead, or will be dead soon or later. it seems the only people that survive long enough are cheaters and well, look at us." she remarked, annoyance evident. dyana had been the other woman, she knew well how it was to be in trys' position. yet there was a transparency that was shared that made her actions somehow more alright. trystane wasn't given the curtesy to know about aurore and wyllas. he was truly hidden, no insight given to him. her sister was just the unfortunate wife. though, regardless, it would be better for her marriage to be destroyed and get a divorce than stay in such a loveless marriage. "you should redirect that accusation towards wyllas, and i'll stand by trystane and aurore through their choices on how they recover from the poor decision making abilities that their lover and husband respectively did." @flvvrpetals @crvwnfought @aurorecaron

"what, is this meant to be a fun silly little game we play now? what ifs?" she asked, the smile on her face as she looked at her new found companion for the night. so young yet so filled with ideas. it made the ruling lady chuckle ever so slightly before she gave the question some true thought. "i'm afraid i've never considered it. though, if i had to turn back time, i would wed a lannister or a brax. if only it meant that my sisters were given the opportunity to wed those they truly loved. their happiness was all i cared for, still care about. i would rather suffer than see them put in such horrible positions. i would give anything to see them happy again. anything."

there was a bitterness that grew on her face at the mere insinuation of such a thing. she could feel the snarl grow as she spoke. "i bet you would love to see that." but she couldn't deny that she has longed thought of said truth. she longed believed that her time with the drowned god should have arrived already and yet here she was. she could have died already, she had an occasion to do so and yet a savior had come for her. of course it was bitter sweet, the form of her former lover emerging from the hellfire as if he was impenetrable. was that meant to be a sick joke, or a reminder who she belonged to? that she was never meant to be an ironborn her whole life, that she was meant to be wed off already to a southerner since she seemed to fit into their world far better than that of the iron islands. "unfortunately, i believe whatever god has decided to make a game out of my life would much rather see me suffer just a bit more before he decides i'm no longer fun to watch."

the silence after the question was evident that a subject had been broached that she didn't desire to touch on. her betrotha had been many things, and its main purpose for it was now long lost seeing as she wouldn't need more fleets to distribute to siblings who were now long dead. yet, it had begun to turn into something more than she had anticipated. she could feel herself shift from one foot to another, as her gaze lowered to the ground. " i would like it to. though, i suppose that wasn't the question. " she sighed. "i wouldn't doubt it if it fell through, but i would also like to think that ryamis has the right to his own decisions as did i when we constructed this betrothal and that both of us are aiming to wed quite soon." @ryamisredwyne

“I’M SORRY!” She exclaimed, voice scratched from her screaming moments ago. “I’m sorry, i’m so sorry. i’m sorry, uncle. i -” and she would continue to mouth apologies as she cried, raising her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms tightly around them as she hid her head in the small crevice that it formed, rocking back and forth. these cries weren’t fear, they were just pure sorrow, as she attempted to sooth herself as she had done nights previous. though, usually she would find herself gathering all of her covers so she could hold them as if it were a person. when one suffered alone a lot, one grew to find things to replace the embraces a mother usually would hold, or the embraces of a father. this was such a reaction, much like she had when she was seven years of age. 

yet she still wanted to take, to have something for her own that she wanted. so the minute ryamis joined her, there was a brief moment of hesitation as one could see just how disinterested she became with her fingers before she put her palm out, silently requesting her betrothed’s hand so she could play with his fingers. his voice was just the right level of softness to keep her from tensing up and stopping herself from spilling her soul. she never responded well to aggression, she hated it so much. “it seems some sick god derives joy from plaguing my dreams with horrors, i’ve frightened my handmaiden in my sleep and my poor uncle had to find me in such a state. the only thing that seems to ground me after such a thing is this place. i’m okay now, but i’m not sure if that will last.” she remarked, her gaze not once leaving ryamis’ hand as she kept her palm out. “may i?”

why would she want to hide anything from karina, after all she was her dearest companion. nobody would entertain her just as much, or watch for her health and well-being as much as she did. she wondered when would be the day karina would have another that demanded her attention just as much as she did. when that day comes, one could only imagine the fight elif would put to ensure she never loses the affections of the friend she hold dearest to her heart. “exploration is what lead us to this day, one could say we wouldn’t be friends if it wasn’t for exploration. so why must we stop it now?” she explained, a grin on her face. elif waited for her friend to finish her statement, and the gasp that fell from her lips was just as dramatic as the hightower herself. “you know, this is why i have you. to ensure i don’t forget anything! i hope everything is placed in a neat little basket so its easier to take. shall we go?” elif’s excitement was palpable as she tucked at karina’s arm back towards the hallway that would lead them surely towards the quarters where the southern houses were held. then, they could simply asked to be guided. after all, elif was surely recognizable as a hightower, they would have no problem getting past them. at least, if they hadn’t heard of the young hightower’s adventures to the north.

the laugh that left his lips was contagious. who couldn’t join him, it almost resembled that of his father. such a deep and smooth voice, it could fill any halls that it walked in. perhaps that was part of his charm, but the serotonin he would receive was the best high he could ever receive. thank god the council kept him laughing, even if sometimes it would cost him some glares from the woman before him. “here here, have it.” he remarked quickly, attempting not to insight more annoyance from lysara. he adored her, and while it was always fun to mess with her, he knew it was always better to be on her good side than bad. after all, he had no problem discussing her distaste for a certain harlaw. it was almost comical, just how much a woman could hate another for a simple disagreement in wine. yet, he would entertain it until the day he died. “i am performing a good here. imagine if the king had been walking these halls as if nothing occurred. i’m sure we would have nobles absolutely appalled. though, i would pay good money to see that.” he remarked, loving the prospect of the nobility not knowing to say in the face of their king. all of their bravado would be gone, as it usually was. “lets hope they aren’t. for your sake at least.”