𝔊𝔞𝔟𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔩𝔩𝔢

ALL OR NOTHING some days i wake up strangely detached from everything, even the things i love and other days i'm holding on to everything way too tightly, clutching it all to my chest until my arms get tired and my heart gets heavy when you have lost so many things you love there's this constant push and pull between the part of you that clings on to everything it can hold, thinking it can control life this way, thinking it can ensure there's never going to be a loss again if only its grip is strong enough; and the other part of you that holds on to nothing anymore and self-sabotages relentlessly, for if you have nothing you can't lose anything either and i'm still trying to find a balance, a middleground — a way to love without fear and the urge to control a way to let go without erasing what was

This!

If it’s meant to be I’ll see you later

I am not a get-up-and-at-em girl…I am a “babyyyy come back to beddd” while looking at you sadly all bundled up and warm girl

protect me from the people i love that don’t love me foreal

"If you were actually in that much pain you'd be screaming in agony" well, the thing is, screaming takes energy and so does being in pain, and I also have other shit to do, you know. I think people only have the context of pain as being an acute concept, like stubbing your toe...something that comes and then gets better. You kinda get used to chronic pain, but it never stops hurting. You just learn to exist with it, because you don't have another choice

Sometimes you see the moon during daylight because I miss you and I sent her to check in on you

I can literally feel the thoughts bubbling in my head like a cursed soup