Hello, This Is Me.

I’m at work and I’m just sitting here like haha bro! What the fucking is an unskinny bop?

You ever look through Facebook messenger conversations from years ago with old friends you lost touch with and feel like an asshole afterwards?

I started therapy a little while after my mom died and it helped a lot. I learned a lot about myself and what I need to be happy, but since the pandemic and everything I haven’t been to therapy and at first I was happy because I thought oh I don’t need therapy anymore. I’m a happy person and I’m okay now. I feel like now I’m realizing I still need it. Sometimes for no reason I just feel like an empty person. I have a hard time accessing emotions when I want to and then later I feel lonely and sad. I worry about how it affects my relationships with everyone in my life including myself. I’m an introvert but I still want to use energy to socialize because I don’t want anyone to feel like I have “better things to do” I want to be able to nurture my relationships more. Right now I feel kind of broken inside and like an alien. I want to be alone and sulk but at the same time hug everyone I know. Tumblr is a nice space to just say whatever I want so it’s about to be my brain space again I think. Anyways if you read this I hope you know you matter a lot and deserve happiness.