Goblin Shane

the tampa hotel scene is so insane like talk about #mybraveshane…. ilya is being so fucking meannnn here.. for him to look shane in the face and say “it’s simple for me” implying “idk about you but yeah this whole thing between us is so not a big deal to me and i definitely am not deeply invested in it like you but best of luck” I WOULD BE MOOOOORTIFIED and then die but shane is like. “☝️Bullshit. Also i like you way too much and ik you feel the same. do u wanna be something with me” HES CRAAAAAZY I LOVE YOU MY SHANE BOY

To be clear. Shane's whole thing about Ilya being a Sex God is because of the limerence. Ilya is nineteen and he can get a rhythm going and that's about it. He was throwing shit at the wall when he hit that 'Get on your knees' in Nashville but only he knows that because Shane's brain turned OFF. Ilya said "Let's do a little experiment here" and the results were "Oh my god oh my god oh my god." Shane came hands free because he was that obsessed with the idea of Ilya Rozanov being inside him. Ilya said "Do you like that do you like that" because he's nineteen and he needs the validation and Shane was like "YES YES YES I LIKE IT OH MY GOD YOU'RE SO DEEP YOU'RE SO GOOD" and objectively. It was okay. Ilya fully did not know where to put his hands a couple of times. He forgot about Shane's dick. Luckily, Shane is God's special angel who can come from the idea of Ilya's cockhead being in proximity to his prostate a few times. Mind over matter, says Shane Hollander's dick. And then Ilya said "Oh God Hollander" because it was also, objectively, one of the hottest things that had ever happened to HIM, Ilya Rozanov. Shane sits on that step afterwards plotting about how he's gonna get this over and over and over again for the rest of his life and he has no idea that there are women in Boston who have Ilya listed in their contacts as "Hockey Guy 6/10". Shane Hollander cannot fathom a world in which Ilya Rozanov doesn't lay the maddest pipe this side of Lake Michigan. "Ilya Rozanov is a some kind of nineteen year old sex God" No Shane honey he was just designed in a lab to score goals and make you cum and he's done scoring goals for the night.

I think Shane Hollander would use his hometown superstar hockey powers to rent out the Ottawa stadium for one night maybe for like one of their anniversaries so he and Ilya could be completely alone and maybe they actually suit up and play 1v1 for awhile (hard and fast of course. like the golden age) and maybe it is actually too cold to fuck on center ice so instead they feel each other up in the actual Sin Bin bc Obviously but Shane stops it from going too far so they go to the locker room bc Shane wants to roleplay the first time in the showers after the commercial except this time he actually gets to do what he really wanted to do and suck Ilya off right there in the middle of the shower and he doesn't have to worry about anyone there but maybe they pretend they will get caught a little bit...