So I've been thinking (dangerous I know) and I was looking at 2 Timothy 1:7 which says 'For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.' I've heard this verse sooo many times - usually when I'm freaking out about something I'm scared of and someone decides to quote it at me. This normally doesn't work that well because it makes me feel guilty about being scared of whatever it is I'm freaking out about and I end up in a guilt spiral. Of course that's because I feel like I can't live up to God's super high boldness/courage level as I am basically pathetic. It feels like this verse says 'man up' and then looks at you in disappointment as you fail miserably. Fortunately (at least for me) that is a misreading of this verse. God gives us the spirit of power and love and self-control. We don't provide anything in this situation. It is God given and independent of us. So when i freak out about stuff I know that I can rely on God, not on my own strength. God uses us in our weakness.
The other thing that struck me when reading this was that so often we stop at the power bit. We don't include the love and we definitely don't include the self-control. Power is great; we feel like we can get on board with this. Love is good too - particularly if we're on the reciving end rather than the more uncomfortable self sacrificial end. But self-control? Is that something we honestly really want? I dont exactly rejoice in self-control. I also really struggle with self-control too so maybe that has something to do with it.
When I first read this verse I felt a bit like it wasn't supposed to be there, like it was an odd bit that had been tagged on. But I wonder if that's because of how we think of self-control in our Christian lives, just tagged on at the end of the fruit of the Spirit, just tagged on as a nice extra. But it shouldn't be. There's a reason that it's one of the fruit of the Spirit and also why we are given the spirit of self-control here in 2 Timothy, because it's important to our growth as God's children and something we should strive for. And we aren't alone in this; it is God given because we need all the help we can get. We have such gracious God.
