I've lost something
I was never a realist but seeing how I live now it just doesn't make sense. I use to have alot of wonder and imagination, seeing the world in a new light (have a innocent way of looking at the world).
I see the world as it is now. Filthy, cruel, harsh and alot of disorder. I use to have so much fun in this messed up world. I don't know when I lost my hope for this world, hope for living (I'm only sometimes suicidal). But it isn't about living, it's about being yourself fully and doing what you love. And I'm doing that, but I dont know why i can't do it with the innocence i had before.
I know I'm growing up and I dont need those childish thoughts anymore. But i definitely miss the old me, it really messes me up sometims. Not having that what i use to have, or the kid i used to be.
