father figure liker, patriarchy hater, boy kisser

mind you i have like 300 followers there, hardly post, hardly collect more than 3 likes per post. i just decided to quote one (1) video of a very well-known and loved french influencer who said jesus had "called" her. now this wasn’t the first instance of something like that happening to an influencer who’d gone through hiatus months prior to this. i just thought i’d point it out u know

now here’s the weird part: usually i do everything i can to avoid touching the people sitting next to me because it feels like burning and i hate hate hate it. it’s especially difficult with cishet men because, you know, manspreading. im transmasc and mostly pass as a man, but i look incredibly gay so it doesn’t change much. the thing is, i wasn’t afraid of physical contact last night. i was CRAVING it. we were both trying to sleep but every time we touched (mostly thighs and arms because you know how large bus seats are) it felt sooooo gooood. not even sexy good but comfortable good, i could feel him breathing and i kinda felt.... at home??? idk it was weird. i wasn’t trying to like jam my thigh into his because im not a creep but i let it happen when it did which i NEVER do usually. and i don’t want to speculate too much but i think i could feel him relaxing into it as well??? idk might be me.

and at some point we stop to get some passengers out and some others in and a lot of bus seats are empty, he’s awake so he knows he can change seats now if he wants more space to himself. he doesn’t. what he does instead is he gets off the bus, smokes, gets back on right next to me.