#personal

*casually isolates as much as possible and descends into a FIERY HELL of psychosis and regression and ///burning/// while heartbeat by childish gambino plays on repeat for hours every day* listen everything is so fine and i am doing so good

wow! i can feel them touching me everywhere i can feel them all over me and it’s so hard to breathe and i don’t know what to do! why! did this happen to me! why can’t i go back to completely forgetting it why did it have to happen to me why can’t i just not be fucked up why did they do all those things to me did i do something to deserve it???? was i such a ///sexy/// kid that they just ciuldn’t resist???? guess i looked too hot in that bathing suit or whatever lol it’s fucking disgusting i can feel them everywhere all over me and inside me and my chest hurts so bad and i can’t breathe and i’m just so so sick i’m sick of this i’m sicj of feeling like this i’m sick of thinking about it i’m sick of feeling so dirty and bad and ruined!!!! but i guess i’ve always been bad i just didn’t know it lmao but whyyyy why wjy why it’s not fair!! run me over w/ a semi i just want to sleep and/or die