☆Glitch is here!!☆

New episode of The Havana Rats! Featuring:

The alternate decision where in Matador Gothic, Alfonso did pull the trigger after finding out about Carmen’s greenhouse being destroyed. This is just my interpretation of how this could have gone, but I imagine an Alfonso who is distraught by the fact that he chose his duty over his morals. It’s never something he had truly thought he would struggle with because they normally intertwined, His morals were his duty up until this moment. Yes, he may have felt sympathy for those people…for who they were before they were subjected to the curse; however, I don’t believe he ever viewed himself as being so torn apart over it, being genuinely disturbed. He’s just standing there in shock, replaying what he had just done, if he had actually gone through with it, because he was genuinely considering letting her live despite the risks. It takes him a bit to realize why he felt that way, not because he didn’t know how he felt, but because he’s still recovering from that shock. He had just made the decision and shot someone he had genuine feelings for before he could even fully understand them.

Then the guilt starts to hit, part of it is because of knowing her circumstances and the developing relationship between them. Still, the other part comes to the idea that he was debating ending it in the first place because of his “selfish” want for her, that he was even regretting it.

It chews him from the inside out, and he has to go to sleep that night with that feeling.

There could be the possibility of leaving the guild, but it is all forgotten when he stays and continues to slay these monsters. Maybe it would make things feel better, knowing that he would have more purpose in doing what he does, to make sure no one else would suffer the same fate as his Guest; however, everytime he does slay a vampire, it hurts and not out of guilt for this creature derived from hell but because every time he kills them, the memory of her face flashes across his mind. Every time it does, his blade sinks a little deeper.

He hardly knew her, but the memory of her holds so much weight that he doesn't know how to handle it. His father’s death was heavy on him, but there is a different gravity to this one. He got to live out a relationship with his dad. Still, he never got to truly explore one with this woman, build a history with her, and the thought of “what could have been” if he hadn’t put her out of an agonizing fate is the most haunting part about it— the whole “what if there was another way.” So he continues slaying, and every single time, more rage and hurt build within him to the point it almost feels numb to even have those feelings, like it’s a routine. He goes to sleep with that feeling, telling himself it’s another motivator to keep slaying.

I mean, it did have its flaws and whatnot, but it was not the worst thing i have ever seen. Some parts made me hiss from embarrassement and disgust, but that was it. I liked how they ended all togheter and resolved the main problem. I'll give it a 8/10.

--- fih AU