Sometimes you'll find yourself standing in the kitchen trying to get up the nerve to get dressed, brush your teeth, and get through the day like nothing is wrong, as if your whole world hasn't changed drastically in the past while, but you can't help but realize that and maybe you'll begin to ponder on the little things. Maybe when you do, you start to feel somber and delicate. You want something to ease the pain while in the same instance you just want to cleanse your body. Nothing makes sense strangely because it's all pretty simple, but in this moment simple is the last thing anything seems. You're going to shed a teer, maybe grit your teeth, punch a wall and scream, "why, God, why?!". Then, you're gonna wanna fall to the floor- lemme tell u if you do, let it happen, hit that floor like a crash-- you're going to bawl for 2 minutes, if that. You'll think about cutting or jumping or drugging, whichever vice it is youre negative impulses invite you to do. But before you act on those devil impulses of hurt you don't need or deserve, you're gonna breathe in. You're gonna breathe out. You'll breathe in and out a few more times and finally after what feels like years (although it's been a five minute period) your shoulders will relax. You'll walk outside and brace the little things that you always take for granted. It'll feel good, so let it. Momentarily you'll notice that, without even thinking, you're breathing has regulated itself, the negative impulses have run off from your mind, and you feel so relaxed that you just might wonder if you're crazy. Ill tell you that you're not, this is a good thing. Once more, you'll breathe in and out, in and out, iiinn anddd oouuuttt then you will cry a tear of joy as you're grinning ear to ear and you will become suddenly so aware of the good things. Keep breathing. In, out. In, out. In, and, out. Only a handful of minutes have passed since the beginning of this cycle, and again it felt like years. You're going to be just fine. You thank God for who you are, who you have, and most of all thank God... dear, dear, God for putting y OK u through these past few minutes and the realization you find during this, whatever it may be to you, will bring sweet relief. You will become calm completely calm in and out, breathe once more. You'll put your shoes on, head out the door, and go on with your day. Everything is okay. Always was and always will be. At last, only by the hand of God, you have been filled with love and joy. You are okay.
G.K.M. @glassofgenn
